


This Slope is Treacherous

by SuchASeeweedBrain



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Meeting, Hockey AU, Jesse Manes is a piece of shit and should be a warning on his own, Jesse Manes related Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, Teenage Malex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-01-25 14:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 89,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18575947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchASeeweedBrain/pseuds/SuchASeeweedBrain
Summary: His whole life, Alex has done what his father told him to. All his life, Michael has been the second choice for the people around him. That all changes when they meet. It takes them a little while to figure out what it is exactly that they feel for each other, but when they do, they will not let it go. No matter who tries to break them.Also known as:Alex Manes is a hockey player. That means he's white (eh, not quite), straight (eh, not at all) and tough (fine, he'll take that). His dad has made it very clear what he expects from him and Alex is fully planning on doing exactly what his dad told him to, but then he meets Michael Guerin, and those plans fly right out of the window.





	1. Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don't touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there you go, this is happening.  
> I saw this idea on bisexualalienblast's tumblr (go follow her btw) and I could resist writing it. 
> 
> My native language is not English (it's Dutch) and I'm dyslexic, so any spelling/ grammar mistakes I blame on Word not filtering them out for me. Also, I don't actually speak Spanish, so any mistakes in that I blame on Google translate. 
> 
> Their ages are going to be a little different from what is canon (I think) 
> 
> As said in the tags, Jesse Manes is a piece of shit and he will be acting as such. 
> 
> A general knowledge of hockey will come in handy, but is not neccesary to understand what's going on. At least, I don't think so. I'm not an expert on hockey myself, so this should be fun. The general premise of hockey is pretty simple, putting the puck in the net is good.  
> Oh and I am a Bruins supporter, come at me (please don't XD)

‘Alex, let’s go!’ His dad called at him from downstairs. Alex took a deep breath, checking himself in the mirror one more time. He still thought he looked like a child playing dress up, but his dad had insisted he had to wear a suit. His hair was about as neat as he could get it, and he could see the nerves in his own eyes.

‘Fuck me.’ Alex whispered under his breath and he hurried from his room, not willing to face himself anymore.

‘Alex!’ His father yelled again, just as Alex hit the last few steps of the stairs.

‘Yeah, I’m here.’ He said as he jogged into the living room. His father was standing at the door, impatient set to his jaw.

‘Well, let’s go then. I told you to be ready by six didn’t I?’ His father said sharply. Alex checked his phone. 5:55.

‘Yes dad, sorry.’ He’d learned a long time ago, not to argue with his dad, even if he was wrong.

His father didn’t say anything else as they headed out of the house. There was a car waiting for them. The moment the doors closed the driver started heading for the American Airline Centre, where the draft was being held.

‘So, are you excited for tonight?’ The driver asked Alex, he was smiling kindly at him through the rear-view mirror.

‘Oh, yes I am.’ Alex said, smiling back at the man.

‘Any thoughts on where you want to go?’ The driver asked as he turned a corner. Alex’s father gave him a sharp look.

‘No not really.’ Alex said quickly.

‘O come on. You wouldn’t even prefer to be drafted to a team that’s good?’ He knew the driver was just making conversation, just trying to make him laugh, but it was only making him more anxious.

‘All we want is for him to get drafted.’ Alex’s father cut in and his tone immediately shut the driver up. Alex fought not to flinch. The man made eye contact with Alex through the mirror and he actually looked concerned. Alex immediately looked away and focussed his eyes on the city passing by. He’d been to Dallas before, but this was a special occasion.

There were no more attempts at conversation. The rest of the drive was spend in uncomfortable silence while Alex tried to keep his breathing even. They arrived at the American Airlines centre with fifteen minutes to spare. They were early, of course. Alex didn’t tell his father that, he just thanked the driver, got out of the car and threw the door shut behind himself.

The build up to the actual draft part of the night got to the point where it was almost ridiculous. Alex just sat there, next to his father, trying not to tap his foot of wring his hands. He tried to look as stoic as his father was, but he knew it wasn’t working. As the drafting started, and some Swedish kid went first overall, Alex forced himself to take a deep breath. They were expecting Alex to be drafted within the first ten picks, but crazy things happened every year.

‘With the tenth overall pick, the Boston Bruins select Alexander Manes, forward from West Point.’ Alex let out a breath of relief as his father pulled him to his feet to hug him.

‘Smile Alex.’ His father said in his ear, and Alex plastered a smile on his face. He just wanted to go. He didn’t want to be here. He loved to play hockey, not have camera’s shoved in his face.

When his father released him, Alex did what he was supposed to do. He smiled, shook hands, accepted the black and gold jersey and fought a wince as the GM of the Bruins slapped him on the shoulder in congratulations. There were reporters that wanted to ask him questions, questions he answered with all the grace he could muster. He told them how excited he was to be drafted by an Original Six team, how he’d been looking forward to this day for so long, how proud his father was.

By the time he made it back to the hotel, he felt like he’d been running drills all day, or like he’d been run over by a car. The bruises hiding under his suit didn’t help.

‘Get some sleep.’ His dad said, waving him off. Alex stared after him for a few seconds as his dad walked away, and then just did what he was told. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

 

The move to Boston was less stressful then Alex had expected it to be, but that was probably because his father ran the move like it was a military operation. He got settled and even had a few days to explore the city before he was due to report at training camp. His first training camp. At NHL level. With NHL calibre players. For an NHL organisation.It wasn’t just that. His father’s expectations were high, really high. He had already basically told Alex that he expected him to earn a spot on the main roster this year. Even though Alex was just nineteen and almost all players his age ended up in the minor league team first.

To say Alex was nervous about his first day at training camp would have been an understatement. Petrified was probably better. He just hoped he’d still be able to skate. He was incredibly grateful his father hadn’t insisted on coming with him to training camp, he had however, demanded Alex gave him a full report at the end of the day.

‘Hey! Alex Manes right?’ The woman that approached him was undoubtedly beautiful. Even Alex’s gay ass could see that. She was tall, early twenties, with smooth chocolate coloured skin, warm brown eyes and wavy deep brown hair. She was dressed like she knew what she was doing and would have no trouble telling you off if you didn’t.

‘Yes. Hello.’ Alex replied, holding out his hand to her. She smiled and shook his hand.

‘Maria DeLuca. I run the PR department.’ Alex found himself smiling back at her.

‘Nice to meet you. Do you always hang around the lobby to introduce yourself to unsuspecting prospects?’ Alex asked before he could really think it through. These were the kinds of comments his father would have slapped him for. But Maria didn’t miss a beat.

‘Absolutely. I have to see what I’m going to be PRing this season right?’

‘I don’t think that’s a word.’ Alex stated and Maria laughed.

‘I like you.’ She said simply and Alex could feel his cheeks heat up. ‘Do you know where you need to go?’

‘I assume towards the sign that says _Training camp this way_ , with the arrow on it?’ Alex asked and Maria smirked at him.

‘You’re a smart one, huh?’ She said and she patted his shoulder as she started to head down another hall. ‘I have to run, it was nice to meet you. Good luck today!’ She waved over her shoulder and Alex waved back on autopilot.

‘Nice to meet you too.’ He said and then Maria disappeared around the corner. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, but their two minute conversation had settled something in Alex. He was still nervous, no doubt about it, but he felt much calmer now. He headed in the direction the sign told him to and he ended up at a check-in desk. He had to show the access card they’d mailed him so he could enter the building and the parking lot, and they told him where to drop off his bag and where to go next, which was a big meeting room at the end of the hall. There were already several people there.

Alex had never had trouble making friends, he was fairly social by nature, but the fear that his father had instilled in him about being himself had been getting in the way of that.

‘Oh hey! You’re the first round pick right? Manes?’ The guy that approached him was a little shorter then Alex, he looked a bit like he’d stepped off the pages of GQ. He was probably a few years older than Alex and because he’d done his research he knew the name to go with the cheekbones.

‘Kyle Valenti right?’ Alex said as he held out a hand for him.

‘Guilty.’ Valenti grinned and shook his hand. ‘Welcome to Boston.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I watched you play at West Point last season and I was so happy when you were still on the board at 10, I wasn’t expecting we’d get an opportunity to get you!’ His enthusiasm was infectious and Alex felt more relaxed by the minute.

‘Jesus Christ Valenti, why don’t you declare your undying love for him already. Calm the fuck down.’ The guy that approached them was unfamiliar to Alex. He told himself that’s why he was so thrown off by the guys appearance.

He was gorgeous. All sun kissed skin, golden curls and hazel eyes that were piercing into Alex’s soul. He was the same height as Alex and looked about the same age too. He moved with the grace of an athlete, but the thick scarring on his hand made that seem unlikely to Alex.

‘Alex Manes, meet one of our equipment guys and resident ray of sunshine, Michael Guerin.’ Valenti introduced them and Alex was suddenly far too aware of his sweaty hand as he shook Guerin’s.

‘Hey.’ Guerin said shortly. ‘Don’t let this asshole fool you. He’s a piece of shit.’ Guerin said, actually smiling at Alex a little, so he figured he didn’t really mean that.

‘I will keep that in mind.’ Alex assured him and Valenti’s vaguely insulted noise made Guerin grin at him. Boy, was that a sight to behold.

Fuck, Alex needed to shut this down real quick. He was here to play hockey and completely ignore his sickness, not to fall head over heels into a crush on the equipment guy.

‘Good. it was nice to meet you, I have to go do my job now.’ Guerin said, he waved at a guy over his shoulder and headed out of the room.

‘Guerin is a good guy, was a great hockey player too, but then he busted up his hand, couldn’t really play anymore after that.’ Valenti explained.

‘Oh, that sucks.’ Alex said, feeling a genuine sadness for Guerin. Not being able to play the sport you love anymore would be awful enough, but ending up working so close to where you wanted to be, but not being able to reach it, seemed much, much worse.

‘Yeah it really does. Max got him the job here after it became clear he wouldn’t be able to play anymore.’

‘Max?’

‘Evans. The two of them are like, brothers? I think? The whole thing is kind of confusing.’ Valenti shrugged. Alex wasn’t going to pretend to understand what he was talking about. He knew who Max Evans was, second line centre and alternate captain, but he had no idea about the relationship between him and Guerin.

‘Okay. That’s nice?’ Alex said and it really came out much more questioning then he’d planned. Valenti laughed.

‘I’ll introduce you.’ He turned around and hollered across the room. ‘Evans! Come here!’ Alex flinched at the way everyone turned to look at them. Evans rolled his eyes, but came towards them.

‘What?’ He asked. Evans was tall and looked intimidating. Alex wasn’t sure if they were going to get along based on what he’d seen from the guy. He seemed kind of harsh sometimes, so Alex tried to prepare himself.

‘As you can see, the sunshine gene really runs in the family. Alex Manes, this is Max Evans.’ Kyle grinned at Alex. ‘Evans, our first round pick, Alex Manes.’

‘Hi.’ Alex said and Evans shook his hand just on this side of hard. Alex fought to keep his smile firmly in place. He wasn’t about to let himself be intimidated by this guy when he hadn’t even had the chance to do something wrong yet. ‘Nice to meet you.’ Alex said steadily. He was a Manes after all.

‘Nice to meet you too.’ Evans said, it sounded somewhat genuine, but he really didn’t come off as very warm or inviting. ‘Was that it Valenti?’ He asked.

‘Yep, thank you mister Sparkles.’ Valenti said, waving at Evans sarcastically as Evans rolled his eyes and left them alone. ‘Don’t mind him, he’s got a lot going on right now.’ He added. Alex decided not to ask.

The rest of the day, Kyle, as he insisted Alex call him, stuck close to Alex, which he appreciated. The group trying out that year was huge and there would be very few spots that were set to be filled by young players. Alex just had to make sure he was one of them. The support of a guy who already had two years of NHL experience under his belt was appreciated.

Alex did, even if he said so himself, very well. Their first test was the fitness test in the gym. Because of his father’s rigorous training schedule, this was a piece of cake for him. He kept up with the veterans and it earned him several approving noises from the coaching staff. During their lunch hour, Kyle introduced him to Noah Bracken, their starting goalie, and the guy that was apparently married to Evans’ sister. Noah seemed nice, and that was about all that Alex got from him. They were also joined by Michael, and by default, Evans. Michael sat across from Alex and they ended up talking about all sorts of things. Were they were from (to their surprise they were both from New Mexico), their favourite music, how they’d ended up playing hockey in a state that was pretty much nothing but desert. It was fun. Fun to the point that Alex wished he could have stayed there. But that was not an option, the second part of their first day consisted of them running some basic drills on the ice. Yet again, Alex was grateful for the way his father had drilled him over the years, as his stamina seemed much better than that of most of the younger players. Had his dad actually done something right after all. Shocker.

By the end of the day, Alex was exhausted, but felt much better than he had coming in. Much of his anxiety had ebbed away as the day went on and he felt more in place here than he ever did back home. The guys here, in general, seemed much more open, they were loud and wild and they liked to mess around. They took the sport seriously, no doubt about that, but they also liked to have fun, and Alex let himself be pulled along in that happily.

His mood didn’t stay that good. As soon as he stepped outside of the Bruins Warrior Ice Arena, he checked his phone for the first time that day. He had several texts from his father and two missed calls.

 _How did everything go?_ The first message seemed relatively normal. Just a father showing interest in his son. That façade disappeared quickly though.

_Alex, you were supposed to call me when you were done._

_Don’t make me regret not staying in Boston with you._

_Alex, you better call me soon, or I’m taking the next flight to Boston._

_Last chance Alex, you will regret making me come over there._

The last message was send five minutes ago. Alex fought not to panic as he immediately dialled his father’s number. It rang twice before his father answered.

‘It’s about damn time.’ His father’s voice was cold and despite the fact that he was on the other side of the country, it still made a shiver run down Alex’s spine.

‘Sorry dad, I just stepped from the building.’ Alex tried to reassure him.

‘Sure you did.’ The distrust in his father’s voice was about as sharp as a slap in the face, and Alex knew what those felt like.

‘We had a fitness test this morning.’ Alex tried, sometimes his father would let him move onto another topic. He really hoped today was one of those days.

‘Did you at least do well at that?’ His father asked.

‘Yes, I kept up with all the veterans, the coaches were very impressed. I did better than any other first time participant.’ Alex said, even letting a little bit of pride seep into his voice, he was still holding onto the compliments he’d received that day.

‘But there were players better then you?’

‘Yes, but-‘

‘No _buts_.’ His father cut in. ‘If you were not the best, that means you need to work harder.’ Alex was so glad his father wasn’t in Boston with him. He was so grateful that his father couldn’t see the flash of fear on his face at his tone.

‘Yes dad, I’m sorry.’

‘Then what?’

‘Then we had lunch and did some on-ice drills.’ Alex hesitated before continuing. ‘The coaches said they could see my stamina was much better than the other first-timers. That I was better prepared.’ Alex hoped that the way it almost seemed like a compliment towards his father, would be enough to keep him off his back.

‘See, I told you those miles I made you run were good for something.’

‘Yes dad, you were right.’ Alex made sure to stress.

‘Hey Manes! Updating the family on how awesome you were today?’ The voice that called out to him made Alex freeze.

‘Who is that?’ His father asked, immediately suspicious. A head of wild curls danced into Alex’s view.

‘Oh, that’s one of the Bruins staff.’ Alex said, trying to make it seem as casual as possible. Michael seemed to sense something was off and he stayed quiet.

‘Making friends, huh?’ The suspicious tone still hadn’t left his father’s voice and Alex’s mind was racing, trying to figure out a way out of this.

‘Yeah, he takes care of the equipment and such, I figured it’d be a good idea to make friends with him.’ Alex shrugged as he held eye contact with Michael, trying to convey with his eyes that he was just trying to placate his father. His father’s silence lasted just a beat too long.

‘Yes, that is a good idea.’ Alex smothered a sigh of relief. ‘I need to go. Update me tomorrow.’ His father hung up the phone before Alex could reply to that. Alex ran a hand over his face as he locked the phone and shoved it in his pocket. He didn’t really want to face Michael.

‘So, you’re just using me for my connections huh?’ The teasing tone in Michael’s voice took him by surprise.

‘My dad is… overbearing. He gets worried.’ Alex lied. He wasn’t even really sure how that was supposed to explain what he said, or why he said it and didn’t just follow Michael’s lead and made a joke. But Michael let him off easy. Again.

‘Don’t worry your pretty little head about it Manes.’ Michael said casually. ‘You have plans for dinner?’ Alex had to sucker punch his imagination in the face to make sure it didn’t read anything into that. He was just being friendly. Nothing more.

‘Not really? You?’ Alex asked.

‘Well, there’s this Mexican place around the corner that B’s players and staff go to all the time. It has the most awesome tacos.’ Michael’s eyes lit up at the mere mention of these tacos. That meant they had to be good right?

‘Okay. Sounds good.’ Alex agreed. ‘I’m a sucker for some good tacos.’ Michael grinned widely at him and well shit that was going to be a problem.

‘Oh dude! These are going to melt your mind!’ Michael said enthusiastically. He started heading down the street, waving Alex along. ‘I swear the first time I had this stuff I couldn’t think about anything else for about a week! And they’re not supposed to be that bad for you either, no super fat shit or anything, so you don’t even have to see it as a cheat day or something!’ Michael continued to chatter on about these amazing tacos for the entire three minutes it took them to get to the restaurant. It was kind of impressive.

‘Ah! Michael!’ The man that greeted them at the door was a large, kind looking man with a definite Spanish accent.

‘Señor Ortecho!’ Michael replied enthusiastically. ‘¿Cómo estás?’ Michael asked.

‘Estoy bien!’ Mister Ortecho then launched into a very detailed story about how he’d gone out dancing the other day with his daughter and how he hadn’t had such a good time in a long time. When mister Ortecho finished his story with a wide grin, Michael seemed to remember Alex was there.

‘Oh, sorry. Señor Ortecho, this is Alex Manes, a new Bruins prospect. I figured I should introduce him to the best tacos in town.’

‘Ah yes, I saw you on the draft. Nice to meet you, I’m sorry for rambling on.’ Mister Ortecho shook Alex’s hand with an adorable amount of enthusiasm.

‘I didn’t mind, it was an entertaining story.’ Alex assured the man.

‘You could follow that?’ Michael asked, surprised. Alex raised a single eyebrow at Michael.

‘I grew up twenty minutes from the US/ Mexican border, I know Spanish.’ Alex said and mister Ortecho laughed.

‘I like this one.’ He said to Michael who grinned at him and replied in Spanish.

‘Yo también.’ Alex fought not to blush. So do I? _So do I?!_ How was he supposed to _not_ interpret that as flirting?

‘Let me sit you two down.’ Mister Ortecho said, and he lead them to a table that wasn’t immediately visible from the entrance. Alex felt uncomfortable by the insinuation that they’d need to be secluded, did mister Ortecho know something Alex didn’t? Was this a usual thing? Was this just Michael’s favourite table?

‘We usually get a table over this way. It’s nice when you can be a bit secluded, that way you don’t get interrupted the whole time, and no one is going to take embarrassing pictures of you with a taco half way in your mouth.’ Michael said and it was a little bit like he could read Alex’s internal freak out. Maybe he could. Alex attempted to recover from his minor break-down quickly.

‘Well that’s good, because there really is no charming way to eat tacos.’

‘Exactly!’ Michael exclaimed, bright grin firmly in place.

‘Hello there Michael, back again?’ The girl that approached their table was, for lack of a better phrase, drop dead gorgeous. Again, Alex was gay, not blind. He was stopped from observing her by her turning her sharp, intelligent eyes onto him. ‘Who’s your friend?’

‘Liz, this is Alex Manes, Alex, this is Liz Ortecho.’ Ah, so she was the owner’s daughter.

‘Ah, the first round pick, I didn’t recognize you without you looking like you’re about to throw up.’ Liz said with a sweet smile on her face. Alex blinked at her.

‘Well that’s good.’ Alex decided on.

‘Is it?’ She asked.

‘Yeah, that means I don’t look like I’m about to be sick in my every day life, I’d say that’s a positive.’

‘Hm, good point.’ Liz shrugged. ‘Can I get you anything to drink?’

‘Just a water please.’ Alex said.

‘Alright, Michael?’

‘I’ll have the same please.’

‘Alright, coming right up.’ She said and she put down two menu’s before heading off towards the kitchen.

‘She seems nice.’ Alex tried as Michael stayed silent, watching him as Liz left.

‘She is a firecracker. You handled her well though. You have a sister?’ Michael asked and Alex’s mind immediately raced to find a way to get off the topic of family.

‘Nah. Just brothers.’ Alex said casually. ‘So, you mentioned these tacos, anything specific I should get?’ From what he’d gathered so far, his best bet at distracting Michael would be to bring up food, and sure enough-

‘Oh yes!’ Michael launched into another detailed description of what these magical tacos should contain. Alex didn’t entirely pay attention. The restaurant was really nice, not that big, but it looked warm, cosy and homey. It wasn’t packed or anything, but Alex thought it was still fairly busy for a Monday night.

‘- and then the cheese-‘ Michael paused mid-sentence. Alex looked back at him. ‘You have no idea what I just said, do you?’ Michael asked with a grin. Alex fought not to look guilty, he shrugged.

‘You were telling me how amazing these tacos were.’ Michael narrowed his eyes at him but let it go as Liz came to bring them their waters.

‘Have you boys decided yet?’ She asked, even though she couldn’t be much older then them.

‘I’ll have the usual please.’ Michael said and it really spoke to how often Michael was here that Liz didn’t need any more explanation then that.

‘Mister Manes?’ Alex spluttered, and he knew he was blushing.

‘Oh god no, don’t- just- please, just call me Alex.’ Michael laughed at Alex’s expression, Liz cracked a smile as well. ‘I’ll just have what he’s having.’ Alex said, heat high on his cheeks.

Their dinner was… wonderful. And terrifying. It started off as a friend thing, and it ended up feeling about as close to a date as Alex had ever gotten. Michael would have these little brushes with flirting that made Alex’s mind (and heart) stutter.

He told Alex all sorts of funny stories about his friends. About how Liz was going to Harvard and how she’d made his brother (because Evans apparently had had a giant crush on Liz, and they were now dating) attempt ballroom dancing. Just the thought of tall, strong, serious Max Evans attempting to dance just because Liz Ortecho smiled at him was hilarious. He also told Alex about his sister Isobel and how she’d demanded a giant elaborate proposal from Noah, a proposal that, in the end, she mostly planned herself. He also told him about Kyle, and how he actually quite liked him from time to time, when he wasn’t being a giant dick.

Before Alex really knew it, he checked his phone and it was nearly ten. He blinked at the time, as if he wasn’t sure he’d seen it right.

‘Time to go home?’ Michael asked, Alex was sure he imagined the disappointment in his voice.

‘Yeah, I really should. I’ve got to be back at Warrior tomorrow morning, and I do actually need to rest at some point.’ Alex smiled sheepishly.

‘Crap, sorry man. I totally forgot about that, you must be exhausted.’ Michael said, flinching. Alex had honestly forgotten his fatigue entirely, but now that he mentioned it, Alex felt like someone took the need to sleep, and slapped him in the face with it. He could just about supress a yawn.

‘No, it’s fine. I had a ton of fun.’ Alex said as Liz showed up with the check, like she could read their minds. ‘Split the check?’ Alex asked.

‘Sure.’ Michael smiled, seemingly assured that Alex wasn’t mad or anything. Alex made sure to leave a tip and he was fairly certain Michael did as well. Michael waved at mister Ortecho as they headed out of the door. The night’s air was chilly, and not entirely unwelcome.

‘So, you were right, those were the best tacos I’ve ever had.’ Alex admitted, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

‘I told you.’ Michael grinned at him. ‘Which way are you heading?’

‘That way.’ Alex nodded in the direction of his apartment.

‘Ah, I’m heading the other way.’ Michael said. They both just paused there for a second. Standing on the sidewalk next to each other. Alex felt unsure about what he was supposed to do next. He’d never really been on a friend-date before. He’d never really been on a date, period. After an uncomfortably long silence, Alex decided to just wing it.

‘So, I’ll see you tomorrow?’

‘Bright and early.’ Michael seemed to jump at the opportunity to break the awkwardness.

‘Bright and early.’ Alex confirmed, he was one hundred percent certain he’d make a hug awkward, and they’d only known each other for about twelve hours, so Alex just waved and started heading down the sidewalk. This had just made things so much more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there we go. I've gone and done it. I've started something that requires a follow up.  
> I can't give you an update schedule, but I promise I will come back to this!


	2. Out of focus, eye to eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael realizes a few things, Alex is an adorable little ray of sunshine, and we're all in this together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I had not planned on taking this long, but I've had a crazy busy week and I had no chance of writing down all the stuff that was going through my head, so I had to try an collect the basic idea's through random notes on my phone. It was a challenge.  
> I have a vague outline and an idea of where I'm going with this, which is kind of impressive for me to be honest. 
> 
> Now that it's been almost a week, I've also had some time to calm the fuck down over that finale. I'm still pissed though. Here's to the writers doing better in season 2.  
> Just to make it very clear. In my story, Maria will not be getting between our boys in any way shape or form. I wouldn't do that to her. I love Maria! 
> 
> Oh and, surprise! I'm switching POV's. Who knew? (Not me)

Michael realized he was in trouble about a week too late. Looking back, it was all pretty obvious. When he’d first met Alex, he’d really only gone over because he smelt an opportunity to bicker with Valenti. He’d noticed Alex, of course he had, he was a new face in the conference room. He’d looked nervous and yet he still hadn’t missed a beat when replying to Michael.

But it wasn’t until he was sitting across from him at lunch that Michael realized he actually liked him. Alex was surprisingly funny, smart as a whip and he loved a lot of the same things Michael did. They both loved technology, physics and science, they both loved guitar, music in general and they both grew up in New Mexico.

But, looking back, the moment things really went to shit for Michael was when he decided it was a good idea to go out to dinner with Alex. Because in the low lighting of the restaurant, belly full of the best tacos in the world, he realized Alex was freaking gorgeous. He had that insanely soft looking tanned skin, the messy brown hair that always looked like he’d tried to tame it, but failed, beautiful soulful eyes under expressive eyebrows, and his mouth… well that looked like it had been drawn onto him by Michelangelo or something.

It was kind of rude actually. How was he allowed to be smart, funny, interesting, beautiful and incredibly good at hockey all at the same time?

Either way, he didn’t really put all of this together until about a week later, the last day of training camp as he watched Alex laugh with Valenti as they ran through their final warmups.

Michael was watching from the bench with the other two equipment guys. Sanders was nearly sixty at this point, he’d worked for the Bruins for almost forty years and he knew just about everything there was to know about equipment. He’d taken Michael in with open arms when Max got him the job there, instead of being a dick because the only reason Michael got the job was his brother. The being an asshole part could be left up to Martin.

Martin was an asshole wrapped in a dickbag, covered with a blanket of douchery. But he also happened to be very, _very_ good at sharpening skates. Which was unfortunate.

‘That new kid is good huh?’ Sanders said, leaning over to Michael. He realized he’d been staring.

‘Yeah, he is.’ Michael said as neutral as he could manage.

Alex was very good. Good to the point Michael wished he could play with him. Good to the point Michael wondered if the Bruins would actually put him in their opening day line-up. Alex seemed completely at ease on the ice. Like the white slippery surface under his skates gave him a freedom he couldn’t get anywhere else. He looked at home on the ice. Off the ice there always seemed to be some sort of tension in Alex, and it usually revolved around his ever present phone.

Michael didn’t want to assume things, but from what he gathered, and what he’d learned from his own childhood, most of Alex’s tension seemed to come from his family. He’d noticed it that first day. How Alex had frozen when his father heard Michael’s voice through the phone. Michael had seen Alex’s father when he was watching the draft and he’d looked pretty normal to him, but he also knew the whole saying about a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

‘Alright!’ Coach yelled to make himself heard over the loud chatter amongst his players. They al quieted down like good little schoolchildren and made a neat half circle around coach. It was almost funny. ‘We’re going to be playing some five on five, here are the lines.’ Coach started to rattle off a whole bunch of names. A lot of them didn’t surprise him, but the one that had him lift up his head was the: Valenti- Evans – Manes line.

‘Nice choice.’ Sanders mumbled next to him.

‘Really?’ Martin asked from the other side of Sanders. His voice alone made Michael want to roll his eyes. ‘The new kid with Valenti and Evans? That’s not going to work.’ Sanders had always had the patience of a saint, which was good, because Michael didn’t.

‘Why not?’ Sanders asked.

‘Manes is quick and everything, but he lacks the skill to really add something to this line. Evans is already pretty much brute force incarnate and Valenti is quick but that’s about it.’ Michael wanted to point out that was all bullshit, but whenever he would argue with Martin, he’d end up wanting to knock the guy’s teeth out, and that seemed counterproductive.

‘I disagree.’ Sanders said, still completely calm. ‘I think he adds the creativity to that line they’ve been missing. He does things no one expects him too, it doesn’t always have to work out.’ Martin mumbled a few more words under his breath, but Sanders didn’t pay him any more attention. Sanders glanced over at Michael, smiled and winked before turning back to watch the play.

Sanders had noticed how much Michael liked Alex almost right away. He’d told Michael it was nice to see him make friends. It had sounded so fatherly it had thrown him for the rest of the day.

Michael watched as Sanders turned out to be right. There were a few miscommunications (especially between Alex and Max) but for the most part, their line kicked ass. They seemed to compliment each other really well. Max, stoic and calm. Kyle, fearless and intentionally annoying. Alex, unpredictable and unbothered. It just worked. Michael found himself smiling as Kyle whooped loudly when Alex scored after _pirouetting_ around a defender.

‘The kid is good!’ Kyle yelled dramatically, flailing down onto the ice. ‘That was too beautiful, I can die happily now.’ Alex laughed, and Max cracked a smile too.

‘Finally I can get rid of you.’ Max deadpanned and Kyle made a wounded noise, clutching at his heart.

‘Why must you hurt me like this?’ He asked.

‘Well you did leave that door like, _wide_ open.’ Alex shrugged, holding a hand out to Kyle to help him up.

‘Et tu, Brute?’ Kyle asked, ignoring Alex’s outstretched hand in favour of laying down a little longer.

‘Did you just quote Caesar?’ Max asked. Alex seemed to give up on Kyle and straightened up.

‘Well it was never actually proven that Caesar said this.’ Alex shrugged. ‘Shakespeare is the one who wrote that line.’ Max blinked at Alex and then turned back to Kyle.

‘Fine, did you just quote Shakespeare?’

‘Boys.’ Coach said in a strict tone. Michael wasn’t sure if he imagined the minute change in Alex’s posture. Michael had noticed that Alex seemed to react very strongly to being spoken at in a certain tone. By very strongly, Michael obviously meant barely visible. Because, as expressive as Alex was, he was also very good at shutting down completely. Compartmentalizing was probably what he would call it. Michael called it self-defence. He didn’t want to assume anything, but there were some signs Michael was having a hard time ignoring.  

It didn’t matter much, coach ended the training pretty soon after that, and Michael was left cleaning up the mess the players always seemed to leave behind.

 

It wasn’t until training camp ended, that Michael realized he was going to miss Alex Manes. It seemed like a silly thought at first, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made. Him and Alex had really clicked. They’d spend the majority of their lunch breaks discussing some weird random topic that no one else cared about. The possibility of there being life out there, somewhere else in the universe. Black holes. The Rosetta Stone. Formula One engines. The overlaps in their interests seemed endless. They just connected, and it scared the hell out of Michael. So he’d tried to convince himself some distance would be good. But now, sitting in his truck, three days since training camp had ended and he’d last seen Alex, all alone as the cold night started to creep in… he missed him.

It was stupid, that’s what he kept telling himself. He’d known the guy for a little more than a week. He was not supposed to be this attached after such a short time. That was not what Michael Guerin did.

Still, no matter how often he told himself this, he still missed the warmth of Alex’s smile. He missed the snarky comments and the random bursts of knowledge. He missed the expressive eyebrows and the fond looks whenever Michael said something particularly dense. He missed how Alex was never fooled when Michael pretended to be stupid.

He was startled from his poetic waxing about Alex when his phone rang. Speak of the devil.

‘Hey Alex.’ Michael answered.

‘Hey Michael.’ Michael made a valiant effort to ignore the flutter in his stomach at hearing Alex’s voice. ‘I was wondering if you had anything set for tonight?’ Michael frowned, it was already heading towards eight, it seemed a little late to be meeting up. If there was one thing professional athletes valued, it was their sleep.

‘Not really, did you have something in mind?’ Michael was curious now.

‘Well, you told me the other day that you hadn’t actually seen High School Musical, and I’ve decided that’s a tragedy I just can’t let go.’ Alex’s words seemed like their regular banter, but there was something off in his tone. Something that almost seemed pleading.

‘Really? Out of all the tragedies in my life _that’s_ the one you can’t handle?’ Michael teased, trying to see if he was just imagining that there was something not right, or not. Alex laughed but the sound wasn’t right. That was one thing Michael was certain off.

‘Well, you won’t even talk to me about those awful jeans you wear so this was the next best thing.’

‘Hey!’ Michael protested. ‘My jeans are not awful.’

‘They’re practically falling apart at the seams.’ Alex sighed.

‘Like you don’t appreciate the view.’ The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. The line went dead silent for a second. Fuck. Shit fucking fuck. That was too far. They had been,  tentatively flirting, was really the only way Michael could describe it, since they first met. This was too on the nose. He couldn’t really play it off as a joke either, the moment for the after-comment-laugh had passed already.

‘Well sure, but that doesn’t mean you should show all that to poor innocent children on the street.’ Alex had paused far too long for that comment to land the way it could have, but he was giving Michael an out and he was going to hold on to it like it was the last taco at Ortecho’s.

‘Oh please, now, do you want me to come see your silly childhood obsession, or do you want to make more rude, uncalled for comments about my jeans?’ Michael asked.

‘High School Musical is _not a silly childhood obsession, Michael_.’ Alex said before taking a deep breath. ‘You know what, you haven’t seen it, you don’t understand the emotional rollercoaster that is this movie.’

‘Wait I thought there was more than one?’

‘Baby steps, Guerin. Baby steps.’ Alex said and Michael was back to grinning at his phone like a lunatic.

‘Fine. Text me your address, I’ll come over.’ Michael said.

‘Alright, see you in a bit.’

‘See ya.’ Michael hung up. He thumped his head back against the back of his truck. He nearly fucked that up. He needed to get some control of himself. His phone buzzed with the incoming text from Alex. Michael set Google Maps to lead him there. It was only a seven minute walk. Nice.

He hadn’t forgotten that Alex’s voice had sounded off when he’d first called. Michael wondered if it was a family thing. From what Michael had gathered, in the whole week and a half he knew Alex, was that the only thing that would really throw him off seemed to be his family. Which was something Michael understood all too well. His relationship with Max and Isobel was complicated and simple all at the same time. Michael loved them, unconditionally and he would die for them in a heartbeat. But he also never quite knew where he stood with them. Max and Is were close in a way Michael would never be able to understand. They had a _connection_ Michael would never be able to understand. He was okay with that, he really was.

Was he though? That was the age-old question. Was Michael actually okay? Was he okay living in his truck in the middle of Boston now that it was heading towards winter? Was it okay that the two people he was supposed to be closest to hadn’t noticed? Was he okay with his new crush, on a guy?

The last one was fairly easy. The answer was yes. Michael had accepted a while ago that he wasn’t _just_ attracted to women. He had, however, never had an actual, full blown crush on a guy before, but this thing with Alex, he couldn’t really deny that’s what this was. That didn’t mean it didn’t scare the shit out of him, because it did.

He was pretty sure Alex felt something too, there had been too much mutual half-flirting conversations for him not too. But Alex was also a guy who’s dream it was to play in the NHL, and that was not a thing that people seemed to be able to combine. You could not be attracted to men and be a good hockey player. According to history at least. That seemed statistically impossible though.

Also, he should probably stop thinking about this stuff, as his phone informed him he had arrived at his destination. The building looked nice, simple, nothing over the top, but well taken care of. He checked the apartment number and hit the doorbell. The door buzzed and Michael let himself in. Alex’s apartment seemed to be on the second floor, so Michael took the stairs. When he found the right apartment, he knocked on the door.

‘It’s open!’ Alex’s muffled voice sounded from inside. Michael tried the doorknob and sure enough, the door opened.

‘That doesn’t seem safe.’ Michael said as he closed the door behind him, he could almost hear Alex roll his eyes.

‘I only unlocked it when I buzzed you in Guerin. Lock it and get over here.’ Alex voice drifted over from what seemed like the living room/kitchen area. The place was much like it had seemed from the outside. Comfortable but not lavish. As Michael locked the door after him and approached the couch he could see Alex was stretched out on the warm brown thing and Michael needed a second to process the long, strong lines of Alex’s body, barely hidden under the thin t-shirt he was wearing.

Oh, he had a crush alright.

‘Hey Michael.’ Alex said, leaning his head back on the couch and looking at him upside down.

‘Oh hello there Alex, no I’d never been to your apartment before, it’s very nice. Would I like something to drink? Yes that would be great.’ Michael said in a truly over the top happy voice. Alex didn’t just roll his eyes, he rolled his entire head. He then got up from the couch in one smooth move. He was dressed in that flimsy t-shirt and sweatpants, and he still looked drop dead gorgeous.

‘Hello Michael, welcome to my humble abode, can I offer you a refreshing glass of water?’ Alex replied in a terrible impression of a British accent. Michael made a completely not charming snorting noise.

‘Yeah, that’d be nice.’ He said, and Alex made his way into the kitchen. There seemed to be three rooms branching off the main area. A bedroom and a bathroom probably, the third room was a mystery.

The TV was off, but Alex’s laptop was on the coffee table and Netflix was on pause on the screen.

‘What were you watching?’ Michael asked. Alex laughed softly in the kitchen.

‘I may have been watching Now You See me.’

‘Again?’

‘Again.’ Alex had told him about that movie the second day of training camp. That day, he’d told Michael he’d seen that movie about five times already. Apparently that was not enough.

‘I guess I’m going to have to watch that too?’ Michael pretended to be very put off by the idea.

‘Absolutely, but that’s something for another day. Today, we must update your basic teenage Disney high school romance movie knowledge.’ Alex said, while be brought back two glasses of water from the kitchen.

‘That’s a mouthful.’ Michael grinned, accepting the glass from Alex and sitting down on the couch as he got shooed in the direction of it. It was very comfortable. The cushions were just soft enough to sink into, but also firm enough that you didn’t feel like you were drowning.

‘So, High School Musical.’ Alex said seriously, folding one leg underneath himself so he could turn to face Michael.

‘Modern day Romeo and Juliet.’ Michael turned his head to watch Alex.

‘Without the dying.’ Alex shrugged.

‘Right, without the dying. It is a Disney movie after all. We have to have a happy ending.’

‘Exactly, stories without a happy ending suck anyways.’ Alex shrugged. Michael wanted to face him fully, but the couch wasn’t _that_ big and they hadn’t exactly sat down on opposite sides of it, he didn’t want to make this uncomfortable, again.

‘Really? So you don’t like Titanic?’ Michael asked.

‘Nah.’

‘It won an Oscar, Alex.’

‘So? It’s stupid. If Rose had just _shared_ her freaking piece of ship with Jack, they could both have lived!’ Alex got that tone to his voice that he always did when something frustrated him, but he stopped himself before he could really get started. ‘Nope, we’re getting side-tracked.’ Michael smiled.

‘High School Musical.’ He reminded Alex.

‘Right. So it’s actually not as bad as you’re going to think it is.’ Alex made a vague hand movement at him and Michael frowned.

‘That’s a weird sentence.’ Michael said as Alex reached for the remote and clicked on the TV, it seemed like he was planning on casting the movie from his laptop onto the TV screen.

‘Deal with it.’ Alex simply replied as he switched tabs on his laptop and hit play. The opening sequence of the movie started to play. ‘I just realized I don’t have any snacks or anything other than water, sorry.’ Alex wasn’t really talking _to_ him, he didn’t look away from the TV.

‘It’s fine. It’s nice and warm here and your couch is damn comfortable. Plus, the company is good.’ Michael said, carefully watching as Alex’s cheeks turned that delightful pink. Making Alex blush was honestly one of Michael’s favourite pastimes.

‘Was it not warm at your place?’ Alex asked and Michael was a little disappointed Alex didn’t focus in on the other part of his comment. Also because he didn’t want to talk about this. About his “eh, I’m kind of living in my truck because my landlord turned out to be a fucking prick” situation.

‘Sure it was, but the walk over here was cold.’

‘Yeah, it’s really heading towards winter now.’ Alex really sounded far too happy about that as far as Michael was concerned. The only reason Michael had come to Boston in the first place, was because of Max and Is. He loved the city, but the weather? He could do without the rain and the snow and the biting wind.

‘Why do you sound happy about that?’ Michael realized he was paying no attention whatsoever to the two “teenagers” crooning about their start of something new on the TV. Maybe he should be. Paying attention. It was sort of fitting for their situation.

‘I’ve never seen snow before Michael, I’m excited, sue me.’ Alex grinned.

‘Maybe I will.’ Michael said, and he finally actually started paying a little bit of attention to the movie.

He watched as Troy and Gabriella made everything much, much more complicated then was necessary and the whole school seemed to lose their minds.

‘Well, this is… dramatic.’ Michael said as Troy sang a whole song about how he couldn’t choose between basketball and the musical.

‘This part is actually kind of interesting.’ Alex said, tone a little careful. It made Michael pause. ‘People say that this is kind of a song about bisexuality. He doesn’t just want to play basketball, he doesn’t just want to do musical. He wants to know why he can’t like both.’

Michael blinked. Well that was a thing.

‘That’s… not bad actually.’ Michael said and he allowed himself to stare at Alex’s satisfied smile for just a beat longer then he normally would. Was this Alex giving hints?

The silence between them stretched on for a while. Michael started to pay less and less attention to the movie and more and more to Alex. Who, when Michael started paying attention, seemed to be glancing at his phone on the table at least once every thirty seconds. He lasted for about ten minutes.

‘Alex?’ Alex’s head snapped towards him.

‘Yeah?’

‘Are you okay?’ Alex’s reaction to the question hurt. He sort of flinched, paused and then shook his head. Michael realized that Alex’s carefully constructed mask had been cracking. That’s what he’d picked up on. It had probably been cracking since Alex first called him. ‘What’s wrong?’ Michael asked.

‘I didn’t make the team.’ Alex rushed the words out.

‘Oh, that sucks, but you’ll be in Providence right?’ Michael asked, he didn’t really seethe huge deal. 19 year olds usually didn’t make the main roster right away. Even massive talents like Alex were usually sent to Providence first, usually because of contractual reasons.

‘Yeah sure, but I just- well- I- haven’t told my f-family yet.’

‘You think they’ll be disappointed.’ Michael tried, Alex didn’t show that that was it exactly but he nodded.

‘Yeah, I guess.’ Alex said. ‘Like I said, my dad gets overbearing. I just think he’s going to be upset, and I don’t want that.’

‘Well, what did the coaches say exactly?’

‘That they thought I had a great training camp, that they think I’m going to be a great NHL player, and that if they need a forward I’m the first they’re calling up, but that right now they have too many guys under contract that they want to keep around and they can move me to and from Providence, but not them.’ Alex explained and it pretty much confirmed what Michael had been thinking.

‘Yeah so basically, if one of those fourth liners hadn’t been there right now, you’d have made the team.’

‘I guess.’

‘No, that’s what they’re telling you.’ Michael paused. ‘It’s hockey Alex, players get hurt. I wouldn’t be surprised if you get called up in the first two weeks.’

‘Maybe.’ Alex said, but he looked a little more relaxed then before. He still didn’t seem inclined to grab his phone and call his family right there and then, but he looked calmer. Their conversation just sort of died out there and they continued to half-watch as Troy and Gabriella figured their shit out (sort of) and they had a giant group number about all of them being in this (Michael was unclear on what the “this” was) together.

‘Wait, so we don’t even get to see the damn musical?’ Michael asked as the credits started to roll. ‘Like, I get that they can’t show us a full length show, but not even the freaking curtain call or anything? Do we even know what they were auditioning for?’ Alex laughed, and hit pause on his laptop.

‘The musical wasn’t really the point.’

‘It was the friends we made along the way?’ Michael asked sarcastically. ‘It’s called _High School Musical_ I was kind of expecting a _musical_.’

‘They did sing all sorts of dramatic songs in hallways with dance numbers that everyone seemed to magically know the choreography to.’ Alex shrugged and Michael had to give him that one.

‘Okay fine, but still.’

‘Sure.’

‘You were right though, I don’t think it’s as bad as I thought it was going to be.’ Michael admitted, despite that a whole lot of the plot could have been resolved much quicker and easier if the kids in that school hadn’t been completely insane, it wasn’t as terrible as he’d imagined.

‘See, I told you.’ Alex smiled. ‘Now, part two and three are… interesting as well, but those are for another time.’ Michael very much liked the idea of there being a next time, because if Alex was going to have to start the season in Providence, Michael wasn’t going to see him much, if at all.

‘Sounds good.’ Michael checked the time. It was almost ten thirty. ‘Isn’t it way past your bedtime?’

‘Yeah, a little, but I wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyways, so it doesn’t matter much.’ Alex shrugged before stretching his arms over his head. Michael could hear some joints pop.

‘You plan on calling home today?’ Michael asked carefully. Alex didn’t tense up as much this time.

‘Nah, I’ll call tomorrow.’ He said, he turned to Michael, looking at him carefully. ‘You know, you could stay here tonight.’ Michael must have done something weird with his face because Alex laughed softly. ‘I have a spare room. That way you don’t have to walk home, it’s cold outside.’

Michael was going to politely decline, he really was. He was trying to slow this whole crush down. Sleeping next door to Alex was not going to do that any good. The promise of sleeping in a real bed though, was incredibly tempting. The apartment was nice and cosy, not too warm, but just warm enough to make Michael want to just close his eyes and nod off for a bit.

In the end, it was the genuine concern and kindness in Alex’s face that made Michael cave.

‘Alright. Thank you.’

‘It’s no problem.’ Alex said. ‘Come on, I think I have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom.’

Sure enough, Alex did. It was weirdly comfortable, standing next to Alex in the small bathroom, brushing their teeth. Michael felt like it should have been weird.

Michael might have asked for some sweatpants to sleep in, but the idea of wearing Alex’s clothes made him feel a lot of weird things in his stomach, so he didn’t.

The spare room didn’t contain much more then a bed and a bedside table, but it was more than Michael had at the moment and the bed looked comfortable.

‘So, at what time do you need to be up tomorrow?’ Alex asked, he was hovering in the doorway, like he wasn’t sure where to go.

‘I don’t have to work tomorrow. You?’

‘I have practice in Warrior at ten, and I was planning on hitting the gym before that. But you can just sleep in if you’d like. There’s breakfast in the fridge and if you just pull the door shut behind you when you want to leave, it’ll be fine.’ Michael wasn’t sure what to do with this. With someone going out of their way to make him comfortable.

‘Um, thank you.’

‘No problem, Michael.’ Alex smiled. ‘Sleep tight.’

‘Sleep tight.’ Michael echoed and Alex pulled the door shut behind him. Michael stripped to his boxers and crawled under the blankets. They were warm and soft and Michael was asleep before he even knew it.


	3. Until gravity is too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael sees more then he bargained for, Alex has some great coffee and Mama DeLuca is a saint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This chapter is a little slower, but I really wanted to introduce the Alex/Liz/Maria friendship, because Alex needs more friends.  
> Another thing you should know is that I love Kyle and I'm not always going to be nice to Max, because Max isn't always nice to me.  
> Jesse Manes will be showing up (in person) at some point again, but not right now. He's busy being an asshole to other people, and I kind of like him as this looming figure in the back of Alex' mind.  
> I'm going to be trying to update every three to four days, but I'm not making any promises.
> 
> I think there was more that I wanted to say, but I've forgotten.

Alex woke up when his alarm started screeching at him. He woke up like he always did, sudden and immediately. Alex had always thought it was a genetic thing, his family had been in the Airforce for so many generations at this point, he figured it was ingrained in him to wake up and be ready to fight. But it may also have something to do with his fear of waking up with his father’s hands around his throat.

He sighed as he shut off his alarm and slipped out of bed. He ran a hand over his face, attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. 7 am wasn’t even that early, but it had been later then usual last night and-

 _Michael_. Alex stuttered to a halt. Had he actually done that yesterday? Had he really invited Michael over just to watch a movie and distract Alex from his impending panic attack? Yeah, he had. It had worked too, Michael’s warm smile and sharp wit had distracted Alex from what was, undoubtedly going to be an unpleasant conversation. Unpleasant was probably an understatement.

He needed to move past that though. He’d planned on going to the gym, then training and then call his father. But maybe he should change the order around. His head was so full with the impending doom over calling his dad, he’d probably be useless in training. Then again, if the call went bad, and it was going to, would that make it any better? He should have called yesterday. He should have been brave. He should not have been such a coward.  

He moved through the apartment quietly as he made himself some breakfast, because he had to, not because he was hungry, got dressed, made sure to wear a jacket and headed towards the gym a block away from his apartment. The chill in the air really was getting more noticeable. He was glad he’d been able to convince Michael to stick around last night. From what Alex had understood from Max, Michael’s apartment was a bit further away then he’d made it seem. So Alex had used his best puppy dog eyes and Michael had caved.

The gym was boring. As it usually was. He could have used the gym at Warrior, the Bruins training facility, but the regime that his father had made for him was fairly rigorous and he didn’t want people from the Bruins looking over his shoulder, for now. By the time he’d finished, he was sweaty and his shoulders ached. His session in the gym took about an hour and when he walked back, he noticed the chill hadn’t really left the air yet. So the whole _winter is coming_ actually seemed to be true, and not just the dramatics of Bostonian Game of Thrones fan’s.

When he arrived back at the apartment at about a quarter to nine. He wanted to take a shower, but the bathroom was right next to the guest room. Everything was right next to each other in the apartment, but that wasn’t the point. The door was still closed, so it seemed like Michael was still sleeping. It was his day off, Alex really didn’t want to wake him. So he decided to wait until at least nine. That was a reasonable time right? He should call his dad. He had the time now.

Alex picked up his phone from where he’d put it on the kitchen counter. He had a message from Kyle.

_Kyle Valenti: Hey kid, heard you’re going to start the season in Providence. Don’t worry about it. You’ll be playing with the big boys soon enough._

It was funny to Alex how Kyle, snarky, troublemaker Kyle texted with perfect grammar and punctuation. He supposed that’s where his nickname of Doctor came in. Kyle was a contradiction. Part of him seemed like your typical guy that had been really popular in high school, because he was hot and his dad was an NHL coach, but at the same time, he was very smart and when it came down to it, he could be cool and clinical in the most high pressure situations.

Alex also appreciated him trying to reassure him. Hearing almost the same thing from two different people was encouraging. It didn’t mean his dad would agree, but at least _they_ had faith.

_Thanks Doc. I guess I’ll see you soon then? Have fun in China, don’t fall off The Great Wall._

Alex replied. Kyle, Max and a whole bunch more of the Bruins players were heading to China for a week to promote hockey over there. They’d arrive back a week before opening day, which was in two weeks.  

That wasn’t why he’d grabbed his phone though. The entered his father’s number, but he paused over the dial button. He didn’t want to do this, but the longer he waited, the more likely it was his father would see the official opening day roster before Alex could tell him, and that seemed worse. Maybe he should just wait until Michael left. This didn’t seem like a conversation to have with your crush sleeping in the next room.

His crush.

Time to take a shower. Alex didn’t need this right now. He shouldn’t be focussing on how he wanted to run his hands through Michael’s curls, or how he wanted to know if his hands felt as nice as they looked, or if his skin was as warm as it seemed. He should be focussing on convincing his dad he didn’t need to move to Boston to _keep an eye on Alex_ , and that he didn’t need another lesson in how important this opportunity was. He needed to convince his dad he was working as hard as possible. He needed to breathe.

He made himself take slow breaths as he moved into the bathroom. He ditched all his clothes and turned on the shower. As soon as he could, Alex dunked his head under the warm water. He was trying to drown out his own thoughts. The warm spray felt unimaginably good on his aching shoulders. The steam that filled the shower seemed to fog up his brain as well.

He stood there for a few minutes, just letting himself breathe. He’d lost all concept of what time it was. That kind of thing tended to happen when he was freaking out about his father. Last night, when he’d told Michael what was bothering him, he’d almost said he was afraid of his father’s reaction instead of his _family’s_ reaction. In his fatigue and nerves, he’d almost said something he never wanted to tell anyone. People were going to think he was weak. When he was a kid, maybe people would have felt bad for him. But now? He was a grown ass man. He was probably stronger then his father at this point, and yet he would end up cowering in a corner if his father as much as snapped at him.

Alex turned the shower off in a harsh movement and shoved the doors of the shower open. The cold air that hit him in the face was good. It could snap him from this stupid spiral he was letting himself go down. He needed to get a fucking hold of himself. He grabbed his towel and dried off with quick precise movements, learnt through years of showering at sport clubs.  

‘Shit.’ Alex cursed under his breath. He hadn’t brought any clean clothes. He wrapped the towel around his waist and went for the door. Michael was probably still asleep anyways. He peeked around the door of the bathroom and sure enough, the door to the guestroom was still closed. So Alex started making his way to his room.

‘Good morn-‘ Alex froze. Michael was standing in the kitchen, dressed in the clothes he’d been wearing yesterday. The look on his face was hard to describe. At first he looked surprised, then there was a beat of appreciative as his eyes moved over Alex’s chest, which quickly disappeared behind a blush and him looking away.

‘Sorry.’ Alex said quickly. ‘I hadn’t realized you were up.’ He quickly started moving to his room. Alex could feel his face burning and he knew he was blushing. He shut the door behind himself with much more force then necessary and pressed his back into it.

Holy shit. Alex wasn’t going to be able to get that look out of his head. He knew there was a thing here. Alex felt it, and he knew Michael felt something too, but he hadn’t been prepared to see it written all over Michael’s face like that. He really hadn’t been prepared to see the _want_ on Michael’s ridiculously pretty face. He needed to get out of here. He needed to get dressed and go hit some things on the ice, because if he didn’t, he was going to do something as stupid as go back out there and kiss him.

Alex startled himself back into motion, going through the movements of getting dressed without thinking about it. This morning had been too much of a whirlwind between hot and cold. His time with Michael made him feel hot in ways that terrified him, and not just in the “I want to rip your clothes off, get over here” way, also in the way that settled something warm in Alex’s chest. Something that made Alex want to drown himself in Michael. On the other hand, all thoughts of interaction with his father were met with an icy cold feeling in his heart. He knew what was coming and everything in him told him to run. To pack his stuff and just go.

But go where?

Sometimes Alex wished he could have just joined the Airforce, like his brothers. That way he’d have had a reason to leave the US, he could have gotten away from his father’s reach. He could have died a hero.

No. He didn’t want to die. He wanted to play hockey, he wanted to live, he wanted to survive his father. Alex looked down at himself. He’d gotten dressed and it seemed like he hadn’t chosen anything particularly awful. Now, he had to go face Michael.

‘Um Alex?’ Michael’s tentative voice at his door stopped him dead in his tracks.

‘Yeah?’ Alex coughed, trying to clear the awkwardness from his throat.

‘Do you mind if I shower?’ Michael sounded as painfully awkward as Alex felt.

‘No, go ahead. There’s a clean towel in the cabinet.’ Alex called back, squeezing his eyes shut in a hopeless prayer that his voice wouldn’t crack.

‘Thanks.’ Michael answered.

‘Oh, Michael?’ Alex wanted to punch himself for opening his mouth again.

‘Yeah?’

‘If you want to borrow a clean shirt or something, you can borrow one of mine.’ Alex said, toes curling.

‘Oh, thanks. I might take you up on that.’ Michael answered and Alex, cowardly, waited until he heard the bathroom door close before he emerged from his room. He checked the clock. Nine thirty, that meant he could justify leaving. He grabbed all his stuff, shoes, phone, keys, access card and jacket, he debated leaving a note for Michael, but he bailed out. He’d just text him.

 _Hey, I’m heading out. Take your time, just pull the door closed behind you._ Alex hesitated. _Thanks for listening yesterday._ He added and hit send before he could change his mind. Then he rushed out of the door. The trip to Warrior was one he could walk and he was planning on walking it until it got too cold.

The others that were going to be playing for Providence to start the season were almost all around Alex’s age. Ranging from about eighteen to early twenties. They were all nice enough, but Alex could tell they all had the general air of disappointment about them, the one that Alex wasn’t sure he was hiding well enough either.

Training was fine. The coach was nice, and seemed to have experience working with young guys. He let them play five on five for a bit, just playing around. He also made them run the regular drills and do sprints. Alex hated sprints. Objectively, he knew they were useful, but god he hated them. In a game, when your adrenaline was up and the stakes were high, Alex never felt the burn of having to squeeze out a final sprint to stop an opponent break away, but in training? When coach made them do “just five more”, Alex hated him, with passion.

Alex didn’t make an effort to really get to know any of the guys around him, and he regretted it immediately. He didn’t mean to isolate himself. It was just so easy. Alex was social, but he’d always done better when someone approached him first. Like Kyle, and Michael. When people approached him, at least he was fairly certain they weren’t going to laugh in his face when he attempted to talk to them.

When he stepped out of Warrior, he knew he couldn’t avoid his dad any longer. He’d been wrong about the looming call distracting him in training, it had been the other way around. The training had allowed him to distract himself from the call. But now he couldn’t avoid it anymore, he had to call him now, before he heard the news from somewhere else and he _really_ lost his shit.

So before he could bail out again, he dialled his father’s number. It rang four times before his father answered.

‘Yes?’ Alex made his feet start moving. Walking and talking at the same time. He could do that.

‘Hey dad.’ Alex said. ‘I just wanted to give you an update on how things were going here.’

‘Have they announced the roster yet?’ His dad asked, he had that tone of voice that told him he knew Alex wasn’t saying something and that he wasn’t about to let him get away with it.

‘Yeah.’ Alex breathed out. Just say it. He’s half way across the country, he can’t hurt you. ‘I have to start the season in Providence, but they told me the moment they need a forward I’m the first they’re calling up.’ Alex rushed out, trying to get his point across. His dad’s silence was even worse then if he’d gotten angry. ‘They have too many guys under contract right now, so they can’t fit me in, but it’s hockey, players get hurt all the time.’

‘Yes. They do.’ His father’s tone was so cold it made a shiver run down Alex’s spine. ‘I thought I told you to do better.’

‘You did.’

‘Well?’

‘I’m trying.’

‘Try harder.’ His father snapped. ‘I am busy and I don’t have time to come visit you right now. You’re wearing my name on the back of your jersey Alex, you better make sure I don’t regret not having you join the Airforce. I don’t care how you do it, but you are going to get yourself on the main roster.’ His father hung up the phone before Alex could say anything. He didn’t say “or else” but it was there. It was in his tone. In the veiled threat of a visit. In the implication Alex would have been less of a disappointment dying for his country.

Alex felt a little numb, walking the last block home. That seemed to be another side effect of phone calls with his father. It wasn’t until he was walking up to his apartment complex that he realized he completely ignored his texts. He checked Kyle’s first, he saw the notification that Michael had replied as well, but he was saving that for last. He knew he’d paused in the middle of the sidewalk, so he stepped towards the building. Texting and driving was a horrible idea, but so was texting and walking. Alex had a wonderful story about his head and a lamppost colliding.

_Kyle Valenti: Don’t tell me what to do! If I want to jump off the Great Wall of China, I damn well can._

Alex laughed, out loud, in public while looking at his phone. He felt like a moron.

_Alright, I guess I’ll have a spot on the team sooner than I thought._

Alex answered, still unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face. If Michael didn’t manage to calm him down, Kyle did. He was just so unapologetically himself almost all the time, and he made Alex feel like it was okay to do the same. After he hit send, it was time to allow himself to check Michael’s message.

_Michael Guerin: It was no problem. I had fun. Hope it all works out with your family, let me know yeah?_

Alex blinked at his phone for a few seconds. He wasn’t sure why he felt emotional all of the sudden. Why did this kid with his big eyes and his golden curls make him feel this way?

_Called my dad, he was disappointed, but he’ll get over it._

Alex lied, he needed a second. It was surprisingly difficult for him to deal with people being nice to him, worrying about him.

_And yeah I had fun too. Let’s not be strangers._

He added. Maybe it was a dumb thing to do, maybe he should be keeping his distance, with his father’s threat lingering in his ears, but he was so tired of letting his father ruin everything that made him happy. He would just keep it a secret.

‘Alex?’ Alex searched for the source of his name and blinked as he found long dark hair and soulful eyes looking back at him.

‘Liz, hi.’ Alex said when he put two and two together.

‘Hey. Are you okay? You look a little spaced out.’ Liz asked with a kind smile.

‘Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.’ Alex said, it wasn’t a lie per se. He was _physically_ fine, and he did have a lot on his mind.

‘Understandable. Up for some coffee?’ She asked and Alex blinked, a little confused where the invitation was coming from. She had seemed nice when they’d first met a week and a half ago, but they hadn’t exactly talked much. All he knew was that she was studying at Harvard, and he only knew that because Michael told him.

‘Uh sure.’ Alex said, he didn’t really know why he said yes. Maybe it was the idea of talking to someone about something other than hockey, and also not wanting to kiss the person he was talking to.

‘Great. I’m meeting Maria, but I’m sure she won’t mind if I bring you along.’ That name also rung a bell.

‘Maria DeLuca?’ Alex asked.

‘Ah, you’ve met her?’ Liz smiled as she motioned him along. He started following her automatically.

‘Yeah, first day of training camp.’ He said, speeding up a few steps to keep up with her.

‘Ah yes, she likes to scope out the new players. She’s got to know what she’s PRing that season.’ Liz said, shrugging. It didn’t say much good about Alex’s mental state that he only now noticed the two heavy books she was carrying under her arm.

‘I don’t think that’s a word.’ He replied automatically. She grinned at him.

‘It’s not, but it sounds funny.’ They arrived at what seemed like a tiny little coffee shop. Alex must have walked past it several times, but he had never realized it was there. The sign above the door read: _DeLuca’s Delicious Coffee_

‘Nice.’ Alex grinned, nodding at the sign.

‘I know. I like it too. DeLuca’s Delicious, it has a nice ring to it.’ Liz agreed as she pushed the door open. The place was nice and cosy, just on the right side of warm. A seemingly random collection of different little tables and chairs, none matching, were scattered around the small space. It was very quiet, but it smelt heavenly.

‘Liz!’ Maria DeLuca was sitting at a little, round, rusty red coloured table in the corner, waving enthusiastically. Her eyes paused on Alex for a second, and then she smiled even wider. ‘And Alex!’

‘She remembers your name, that’s a good sign.’ Liz said softly as they started heading for the table.

‘Hey Maria.’ Liz hugged Maria tightly over the tiny table. Alex felt awkward. He didn’t know these two that well, how was he supposed to greet her?

‘Alex. Come here.’ Maria made the decision for him. She hugged him, much more casually then she had hugged Liz, but firmly and with a warm pat on his back. When he pulled back he must have looked a little surprised. ‘You looked like you needed a hug.’

‘She does that sometimes, don’t worry about it.’ Liz shrugged as she dragged a third chair from a nearby table and sat down. Alex still felt a little shaken. He forced himself to smile and sit down.

‘Do you two do this often?’ Alex asked, he had no idea Liz and Maria even knew each other.

‘We try to, especially now that the season hasn’t started yet.’ Maria said. ‘We met through the restaurant, obviously, and because Evans had a huge crush on my girl here, I decided to help the poor guy out. In the process, we became friends.’

‘Ah, that makes sense.’ He nodded. ‘And Michael told me you’re studying at Harvard?’ He asked Liz, her face lit up.

‘Yes, I’m studying law. I want to be a prosecutor.’ Liz said with clear pride in her voice.  

‘Yep, my girl is going to fight the good fight. Take on the rich and powerful with the power of her giant brain.’ Maria said, equally proud.

‘That’s great. Putting the bad guys in jail huh? You and Max make a good pair.’ Liz looked at him questioningly. ‘We call Max Deputy, because he’s always so serious, and gets annoyed when we break the rules.’ Alex shrugged. Maria laughed.

‘The Deputy? Oh that’s good. Tell me more.’ She leant forward.

‘Well-‘ Alex was interrupted by a woman approaching them. She was clearly Maria’s mother. She had kind eyes and slightly messy deep brown hair.

‘Hello girls. Who is your new friend?’ She asked, reaching out to Alex. She motioned for his hand. Alex held it out to her, figuring she was going to shake it. She didn’t, she flipped his hand over and studied his palm.

‘Mom.’ Maria said with a quiet exhaustion.

‘Oh, my boy. You have so much tragedy in your past.’ Alex froze as Maria’s mother started to speak. ‘But things are taking a turn now. You are at the most important crossroads of your life. You have a cosmic connection with someone, and you need to believe in that.’

‘Mom.’ Maria said again, softly removing her mother’s hands from Alex. ‘I’m sorry.’ She said to Alex, clearly waiting for his reaction.

‘No. It’s fine, don’t apologize. It’s nice to meet you ma’am, I’m Alex Manes.’ Alex assured Maria. Her mother was clearly not one hundred percent there anymore. That didn’t mean his voice didn’t come out shaky as hell. Her comments had hit way too close to home. Not even too close to home, she was right. Completely right.

‘Nice to meet you boy, you can call me Mimi. Would you like something to drink?’ Mimi asked.

‘I’d like a latte please.’ Alex said, and Mimi smiled kindly at him before moving back to the bar. He realized she hadn’t asked for Liz or Maria’s orders, but he figured they were regulars.

‘She likes you.’ Maria commented, studying him closely. Alex still felt a little shaken. She’d said his connection with _someone_ was cosmic. _Cosmic._ That sounded like soulmate kind of shit. Alex wasn’t even sure if he believed in that stuff. ‘That doesn’t happen much.’ The pause after Maria’s words was just a little too long to be comfortable.

‘She has early onset dementia.’ Liz explained. ‘But she’s always right when it comes to people.’ She smiled. ‘Been on any dates recently Alex?’ Liz was clearly trying to clear the slightly awkward tension from the air. She couldn’t know that was not the right thing to ask about.

‘No, not really.’ He said, not able to keep the slightly defensive tone from his voice. Liz titled her head.

‘Really? No dinner dates since that night with Michael?’ Maria’s head snapped towards him.

‘Michael Guerin?’ Maria’s head snapped back to Liz. ‘Michael “smells like a dirty bar, looks like a baby angel cherub” Guerin?’

‘Michael doesn’t smell like a dirty bar.’ Alex said before he even realized it. Now both women were staring at him. ‘What?’

‘Do you have a thing with Michael?’ Liz asked, far too much enthusiasm in her voice.

‘What? No.’ Alex said firmly. ‘We don’t have _a thing_ , we’re friends. I’m defending my friend.’

‘That’s nice, Guerin needs more friends his age.’ Maria said, seemingly letting the topic go. ‘He only ever hangs out with Sanders or Evans, and I don’t even think they count as friends.’

‘They don’t? Aren’t they brothers?’ Alex asked, he really should stop showing this much interest in anything involving Michael, but it was hard when he just wanted to know everything about him.

‘Yeah, for all intents and purposes, but that means they act like brothers, which I wouldn’t consider friends. You have brothers right?’ Maria asked.

‘Yeah, three of them.’ Alex said, hoping that she wouldn’t ask much further.

‘Would you call any of them your friend?’ Alex didn’t even have to think about it really.

‘No.’

‘Exactly. Siblings spend way too much time together to really be friends.’ Maria concluded. Alex nodded slowly. Alex could hear footsteps coming closer and sure enough Mimi appeared with a three coffee’s. Alex ended up with a cappuccino instead of a latte, but he didn’t mind, they both had milk in them. 

‘Thank you ma’am.’  Alex said, smiling warmly at her, he had decided he liked her, as much as she scared him.

‘I like this one. You should keep him.’ She told Maria, patting her on the head. ‘I like him much better then the other one.’ She wondered off.

‘She met this other prospect the other day. O’Hare, she didn’t like him.’

‘The one that the B’s traded to Ottawa?’ Alex asked, frowning.

‘Yeah that one.’ Maria confirmed.

‘Well, I agree with your mother.’ Alex said. O’Hare was a piece of work. Loud-mouthed and smart assed, with no regard for boundaries. Alex had only been around him for the duration of training camp and he had wanted to punch him several times.

‘Oh yes, you weren’t the only one. Why do you think they traded him all the way to Canada?’ Liz laughed at the face Maria made.

‘If Mama DeLuca says they have to go, they have to go.’ Liz shrugged.

‘The Oracle of Boston.’ Alex said before he could think about it. He didn’t get the chance to freak out, if his joke would land or not, because both Liz and Maria burst out laughing.

‘That’s good!’ Liz hiccupped. ‘Or, The Oracle of Bruins prospects, but that really doesn’t have as much of a ring to it.’

‘No, but it is technically more accurate.’ Alex admitted.

‘True.’

For the next hour, Alex allowed himself to forget about his father and his apparent _cosmic_ connection to Michael. He told some stories of his time growing up (only the good ones, obviously), and listened and laughed as Maria nearly cried her way through a story over a hilariously terrible date she’d been on. Liz told them about a hilariously terrible date she’d witnessed at the restaurant and before Alex knew it, an hour had gone by.

‘I should really head home.’ Alex admitted and both Liz and Maria made disappointed noises.

‘No.’ Liz dragged the word out dramatically. ‘Don’t leave us.’ Alex laughed.

‘Sorry, I have shit to do.’ He didn’t, but he really just wanted to get some rest, be alone for a bit. Alex took out his wallet and dropped ten dollars on the table.

‘Alright, fine, but we are doing this again soon.’ Maria said sternly and Alex nodded, equally serious. ‘Now, come here.’ Maria motioned with her arms and Alex rolled his eyes, but hugged her.

‘Me too!’ Liz grinned and she made grabby hands at Alex, who made a valiant attempt not to smile through his sigh.

‘Okay, okay.’ Alex said, stepping back from the table. ‘I’m going now. Bye miss DeLuca!’ He called towards the bar.

‘See you soon, boy.’ She replied with an easy wave.

Alex stepped out from the coffee shop feeling much more relaxed then he had before he went in. He started to make his way in the direction of his apartment. Time to head home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me squeal with delight :D


	4. I'll do anything you say, if you say it with your hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael regrets his career choice, Kyle is the MVP and Alex tells a story about... a fish?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! 
> 
> I had kind of a hard time writing a particular scene in this (no spoilers) but I hope I balanced it well enough. Whatever, I'm posting it either way. 
> 
> I realized it's probably good to clarify that they're all human in this story? No aliens, just plain old humans and their truckloads of secrets. 
> 
> I also realized there will be a lot of cursing in this, I'm a little late with that warning, I know. But especially when we get into the hockey stuff... players curse. When they get mic'd up, they usually have to bleep about every other word, so yeah. 
> 
> My Word document has reached over 40 pages, which is insane for me, but I'm still having fun! I am just having such a wonderful time with this story and I wanted to thank all of you for your comments! This is the most comments I've ever had on a story and they make me so damn happy it's ridiculous!

Abs. Eight of them. Eight defined abs covered by that smooth, warm looking skin. Eight abs that Michael wanted to _lick_. And it wasn’t just the abs. It was the shoulders too, the pecs, the arms. Michael knew that hockey players were fit. They had to be. He just hadn’t ever looked at a hockey player like he looked at Alex before.

There had been a scar too. A scar Michael hadn’t necessarily expected. He’d only caught a glimpse of it, on Alex’s back. It had been an ugly looking round mark, fairly small, but noticeable in how violent it looked. Michael wondered how he got it.

It had been a week. A goddamn week. A week of texting, but not seeing Alex and he still couldn’t get him wearing nothing but a towel out of his head. It was ridiculous.

At first, Michael had been terrified that he’d scared Alex off with the way he’d undoubtedly looked at him. He knew he hadn’t hidden the wave of _want_ well enough, and he’d felt like Alex was avoiding him. At least, that day. He’d spend the rest of it trying to figure out an excuse to start another conversation with Alex, say something to apologize, or make it up to him without full on admitting his giant sized crush.

But he hadn’t been able to come up with something, so he said nothing. And when Alex had texted him the next day, continuing their text conversation about the first season of Game of Thrones (Michael had been horrified to find out Alex had never seen it before), he’d just gone with it.

Even though Michael was trying to tamper his hope, he couldn’t deny Alex hadn’t really given off a vibe that he was repulsed by the way Michael looked at him. If anything, he’d seemed as shaken as Michael had and-

‘Michael?’ Sanders asked, Michael realized he’d stopped sorting the clothing pile, the Bruins had brought back a ridiculous amount of laundry from China.

‘I’m fine.’ He was not fine.

‘Kid, what is going on with you?’ Sanders asked, not unkindly but firmly. ‘You’ve been off all week.’

‘There’s really nothing.’ Michael insisted.

‘Do you miss it?’ Sanders asked, and for a second Michael was confused as to what he was talking about.

‘Hockey?’ Michael asked and Sanders nodded. ‘Uh, yeah. I do miss it.’

‘How did you hurt your hand again?’ Sanders asked casually, turning away from Michael to grab another pair of gloves and put them in their right place. Michael knew he’d never told Sanders this, but it was a nice try.

‘Got into a fight with a Leprechaun and lost.’ Michael shrugged.

‘Right.’ Sanders said, the man was probably going to let the topic go, for now, but Michael knew the more he avoided talking about it, the more Sanders was going to ask. Avoiding a question around Sanders really was just putting of the inevitable. The man had the patience of a saint.

Michael pushed himself to start moving again. This was the part of his job that Michael found very boring. He liked being close to the action, close to the sport, even though it hurt sometimes. He got to travel with the team, another plus. But this, sifting through a massive pile of laundry, sorting clothes, gloves, sticks and skates, that part was boring as hell.

‘Hey Guerin.’ Michael looked up to find Kyle Valenti smiling at him.  

‘What do you want Valenti?’ Michael asked. ‘I don’t have any hair gel laying around if that’s what you’re looking for.’ He liked to snipe at Valenti for putting so much effort into his appearance. He looked ridiculous with his perfect hair and his artful stubble. He was a hockey player, he was supposed to look tough and scary, not like a fashion model that got lost and somehow ended up on the ice. Not that most players didn’t look like that these days.

‘I can see that.’ Valenti smirked back, and Michael rolled his eyes. He knew his hair was a mess, it always was. There was nothing he could do about it. Well, that wasn’t true, he just didn’t want to. ‘I was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner.’ Michael frowned, immediately suspicious.

‘What?’

‘What, _what_?’

‘You never ask me to come hang out. Is this a trick?’ Valenti rolled his eyes.

‘Calm down Guerin. A bunch of us are going to Ortecho’s and Evans mentioned you might want to come, so here I am, being nice, inviting you along.’ Valenti gestured with his hands.

‘I don’t know, there’s still a lot of work to do here-’ Michael started, he was going to say no, but Sanders interrupted him.

‘You should go, Michael. You’ve been working really hard this week. I’ll get Martin to help me with the rest.’ He turned to Valenti. ‘Unless you were planning on inviting him along too?’

‘Nope.’ Valenti smiled annoyingly. ‘Plus, I’ve also invited Alex Manes, you get along with him right?’

‘The prospect?’ Sanders asked, giving Michael a few seconds to get his immediate rush of _yes_ , under control.

‘Yeah, he’s cool, I like him.’ Valenti said and then turned to look at Michael expectantly. ‘You two can babble about science and shit and I won’t have to pretend to know what you’re talking about.’

‘Fine. I’ll come.’ Michael said, pushing himself off the bench. He was quite proud that he didn’t _leap_ out of the door at the mere mention of getting to see Alex in person. Even though it was probably going to be awkward. After all, the last time they’d seen each other Michael had been gawking at Alex’s abs.

‘Thanks Mister S.’ Valenti said, before heading out of the door before Michael.

‘Go have some fun kid, you deserve it.’ Sanders said, before waving Michael out of the door.

Michael followed Valenti through the building as they headed towards the front. They arrived in the lobby, a few guys were waiting there already.

‘Where the hell is your coat Guerin?’ Valenti asked when he turned around to look at Michael, frown on his face.

‘It’s right here dickhead.’ Michael rolled his eyes as Jim, the security guard, handed Michael his coat. They kept it behind the front desk because Michael always lost it if he put it down somewhere in the building. He still wasn’t used to needing a coat, alright.

‘Michael, be nice.’ Max came walking up to him from the right, he was frowning in that annoying “Michael what are you doing now?” kind of way.

‘Yeah Michael, be nice.’ Valenti parroted and Michael clenched his jaw.

‘Shut up Valenti.’

‘Kyle, you’re not bullying Michael are you?’ The voice that stopped Valenti from replying almost made Michael sigh in relief.

‘Alex!’ Valenti smiled brightly, shouldering past Max to hug him. Michael didn’t feel a sharp stab of jealousy. He totally didn’t, that would have been ridiculous.

When Valenti let him go, and that really took way too long, Michael could finally look at Alex. The first thing Michael noticed was the purple bruise on the side of Alex’s face. He frowned.

‘What the hell happened to your face, Manes?’ Michael asked, probably a lot sharper then he meant to.

‘Got elbowed during practice, it’s fine.’ Alex shrugged, he seemed to hesitate minutely, but then stepped into Michael’s space and gave him a quick hug. It was nothing overtly friendly, it was probably even appropriate for how much they’d seen each other and yet Michael still felt like he was reeling. The firm press of Alex’s solid body against his was something he’d dreamed about far too much over the last week. He also noticed how soft Alex’s sweater was, and how _good_ that dark green colour looked on him.

‘You did punch the guy right?’ Michael asked. He didn’t have to force a grin as Alex rolled his eyes at him.

‘No Michael, I did not punch him. Violence isn’t always the solution.’ Alex said, sighing as he did.

‘But sometimes it is.’ Kyle said and Michael didn’t miss the way Alex swallowed before answering, still making a valiant effort to go for banter, but not quite hitting the mark.

‘Yeah, sometimes it is.’ Michael blinked at him.

He didn’t get to ask. He probably wouldn’t have asked even if got the chance. It seemed like something personal. Not something to be discussed in a group of seven nosy hockey players. They seemed to work best that way, when it was just the two of them. Not that they’d exactly tested this hypotheses much, but Michael knew _he_ felt most comfortable when it was just him and Alex. It was like he felt safe with Alex, he wasn’t sure why, but he felt like they understood each other on a level most people never came close to.

This was all completely batshit insane, of course.

How well did they _really_ know each other after all? They just seemed to have a _connection_.

‘For fuck’s sake Guerin, where’s your head at?’ Valenti laughed and Michael rolled his eyes so hard it hurt a little. ‘Evans has been trying to get your attention for at least five minutes.’

‘O come on Kyle, the other day, you took fifteen minutes to respond to a text because you kept getting distracted by the birds outside.’ Alex smirked, Michael could almost _feel_ his own eyes light up. Alex was giving him ammunition.

‘Really now, birds?’ Michael grinned, bumping his shoulder against Alex’s who had come to walk next to him.

‘Yeah, birds. He kept going on about how they were so pretty and the colours were so nice and- hmpf-‘ Alex was cut off by Kyle’s hand clamping firmly over his mouth. Michael laughed as Alex jabbed Kyle in the side with an elbow sharply and Kyle let Alex go with a pained gasp.

‘Ow.’ Kyle whined.

‘Oh man, this is just getting better and better.’ Michael grinned. Alex looked at him with a tight smile.

‘Watch your mouth Guerin, you are both acting like toddlers.’ His voice was level, but he didn’t look fine. Physical contact seemed to be very hit and miss with Alex. It seemed like, if he knew it was coming, it was fine, but if you surprised him, he seemed shaken. He was very good at hiding it, Michael had to give him that. He didn’t even think Kyle noticed.

Michael was slowly figuring out that he could read Alex in a way others couldn’t. He had wondered why others didn’t seem to notice how Alex would flinch and tense up in certain specific situations, but he was realizing they simply didn’t see it. Alex was too good of a liar.

He wasn’t sure what that said about him.

They arrived at Ortecho’s and were greeted at the door by the man himself.

‘Michael.’ Mister Ortecho smiled widely as he pulled him into a warm hug. He could hear Alex chuckle behind him as Valenti said something. It was probably annoying. ‘And Alex, right?’ Mister Ortecho simply placed Michael to the side and turned his attention to Alex.

It was kind of adorable to see Alex squirm under the fatherly attention of Mister Ortecho, who immediately zeroed in on Alex’s black eye.

‘Your heart eyes are showing Michael.’ He jumped at Max’s low voice in his ear.

‘What?’ Michael’s voice squeaked in a way it hadn’t in _years_.

‘Liz’ friend, Maria? I see the way you look at her.’ Max said, nodding his head towards his girlfriend, who was standing near a large table with another woman. A woman he recognized. Maria DeLuca, PR manager of the Bruins. They were also standing right behind Alex. Michael had been staring at Alex, but Max thought he was looking at Maria. Shit.

‘What? No. Absolutely not. Maria is the PR manager of the Bruins. I know who she is, I’m not stupid Max. I wasn’t staring at anyone, I was thinking about the awesome tacos I’m going to have.’ Michael lied.

‘Sure.’ Max said, in a tone that made it clear he didn’t believe Michael at all.

‘Fuck.’ Michael whispered as Max left to go say hello to his girlfriend.

Liz Ortecho had, to Michael’s surprise, turned into one of his favourite people. She was opinionated, hot headed, proud and had the strongest moral compass that Michael had ever seen on anyone. She was fearless and kept Max in line, better then even Isobel could.

‘Alex!’ The simultaneous excited exclamation of the two women surprised everyone but Alex, who simply grinned and hugged both Liz _and_ Maria. What?

‘Hey, good to see you.’ Alex said casually. ‘Did you end up finishing that awful book, or did you give up?’ He asked Liz and yet again: What? When did this happen?

‘Oh you little shit, of course I finished it, I wanted to scratch my eyeballs out, but I finished it.’ Liz said and Alex made a face.

‘That sounds…unpleasant.’ He said, titling his head. ‘How’s Mama DeLuca?’ Alex asked Maria, who smiled softly.

‘She’s good. I’m sure she’d like to see you again.’ Maria said, resting her hand on Alex’s arm for a second before moving off to get the other guys to sit down at the table. Liz patted Alex on the shoulder before grabbing Max and heading towards the table as well. Alex turned to look at him, he looked calm and centred.

‘Coming?’ He asked.

‘Yeah.’ Michael said, starting to head in the direction of the table. Alex got there first and settled with Maria on one side and an empty chair on the other. He looked at Michael over his shoulder and patted the empty seat. A clear invitation. He really should go sit next to Max, if he wanted to keep any sort of control over this raging crush on Alex, he shouldn’t spend the next few hours looking at him in the low, warm lighting of the restaurant.

So of course, he sat down next to Alex. Noah came to sit on his other side. Noah was fine. He married Isobel, so Michael figured he was somewhat okay, he just always seemed so…plain. Unassuming, kind of quiet, a little weird sometimes. But then again, he was a goalie. Goalies were always weird.

The tacos were amazing, as usual. _Alex_ was amazing. It was insane how easily he fit between the other players, they seemed to have adopted him already, even though he wasn’t even officially on the Bruins yet. Michael even caught Max smiling at him a few times. Alex just seemed to radiate an easy happiness, he was like sunshine personified when he smiled.

Michael was in way over his head.

‘-no seriously, he _threw the fish at his head_.’ Alex said between laughs. ‘It was insane.’ Valenti was doubled over, clutching at his stomach.

‘Stop, no seriously stop.’ He pleaded, breaking into another fit of laughter. ‘I can’t take it anymore. _His face_.’ Alex looked at Valenti with a self-satisfied smile.

‘I told you I could make you laugh until you cried.’ Alex said, and that made Michael laugh.

‘I told you so? Really Alex, and you call _me_ the toddler?’ The look Alex gave Michael was seriously unimpressed. Michael was having a great time, but he could also feel how he was getting progressively more tired. It was getting harder and harder to stifle the yawns threatening to expose him. It had been a long week and an even longer day spent doing boring things, those always made him most tired. He checked the time on his phone that he’d casually thrown on the table somewhere around his second taco.

‘You okay Michael?’ Alex’s soft voice was clearly only meant for Michael’s ears, it made him feel warm all over.

‘Yeah, just tired.’ Michael admitted, there was something painfully soft in Alex’s face. Like he just wanted to wrap Michael up in a blanket and make him sleep for a day.

‘Maybe you should head home. I’m thinking of leaving soon as well. Early training tomorrow.’ Alex said, he was giving Michael an out. He wanted to kiss him for it. Instead he smiled.

‘Yeah, I think I should probably go. Early day tomorrow.’ Michael said at a normal volume. There were some disappointed noises around him but Michael held up a hand to silence them. ‘Nah, no complaining, I have to get up early because I have to clean up _your mess,_ so unless any of you want to do it?’ The silence that answered him said enough. ‘Didn’t think so.’

‘It was good seeing you Guerin, you spend too much time in that dusty equipment room, you should come out of there more, hang out.’ Valenti said.

‘Shut up Valenti.’ Michael said, but it lacked any of the heat it usually had. As much as he liked to pretend he despised Valenti, he really wasn’t that bad.

‘Sure thing Guerin.’ He replied easily.

‘Just text me what I owe you okay?’ He said, mostly to Max. He pushed himself away from the table, patted people on shoulders in goodbye (making sure to keep his touch to Alex’ shoulder just as casual as with the others) and headed towards the door. He’d see them all soon enough anyways, no need for heartfelt goodbyes. He grabbed his coat from the rack and waved at Mister Ortecho before heading out into the cold night’s air.

It was getting progressively more uncomfortable, sleeping in his truck. He knew he couldn’t keep this up all winter. He’d already spend a winter in Boston and he knew how cold it got, but last winter, he’d still had an apartment. He’d had heating and a proper bed. Fuck he was going to have to talk to Max, wasn’t he?

Shit. He really didn’t want to see the disappointed, judging face he was going to make. The sigh and the “Michael why did you do that?”. He loved Max, he really did, but it would be so nice if he didn’t have that holier then thou attitude all the time. Luckily, Michael’s truck was parked only a block from the restaurant, so he didn’t have time to loose too much of the body heat he’d build up while he was inside. He patted his pockets, looking for his keys, and it made him realize he didn’t feel the familiar rectangular shape of his phone. Fuck, where was it? He turned towards the spot where his truck was parked. He’d just reached the tailgate when he heard it.

‘Michael?’ The voice made him freeze in place. It was Alex. He turned around slowly, giving himself time to get his face under control. Alex looked confused, one hand half way up clutching… Michael’s phone.

‘Oh hey Alex.’ He headed towards him. ‘Thanks, I was just trying to figure out where I left it.’ He said, motioning for the phone. He was going for casual, but everything came out just a little panicked.

‘You left it on the table.’ Alex said, pulling it back out of Michael’s reach just a little. Michael tried for a smile.

‘Okay, thanks. Can I have it back now?’ He asked as Alex kept the phone out of his reach, close to his chest.

‘What are you doing here?’ Alex asked, the little crinkle between his eyebrows showing his suspicion.

‘I was just grabbing my truck to drive home.’ Michael went for confused and getting a little annoyed, he wasn’t sure if it worked, because Alex’s frown got deeper.

‘You parked your truck a block away from Ortecho’s, even though we just walked there from Warrior and you couldn’t have known we were going out for dinner here tonight?’ Alex asked. ‘You expect me to believe that?’

‘I-‘ Michael didn’t know what to say. He felt cornered. Like Alex was hammering at one of his defensive walls and it was cracking, splintering. He couldn’t let Alex figure this out, he didn’t want to see the pity on Alex’s face, that would break him. ‘Relax Manes. I left it here a few days ago, and I’d been too lazy to pick it up, I figured now that I was close, I should probably take it home.’ Alex looked at him, the three heartbeats it took for him to answer were the longest of Michael’s life.

‘You’re a miserable liar Guerin.’ Alex said, he sounded sad. ‘I can see the blankets in your cabin. I’m not blind.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Michael turned back towards his truck. Fuck his phone, Alex could keep it. Michael felt angry and terrified and a teeny tiny bit hopeful. He wanted to take his boot and stomp that tiny spark of hope into smithereens.

‘Guerin!’ Alex snapped, and Michael had never heard him say his last name as much, or in that tone. ‘Are you sleeping in your truck?’ Why did Alex sound so angry? What the hell did he have to be angry over? Was he pissed that he’d befriended a homeless guy? Was he pissed Michael lied to him? Pretended he was a functioning human being when he was really just a giant mess?

‘Yes, okay.’ Michael snapped back. ‘I’m pathetic, I know. I got into a fight with my landlord and he kicked me out three months ago and since then I’ve been sleeping in my truck.’ He turned around to find Alex still looking angry.

‘Then why the hell aren’t you staying in my guestroom?’ Alex asked, throwing his hands to the side.

‘I don’t want your pity, Alex.’ Michael said, and that seemed to make Alex even angrier.

‘Pity? You think I pity you?’ He was full-on yelling now. ‘Fuck you Michael. I don’t pity you, I’m pissed. I’m pissed because we’re supposed to be friends and you’re supposed to be able to ask friends for help when you need it!’ Alex looked desperate in a way that Michael felt. He felt like crying. Desperate for someone to understand, for someone to know him. He wanted to be close to Alex.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said. He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for exactly, but it seemed to deflate Alex.

‘Don’t apologize.’ He sighed. ‘Let’s just take your truck and park it in the garage of my apartment complex.’

‘Alex you really don’t have to-‘ Michael started as Alex headed for his truck.

‘Stop. I’m not going to let you freeze to death just because you’re too proud to ask for help.’

‘I don’t want to be a burden.’ Michael said, but he started following Alex anyways. It seemed like Alex was as stubborn as he was smart.

‘Shut up Guerin.’ Alex said mildly. Walking to the passenger side, he waited for Michael to unlock the car with an impatient expression. Michael paused and stared at Alex for a second. There really was not a shred of pity in Alex’s face. His anger had dissipated as quickly as it had appeared. He just looked tired.

Michael went and unlocked the door, he got in the driver’s seat and closed the door behind him. Alex came to sit next to him in the passenger seat, moving Michael’s blankets into the space between them. It was awkward as hell.  

‘I can pay rent.’ Michael said into the silence. Alex looked over at him.

‘Just drive, Michael.’ So Michael did. He headed in the direction of the apartment.

As much as he felt guilty, felt like a burden, it was also extremely nice to have someone tell him what to do about his mess of a life. He hadn’t known what to do about the fast approaching winter, he _had_ feared going to sleep one night and simply not waking up the next day, he had had nightmares about losing toes or fingers because of the cold.  

‘Why didn’t you go talk to Max?’ Alex asked, breaking the loaded silence between them. Michael sighed.

‘I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to be judged, and I think we both know Max is quite good at that. Especially if you don’t have your life under perfect control like he does.’ Michael sounded bitter, he realized that half way through, but Alex didn’t seem to care. Michael could see him nod.

‘I get that. Family can be complicated.’ Alex said, and it felt a lot like a confession.

‘Your dad?’ Michael asked carefully, just because Alex had just figured out one of Michael’s biggest secrets, didn’t mean he was ready to share as well. Not that Michael didn’t want to know, because he really did, but he knew how much it sucked being forced into a confession you weren’t ready for.

‘Yeah, and my brothers.’ Alex voice carefully neutral. ‘My mom left when I was a kid, she couldn’t handle being around him anymore, but she apparently didn’t feel that bad leaving her four sons with him.’ There it was, that bitter tone Michael recognized all too well.  Michael didn’t have to ask who _him_ was. He’d seen the way Alex reacted whenever his father was involved in a conversation. Alex’s face during that phone call the first day they’d met, still hadn’t left his mind.

Family was complicated, and Michael didn’t want to assume anything.

‘Are you the youngest?’ Michael asked, it seemed like a relatively safe question.

‘Yeah, I am. My brothers are all in the Air Force.’ Alex seemed cautious when answering, but he did answer. ‘How exactly are you and Max related?’ Michael glanced at Alex as he stopped for a red light.

‘Are we just going to ask each other questions now until one of us refuses to answer?’ Alex smiled easily.

‘If we don’t want to answer, we don’t answer, but for the rest of this three minute car ride, we can ask each other anything, deal?’ Alex proposed. Michael focussed back on the road as the light went green.

‘Deal.’ He agreed. How bad could this be. ‘So, I actually have a sister too, her name is Isobel and she’d married to Noah.’ Alex nodded. ‘It’s complicated, but basically we’re not related by blood, but we spend a lot of time in the same group home back in New Mexico. We became as close as siblings, until the Evans family came along and adopted Max and Is, but not me.’ Michael explained as best as he could, this, he didn’t mind sharing with Alex. From what he’d learned, if Alex was going to understand anything, it was complicated family relationships. ‘How did you get the scar on your back?’

Alex tensed, Michael had clearly asked something that was part of a sensitive subject. Alex was quiet for a good couple of seconds, but then tentatively started talking.

‘We used to have this tool shed behind our house in New Mexico. I was probably about fourteen and I wasn’t really supposed to be in there. I was messing around and ended up tripping and falling into a wall, there was a nail sticking out.’ Michael flinched.

‘Ouch.’

‘Yeah, so I ended up with a small wound on my back. I should have just gotten my dad to clean it, but I didn’t want to tell him I’d been in there, so I didn’t. It got infected. By the time the pain was so bad I could barely sleep, it had turned into this really ugly mark. I had to tell my dad then, and because I had waited so long, it turned into this really ugly scar.’ Alex shrugged, Michael wasn’t sure that was the whole truth, but he’d take it. Michael appreciated how they were both ignoring the only reason Michael even knew there was a scar there.

‘Your turn.’ Michael said as he turned onto Alex’s street.

‘The garage is down the ramp there.’ Alex motioned towards the building vaguely. He slid a card from his wallet and held it out to Michael. ‘You need that to get in.’

‘Thanks.’

‘How did you hurt your hand?’ Michael didn’t see that coming and he nearly parked the car against a lamppost.

‘Sorry. We’ve arrived, game over.’ Michael said as he got the car back under control, turned into the garage and swiped the key card past the scanner. The gate separating the garage from the street opened slowly. The silence went back to awkward. Great. ‘This is nice, the whole secure garage.’ Michael tried.

‘Yeah, too bad I don’t have a car to park in it. Or, I guess, luckily, because now you can take my spot.’ He motioned for the space marked with the number of Alex’s apartment. Michael parked the car.

‘Thanks.’

‘Get your stuff, and let’s go inside, I’m tired.’ Alex said, hopping from the car. He didn’t offer to help carry Michael’s stuff, and in a way, he appreciated that. Well, he did until he realized that he couldn’t carry all of this at the same time.

‘Um, could you help me out here?’ He asked gesturing helplessly with his arms full of stuff. Alex grinned.

‘Sure thing Michael. All you have to do is ask.’ Michael gave Alex the most unimpressed look he could manage.

‘Really? Trying to teach me a lesson. Now?’ Alex laughed as he took the duffle bag hastily filled with clothes from Michael. He also accepted Michael’s blanket, attempting to get a good hold of it, it wasn’t like Michael had properly folded it or anything.

Michael hesitated before grabbing the guitar case from his truck, by Alex’s surprised look he hadn’t seen it on the drive here.

‘You play?’ Alex asked.

‘I used to.’ Michael answered and there must have been something in his tone, because Alex didn’t ask for more details.  

‘Is that everything?’ Alex asked as Michael made sure to check the cabin before throwing the door shut and locking it.

‘Yeah, I think so.’ He said.

‘Alright, follow me.’ Michael did as he was told and followed Alex up the stairs and through the building. Alex fumbled with the keys for a few seconds, but somehow managed to open the door without putting anything down, it was sort of impressive, and hilarious. Michael tried to hide his giggles, but he clearly failed, because Alex gave him an annoyed look before pushing the door open. ‘No, don’t worry about it Guerin, I’m fine, I’ve got this.’ He said sarcastically.

‘I can see that.’ Michael said, following Alex into the apartment and pushing the door closed with his foot. Alex rolled his eyes, and moved right into the guest bedroom. Michael’s bedroom.

‘There.’ Alex said, putting down Michael’s stuff on the bed. Michael put the stuff he was holding down on the floor near the foot of his bed. That seemed like a tomorrow problem.

‘Thanks.’ He made sure to look Alex in the eyes as he said it. ‘I was serious about paying rent, by the way.’ Alex rolled his eyes.

‘Michael, there’s no need. My dad pays the rent for this place. I just pay water, electricity and food.’ He shrugged. Michael knew Alex had been signed to a basic entry level contract by the Bruins, and there was no way that paid much. Probably enough to live off, he could probably even pay the rent himself, but for some reason his dad was taking care of that. Still, Michael felt guilty.

‘How about I pay for groceries.’ Michael pleaded. ‘Otherwise I feel like a freeloader Alex.’ Alex sighed.

‘Fine. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.’ Alex waved his hands at him vaguely. ‘Now, I need to sleep, so I’m going to brush my teeth. Goodnight Michael.’ Alex headed for the door.

‘Goodnight Alex.’ Michael said, he took the duffle bag off the bed and placed it on the floor, another tomorrow problem. He picked up the blanket and dropped it at the foot of his bed. He heard Alex leave the bathroom and decided to go brush his teeth, be didn’t want to put it off and annoy Alex by fumbling around in there while he was trying to sleep.

It was silly, but the moment the bedroom door closed behind him, he felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Someone knew his secret and hadn’t laughed at him, hadn’t fussed over him like he was a child. Alex had been mad, yes, but because he was upset that Michael thought he wouldn’t be cool with the whole thing. He was angry because Michael hadn’t trusted him enough to ask for help. He had trusted Alex with some information about his childhood and the world hadn’t imploded.

He tucked himself under the covers and decided that it was official. A real bed was much, much better then sleeping in his truck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Another chapter done. Now my next upload will probably be the season opener for the B's and Jesse Manes might show back up... Who knows?


	5. I'd be smart to walk away, but you're quicksand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex freaks out, more than once, Michael is a little shit and completely in love and Kyle is an excitable puppy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm using this new chapter as my contribution to Alex Manes Appreciation week 2019!  
> I'm very excited for this because my boy absolutely deserves more love! 
> 
> Oh and um, spoilers for season 5 (and 6) of Game of Thrones in this chapter? The characters talk about a fairly major plotpoint? It's right at the beginning, so um, tread carefully?

It was surprisingly easy, living with Michael. Alex had expected it to be awkward, but it really wasn’t. Well, there were moments, obviously, but in general they seemed to do really well at sharing a space. Alex didn’t mind when Michael left science magazines all around the apartment, because he liked reading them too. Michael didn’t mind when Alex left the TV playing nature documentaries when he was stressed out because the narrators made him feel calm and he hated silence.

They’d come to the agreement that if there was something they wanted to know of the other, they would ask, but that if the other didn’t want to tell them, they wouldn’t press. Both of them had secrets they didn’t want to share, at least not yet, but this way they didn’t have to walk on eggshells around each other. Also, Alex knew he got flighty when people pressed issues he didn’t want to talk about, and he didn’t want to end up walking away from whatever this thing with Michael was.

‘Wait, wait, wait.’ Alex exclaimed. ‘Jon Snow _dies_?’ He asked, looking at the TV screen in horror as the credits rolled. ‘No! I like him! Why do the all the characters I like die?’ Michael laughed.

‘Welcome to Game of Thrones, I hope you enjoy your stay.’

‘I don’t! I’m not having a good time.’ Alex whined. ‘Please tell me Ed saves him or something? Please tell me that little fucker dies?’

‘Spoilers, Alex.’

‘Fuck spoilers, if Jon Snow is really dead, I am not watching this anymore. He’s the best! With his stupid face and his stupid hair and that stupid sword. He killed a fucking White Walker, he can’t die like this!’ Alex exclaimed, and Michael laughed again. Alex really didn’t see how this was funny. ‘It’s not funny Guerin! Stop laughing at my misery.’ He threw a pillow at Michael’s head when he didn’t stop and that, of course, only made it worse.

‘Your face.’ Michael managed between hiccups.

‘I swear to God Guerin, if you don’t tell me if he’s alive or not..’

‘Then what?’ Michael asked, getting his laughter somewhat under control.

‘Then… I’ll throw away all of that expensive Belgian chocolate you bought.’ Michael gasped dramatically.

‘You wouldn’t.’

‘Wouldn’t I?’

‘Fine, okay, he’s alive. Sort of.’ Alex narrowed his eyes at Michael, trying to decipher what he meant by that.

‘Okay.’ Alex drew out the word. He decided to let it go, for now. ‘So, I did actually have another question.’ He turned himself sideways on the couch so he could face Michael.

‘Okay, go ahead.’ Michael gestured with his hand.

‘You told me when you moved in that you used to play guitar.’ Alex said. ‘Did you stop playing because of your hand?’ He knew any question that revolved around Michael’s hand and what happened to it were usually met with a “no comment”, but he hoped this was far enough off the topic.

‘Yeah.’ Michael hesitated. ‘I used to love playing. It made me feel quiet, just like hockey did.’ There was an old pain in Michael’s face and Alex hated it.

‘Why don’t you skate anymore? I get that the whole stick handling business is hard with your loss of movement and strength and stuff, but you could still skate right?’ Alex asked, now that they were on the subject, he had more questions.

‘I haven’t really thought about it. Well, I have, but I’m just not sure if it would make me feel better or if it would just hurt.’ Michael said.

‘There’s only one way to find out, right?’ Alex tried, he wanted to do something that made Michael happy. ‘Like, if someone plays guitar around you, does that make you sad or happy?’

‘Depends.’

‘On what?’ Alex asked.

‘If they’re good.’ Michael grinned, but the smile didn’t really light up his eyes like it normally did. ‘Why, you want to give it a try?’

‘I can actually play, you know.’ Alex said. Michael blinked at him.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I’m not great, but I’m decent.’ Alex shrugged, Michael pushed himself off the couch without another word and disappeared into his room. When he came back, he was carrying the guitar case he’d brought with him when he’d moved in a week and a half ago. He handed it to Alex without a word. He sat down on the couch again, looking at Alex in a way that made him feel dizzy.

Alex took the guitar from the case. It was a nice one, perfectly maintained even though it seemed like Michael hadn’t been able to play for a while. He plucked at a few of the strings.

‘Any requests?’ He asked, Michael smiled softly at him, it made his heart flutter.

‘Nah. Anything will do.’

‘Okay. Well,’ Alex cleared his throat. ‘hello everyone, good evening.’ He said seriously. ‘My name is Alex Manes, and I’ll be playing: Wonderwall.’ He ignored Michael’s delighted burst of laughter and started playing. It had been a long time since he’d played, and even longer since he sang for anyone but the showerhead. He started tentatively, softly testing his voice.

‘ _Today is gonna be the day, that they’re gonna throw it back to you. By now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta do. I don’t believe that anybody, feels the way I do about you now.’_ Alex looked up at Michael. ‘ _Backbeat, the word-_ ‘ he forgot the lyrics. The way Michael was looking at him, made his brain stutter to a halt.

Michael was looking at him like he hung the stars in the sky. Like he couldn’t quite believe Alex was there. Like he wanted to sit there forever.

‘Why did you stop?’ He asked, and his voice was too rough, there was too much _want_ in those simple words. Alex felt a shiver run down his spine.

‘I forgot the lyrics.’ He admitted. Michael had moved closer at some point. Alex wasn’t sure when. He was within reach now, and that was bad. Because all Alex wanted to do was lean over and just throw all caution to the wind. There was no way Michael didn’t feel something for him too. Michael reached out and Alex elected to ignore the way his breath hitched. Michael took the guitar from him and put it on the table, barely taking his eyes off Alex. He started to lean in and-

The shrill ring of Alex’s phone made them both jump.

‘Fuck.’ Alex cursed, being snapped from whatever spell they were under. He lunged for his phone, ready to tell whoever it was to fuck the hell off. _Bruins Front Office_. His caller ID read. Alex felt his eyes widen. ‘It’s the Bruins.’

‘Answer it.’ Michael said urgently, clearing his throat.

‘Hello?’ Alex said after accepting the call.

‘Alex, hi. It’s Jim Valenti, GM of the Bruins.’ Kyle’s dad. The GM of the Boston Bruins, was calling him at nine o’clock, this was either really bad, or really good.

‘Hello sir.’ Alex answered, voice level, somehow.

‘How are you?’ Mister Valenti asked and what the hell kind of question was that?

‘I’m good, sir.’ Alex answered, trying not to sound impatient.

‘That’s good to hear, because as you may have heard Murphy left the game this afternoon, and we just found out that he has actually broken his leg. He’s going to be out for a while.’ Alex felt a swell of hope in his chest. ‘I know this may be a little sooner then you expected, we’re only three games into the season after all, but we’re calling you up for the game against Montreal the day after tomorrow.’ Alex’s face must have done something overwhelmed, because Michael’s hand settled on his shoulder.

‘I- wow. Thank you, sir.’

‘We have faith in you Alex, we think you’ll be great. So we’re very excited to have you. Tomorrow we’d like to have you come train with the Bruins, there’s going to be an optional skate, but we’ll have the guys there we think are going to be your line mates, and a few others.’

‘Okay. What time tomorrow?’ He asked, trying to stay practical. He felt grounded by Michael’s hand on his shoulder.

‘The optional skate is set for nine thirty.’ Mister Valenti said. ‘Also, if there’s any family that wants to come to Boston to see your first game, just let us know and we’ll make sure to fly them in, get them a hotel and get them tickets. If you could let us know by tomorrow morning, that would be great.’ There it was. Ice settled in Alex’s chest at the thought of his father coming to Boston. Things had been too good to be true.

‘Oh, yes, I will ask.’ Alex said, Michael’s hand tightened on his shoulder.

‘Good. I hope to see you tomorrow Alex.’

‘Yes sir.’

‘Have a good night.’

‘You too sir.’ Alex said and he dropped the phone from his ear and ended the call. He let out a deep shuddering breath.

‘Murphy is hurt?’ Michael asked, he had been at the game that afternoon.

‘Yeah.’ Alex said, stunned. ‘He’s broken his leg.’

‘So he’s going to be out for at least a few months. That’s amazing Alex!’ Michael grinned and then he blinked and flinched. ‘Well it’s not amazing for Murphy of course, but it’s great for you.’ Alex nodded blankly.

There was too much going through his head right now, but mostly his thoughts were dominated by the thought of his father coming to Boston. While Michael was staying in his apartment. While he had just been _this close_ to _kissing_ Michael. Things had been going so well, his dad had been texting and calling from time to time, but the more time he spend away from the man, where he didn’t have to feel him looking over his shoulder all the time, the more he had relaxed. Now, that all felt like it had disappeared in a few simple words. His father was going to come to Boston. He’d expect to be able to visit Alex’s apartment and see the guest room. Michael’s room.

Michael must have sensed his distress, because he squeezed Alex’s shoulder again.

‘Are you okay?’ Michael asked.

‘Not really.’

‘What do you need?’ And that was the question wasn’t it? The answer was time. Time he didn’t have. He needed to call his father now, ask if he was going to fly in, if he wanted to stay in a hotel or not, how long he was staying. He needed answers.

‘I need to call my father.’ Alex decided, Michael nodded.

‘You want me to go to my room for a bit?’ Despite his minor mental breakdown, Alex didn’t miss how his heart did a little hop at Michael calling it _his room_.

‘Yeah, thanks. Sorry about all this.’ Alex said, vaguely gesturing at himself. Michael waved him off.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ He said as he headed into his room and closed the door.

Alex stared at the phone in his hands for a few seconds. What the hell was he doing? He was going to make his NHL debut in two days, why wasn’t he happy? Why couldn’t he just be a little more brave and stop being so terrified of his own father? Alex sighed and dialled the number.

‘What is it Alex, I’m busy.’ His father’s voice was annoyed and Alex hadn’t even said anything yet.

‘Oh, sorry. I just- um- I’m making my NHL debut the day after tomorrow, and the Bruins wanted to know if you wanted to come. They’ll fly you out, get you a hotel and tickets to the game.’ Alex just got straight to the point. If his father really was busy, and it wasn’t just something to sneer at Alex, he wanted to get this over with quickly. There was a short silence on the other side of the phone.

‘Really? Who got hurt?’ His father asked.

‘Murphy.’

‘How bad?’

‘Broken leg.’

‘How long?’

‘A few months at least.’

‘Good. I’ll come see the game.’ Alex was tempted to ask about his brothers, but to be honest he wasn’t sure if having them here would make things better or worse, so he didn’t. ‘Do you know who they’re playing you with?’

‘No, not yet. I think I’ll find out tomorrow.’ Alex said and his father hummed.

‘Text me when you do.’ His father hung up the phone. Alex brought it down from his ear. He wasn’t even sure what he’d expected. Maybe a congratulations? Any sort of acknowledgement that he’d done something good. Although, he supposed his father was right. The only reason he was getting to play in the NHL was because someone had gotten hurt, and Alex hadn’t done anything for that. What was he even thinking? What the hell did he have to be proud off anyways? He was their second choice. No, not even. He was like, their thirteenth choice.

Alex set his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. Even though it seemed like his father would be staying in a hotel, didn’t mean he wasn’t going to show up at Alex’s apartment anyways. He needed to talk to Michael. He flinched at the thought of having to ask Michael to leave. He heard a door open behind him.

‘So, are you kicking me out?’ Michael asked. It was probably supposed to be a joke, but his delivery was far too legitimately nervous for that, and Alex’s pause lasted way too long to do anything to make this less painful.

‘I need to tell you something.’ Alex said, he wasn’t even sure where he was going with this. Michael moved into view. He sat down on the other end of the couch, as far away from Alex as he could get. It hurt more than Alex cared to admit, especially when he’d been so close a few minutes ago.

‘Okay.’ Michael said, he was waiting for Alex to continue. Alex wouldn’t say Michael was waiting patiently, because he wasn’t, he was fidgeting, the fingers of his good hand tapping a rhythm Alex couldn’t follow.

‘When I get overwhelmed, all I want to do is run.’ Alex started. ‘I leave.’ He wasn’t looking at Michael, but he could hear him swallow thickly in the silence. ‘I have tried to fight, to stay, to be brave, but I’m not.’

‘Yes you are.’ Michael argued and Alex shook his head. ‘When you found out I was sleeping in my truck, I tried to get you to walk away, you didn’t.’

‘That was different, I wasn’t scared then. I am scared now.’ Alex admitted.

‘Why?’ Michael asked, quietly. ‘Is it something I did?’

‘No.’ Alex hurried to say. ‘It’s not you-‘

‘It’s me? Alex, stop, we’re not a couple in a bad soap opera breaking up. Calm down with the dramatics here.’ Michael said, suddenly surprisingly firm. ‘Tell me what you need.’

‘My dad is coming to Boston for my debut. I think the Bruins will probably fly him in the day of the game. He’s probably going to want to come here, but he can’t know you live here.’ Alex said, deciding to be open, to a degree, at least.

‘Okay, so we need to make it look like I don’t live here? Or do you want me to actually leave?’ Michael was, yet again, trying to make that sound as firm and as simple as before, but he failed.

‘No. I don’t want you to leave. I like having you around.’ Alex said. He would have elaborated, about how they were good _friends_ and it was nice not being alone all the time and he would have talked himself further and further down a deep dark hole, but he didn’t want to. He’d made his statement and he’d stick to it.

‘Well, that’s good to know.’ Michael smiled carefully. ‘So we’ll just have to make it look like I don’t live here, and when your father is in town, I should stay the night somewhere else.’

‘Like with Liz.’ Alex immediately said. There was no way he would let Michael stay in his truck, not even for one night. ‘Or with Isobel or Max. Hell, I’m pretty sure Kyle would let you stay with him for a night if we asked.’

‘You mean if _you_ asked?’ Michael said blankly.

‘Michael, you know Kyle likes you.’ Alex said, smiling a him. Kyle did, in fact, like Michael. He liked bickering with Michael.

‘He likes you more.’ That was probably true, but it was the tone that had Alex grin and raise his eyebrows.

‘Are you jealous?’ He asked, grin widening as Michael spluttered indignantly.

‘No.’

‘You’re my favourite anyways.’ Alex assured him and Michael rolled his eyes, but the hint of a blush on his cheeks gave him away. ‘Should I text mister Valenti that my dad wants to come, or should I just tell whoever I can tomorrow, in person?’ Alex changed the subject.

‘Hm, probably just tell them tomorrow?’ He shrugged. ‘It seems a little weird to text the GM of the Bruins.’

‘Yeah, I felt the same way. Good.’ Alex nodded. ‘So that’s a, what do you call it again?’ Alex asked.

‘A tomorrow problem.’ Michael said happily.

‘Right, a _tomorrow problem_.’

‘I thought you hated it when I said that.’ Michael grinned, and it seemed like they really were just going to let Alex’s minor breakdown go. He was kind of glad Michael didn’t push the issue. He would have said something he’d regret.

‘I do, but in this situation, it’s accurate.’ Alex admitted.

‘You know what the whole call-up situation means right?’ Michael asked with a wide grin, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically.

‘What?’ Alex asked, suspicious.

‘That tomorrow, we’re going to have to get you some gear, and a jersey. Have you thought about what number you want to wear yet?’ Alex sighed, of course Michael would be excited about that. ‘I’m going to ask Sanders if I can put your name on your jersey.’ There was a sentiment behind that, that Alex was starting to recognize.

‘I was thinking of 88.’ Alex mused. He wasn’t sure why, but he’d always liked the idea of playing with 88. ‘And I’d like that.’ He made sure to stress. ‘Maybe it’ll bring me luck.’ He was going to need it.

They drifted towards their own rooms after that. Alex forced himself to go to sleep early, checking if he’d set his alarm at least five times. He was not going to be late. As he drifted off, he wasn’t sure if he was happy, or terrified, or both.

 

The next morning, the apartment was quieter than usual as they prepared to head to work. Michael had to leave before Alex did. David Attenborough was in the background, going on about a colony of penguins. Alex wasn’t really paying attention, but that wasn’t the point anyways. He managed not to hyperventilate as he texted back and forth with Kyle.

_Kyle Valenti: Guess who was asked to come to the optional skate this morning? This guy!_

Alex rolled his eyes, even in his fear bordering on panic, he could still be exasperated with Kyle.

 _Good. Max too?_ Alex asked.

_Kyle Valenti: Probably, haven’t talked to him._

That made Alex feel a little better. If they were planning on playing him with Kyle and Max, at least he knew his line mates were capable and trusted him. He wouldn’t say he’d bonded with Max during training camp, but it at least seemed like he didn’t hate his guts. Progress. And Kyle, well, Kyle had been like his own personal cheerleader, along with Michael. They seemed hellbent on making Alex feel good about himself and his ability to play hockey.

Alex headed to Warrior early. He wanted to see if he could catch mister Valenti before training started, just to get his dad off his chest.

‘Alex!’ He blinked, only to find Maria in his way.

‘Oh. Hey.’ Alex said, slowly smiling. Maria stepped forward to hug him.

‘Congratulations!’ She grinned widely. She looked ready to murder someone today, in the best way possible. ‘I heard you’re making your debut tomorrow! It’s going to be awesome.’

‘Thanks.’ Alex said, trying not show his crippling anxiety. Maria noticed anyways.

‘Freaking out huh?’

‘I’m fine.’ Maria gave him an unimpressed look. ‘Okay, yeah kind of freaking out.’ Alex admitted. He knew lying to Maria was pointless, he wasn’t even sure why he tried. She smiled softly at him.

‘Just take deep breaths, you’re going to be fine.’ She assured him. Alex nodded, he wasn’t sure if he believed her, but the sentiment was nice. So he’d take it. For now.

‘Thanks Maria.’ Alex said. ‘Oh and do you know where I can find mister Valenti? I needed to tell him that my dad would love to come to the game tomorrow? He asked if I could tell him that today.’

‘Just your dad?’ Alex nodded. ‘Okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go tell him right now.’ Maria said. ‘You just go focus on getting ready for training.’  

‘Thank you Maria. You’re a saint.’

‘I know, and no problem. Oh, there are going to be quite a few reporters that are going to want to talk to you tomorrow, so be prepared.’ Maria said, before heading back to the business side of Warrior.

He made his way to the locker room, to find his kit all set. The black and gold jersey with _Manes_ on the back, and number 88 proudly underneath it made him feel all kinds of things. Mostly more fear. His father’s voice ringing in his head. “You’re wearing my name on the back of your jersey Alex, you better not make a fool of it.”  

‘Do you like it?’ Michael’s voice behind him made him jump. He turned to find Michael grinning at him sheepishly. ‘Sorry.’ Alex rolled his eyes.

‘It’s fine, I was just spaced out.’ Alex tried to wave off his concerned look.

‘You do that a lot.’

‘I have a lot going on.’

‘That’s true.’ Michael tilted his head. ‘Still nervous?’

‘Yeah, not so much for training, but for tomorrow.’ Michael already knew this, so it wasn’t that hard to admit.

‘And your dad coming?’ Michael asked casually.

‘I just don’t want to disappoint him.’ It was not technically a lie.

‘You won’t, you’re going to be awesome. I can feel it.’ Michael grinned, wiggling his fingers in front of him dramatically.

‘Oh so you’re psychic now?’ Alex asked, raising a single eyebrow to show his scepticism.

‘Duh, I know exactly what you’re thinking.’ God, Alex really hoped not, that would be embarrassing.

‘Shut up Guerin, don’t you have work to do?’ Alex would have wanted to keep him around, but he wanted to get changed and doing that with Michael around seemed like a recipe for disaster.

‘Yeah I do.’ Michael started heading for the door. ‘See you around Manes.’

The door fell shut behind Michael and Alex sighed. Time to face the music. Half way through changing, Kyle came bursting in with his trademark excitement up to eleven. He buzzed around Alex like an excited puppy as he changed with sporadic bursts of _oh right I was doing something_ , all while telling Alex the story of his first game in the NHL.

‘-so then I just punched the guy, because why not and then-‘

‘Valenti! Shut the hell up.’ Max, who had come in somewhere around “and that’s when I freaked out”, sighed deeply. ‘You’re not making anything better by rambling the kid’s head off.’

Kyle murmured some unflattering things under his breath, but did stop jabbering on and on. They made their way onto the ice where coach was waiting for them. He was a serious man, but he always had a spark of warmth in his eyes.

‘Manes, welcome.’ He said, patting Alex on the shoulder firmly.

‘Thank you sir.’ Alex said, the only people on the ice were him, Kyle, Max and two defencemen.

‘Just call me coach, we’re not in the army kid.’ Coach said with a smile. Alex nodded to show he understood. ‘We’re putting you on Evans’ wing, with Valenti on the other side, we liked that combo in training camp, so we’re sticking with it.’ Alex didn’t have time to feel relieved, because coach clapped his hands loudly. ‘Alright, warm up time!’

They went through their regular warm up. Nothing new, nothing to freak out about. Alex became calmer the more time he spend on the ice. His nerves slowly slipped away and he started to actually participate in the banter going on. Kyle kept bumping his shoulder against Alex’s, it took him a while to realize he was doing it to reassure him. Coach took it easy on them, considering they had a game tomorrow, and the day after, that was a good thing.

When they came off the ice, Alex noticed Michael and Sanders sitting on the bench, along with Martin. No one actually liked Martin, but he was damn good at getting their skates exactly right, so they tolerated him.

‘How’s the jersey?’ Michael asked as came by them.

‘Nice.’ Alex said, making sure to smile at Sanders too, it was always good to keep the equipment guys on your good side, just to make sure they didn’t “accidentally” lose your gloves or something.

‘Good. Do you feel ready for tomorrow?’ Sanders asked.

‘Not really.’ Alex made sure to grin, like it wasn’t a big deal. Sanders laughed, but Martin scoffed.

‘O come on Manes, a little confidence never hurt anybody.’ He said, tone just on the wrong side of nasty. Alex could see Michael tense.

‘No, but my fist has.’ Alex smiled sweetly. ‘How about you stick to sharpening skates, and leave me alone.’ It was probably too harsh, but he didn’t need this asshole to make things worse right now. Michael let out a bark of laughter and Sanders ducked his head to hide a smile. Martin frowned and grumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like “O great, another smartass.”

Alex would take that title. He’d never been one to just go quietly, on the ice that was. His father had taught him to do whatever was necessary to win. If that meant riling up an opponent until they committed an penalty on you, fine.

When they got back to the locker room, Alex noticed he had a email from the Bruins GM. It contained the information for his father’s flight. He was, as Alex had expected, flying in the morning of the game, and flying back the morning after the game. They had booked him what looked like a nice, expensive hotel room. Alex forwarded the email to his father.

_Flight and hotel details are in your email. I’m going to be on a line with Valenti and Evans._

He changed back into his street clothes, he’d shower back home. Right now, he just wanted to sit under a blanket and watch some crappy television.

_I saw it. We will talk tomorrow._

He read his father’s reply right before allowing himself to fall down onto the couch. Tomorrow was going to suck. He allowed himself to close his eyes just for a little bit.

 

He was on the ice at the TD Garden for the first time. And it was incredibly overwhelming. The noise of the crowd was huge and the lights and the music made everything seem even bigger. Kyle was right next to him, grinning at him in a way that said _I know_. Alex made himself do a lap around the rink, just see how the ice was feeling. He ignored his shaking hands as he picked up a puck and shot it on the empty net. Warm ups never lasted long enough and at the same time always lasted far too long.

The game kicked off and Alex felt fine, he was nervous, but he felt in control. Like he knew what he was doing. It was going to be okay. His first touch came off a pass from Kyle and when Alex saw a lane he passed the puck to… _Michael?_ What? Alex was stopped dead in his tracks by a hit that had him smack into the ice hard. He looked up at the guy standing over him, only to see _his dad_. Alex tried to scramble away from him, but his dad just slid closer. It seemed as if he got bigger by the second, an ice cold presence chilling Alex all over. He was all alone and he ended up against a wall, where did a wall even come from? His father’s eyes were pure ice as he came closer, paler then Alex remembered them being. His skin looked ice cold too. When he grinned at Alex and a hand closed around his throat, Alex finally tried to scream. He couldn’t the hand just got tighter and he couldn’t breathe and he felt like he was blacking out and he needed to breathe needed to breathe-

 

Alex shot up on the couch, immediately trying to find the source of danger. He found nothing, just his empty living room. There was a weird sound though. It took Alex far too long to realize it was his own ragged breathing. He needed to breathe. Slow breaths. Distraction. Alex grabbed his phone from the table.

_Michael Guerin: I can stay with Is tomorrow night, she didn’t even ask questions. I told her they’re doing maintenance to the plumbing so I won’t have water. Easy. How are you doing?_

His breathing calmed down a little as he read the text. It had been send an hour ago. Fuck. How long had he slept?

_I’m doing fine. My dad flies in tomorrow morning and leaves the next day._

Alex send back, it was almost five, so Michael would probably be heading home soon. They’d have to make the guest room look unlived in, and then Alex would need to find a way to fall asleep again, even though everything in his body told him not to. His phone buzzed.

_Michael Guerin: You’re a miserable liar, Manes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! I know! I did the thing. The "they almost kiss but get interrupted by a phone call" thing. I'm sorry! I couldn't resist.  
> Also, no Jesse yet, but he's coming. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	6. This path is reckless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex scares Michael, Isobel is an angel and Kyle is worried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! I'm back! Two updates in two days! I'm on a roll! 
> 
> It is really important to me to make sure that people are slowly going to start realizing how much Alex and Michael actually like each other. Kyle already has an inkling, and this chapter, we're adding someone else to the list. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support and kind words on this. I'm having a blast and I'm glad you are too!

When Alex told him he got flighty when he got overwhelmed, Michael hadn’t quite been expecting this.

When he’d gotten up at six thirty that morning, because who needed sleep anyways, he’d expected to see Alex’s door closed. When it wasn’t, and he could see that Alex’s bed was empty, he was expecting a note on the counter, or a text on his phone. Alex always left a note when he left. But there was no note on the counter and when he checked his phone the screen was empty. Something uneasy settled in his stomach.

_Hey, you’re up early. Went to the gym?_

Michael send. He didn’t want to seem like he was trying to control Alex, or demand to always know where he was. He set his phone down on the counter and went about making some breakfast, they’d decided it was fine for Michael to stay last night. Alex’s father wasn’t arriving until ten that morning, Michael would already be at work by then, and after the game, he’d go to Isobel.

As he ate his breakfast, he kept glancing at his phone, but it stayed painfully silent on the counter. Michael went to turn on the TV, he’d adopted Alex’s habit of drowning out the quiet by playing nature documentaries. It was both effective and educational. After thirty minutes, Michael caved and went to grab his phone.

_Alex, are you okay? I’m getting a little worried._

If Alex had just gone to the gym and forgotten to leave a note, they’d laugh about this later. Alex would make some joke and he would leave a snarky note the next time.

Thirty more minutes went by and still nothing. Michael was starting to feel a little sick now. He understood why his anxiety was so high, Alex hadn’t been okay last night. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. It had probably been the accumulation of several stress factors. That was fine, but that did make Michael a hell of a lot more worried about him now. Alex had told him he got flighty when he got overwhelmed.

This was probably exactly that. He just wanted to know if he was okay. He understood the need to have space. Because where Alex ran, Michael would isolate himself and ignore the problem until it hit him in the face so hard he couldn’t ignore it anymore. Michael’s finger hesitated above the dial button. He didn’t want to push Alex further away. They’d agreed that if one of them didn’t want to talk about something, they wouldn’t push. But was this the same situation? Did this count?

He was just about to give in and call when there was a sound and the front door opened. Michael’s head snapped towards it so fast he felt something crack in his neck. Alex came walking into the apartment. He looked wrecked. He’d clearly been out running or something. He was wearing sweatpants and a thin sweater, his hair was down flat on his head from sweat.

Michael wouldn’t pretend he wasn’t worried about Alex. Usually, people were happy when they got the opportunity to make their NHL debut. Alex, on the other hand, looked like he was going to be sick. He was pale and looked like he’d barely slept.

‘Morning.’ Alex said simply.

‘Morning?’ Michael asked. ‘You’ve been gone for over an hour Alex.’ He knew his voice sounded too sharp when Alex looked up, and his eyes narrowed.

‘What?’ He asked, it was a tone of voice Michael hadn’t really heard before. It seemed like a warning, more then a question, a clear sign of _you should choose your next words carefully_.

‘I was worried.’ Michael said. Alex looked at him steadily for a few seconds, and then he deflated. It wasn’t until he released the tension in his shoulders that Michael realized just _how tense_ Alex had really been.

‘I’m sorry. I needed to clear my head.’ Alex said, he pulled his phone from his pocket and glanced at the screen. ‘Don’t you need to get to work?’

‘It’s fine, just give me a heads up, so I know I don’t have to call the police or something.’ Michael said, checking his own phone for the time. It was nearly eight. He did need to get dressed. Alex nodded.

‘Do you need to shower?’ Alex asked. He looked tired, cold and exhausted.

‘No, you go ahead, I’ll shower at Isobel’s tonight. She’s got this amazing shower with all these different sprays and settings, it’s an experience.’ Michael grinned. It had the desired effect. Alex smiled, rolled his eyes and sighed.

‘Okay, you do that. I’m going to go shower.’ Michael waved at him, just to get another smile out of him. Alex disappeared into the bathroom and Michael forced himself to get up and get dressed. He had a long day ahead of him. He left just as Alex came from the bathroom, dressed and looking… very put together. He didn’t have a car, and he couldn’t exactly borrow Michael’s, so Alex was going to take a cab to the airport to pick up his father.

‘See you later.’ Michael said, giving Alex what he hoped was an encouraging smile. He knew Alex would most likely do a final sweep of the apartment, just to make sure there wasn’t anything out of place. The apartment hadn’t been meticulously cleaned or anything, but Alex had made sure it was what he called “up to his father’s standards”. The more Alex let slip about his father and their relationship, the more Michael got the feeling there was something going on there.

He just wasn’t sure if he jumped to that conclusion because of his own history, or if there was actually something bad there.

Michael would catch a ride with Noah after the game, so he left his car at Alex’s and walked to the TD Garden. It wasn’t that far, but it was getting cold now and Michael really needed a better coat. It wasn’t that he couldn’t afford it, the Bruins paid him quite well. It was just another one of those situations where Michael would continue to insist he was fine until he got sick and then finally bought a better coat.

It was much like his apartment. He could afford the rent, he could have gone out and found another apartment after he’d been made to leave the last one. But that would have meant admitting that he’d done something stupid. That would have meant telling Max and Is he’d moved and why. There had been an opportunity, early on, where he could have told Max the truth, but when he’d chickened out he’d convinced himself that was it. There was no going back now. He could have made up a lie, come up with another reason why he left the apartment and went to live somewhere else, but he’d been scared. And so he’d just ignored the problem. He would have kept ignoring the problem too, had Alex not found out.

Game days were Michael’s favourite. There would be a certain excitement in the Garden. A buzz that was undeniable. The buzz was always there, but there were some teams that made the buzz multiply. The Canadiens were one of those teams. Boston’s long standing rival, dating back all the way to the Original Six era. Games between these two teams were always high intensity and volatile. Alex chose a hell of a game to make his debut.

The morning went by much faster then Michael had anticipated. He did his work and kept an almost obsessive eye on his phone. He kept hoping Alex would text him an update, but he didn’t. When the players started to come in, Alex wasn’t the first one there. That made Michael anxious. He would have expected Alex to be the first one there. When Valenti arrived, and there was still no Alex Michael felt his anxiety ramp up some more. Valenti must have noticed something.

‘Alex is introducing his dad to the bosses.’ He said. Michael made a face. ‘You looked worried Guerin.’

‘Why would you think it was over Manes?’ Michael noticed how defensive his voice sounded.

‘Just a guess.’ Valenti shrugged before moving off. The fact that Alex was here, made him feel a little better, still, he didn’t think he’d settle entirely until he’d seen him in person.

But he wouldn’t get the chance to for a while. He got called away because apparently one of the guys had somehow lost his right glove. It send him and Sanders on a mad hunt for the thing while the players talked to reporters. Michael had a vague idea of where Alex was, probably behind the wall of reporters. In the end, the glove was in his goddamn bag and Michael felt like punching something.

And of course, that’s the moment Valenti decided to show up again.

‘Please tell me you haven’t lost something as well?’ Michael groaned before Valenti could even say anything. Michael would have expected him to laugh, but he didn’t. That’s when Michael noticed he looked uncharacteristically serious. ‘What is it Valenti?’ Michael asked, sitting up straighter where he’d plopped down on a bench in the locker room.

‘Have you ever met Alex’s dad?’ He asked, a frown on his face.

‘No.’ Michael said. ‘Why?’ Valenti looked like he wanted to say something, but then changed his mind, he shook his head.

‘Never mind.’

‘No, no, no, what is it?’ Michael pressed, reaching out to grab Valenti’s sleeve to keep him from walking away.

‘I just- neither of them seemed all that happy to be here.’ Valenti sighed. ‘Maybe I’m just reading too much into this. It’s not even my place to talk about this, forget it.’

‘Kyle.’ Michael snapped, the use of his first name seemed to show Valenti how serious Michael was. ‘Anything specific, or just a feeling?’ Valenti studied him for a second.

‘Just a feeling.’ He decided in the end.

‘Keep an eye on him, will you?’ Michael asked, even though it pained him that he wouldn’t be able to be close enough to Alex to do it himself. ‘He seems really worked up about this.’ Kyle nodded, face serious.

‘Got it.’ He affirmed. ‘I’ll look out for him Guerin.’

When he finally caught a glimpse of Alex, twenty minutes before puck-drop, his worry increased. He looked tense as all hell. His jaw was clenched tight, face carefully blank, eyes focussed on something no one else could see.

He wanted to go talk to him, but that would be weird. He would just have to trust Valenti to look out for him.

Michael watched the game from the locker room, ready to jump into action if necessary. The first twenty minutes, Alex was a mess. He was so tense, he seemed to have lost all the grace and poise he normally had on the ice. Michael had seen him skate quite a lot at this point, and Alex had never looked as unsure and unsettled as he did in that first period. Kyle tried to help him out, Michael noticed and he reminded himself to thank him later. He would bump his shoulder against Alex’s whenever he got the chance. He kept involving him in plays, even when Alex seemed to have forgotten how to use his stick entirely. Michael could almost _feel_ the increasing desperation in Alex.

The second period was better, still not great, but better. Alex actually got a shot off on goal and he would have had the assist on a goal by Max, had the Canadiens goalie not made a great save. The second period also brought that typical Bruins/ Habs ferocity. Alex got shoved and nearly went head first into Noah, Kyle stuck back with a nasty crosscheck. Michael could see him mouthing off at the guy as the ref dragged him to the penalty box.

The third period was a mess from start to finish, for both teams. They’d gone in with a tie at zero, but with two minutes to go it was 2-2 and Alex was in the penalty box. The crowd was roaring and Michael’s blood was rushing through his body so fast he felt light-headed. A particularly annoying Canadien had shoved Valenti into the boarding, head first (he was fine), and Alex had pretty much thrown himself at the guy, dropping his gloves and stick in the process. What followed was a fight that had the crowd in the Garden on their feet. Alex was _good_. He brushed his opponents strikes off like he barely felt them and fought back with all the frustration he seemed to have build up during the game.

He ended up with an added two minute instigator penalty, but Michael didn’t think he cared in the least. When they showed a shot of Alex sitting in the penalty box, hair a complete mess, breathing hard, bag of ice on his hand and a tiny smile on his face, Michael had to swallow down a curse or two. He was hot as fuck.

When Alex was finally allowed back on the ice, it was like he’d taken the chains of fear and anxiety and crushed them with his bare hands. He finally started to skate, started to _play_. He had two opportunities in thirty seconds and the defence of the Canadiens was struggling to get a grip on him. Michael could feel the vicious smile on his own face. He was proud.

That’s probably why he couldn’t contain his hissed _yes_ when Valenti scored off Alex’s assist, thirty seconds before time ran out and Valenti leapt into Alex’s arms. Alex looked _liberated_ and Michael was absolutely in way too deep. The horn to signal the end of the game was the most welcome sound ever. The Garden roared in appreciation of the entertaining game they’d seen. When the players started bursting into the locker room, Michael waited off to the side. Screw everything, he needed to give Alex a hug.

He came into the locker room right after Valenti and he seemed to seek Michael out immediately. That alone made him happier then it should.

‘That was awesome.’ Michael said, before wrapping Alex up in a hug. He whined.

‘Guerin, I’m super sweaty, get off me.’ Alex said in his ear, but he didn’t sound like he really meant it, plus he hugged Michael back. ‘And three quarters of my game weren’t that awesome at all.’ Alex said as he pulled back and placed himself at respectable distance from Michael.

‘Fuck that. It doesn’t matter.’ Michael said firmly.

‘Yes it does.’ Alex disagreed.

‘No one is going to remember the beginning, they’ll only remember the end.’ Michael said, shoving Alex’s shoulder softly, it was totally an excuse to touch him.

‘ _I_ will remember the beginning.’ Alex’s stubborn nature didn’t allow him to let go of this, it seemed.

‘You will _learn_ from the beginning, and move on.’ Michael said, which earned him a pair of raised eyebrows from Alex.

‘When the hell did you get so wise?’ He asked, grinning. Michael shrugged.

After that, Alex was whisked away by Maria, there were apparently interviews to be done and pictures to be taken. Someone had saved the puck that signified Alex’s first NHL point and he needed to take a picture with it. After this, Michael lost sight of Alex as he was pulled away to actually do his job, which meant collecting all of the sweaty clothes and getting them washed asap. Luckily, Sanders had promised him he could leave whenever Noah was ready to go.

The car ride towards his and Isobel’s house was a little awkward. Michael and Noah didn’t interact all that much, besides the generic hockey related conversations they had at work. Luckily for Michael, the ride only lasted about ten minutes. When they arrived at the ridiculously large house, and Michael ended up with his arms full of a squealing Isobel, it made the ride worth it.

‘Michael!’ Isobel half yelled into his ear. He flinched.

‘Hey Is.’ Michael said, keeping his voice down, like a normal person.

‘Hello to you too, my wonderful wife, my game was fine, thanks for asking.’ Noah grinned at them from the other side of the car. Isobel rolled her eyes fondly and went to kiss her husband hello.

‘I see you every day, silly. My asshole little brother over here can barely be bothered to call once in a while.’ There was no heat in Isobel’s voice at all, but that didn’t mean Michael didn’t feel a little guilty. He really had been wrapped up in his safe little bubble of _Alex_.

They ended up downstairs, just the two of them, as Noah went to do whatever he usually did after a game.

‘So,’ Isobel said, plopping down next to him on the unnecessarily large couch. ‘how have you been?’

‘Good. How about you?’ Michael asked, there was something in Is’ voice that told him she had a point, he had no doubt she’d get to it soon enough.

‘Good.’ She said, and she was studying him with eyes so sharp Michael was starting to feel like he was being interrogated. ‘Been on any dates recently?’ Ah, there it was.

‘Nope.’

‘You sure about that?’ She pressed.

‘Yep.’

‘Not even with Maria?’ Michael let out a long groan, and rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.

‘You’ve been talking to Max.’ He said with a betrayed frown on his face.

‘I always talk to Max.’ Isobel said happily.

‘Look, there’s nothing, and I mean _nothing_ between me and Maria DeLuca. I think she’s great and scary and really good at what she does, but I don’t want to _date_ her.’ Michael said as firmly as he could, he needed to squash this idea as soon as possible, before Is started to make _plans_.

‘Well, then who _do_ you want to date?’ Isobel asked, Michael gave her an unimpressed look. ‘O come on Michael, Max may be a little dense sometimes, but he’s not blind. He said you were giving _someone_ heart eyes and I want to know who. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to, you know that.’

‘Except from Max. And Noah.’ Michael said with a frown. Is liked to pretend she was good at keeping secrets, but that was a lie. She was physically incapable of keeping secrets from both her brother and her husband. Isobel finally looked at him completely seriously.

‘If you’re serious about this. I won’t even tell them. I swear.’ Michael sighed deeply. Maybe it would be good to talk to someone, say some of the stuff going on in his head out loud.

‘I’m not telling you who it is.’ He said firmly. ‘But they’re great.’ Isobel squealed and Michael flinched.

‘I knew it!’ She exclaimed, wiggling around on the couch.

‘This isn’t exactly making me feel like you’ll keep this to yourself, Is.’ Michael said making a face at her, she swatted his arm lightly.

‘O come on Michael, I’m allowed to be excited that you’ve found someone you like. I hate the thought of you being all alone.’ Isobel said with too much sympathy for Michael’s liking.

‘I’m not alone. I have friends.’ Michael said defensively.

‘Name one.’ Isobel said, she was looking at him without any judgement, just kindness, that didn’t mean that it didn’t make Michael feel like shit.

‘Whatever.’ Michael murmured.

‘I’m sorry, that wasn’t nice of me. Tell me more about your person.’ Isobel said, setting her hand on Michael’s forearm. She was looking at him with genuine curiosity and Michael had never been able to stay mad at Isobel.

‘They’re super smart, and funny.’ Michael knew the whole _they_ thing was giving away that there was something there. Isobel was the only person that had an inkling that Michael wasn’t just interested in women, and he knew she was going to figure it out pretty quickly. He didn’t mind that much. He’d accepted he was not quite straight a few years ago. He just hadn’t quite expected to develop such a massive crush on a hockey player. Let alone a hockey player who seemed to somewhat liked him back.

‘Of course they are, you like them, they’d have to be brilliant for that to happen.’ Isobel said teasingly. ‘Tell me more.’

‘He plays guitar and he likes listening to nature documentaries when he gets stressed. He makes amazing pancakes and he’s stubborn and he hates gore but watches Game of Thrones anyways, Arya is his favourite character, his second favourite is Jon Snow and he threatened to stop watching when he died and he just so frustratingly beautiful-’ Michael looked at Isobel to find her smiling at him with the softest, happiest expression he’d ever seen on her face. She actually looked a little teary eyed and Michael wasn’t sure what to do now.

‘So, you’ve spend a lot of time with him huh?’ She asked, and Michael realized he had actually been naming a lot of things he’d learned while living with Alex. ‘Are you going to tell me his name?’ Michael thought about it, he legitimately did, but this wasn’t just about him.

‘Nah. I’ve got to keep some secrets.’ He said and Is rolled her eyes fondly.

‘Do you think he likes you back?’ Isobel asked. Michael felt his face pull into a soft smile and he could feel that there was a slight blush on his cheeks.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Yes you do!’ Isobel clapped her hands in excitement. Michael waved her away with a grin.

‘I’m going to bed.’

‘Michael!’ Is laughed as she called after him. ‘Come back!’ He could hear her giggle as he left the living room to make his way to the guestroom. He smiled and shook his head as he got to brushing his teeth. It felt incredibly nice to have been able to tell someone about Alex, even if he hadn’t told her his name. It had sort of shoved his feelings in his own face, listing all the things he liked about Alex, and to be fair that wasn’t even the full list.

Despite the fact that he’d always felt perfectly comfortable in Isobel’s house, he had trouble falling asleep. He laid in the big, just a little too soft, bed and tried to determine what the problem was. He picked up his phone to check the time. Alex. He hadn’t heard from Alex. Michael opened his texts, even though he knew what he was going to find, a whole pile of nothing. He hesitated, his last two unanswered text stared at him like they were screaming _leave him alone_. Alex was probably just spending time with his dad. His family.

_Goodnight._

Michael couldn’t resist. He just needed Alex to know he was thinking about him. Maybe that was too much, but it was done now. No going back. He was planning on going to sleep. He really was. But then his screen lit up and Michael just had to check it out.

_Alex Manes: I’m fine Michael. Goodnight._

Alex answered a question Michael hadn’t asked. Alex knew him too well and wasn’t that the scariest thought. The text did make him feel a little calmer though, he wasn’t sure if he believed Alex entirely, but at least he answered. Michael drifted off with Alex on his mind.

He woke up the next morning disorientated and confused. The bed was too big and too soft and he missed the weird sound the heating made when it kicked in in the morning. He checked his phone for the time and it was, yet again, before seven. Six forty five to be precise. Michael dropped his head back onto the pillow with a groan.

The only thing that stopped him from smothering himself with the pillow, was the thought that Alex’s dad was leaving today and that he would get to go back home. After the game tonight, obviously. A back to back wasn’t exactly the most ideal situation, especially not for Alex, who was going to have such a quick turn around after his debut.

 

It was ten thirty when Michael’s phone rang, he was at the Garden, doing a final check of the locker room before taking a nice long break. He checked the screen and was shocked to see _Alex Manes_. He answered with a speed he hadn’t realized he possessed.

‘Hey.’ He said, trying not to sound too eager and failing.

‘Hey.’ Alex said back and he sounded, relieved. ‘I just dropped off my dad at the airport.’

‘Did you have fun?’ Michael asked, not sure why the fuck he even said that.

‘With my dad?’ Alex asked slowly, like he couldn’t quite believe that’s what Michael asked. ‘No, not really.’ Alex continues. ‘It was fine, he’s back to New Mexico now.’

‘Right, that’s good.’ Michael said, he was a little surprised Alex admitted that he hadn’t had a good time with his dad, but he supposed his reaction to the mere thought of his father being around was enough to have made Michael not believe him if he’d said it was fun.

‘Are you at the Garden already?’ Alex asked, clearly read to move away from the subject of his father.

‘Yeah, I’ve been here for a few hours, I’m on break now.’ Michael lied, he wasn’t technically on break yet, but it was close enough. ‘You ready for Ottawa?’ The Bruins were playing the Senators tonight as the second part of their back to back.

‘Of course, the Sens suck.’ Alex said, the words were confident, but Michael could still hear the hint of anxiety in his voice.

‘You’re going to be awesome. First point in your first game, first goal in your second game. I’m calling it.’ Michael said, trying to send every last bit of confidence he had towards Alex.

‘Don’t jinx me.’ Alex groaned. ‘How did you sleep?’ He asked and this was where Michael realized Alex didn’t really have a reason to be calling him. There was no point to this conversation, other then having the conversation, hearing the others voice. ‘Okay, I’m just going to assume, not that well.’

‘Sorry, spaced out.’ Michael flinched at himself. God, he needed to pay attention. ‘You’re right, I didn’t sleep well.’

‘Me either. It was weird being alone in the apartment now. I even missed your loud as fuck snores.’ Alex said with an audible smile.

‘I _do not snore_.’ Michael gasped and Alex laughed. It was one of those genuine laughs that made Michael’s heart feel like it was trying to flutter out of his chest. It was fucking ridiculous.

‘Whatever you say.’ Alex said, but he was still kind of laughing. Michael huffed in pretend annoyance. ‘Listen, I’ve got to run. I’ll see you at the Garden.’

‘Yeah, see ya.’ Michael answered before disconnecting the call.

 

They didn’t get a chance to really catch up, but the difference in Alex was clearly noticeable. Not just in the way he moved around the locker room, but his first period was like night and day with the game the day before. Alex was a menace, in the best way possible. He hunted the puck like it was the last bite of blueberry pancake. He dished out hits whenever he got the chance and within five minutes, Michael’s prediction came true.

Michael found himself standing up as Alex broke free from the defenseman hunting him and with a move Michael could barely follow, he was suddenly one on one with the goalie. The Garden shook as Alex put the puck in the back of the net. The pure joy on his face as he was swarmed by his teammates was breath-taking. Michael grinned like a lunatic.

And he didn’t stop there, the whole team seemed like they were being pulled along by the pure radiance of Alex. Max scored three minutes later off a nice pass from Kyle. The smile on Max’s face said that he realized just as well how special the energy was right there and then. Alex scored his second goal four minutes into the second period. A shot that was redirected off a Sen’s stick and went in. It wasn’t as pretty, but that didn’t matter, it counted.

This was, sadly, also when the Senators seemed to realize Alex was running circles around them. Michael noticed how their aggression and frustration started to be aimed more and more towards the black and gold jersey with 88 on the back. Alex though, didn’t seem bothered. He responded to any and all challenges, slashes, trips and other nasty business with an attitude that only served to piss the Sens off even more.

When Alex scored his third, Michael was certain the TD Garden would collapse with how it shook. He couldn’t resist ducking into the tunnel just so he could hear how loud it truly was. He watched from the shadows as hats were thrown on the ice from all over. And Alex? Alex was in the middle of a huddle of players, being patted and pushed and poked, he looked about as beautiful as anything Michael had ever seen. He needed a moment.

So as the clock wound down to another Bruins win and on Alex’s break out game, Michael kept his distance, he disappeared back into the locker room and focussed on getting the room ready for the celebration that was no doubt going to happen. A shut out for Noah and a hattrick for Alex, yeah there would be a lot of hollering and articles of clothing flying around.

As the final buzzer sounded, Michael realized one more thing. The moment Alex’s dad had left Boston, it seemed like Alex had been freed, like whatever had been dragging him down the game before had been put in a little metal coffin with wings, and had been flown back to the desert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaah, so we don't actually see Jesse Manes. I have an idea for how I want Michael to meet him for the first time, and that isn't right now. Don't worry (or I guess do) he'll be back soon enough. Also, now that Michael has really been slapped in the face with how gone he is for Alex, it's about time for him to do something about it, don't you think? 
> 
> Oh and yes, Alex is The Best Hockey Player Ever, obviously. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight (much like Isobel)


	7. I can't decide if it's a choice, getting swept away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle pushes the wrong button, Isobel is the new Sherlock and Alex likes it when Michael wears his clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been on such a roll with this story, I can't stop writing!  
> After the last chapter with all of the anxiety about Jesse showing up and such, I wanted to make this a lot softer and fluffier (is that a word?). 
> 
> Did I succeed entirely? Meh, I can't seem to resist letting Jesse Manes' influence hover over Alex like an annoying musquito that won't leave you alone. We should buy Alex something like a fly swatter?

Alex regretted going running the morning before his debut. He shouldn’t have done it, but the moment he’d woken up at five, he’d felt so overwhelmed and terrified, he had just given in to the urge to run. That wasn’t necessarily the part he regretted, the part he regretted was going running for as _long_ as he did. Because now, as they stood around the airport waiting to be allowed to board their flight to head to Toronto, Alex’s legs felt like they were about to give way.

His long run, the back to back games. It had taken a toll on his legs and he felt stupid, looking back on it. Also, getting in a fight in his debut hadn’t exactly been in the plan. Ian O’Hare was a former Bruins prospect, one that had ended up in Ottawa, and he was fucking annoying. He’d sneered and sniped at anyone he could, all game. He wasn’t even that good, so Alex didn’t know where the attitude came from. He’d chirped back and otherwise kept his distance, not wanting to get into trouble in his first game, but when O’Hare had shoved Kyle head first into the boarding, Alex had lost his shit a little.

Another thing he’d learned during his childhood? How to take a punch. That had certainly helped during the fight. The five plus two penalty he’d picked up wasn’t great, but at least he got the crowd on his side, and he got the ball rolling.

After the game, his dad’s silence had been enough to make Alex flinch. While other’s were around, he’d smiled and said how proud he was, and how he didn’t mind Alex had a slow start, because he figured it out in the end. All lies. When they’d ended up alone, he’d cornered Alex and made it very clear he wouldn’t accept another game like that. He’d made sure to stress that the only reason he wasn’t giving Alex something to remind him of that, was because he had a game the next day. If he had another game like the one that day though, it wouldn’t matter because he was going to end up hurt. After all, hockey players got injured all the time.

It didn’t really matter that his dad hadn’t physically punched him, because Alex’s brain had sure as hell felt like it had been punched. Technically it had. O’Hare had gotten in a few good hits. He’d been put through the concussion protocol and he’d been cleared. Which was good, because his second game… Alex still smiled thinking about it.

Maybe it was the fact that his dad had been on a plane back to New Mexico when the game had been played. Maybe it was the pure desperate feeling of _I have to be good_. Maybe it was his insane need to prove Michael right. To show him he wasn’t completely useless.

‘Alex.’ Kyle appeared next to him. ‘Have a plane buddy yet?’ Alex shook his head.

‘Nope.’

‘Good, you’re sitting next to me.’ Kyle announced. Alex just nodded, he knew Michael would be traveling with the other equipment guys, and he’d be taking his customary spot next to Sanders. Michael had insisted he couldn’t change that now, because the Bruins had been doing really well when Michael sat next to Sanders on the plane. Alex’s superstitious athlete brain had agreed immediately that Michael shouldn’t change his seating.

They were finally allowed to get on the plane, and Alex fell into his seat with a happy sigh. Kyle had motioned for him to take the window seat and Alex appreciated it. When the plane lifted off, Alex realized it may have been a tactical move.

‘So, I wanted to ask you something.’ Kyle said, undoing his seatbelt and facing Alex. There was something serious about Kyle that Alex didn’t see often, it made him nervous.

‘Okay.’ Alex said slowly.

‘What’s the deal with your dad?’ Kyle asked, Alex fought to keep his face blank.

‘What do you mean?’ He asked.

‘Just, what’s his deal, he seemed super cold.’ Kyle said with a frown on his face. Alex felt like trying to crawl out of the little window at his back.

‘Just because you’re practically best friends with your dad doesn’t mean we all are, Valenti.’ Alex snapped, keeping his voice down to avoid any others thinking they should have an opinion on this.

‘You do realize I notice you only call me Valenti when you don’t want to talk about something, right?’ Kyle said and Alex wanted to punch him.

‘Stop psychoanalyzing me.’ Alex said, he was getting angry now.

‘What the hell are you two doing over there?’ Max turned around in the seat before them and frowned as he peaked over the edge.

‘Nothing. Kyle was just shutting up.’ Alex said before crossing his arms and turning away from him, he stared out of the window as if the clouds had personally offended them.

‘Alex.’ Kyle said softly after about five minutes of tense silence. He sounded like he was talking to a frightened animal, and it only served to piss Alex off further.

‘ _What_?’

‘I’m sorry. I was just worried.’

‘Well stop. I’m fine.’ Michael asking about stuff like this was one thing. He seemed to understand to some degree. Michael knew when to stop pushing.

Luckily it was a short flight to Toronto. Alex decided he was allowed to act like a child for a little bit longer, so he refused to speak to Kyle until they started warmups. Michael noticed something was wrong pretty much right away. He gave Alex a questioning look, but Alex just shook his head. He’d let this go before the game. He wasn’t about to let this effect his performance.

‘You can stop looking like a kicked puppy now.’ Alex said to Kyle as they stepped onto the ice at the Air Canada Centre.

‘ _I_ can stop looking like a kicked puppy? You look like a petulant five year old.’ Kyle chirped back. It was his “I’m purposefully trying to annoy you” voice. He was clearly ready to let this go too.

‘You should really come up with something better if you want to be of any use tonight.’ Alex said as he started his lap around the ice, the fans were still coming in and there was an overwhelming sea of Leafs blue around.

‘Are you suggesting my only use is chirping at people?’ Kyle asked, pushing to keep up with Alex.

‘No, I’m not _suggesting_ anything. I’m _saying_ your only use is chirping people.’ Alex said with a grin, Kyle responded by checking Alex into the glass. He went easily and laughed. ‘Is that all you’ve got?’

They fell back into their normal pre-game rituals after that. Alex wouldn’t pretend he wasn’t still a little annoyed at Kyle for deliberately cornering him like he had, but it wasn’t important right now, Kyle seemed to have gotten the message.

It was only his third NHL game, and he felt like this was going to be a deciding one. His first game had been a mess, his second game had been a dream. That was a fifty/ fifty chance of him being horrible. That was too much, he needed to pull the stats in his favour. Toronto wasn’t the easiest team to do that against. They had a fast, young, creative core, with a few hard hitting vets. In a way, they were a team build a lot like the Bruins.

The game was kind of a whirlwind. Alex scored in the first, got a bullshit penalty in the second and almost got hit in the face by a puck in the third. They come of the ice with a 1-2 win that was too close for comfort.

‘Pff, those Leafs are a pain in the ass aren’t they?’ Kyle grumbled as they ended up back in the locker room.

‘At least we won.’ Max said, putting his stick in the rack and running a hand through his hair, his helmet already ditched somewhere else.

Alex pulled his phone from his bag after he got rid of his gloves, stick and helmet. To his surprise he had a text from Chris. Chris was probably the only one of his brothers he didn’t want to punch after spending more then five minutes around them.

He’d send Alex a screenshot of the picture of him with the three pucks of his hattrick.

_Chris Manes: Sorry I’m late, congrats baby brother. Great game._

‘Girlfriend?’ Kyle popped up next to him. Alex rolled his eyes.

‘No, my brother.’

‘Why wasn’t he at the game?’ Alex looked at Kyle disbelievingly. Was he seriously back to asking Alex about his family already?

‘He’s in the Air Force.’ Alex explained in the shortest way possible.

_Thanks, stay safe._

Kyle seemed to get the hint and patted him on the shoulder before moving off as he pulled off his jersey.

‘Another game, another goal huh? Is this going to be a trend?’ A reporter asked, appearing on Alex’s other side. Alex blinked at him.

‘I don’t know.’ He said, on guard. Reporters always made him feel like they were trying to trick him into saying something he shouldn’t. ‘The last two games have been good ones for me, but it’s still early.’

The reporter was stopped from asking any more questions by a furious Maria who herded him back to the others with a look so sharp Alex was surprised the reporter didn’t drop dead on the spot. Alex fought not to grin at the pathetic attempt by the man not to look frightened of her.

They flew back to Boston the same night. All of them had agreed they preferred to sleep in their own beds. When they arrived back at Logan Airport at almost one o’clock in the morning, Alex was about ready to fall asleep. That’s probably why he was startled by the blond woman that approached him.

‘Hey, you’re Alex Manes right?’ He looked at her, trying to figure out if he knew her.

‘Yes, hi.’ He said, still uncertain.

‘I’m Isobel.’ She said, holding a hand out to him.

‘Ah, Noah’s wife and Michael and Max’s sister.’ Alex said, shaking her hand, she smiled.

‘Yes, that’s me.’ She confirmed, her smile made Alex feel like squirming. He felt like she saw everything.

‘Isobel.’ Michael’s voice sounded behind him, he sounded both happy and nervous at the same time. He stepped past Alex to hug her. He looked tired, but alert, like he was nervous what his sister was going to do.

‘I’m here to pick up Noah.’ She said, even though neither of them asked. ‘We’ve planned a day of Game of Thrones tomorrow, so I need to get him to bed asap.’ Alex smiled.

‘Oh! I’m supposed to start season six tomorrow. I’m really excited for it.’

‘Really?’ Isobel said like that meant something to her, she eyed Michael, who seemed tense for some reason. ‘Who’s your favourite character?’ She asked and Michael started to move before she could even really finish that sentence.

‘Oh look, there is your husband, better go get him before he gets lost again.’ Michael said forcefully, now actively trying to herd his sister away from Alex. He frowned.

‘Michael, stop being so rude.’ He grabbed the back of Michael’s coat and pulled him back from his sister. He was trying to make a good impression for god’s sakes. She grinned at Michael in a way only siblings could.

‘Yes Michael. Stop being so rude.’ She looked at Alex expectantly.

‘Arya. But Jon is a close second.’ Alex said and her eyes lit up like someone had just told her there was officially world peace.

‘Really now?’ She grinned, looking at Michael, and that only confused Alex more. It was way too late for this.

‘Okay. I’m clearly missing something here.’ Alex said as Michael seemed to be trying to convey an entire four page essay with only his eyebrows. ‘It was lovely meeting you, but I’m exhausted and I should really get home. Were you catching a ride with me Michael?’ Michael turned to him looking mildly freaked out.

‘Yes Michael, are you riding with Alex?’ He really didn’t have a clue what was going on right now, especially when Michael blushed scarlet and made several hissing noises at Isobel.

‘I’m just going to head to the car.’ Alex couldn’t stop yawning, he just wanted to go to bed.

‘I’ll be right there.’ Michael said through clenched teeth.

Alex didn’t have to wait long. Michael came jogging up to his truck just a few minutes later. He still looked a little tense, but less so now.

‘I’m not even going to ask.’ Alex said as he closed the passenger door behind him.

‘Good.’ Michael said as he started driving them towards the apartment. They’d told everyone else they were simply carpooling, saving the planet and everything. Alex fell asleep as soon as they left the airport carpark. He was woken up by Michael gently shaking his shoulder. He mumbled something he wasn’t even sure were supposed to be words. He somehow ended up in bed.

 

The next few weeks were a whirlwind. Alex scored a lot more goals, got even more assists and suddenly, everyone seemed to be talking about the Bruins and their 19 year old wonder. The only thing Alex heard from his dad were the ever present texts with the list of things he did wrong after every game. Alex learned quickly that responding with a simple _yes sir, I’ll work on it_ was very effective. Him and Michael finished the sixth season of Game of Thrones, watched the other two High School Musical films and Alex just felt like he fell deeper and deeper into the pit of _holy crap I like him a lot_.

Kyle didn’t ask about his family anymore, but Alex kept feeling like he was watching him closer than before, and it had made him snap at Kyle more then once. It didn’t stop until Michael had a conversation with Kyle. He wasn’t sure what Michael said, but it had effect. Kyle backed off and they were able to go back to the way they’d been before. Well, almost, Alex still felt like he needed to be on his guard, just a little, around Kyle.

As they approached the road trip to the West Coast, including the Coyotes in Arizona, Alex’s dad texted him that he was planning on driving to come see the game, it made Alex’s stomach feel like there was a bunch of bricks being dropped in it. He also mentioned Flint being in town and maybe coming along, which only made Alex’s feeling of dread worse. It was still ten days away though, so Alex refused to let it affect him already.

 

‘That’s insane!’ Alex laughed and he didn’t miss the way Michael looked at him. Sometimes when Alex said or did certain things, he’d get his look of surprise on his face, usually followed by something dangerously close to fond. They were on their own in the equipment room, Alex stayed behind after training to keep Michael company as he had to sort the massive collection of sticks that had been knocked over earlier that day. Alex was leaning against the wall, Michael having insisted he didn’t need Alex to help him, that he needed to rest.

‘I know.’ Michael grinned at him. ‘That’s what made it so much fun.’ Alex knew that they’d been brushing against flirting since they’d first met, but recently they had definitely crossed a line, but Alex was fairly certain they were both terrified of the implications of that.

The NHL had made plenty of positive adjustments towards LGBT+ inclusion over the years, all NHL teams now even hosted a pride night every year and slurs around sexuality were now grounds for a suspension. But there was still no _out_ active players in the NHL. No one wanted to be the first, that went for Alex too. Despite the assurance that the NHL would not accept any discrimination to any LGBT+ player, Alex’ wasn’t sure he really believed them. And it wasn’t just the NHL, it was the teams too. Alex loved Boston, and he loved the Bruins, and he didn’t want that ruined over this. Plus there was the whole problem of his father murdering him if he ever said anything about his _affliction_.

‘Alex? You okay there?’ Michael’s voice snapped him from his thoughts.

‘What? Yes, I’m here, sorry.’ Alex smiled bashfully. ‘Spaced out, what were you saying?’ That was becoming a theme around them as well, spacing out in the middle of a conversation.

‘I asked if your family was coming to the game? The Coyotes are about as close to New Mexico as we get.’ Alex fought not to tense up at the mention of the upcoming road trip, but he knew he failed, Michael and his goddamn all-seeing eyes.

‘Yeah,’ Alex tried to brush over it. ‘my dad is driving there, I’m not sure if my brothers are going to make it.’ Alex had tried to avoid the topic of family as much as possible. He was lucky that Michael didn’t like to talk about that topic either, so they’d mostly avoided it so far while talking about just about everything else. Michael looked like he wanted to say something but stopped himself.

Fuck, now Alex had gone and made this awkward. Why did he always have to go and-

‘You and your dad don’t get along, right?’ Michael’s voice was quiet, clearly trying to give Alex an out. Alex brain stuttered a little. It would be so easy to just be open with him. If anyone was going to understand, it’d be Michael, right?

‘Not really.’ Alex said nervously. ‘We’ve had some disagreements about my _lifestyle choices_.’ It was as close to a confession as Alex had ever gotten and the crippling anxiety that he was expecting, didn’t really come. Michael didn’t stop moving the hockey sticks back into the rack as he replied.

‘Seriously? You’re basically the second coming of hockey Jesus and he wants to bitch at you because you’re into guys?’ Michael said and yeah, Alex’s heart faltered a little at that. He wasn’t expecting Michael to be so _direct_ about it. There must have been something on Alex’s face, because Michael smiled kindly at him as he paused his movements. ‘Don’t worry Alex, I would never say anything about this to anyone, you keep my secrets, I keep yours, right?’

‘What secrets of yours do I know?’ Alex asked, his voice embarrassingly chocked up. Michael hesitated.

‘Well, you are the only one that knows I was homeless for a while.’ He hesitated again. ‘And there’s this guy I like, and I hadn’t really had a crush on a guy before, but he’s just…he screws me up, man.’ Michael said, looking at Alex with such an open and vulnerable expression that Alex felt a little bit like crying.

‘Oh, well, what a lucky guy.’ Alex said, smiling through the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. Michael laughed, the sound also just a little watery.

‘He could be luckier.’ He grinned, the whole flirty vibe being diminished just a little by his shaking hands and the hopeful look on his face.

‘Really now?’ Alex asked and Michael stepped closer to him, that’s when Alex realized Michael was wearing _his shirt_. The shirt he’d borrowed ages ago, when he’d first stayed the night in Alex’s guestroom. He was stunned it had taken him this long to realize Michael was wearing his damn shirt. The wave of _want_ at the thought of Michael wearing his clothes was overwhelming.  

‘Yeah, if he’d want to.’

‘Are you wearing my shirt?’ Alex asked, voice still far too chocked up to be casual. Michael looked down at the shirt he was wearing and shrugged. Then he looked up at Alex through his lashes and how the hell was he supposed to resist that? It was only later that he’d realize the sharp intake of breath was him as Michael closed the space between them. The first brush of lips was tentative, Michael exhaled softly and started to back off again, but Alex wasn’t about to leave it at that. So he slid his hand into Michael’s curls and pulled him closer. Michael settled one hand on the wall besides Alex’s head as they kissed again. All hesitation seemed to have been kicked to the curb.

It was better then Alex could ever have imagined. Michael’s curls were soft and silky between his fingers, his hands were work-rough and felt insanely good against Alex’s cheek. Michael kissed him like he was trying to drown himself in Alex, and he understood the feeling. Right there and then Alex decided there was no way this was a _sickness_. A sickness could never feel so right. Michael pulled back just a little, resting his forehead against Alex’s and Alex was a little proud of how heavy Michael’s breathing was.

‘Why did that take us so long?’ Michael whispered. Alex laughed softly and shrugged, his one hand was resting on Michael’s hip.

‘Don’t know.’ Alex said, the wonder in Michael’s eyes made him feel all kinds of weak and they really shouldn’t be doing this in the equipment room of the Bruins training facility. Alex took a deep breath. ‘We should go home.’

‘Yeah. We should.’ Michael sounded breathless and Alex felt the same. There was a sort of bone-deep relief that settled into Alex’s soul. Neither of them were freaking out. Alex had expected himself to at least have some sort of panicked reaction, but there was just nothing. Just a quiet that Alex had only ever felt on the ice.

The ride home was filled with an entirely new sort of tension. Michael kept his eyes firmly on the road as he spoke.

‘Does this feel the same for you?’ It was almost like he was trying to scare Alex away by starting to talk about _feelings_. ‘Like something serious, like we’ve just connected. Connected like something…'

‘Cosmic?’ Alex offered, thinking back to what Mimi DeLuca had said to him months ago.

‘Yeah, something cosmic.’ Michael agreed quietly.  

‘I do feel that too. If I hadn’t, I would have been long gone.’ Alex admitted and when Michael looked confused, he decided to elaborate. ‘Before, whenever I developed feelings for a guy, I’d run like hell. I didn’t want these feelings to be there. They scared me, so I ran. With you, it’s different, you still scare the hell out of me, but I’ve never thought about running away from you. I guess it’s that cosmic connection.’ Michael stayed quiet as he drove the car into the garage. For a second, Alex thought he’d pushed too hard. Like his admission had been too much. But then Michael turned the car off, and turned to him. The look on his face said enough.

‘Shit Alex. You can’t say stuff like that while I’m driving.’ He looked wrecked, on the verge of tears, in fact. Alex could feel his own eyes widen. He hesitated, should he try to make a joke?

‘If we’re going to keep bursting into tears every time the other says something meaningful or nice, maybe this is not such a good idea.’ Alex said, watching Michael closely for his reaction. He looked at Alex for a beat and then smiled, no _grinned_. He leant over and kissed Alex soft and quick and yep, Alex could get used to this.

‘Inside.’ Alex said as he pulled back.

‘Yeah. Inside.’ Michael agreed, Alex tried not to run as they made their way up to the apartment, but the giddy feeling in his stomach was making it hard to keep his cool. Michael was making it hard to keep his cool. He barely made it inside the door before Michael was pressing him against it. It fell shut with a loud thud, but Alex didn’t even pretend to care, not when Michael stepped in close and bushed his scarred hand past Alex’s cheek. Alex’s eyes fell closed as Michael kissed his nose, a soft laugh brushed past Alex’s skin. He felt lightheaded.

‘You know what I think?’ Alex said softly.

‘What?’ Michael asked, Alex blinked his eyes open. Lit from behind like this, Michael looked like a goddamn angel.

‘I think we need to get you a Manes jersey.’

‘You just like it when I wear your clothes.’ Alex just shrugged. So what if he did. Michael backed off slowly.

‘Yeah, I think I should get an 88 jersey. I gotta represent my favourite player, right?’ He shrugged.

‘Of course.’ Alex said.

He wasn’t entirely sure how, but they ended up on the couch, wrapped up in each other. Michael was laying on his back, Alex half draped over him, his head resting over Michael’s heart. His fingers had been tracing patterns over the bare skin of Michael’s arm. Alex smiled when he saw the goosebumps appear. When Michael laughed, Alex could almost feel the sound more than he could hear it.

It was barely past nine o’clock, but Alex couldn’t stop yawning. He hadn’t slept that well for the last few days and with the busy schedule the Bruins had in the upcoming five days, he could do with some extra rest.

‘So, where are you sleeping tonight?’ Alex asked. He could feel Michael lift his head and awkwardly look at him. He could feel the muscles of Michael’s stomach tense under his hand.

‘What do you mean?’ Alex lifted his head and put his chin down on Michael’s chest so he could look at him.

‘I mean, do you want to sleep in your room, or mine?’ He’d meant it as a completely innocent proposal. He really was just talking about _sleeping_ , but Michael blushed so deeply, it was pretty clear he had some other thoughts in his mind. Alex tried to fight his grin, and gave up. ‘I was just talking about sleeping, Guerin. Get your mind out of the gutter.’

‘I wasn’t- I didn’t-‘

‘I’m not that easy, my good sir.’ Alex said, doing his best impression of a Victorian lady. ‘You will have to ask for my hand in marriage before I will lay down with you, those are the vows that God requires of me.’ He wasn’t even sure if the sentence made any sort of sense, but it didn’t matter. Michael stopped looking like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole and he laughed.

‘Well, that’s convenient, I was going to propose anyways.’ He knew Michael was kidding, but he wasn’t entirely opposed by the idea of getting married one day.

‘Well, when you do, you better get me a ring.’

‘Excuse me, you’re the one that is going to be making the big bucks, _you_ get _me_ a ring!’ Michael protested.

‘Hey, you were the one saying you were going to propose, not me.’ Alex shrugged half-heartedly and then got up, making sure not to elbow Michael in the stomach. ‘Now, I’m tired. Are you coming to bed or what? Or were you serious about protecting my virtue?’ Michael rolled his eyes, he looked like the vision of comfort on that couch, languid and lazy.

‘Alright, you’re bossy.’ Michael said, pushing himself up off the couch as well. He groaned dramatically. Alex smirked at him.

‘You have no idea.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to point out that I usually don't write kissy stuff, I never quite know how, but they had to kiss at this point. My notes for this chapter literally just said: KISS, KISS, KISS. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight.


	8. I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex doesn't sleep well without Michael there, Flint is a dick and Alex is fucking brave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. As it turns out, I can write a chapter a day, as long as I have the day off. 
> 
> I re-read this while watching a Champions League match, not my best choice ever, but I really wanted to get this up today.

Michael spend the next week sleeping like a baby. As it turned out, he just needed Alex right there with him. For the first time in a long time, he actually needed his alarm to make sure he got up in time for work. He didn’t even care that Alex always ended up with his ice cold feet against Michael’s legs, or that he hogged the blankets, or that particularly memorable night when he’d put his absolutely freezing fingers against Michael’s bare stomach and he’d practically leapt out of bed. That was something they learned too, Michael ran hot, Alex was always cold.

What he did mind, was that this particular night when he came home late after a dinner with Max and Is (she kept giving him knowing looks), Alex was already in bed and was clearly having a nightmare. He was curled on his side, face scrunched up, making soft sounds of distress. Michael did the first thing that came to mind, which in hindsight may not have been the smartest thing to do. He took two quick steps forward and set his hand on Alex’s shoulder.

‘Alex, hey, you’ve got to-‘ Alex woke up fighting, a wild thrash of limbs, one of which caught Michael right in the nose, he stumbled back and landed on his ass with a thud. ‘Ow, fuck!’ He exclaimed. Alex was sitting up ramrod straight in bed, looking disoriented and panicked. His eyes flew around the room, looking for danger. Then, his wide eyes focussed on Michael, who’s hand came back bloody after he’d touched his nose.

‘Michael?’ Alex whispered.

‘Yeah, hey honey, I’m home.’ Michael said in a pretty sad attempt at humour. Alex barely even seemed to register he said anything. He scrambled off the bed in a burst of panicked movements, he ended up on his knees in front of Michael who hadn’t really moved.

‘I- I hurt you?’ Alex said, reaching out to Michael but stopping half way, letting his hand hover in the air.

‘I’m fine, it was an accident.’ Michael said softly, he needed to get something for his nose, his hand wasn’t really doing the trick.

‘I hurt you.’ Alex repeated, horrified this time.

‘Alex, it was an accident, it’s fine.’ Michael pressed, he reached out to Alex, trying to assure him he was fine, but Alex _flinched_ away from him.

‘I _hurt_ you.’ Alex’ voice shuddered as he backed away from Michael, he recognized the exact moment Alex wanted to run.

‘Alex, please.’ Michael said, scrambling to his feet. There was blood all over his hand now, his bad hand, that made him sway for a second. ‘It’s okay.’ He said, but his voice was shaking now. ‘Please don’t leave.’

There was something much, much deeper going on here, but Michael felt like all his brain could think was: _Don’t let him leave_. If he left, he was not coming back. Alex looked like he was being driven into a corner and that was the last thing Michael was trying to do. He stepped to the side, so he wasn’t blocking the door.

‘I need to go.’

‘No, you don’t. I’m not angry, I don’t blame you. It was an _accident_.’ Michael said, Alex was literally swaying on his feet. He looked incredibly young in the oversized sweater and sweatpants he was wearing. When Alex startled into movement and headed for the door, Michael didn’t try to stop him. He was expecting to be punched in the gut by the sound of the front door, but it didn’t come.

Alex came back into the room, slowly, but surely, holding a wad of paper towels. He handed them to Michael with shaking hands. His jaw was clenched tight, and he wouldn’t look Michael in the eyes, but he hadn’t left. He’d stayed.

‘Thanks.’ Michael said quietly as he pressed the paper towels against his nose. He was pretty sure it had almost stopped bleeding at this point.

‘You should put some ice on it, stop the swelling.’ Alex said, his voice was doing that thing it did when he was desperately trying to make it sound level. Michael went to put his head back. ‘No, put your head forward, otherwise the blood will end up in your throat. Just pinch the soft part of your nose for a bit and breathe through your mouth.’ Michael sat down on the edge of the bed and did what Alex told him to. ‘I’ll get you some ice.’

Alex disappeared from the room again. Michael realized they’d just had some sort of moment. Something had happened to trigger Alex’s flight instinct, and there was more to it then accidentally smacking Michael in the face. Alex reappeared with a bag of ice, he handed it to Michael, who set it on his nose with a flinch.

‘Do you think it’s broken?’ He asked, voice muffled by his hand and the awkward angle.

‘I don’t think so, but I’ll look at it later. Just stay like this for a bit.’ Alex said, he sat down on the edge of the bed as well. Not as close as Michael would have liked, but he could have reached over and touched him if he wanted to. He didn’t. He still couldn’t get the image of Alex flinching away from him out of his head. That one had hurt the most.

‘Do you want to tell me what you were dreaming about?’ Michael broke the heavy silence. He knew the answer before he asked it, but it didn’t hurt to try.

‘No.’ Alex said like he knew exactly what Michael was thinking. It was good though, to hear some of Alex’s personality come drifting back to the surface.

‘Okay.’ Michael simply said. ‘Can I take my hand off my nose yet? This is really awkward.’ He was desperately trying to break the tension now. His nasal voice was helping a little.

‘Has it stopped bleeding?’ Alex asked. Michael took his hand off his nose and checked to see if his fingers came back with any fresh blood on them. They didn’t.

‘Yeah, I think so.’

‘Keep the ice on it for a bit longer.’ Alex said and Michael whined.

‘But it’s cold.’

‘That’s the point, genius.’

When Alex finally deemed him clear to take the ice off, Michael also made sure to wash his hands thoroughly. It had been a long time since he’d washed blood off his hands, but he still remembered how to do it. When he came back to the bedroom, Alex was still sitting on the edge of the bed, hands set next to him, looking at a point on the wall. Michael moved to his side of the bed and sat down. His nose was still sore, but he’d had worse.

‘Come on Alex. Let’s get some sleep.’ Michael tried, slipping off his shirt carefully.

‘I’m not tired anymore.’ Michael sighed as he ditched his jeans on the floor, a tomorrow problem.

‘Yes you are. Come on.’ Michael slipped under the covers and tugged at the back of Alex’s sweater. ‘Alex, please.’ Alex sighed, but he joined Michael in bed anyways, his back turned to him. Michael had trouble falling asleep that night for the first time since he’d started sleeping in Alex’s room. It wasn’t until Alex turned around and cuddled up to Michael, that he finally fell asleep.

 

Things were a little more tense after that. They were still good together, but the secrets still between them had been shoved to the forefront of both their minds. Michael’s nose was tender for a few more days, but because of Alex’s treatment, you could barely see anything had happened at all. In the two games between the incident and when they left for their West Coast road trip, Alex went into a bit of a slump. The goals stopped, his passes didn’t connect and the media went from praising him into the high heavens to questioning if it was all a fluke. Like a two month period where he tore through the entire NHL was a fluke. Luckily both coach and his teammates were solid in defending Alex. They answered any and all questions about Alex and his effectivity with something along the lines of “he’s young, he’ll figure it out.”

When they arrived in Glendale, Michael could feel Alex’ tension ramp up to a ten. When they entered the arena, Maria appeared at Alex’s side.

‘Hey Alex, there’s a guy in an Air Force uniform here, he says he’s your brother?’ She seemed suspicious and Michael appreciated it.

‘Flint?’ Alex asked with a tired sigh.

‘Yeah, that’s what his ID says.’ Maria confirmed.

‘Yeah, that’s my brother, I wasn’t sure if he was going to make it.’ Alex shrugged. He seemed about as excited to see his brother as he had seemed to see his father. ‘Was my dad with him?’ Maria frowned.

‘No I didn’t see your dad.’ Alex tilted his head at that, slightly confused look on his face.

‘Would you mind?’ Alex asked.

‘I’ll go get him, you go get ready.’ Maria waved him off. Michael followed Alex towards the visitor’s locker room.

‘I thought your dad was going to drive here?’ Michael asked, carefully watching Alex’s reaction.

‘Yeah, I thought so too.’ Alex said with a shrug much too tense to be as casual as he meant it. ‘Maybe he changed his mind.’

Alex liked talking about his brothers about as much as he liked talking about his father. Which was about as much as Michael liked talking about his hand. Michael was making sure everyone had everything when Maria let a tall, burly guy in a military uniform into the locker room. Several of the players seemed confused, but Michael’s eyes were on Alex immediately as he sighed, faked a smile and said:

‘Hey Flint.’ The guy looked like Alex in some ways, but he didn’t have any of the softness that Alex seemed to have.

‘Little brother.’ Flint grinned. Michael immediately disliked him. Alex seemed to make sure he was busy, so he didn’t have to hug his brother.

‘Where’s dad? I thought he’d be here too.’ Alex asked, he seemed to be searching for his undershirt. Michael could see it where it had dropped under the bench.

‘He couldn’t make it.’ Flint shrugged. Alex didn’t look all that disappointed by that.

‘Why not?’ Alex asked, he still hadn’t found his undershirt and Michael decided to just go do his job and help him out.

‘Didn’t ask.’ Flint shrugged.

‘It’s under the bench.’ Michael said, Flint turned his eyes to Michael and he did not like the way he was looking at him.

‘Thanks Michael.’ Alex said as he fished the shirt from the floor.

‘Aren’t you going to introduce me?’ Flint asked obnoxiously. Alex rolled his eyes.

‘Flint, this is Michael Guerin. Michael, my brother Flint.’ Alex waved his hand between them vaguely.

‘I hope he’s not usually this rude to you.’ Flint said as he shook Michael’s hand with just a little too much pressure. Michael frowned, the need to defend Alex was very strong apparently.

‘Alex isn’t rude. We’re friends actually.’ He could see Alex tense from the corner off his eye. He’d apparently said something he shouldn’t have.

‘Really. Making friends huh?’ Flint said to Alex with a surprisingly tight expression on his face, he was still smiling, but it was clearly fake. ‘Be careful who you let close to you Alex. You never know who you can really trust, especially when everything you touch turns to gold.’

Michael was confused as to what the fuck that was supposed to mean.

‘What?’ Alex said in that very dangerous tone he’d only ever heard once before. Flint just smiled.

‘Good luck brother.’ He smacked Alex against the shoulder with a little too much force and headed out of the locker room.  

‘You okay Manes?’ Michael asked. Alex looked at him without bothering to try and hide his anger.

‘What a fucking dick.’ Michael was going to take that as a no.

‘I’m confused.’ Michael admitted. Alex smiled vaguely at him.

‘He’s just trying to rile me up.’

‘Well let’s not let him.’ Michael said, patting Alex on his back before moving off to see where the hell Kyle had left his helmet.

Alex did okay in the game, he got of a few good shots, but the goalie was on a roll, so he stopped them all. Kyle managed to somehow get a puck in the net, but the Coyotes scored a solid three goals on Noah. So they left the building a little grumpier then before. Alex didn’t try to find his brother again. The headed to LA next, where they managed to _just_ get a win over the Kings, beating them in overtime. They moved on to the Ducks, where they got their asses whooped again, and finally they picked up a decent 3-2 win over the Sharks. Michael felt like he had whiplash.

As they flew back to Boston, they were still in first in the Atlantic but the Lightning were crawling closer. Michael wasn’t worried yet. Alex would find his groove again, Noah would go back to being the brick wall he was, and they’d be fine. He had faith.

 

‘-no but seriously, it was a fucking shitshow from start to finish!’ Michael said heatedly as Alex opened the door of the apartment. They were discussing last night’s game against the Flyers, it had been _another_ tough loss. He followed Alex inside and turned to watch his reaction.

‘Yeah it was, I know that, I was there.’ Alex grinned, he turned his head to Michael. ‘It went sideways from the-‘ Alex froze. The easy smile dropping from his face like someone had slapped him. Michael tensed as well, he was just about to ask what was wrong when there was a voice behind him.

‘Hello Alex.’ Michael kept watching Alex as he attempted to school his features into something that didn’t scream that he’d gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

‘Hi dad.’ Alex replied. Michael turned around, going for casual, but he couldn’t quite release the tension in his shoulders. Alex was scared, and that scared Michael.

‘Who is your friend?’ When Michael ended up face to face with Alex’s father for the first time, he understood.

The man looked cold. He was tall, he wasn’t overly muscular, but he looked like he could handle himself. But that wasn’t really the intimidating part. It was how he held himself. He stood like he knew he was in charge and wouldn’t accept anything but “yes sir” and like not following his orders would result in pain. He reminded Michael of every horrible foster parent he’d ever had, with his cold eyes and even colder smile. The way he looked at Michael made him want to turn and run. Grab Alex and run.

‘This is Michael Guerin. He’s one of the equipment guys at the Bruins, I accidentally took home a pair of gloves, but they have to put together our gear for the upcoming Canadian road trip, so he offered to pick them up.’ Alex lied like a pro and moved towards his father, placing himself between Michael and the man. He turned to look at Michael, hiding his expression from his father. It went from an impressively calm mask, to a pleading look. ‘I’ll just go get them, so you can get back to work.’

Alex ducked into his room at a pace that told Michael he didn’t want to leave him alone with his father at all.

‘Hello sir, nice to meet you.’ Michael tried, he seemed like the kind of man that would appreciate being called sir.

‘So _you’re_ Michael, nice to meet you too.’ He stepped closer to Michael, and he had to fight not to flinch back at the aggressive vibe he gave off. ‘Staff Sergeant Jesse Manes.’ He held out a hand to Michael that he didn’t want to take. Throwing his rank in Michael’s face, it was a power move if Michael had ever seen one. He wasn’t sure how to take the first comment. Had he heard about Michael somehow?

‘Michael Guerin.’ He introduced himself because that seemed like the polite thing to do, he shook Manes’ hand for as short as manners allowed him to. Alex appeared back in the room, his father now had his back to him. The flash of fear on Alex’s face told Michael there was so much more going on here then he’d ever imagined. No, that wasn’t true. There was so much more going on then Michael had _hoped_ there was. He’d let Alex fool him even though he _knew_ something wasn’t right.

‘Here they are.’ Alex said, tone perfectly level and face pulled back in the casual mask that, now that Michael had seen him crack, really wasn’t working anymore.

‘Thanks Alex.’ Michael said, accepting the gloves from him. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, make sure to get some sleep.’ He smiled. ‘It was nice to meet you mister Manes.’ He could have called him Staff Sergeant, but he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, so he didn’t.

‘Nice to meet you too.’ Manes said, but his eyes told a completely different story. Michael headed towards the door, because that was clearly the message Alex was trying to send. Whatever was going on here, Alex didn’t want Michael around for it, and that scared the hell out of him. He would have refused, but he didn’t want to give something away that would put Alex in more danger. Because that’s what this felt like. Danger.

‘Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye Michael.’ Alex said, following him to the door and opening it for him so Michael could leave. The smile Alex gave him before he closed the door was probably supposed to be reassuring, but it only made Michael feel sick.

As soon as he turned the corner of the hallway, Michael pulled out his phone.

_Please call me later, I need to know if you’re okay._

Michael held onto the gloves tightly as he left the apartment building. Where the hell was he supposed to go now?

_Alex Manes: Go to Liz, get some sleep, I’ll be fine._

His phone buzzed in his hand. It didn’t make him feel better. Not even a little bit.

_Alex Manes: Just do it, we’ll talk tomorrow. I promise._

Michael ditched the gloves in his truck. Michael’s walk to Liz’ apartment felt like he was walking through a nightmare. He’d just left Alex with his dad. Alone. While he’d clearly been scared of the man, of what he was going to do. What kind of _coward_ was he? He stopped dead in his tracks in the middle of the sidewalk. He could feel the panic rising in his chest. He pulled his phone from his pocket with shaking fingers.

‘Hello?’ Liz sounded confused as she answered.

‘Liz, I need your help.’ Michael said and he knew he sounded wrecked.

‘What’s wrong?’ Liz asked, voice tight immediately.

‘Alex’s dad is here and he seemed really scared of him, and he told me to leave but I’m fucking worried. Can’t you call him or something? He told me to go to you, but I can’t believe I left him there. I just left him there!’ Michael’s voice got progressively more panicked and a lady going the other way looked at him like he was crazy. Fuck her.

‘Okay. First, deep breath Michael.’ Liz said and Michael did as he was told. ‘Good. Now, where are you?’ She asked. Michael looked around dazed.

‘A block away from your place.’

‘Okay. Get here, now.’ She commanded and so Michael started moving. When he arrived at the apartment, Liz was waiting for him at the door. She pulled him inside and planted him on her couch firmly. ‘Talk.’ She said before moving into her tiny kitchen. She went to grab him a glass of water. Michael realized he would need to start somewhere around the beginning.

‘I’ve been living in Alex’s guestroom for a few months.’ Liz looked surprised at that, but didn’t comment. ‘I knew he didn’t have the best relationship with his father, but I had no idea what he was really like. I knew he was scared of the man, hell he loses all ability to play hockey when his dad is around. But I met him just now and Liz…’ He trailed off, not sure what to say next.

‘Did he do anything?’ She seemed to understand where he was going.

‘No, if he had I would never have left Alex there, but he told me to leave and I didn’t want to make things worse and I’m such a coward-‘

‘Michael!’ Liz’ sharp lawyer voice was back. ‘If Alex told you to leave, he had a reason for that. Did he say anything else?’

‘I texted him after I left, asking him to call me later so I knew he was okay. He told me he’d be fine, to go to you and get some sleep. How the fuck am I supposed to sleep?’ Michael felt another wave of _panic_ and _overwhelmed_ hit him like a freight train. Suddenly, Liz was next to him, grabbing onto his good hand with a death grip.

‘Michael Guerin.’ She said strictly. ‘Breathe. If you pass out, there’s nothing we can do for Alex.’

‘Okay, yeah, breathing, I can do that.’

‘Good. Now, why would he tell you to go to me?’ She asked.

‘I don’t know. I guess he trusts you.’ Michael said. He could tell that meant a lot to her. She had to take a deep breath of her own.

‘What about his dad freaked you out so much?’ Liz asked. Michael clenched his jaw. He couldn’t really explain it without telling her some of his own history. For Alex.

‘I had quite a few shitty foster parents growing up. I learned pretty quickly how to tell which ones would use their fists to get their point across. Alex’s dad gave me the exact same feeling. And it makes so much fucking sense, looking back on everything.’ Michael could have smacked himself. There had been signs everywhere and he’d ignored them because Alex smiled at him like that.

‘Looking back on what?’ Liz looked like she was ready to murder someone. With her bare hands.

‘Just, the things I’ve seen, the things he’s told me. All of those fucking half-truths.’ Michael felt angry and scared and pissed off and terrified and he just wanted to go get Alex, get on a plane and fuck off to somewhere warm and sunny. ‘I knew something was wrong, and I still let him fool me.’

‘You need to stop blaming yourself. If Alex didn’t want you to know, he wasn’t going to tell you. It wouldn’t have made a difference if you pushed him.’ Liz said. ‘When he met Maria’s mom, she said he had a lot of tragedy in his past, you should have seen his face. Neither me nor Maria asked about it, I think we both knew he wouldn’t have answered anyways.’

‘What are we supposed to do now?’ Michael asked, desperate for Liz to have a solution.

‘I don’t think there’s anything we can do, unless you want to call the police, but on what grounds?’ Liz looked like she was struggling with the answer too. The worst part was that Michael knew she was right.

‘Fuck.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so, remember that soft and sweet fluff in the last chapter? Yeah, I think I lost it. Hopefully I can find it again for the next one.  
> Heads up though, from here on out, shit's going to go down. At least, that's the plan. You never know what plot bunny may bite me.  
> Poor baby Alex, don't worry things will get better for him. The Alex Manes Defence Squad is about to start assembling!


	9. All we are is skin and bone, trained to get along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Michael need to talk, tree frogs and icebags

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who woke up at 5:45 this morning? That's right, this gal. I blame Ajax. I need a hug after that game. Actually maybe we should thank Ajax, because I did finished another chapter.... 
> 
> There's a lot of talking in this one. Neccesary talking, but lots of talking. Also there's some discriptions of violence I guess? Mostly along the lines of canon. Basically Jesse Manes being Jesse Manes and we learn what happened to Michael's hand. I don't think it's too descriptive, but maybe tread carefully if you're sensitive to this stuff.

Alex knew he looked like shit. He hadn’t slept, at all. His father had decided to invite himself to stay the night after making his point to Alex and he had been too afraid of waking up with his dad standing over him to fall asleep. Thank god all of Michael’s stuff had moved into Alex’s room over the last week and a half. After his father had left early that morning, Alex had stood shirtless in front of the mirror, he’d flinched at his own reflection. He didn’t just have bruises littered all over his chest and back, he also had a bruise on his jaw. That one was going to get noticed.

That wasn’t the most worrying part though. The discolouration over the right side of ribs was a deep purple, and it kind of hurt to breathe. He’d had broken ribs before. He had hoped his dad would go easy on him, now that he was actually in the middle of and NHL season. It could have been worse, that was true, but still, it hurt like a motherfucker.

Alex nearly cried as he forced himself to put on his undershirt at home. It covered pretty much all of the marks his dad left, and if he’d tried to put it on in front of others, they never would have let him play. He needed to play. He needed to prove to his dad he wasn’t distracted, that he didn’t need to remove Alex’s distraction from the picture. _You’ve been awful these last few games, Alex. Maybe you’ve been too distracted by your new_ friend. His dad’s voice still rang in his ears.

This was the point where he should have decided that putting Michael in danger wasn’t worth it. This was the point where Alex should have decided to push Michael away, for his own good. But Alex was selfish, and the thought of losing the quiet he only really found around Michael made him want to sob in despair. So, he’d decided to just tell Michael the truth. All of it. If Michael knew what he was getting into, and still decided to stay, Alex could allow himself to keep him around.

But first, Alex had a game to win.

‘Shit Manes, what happened to your face?’ Max asked as Alex entered the locker room. Alex tried not to flinch at all the eyes that were immediately on him.

‘Funny story.’ Alex started. ‘I was walking through my apartment yesterday, looking at my phone and I may or may not have walked into a door.’ Alex had learned a long time ago, that the best way to distract people from asking questions was to tell them a story they wanted to be true. Everyone laughed, except Michael, who looked like he hadn’t slept either, and Kyle, who chuckled vaguely before giving Alex a concerned look.

Alex had a decent game. He got a secondary assist on a goal by Kyle and his ribs didn’t even bother him that much. Well, his movements were definitely restricted somewhat, and Kyle seemed to notice, but he was fine. He was fine up until the moment one of his opponents absolutely crushed him against the boarding, digging his elbow into Alex’s side.

Alex just sort of crumpled down onto his hands and knees, gasping for air. His chest felt like it was on fire. He blinked at the ice. Why was everything going in and out of focus? He vaguely registered a whistle and concerned voices around him.

‘Alex? _Alex_?’

‘Yeah.’ Alex’s voice didn’t sound like it came from his own mouth at all.

‘Ribs?’ The voice asked, he couldn’t quite place it.

‘I’m fine.’ Alex tried to get up but hands stopped him.

‘Just stay down for a second.’ Kyle. He heard Kyle, and another voice. Their athletic trainer.

‘Breathe, slow breaths Alex.’ Their athletic trainer said. Alex did as he was told. Every breath hurt, but his vision did start to clear and he felt less like throwing up by the second.

‘You good?’ Kyle’s voice asked.

‘Yeah.’ Alex breathed out.

‘Okay, we’re going to try and help you up and then get you to the locker room. If you start to feel dizzy tell us.’ The athletic trainer said.

‘Got it.’ Alex confirmed. Hands slipped under his arms and started helping him to his feet. As they planted him back on his skates, Alex swayed a little, but Kyle’s solid hands on his back kept him steady.

They moved him to the locker room. Alex barely registered the applause from the crowd. When he was shuffled into the locker room, Alex’s eyes locked with Michael’s. He really did look awful. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was messier then normal and his skin was pale.

‘You good, Manes?’ Michael asked, it was probably supposed to sound like a concerned friend, but he ended up sounding like someone had slammed _him_ into the boards.

‘We need to check his ribs.’ Alex wasn’t sure what to say to Michael, so he just pulled up one shoulder in a vague attempt to say “I don’t know”. ‘Let’s get this jersey off.’

‘Can you lift your arms?’ Their team doctor asked. Alex had to think about it for a second.

‘Maybe. Probably not.’ Alex admitted.

Doc ended up asking Michael to help them out as they slowly removed Alex from his jersey and his pads. It wasn’t until they started talking about just cutting his shirt off him that he realized what they would find under it.

‘No.’ Alex interrupted the doctor in the middle of a sentence.

‘What? Alex, we need to take a look at you.’ Doc said.

‘No.’ Alex looked up at Michael with a desperate expression.

‘Doc, can you give us a second?’ Michael asked and the doctor looked at him with a frown.

‘They’re good friends, maybe he can talk some sense into him.’ The athletic trainer shrugged, and Alex tried not to panic at the idea that he’d noticed Alex and Michael were close.

‘Fine.’ The doctor said. ‘Five minutes.’ He and the athletic trainer made their way from the locker room, leaving Alex and Michael in a thick silence.

‘You need to let them take a look at you.’ Michael finally said.

‘I can’t.’ Alex said desperately.

‘How bad are they?’ Michael asked. ‘The bruises.’ Alex looked at him. There was an understanding on his face, and Alex hated it. He wanted to deny the whole thing, just keep lying through his teeth until it all fell apart around him, but the lies were already crumbling, weren’t they? Around Michael they were, at least.

‘Pretty bad.’ Alex admitted. Michael nodded, an almost thoughtful look on his face. He let out a deep breath.

‘You’ve played a lot of hard hitting games recently, right? Lot’s of hits in that game against Philly. That big hit you took against the Sharks. You probably thought you were fine, but just now everything just hit you at once, right?’ Michael said, his face was blank, but his eyes were offering Alex an out. He could have cried.

‘Right.’ Alex said, he motioned for the scissors on the bench. ‘Could you?’ He asked, he needed someone he trusted to do this. Not the doc or the athletic trainer. Michael nodded. He wasn’t smiling, he still looked tense and upset, but for now, he was helping Alex get away with his lies.

Alex wasn’t attached to the shirt, which was good, because Michael cut it at the back so Alex could simply let it slip from his arms, unto the floor.

‘Shit, Alex.’ Michael said softly. Alex could feel Michael’s hand brush over his back. The softness of the gesture and the chill in the locker room, made goosebumps appear all over Alex’s skin. ‘We’ll talk tonight, right?’

‘Yeah.’ Alex was not looking forward to it, but he was too far in at this point. There was no turning back now. Michael was helping him, looking out for him, the least he could do was tell him the truth.

Doc was angry with Alex. He gave him an entire five minute lecture about how he shouldn’t just keep soldiering on with bruises like this, how he should have let them check him out sooner. How he needed to think further ahead. They told him there was no way they were letting him back on the ice and instead they made him get x-rays of his chest.

The doctors determined that his ribs were not broken, or cracked. They said he had several bruised ribs. Their estimate was that he’d be out for three to six weeks. Alex decided he’d make it back in two. The Bruins told him they’d call up a different prospect to take his place and Alex tried not to freak out about it.

He ended up on their couch, shirtless, because _fuck_ it hurt to lift his arms over his head and with ice pressed against his aching ribs. He tried not to pout as he set the TV to some sort of documentary about tree frogs. He liked tree frogs. It didn’t take long for the door to open and Michael to come into the apartment. Alex made himself get up, he ditched the ice in the kitchen and went up to Michael who was taking off his shoes and coat with an exhausted slump to his shoulders.

‘Hey.’ Alex said, it felt almost silly after everything that had happened.

‘Hey.’ Michael turned to him, his eyes drifted down Alex’s torso, for once without the appreciation and just with sadness. Alex had to swallow away a wave of emotion, he hated that look on Michael’s face. He was the reason for that look. God he was such an asshole.

‘I’m sorry. I should never have dragged you into this. If you want to leave, that’s fine, I get it, I’ll help you find a place to live, and-‘ Alex was interrupted by Michael’s lips against his. He couldn’t help but sigh and kiss him back. The softness of the whole situation, Michael’s hand resting against Alex’s side, it send a wave of peace through him. Michael rested his forehead against Alex’s.

‘Please stop apologizing.’ He whispered. ‘I’m not mad at you.’ It reminded Alex so much of the incident ten days ago. Seeing Michael, sitting there on the floor with a bloody nose, because of Alex had nearly driven him out of the door. Everything in him had screamed to run, screamed the he was just like his dad. That he hurt the people he loved.

Loved. Oh. That was new.

‘None of this is your fault. I just want you to be honest with me.’ Michael continued, still pressed close to Alex, not aware of the revelation Alex had just had. Alex couldn’t help but stare at Michael for a second. He could feel Michael’s heart beat through his shirt. Alex kissed him, just because he could.

‘We should sit down.’ Alex said, they needed to get comfortable, because this was going to be a _long_ conversation. Michael softly pushed Alex in the direction of the couch.

‘Go sit down, I’ll get you some more ice.’ Alex did what Michael said and carefully put himself down on the couch. ‘Water?’ Michael asked, Alex nodded.

‘Thanks.’ Alex said as Michael put down the glass on the table in front of Alex and handed him a fresh bag of ice. He settled the ice against his side with a hiss. ‘God that’s cold.’

‘That’s the point genius.’ Michael said, the first hint humour back in his voice. Alex couldn’t help but smile as he recognized his own words from ten days ago.

Alex’s smile faded though, as he realized what he was about to tell Michael.

‘Just start at the beginning.’ Michael encouraged him. The narrator in the background was still telling them about how the sticky feet of tree frogs worked. He should probably have turned it off, but he liked tree frogs, and the thought of the silence in the apartment while he spoke made him feel a little sick, so he left it on. Michael didn’t seem to mind at least.

‘My dad and I were never close. Even when I was six, seven years old, we didn’t really get along. Nothing bad, but he was just very strict and cold. Always super domineering, it was his way, or no way. The first time he hit me, I was twelve.’ Alex just started talking, and once he did, it was like he couldn’t stop.

‘Flint had pushed me off the back porch steps and I landed on my arm really awkwardly. It hurt like hell, so I was crying. My dad got super angry, saying how I needed to man up, stop being such a whiny little brat, that it wasn’t that bad. But the more he yelled at me, the more upset I got, and the more upset I got, the angrier he got. Eventually he told me that if I didn’t stop crying about this, he’d give me something to _actually_ cry over. Something that would actually hurt. That’s about when he slapped me.’ There wasn’t a whole lot of emotion in his voice, Alex noticed. He’d thought about that specific moment quite a lot over the years and it didn’t seem like that big of a deal anymore.

‘I had actually fractured my arm, but we didn’t find that out until two days later when my PE teacher demanded someone took me to the hospital, because I almost passed out when I tried to catch a ball. My dad was very angry about this.’

‘He was angry that you broke your arm because your _brother_ pushed you off the porch?’ Michael sounded like he was desperately trying not to get angry. Alex shrugged and immediately regretted the gesture as it pulled on muscles that didn’t want to be pulled.

‘I think he was more angry that this PE teacher didn’t want to accept that I was just being dramatic and there was nothing wrong with me.’ Alex said. He didn’t remember everything from that time, just the general feeling of getting progressively more scared of his dad. ‘After that he would get more and more angry whenever I showed an emotion he didn’t want me to.’ Alex took a deep, painful, breath before continuing. ‘I only figured out later that this was the point my dad realized I was gay. He knew it before I did, and his solution to my _problem_ was to try and beat the gay out of me.’

Alex realized he’d never really said that out loud before. He’d accepted the whole “I’m gay” thing in his brain a while ago, but he hadn’t really said it out loud before. It wasn’t as petrifying as he thought it’d be. Or maybe that was just because he was saying it to Michael. Michael stayed silent, when Alex glanced over at him, he noticed Michael’s hands were shaking.

‘When I was about fourteen, is when _I_ realized I was gay, and that’s when things really went bad. I think his original plan for me was to put me in the Air Force like my brothers, so I could go and die for my country and he wouldn’t have to deal with my sickness anymore. But then one of my hockey coaches said I was very good, like could be in the NHL kind of good. I think he figured he’d found another way to put me in a position to keep me quiet. If I wanted a career in the NHL I’d have to keep my mouth shut.’ At this point, Michael’s jaw was clenched so tight, Alex was afraid he was going to crack his teeth, but he wasn’t done yet, so he kept going.

‘The story I told you about the scar on my back was only partially true. I didn’t trip and fall into the nail that was sticking out. My dad grabbed my by the throat and shoved me into it. I couldn’t clean it myself and he obviously wasn’t about to help me, and that’s how it got infected.’ Alex confessed, his lie to Michael about that particular story had been weighing on his conscious, especially since Michael had been honest with him, or at least, he thought Michael had been.

‘What about when he was here for your debut?’ Michael asked, looking at Alex like he just wanted to know everything, right there and then.

‘He didn’t touch me then.’ Alex said. ‘He threatened me after the game, that if I played as horribly as I did that day, that he’d have to come and teach me another lesson, and that no one would really be surprised if I was out for a bit because hockey players get hurt all the time.’

‘And that’s exactly what’s happening now.’ Michael said, he was frowning and looked like he regretted helping Alex lie to the Bruins. ‘What was his excuse this time?’ Alex hesitated, he’d been completely honest with Michael so far, but did he really want to tell him that his dad had basically used his “friendship” with Michael as an excuse to beat the hell out of him? No more secrets.

‘Well, I haven’t really been playing too well recently, he said he thought I was distracted by my new friend.’ Alex swallowed. ‘That he would _remove_ the distraction from my life if necessary.’ Michael didn’t really seem to register the threat.

‘He used _me_ as an excuse to beat the hell out of you?’ Michael said, his voice got kind of deadly quiet.

‘Apparently he thought I needed motivation.’

‘His idea of motivating you is breaking your ribs so you can’t play for a month?’ Michael asked, he still seemed to be fighting his anger.

‘My ribs aren’t actually broken.’ Michael gave him a look that said _are you kidding me_? ‘Sorry.’ Alex wasn’t sure what to say now. Michael didn’t seem to know either. The narrator was now telling them about the great jumping ability of tree frogs. It filled the silence between them and Alex was glad he didn’t switch it off. Alex went and reached for the glass of water sitting on the table. He forgot about his ribs for a second and flinched around them.

‘A foster father crushed my hand with a hammer.’ Alex dropped the glass. It shattered with a loud crash that made both of them jump. Alex grabbed for his ribs immediately, a wave of pain making him gasp for air.

‘Fuck. Shit. Ow.’ He managed through shallow breaths.

‘Shit, I’m sorry. Are you okay?’ Michael’s hands fluttered around him, trying to help, but seemingly not knowing how.

‘Yes, I just- I need a second.’ Alex said, he attempted to get his breathing under control.

‘I’ll clean this up. Stay on the couch.’ Michael said, pointing sternly at Alex before climbing over the couch and heading to the kitchen.

‘Be careful.’ Alex stayed there, on the couch, trying not to throw up or pass out while Michael cleaned up the water and the glass. Alex felt guilty for not helping him, but he could barely move, let alone crawl around on the floor to make sure he got all the glass. When Michael decided he had everything, and he plopped back on the couch, Alex found himself staring at him.

‘What?’

‘You can’t just say something like that and then not elaborate?’ Alex said, motioning vaguely for Michael’s hand. Michael gave him a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

‘So, yeah. I was about sixteen, and I was living with this guy and his son. We’d become pretty good friends, or I thought so. The dad wasn’t very nice but he usually didn’t take things too far. The only thing he really cared about was this giant, super expensive TV he had. One day, the son and I were messing around in the living room, and he ended up banging into the cabinet, the TV fell and broke. When his dad came home, he blamed it all on me. The dad lost his shit, he worked construction and he just grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on, that happened to be a hammer. He put me through the coffee table and then just smashed my hand.’ Alex felt sick. He wasn’t sure if it was from the lingering pain in his ribs, or the story, but he had a pretty good idea.

That was something he couldn’t understand. How could someone throw someone else under the bus like that. Especially if he knew what the dad was capable of. Especially if that someone was as kind and smart and wonderful as Michael.

‘How did you get out? Why didn’t you go to a hospital?’ Michael looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes.

‘How do you know I didn’t go to a hospital?’ Michael asked.

‘I guessed, with the loss of motion and stuff, I think a hospital might have been able to do something about that.’ Alex shrugged, yet again flinching after it. ‘Goddammit I have to stop doing that.’ He said to himself. Michael actually laughed a little at that. ‘Are you laughing at my misery?’ Alex asked, hoping to get another laugh out of him. They really hadn’t been laughing enough recently.

‘Maybe a little.’ Michael smiled. ‘I didn’t go to a hospital because I didn’t want to go back to the group home, and it wasn’t like I had insurance or anything.’ He shrugged and turned serious again. ‘I have another question.’

‘Go ahead.’ At this point Alex didn’t think there was anything Michael could ask that he wouldn’t answer. He knew just about everything at this point.

‘Your dad recognized my name?’ Michael asked.

‘Flint probably went and told him.’ Alex shrugged. It seemed like that was somewhat of a final drop for Michael.

‘Okay what _the fuck_ is wrong with him?’ Michael exclaimed. ‘Are you seriously trying to tell me that he never realized anything about what a piece of shit your dad is?’ He got up, suddenly a ball of righteous energy, as he started pacing along the couch.

‘No, he knows, he just doesn’t care.’ Alex shrugged, he’d accepted Flint was just like his dad a long time ago. He did, however have a question in return. ‘Did Isobel and Max ever realize what was happening to you?’ Michael stopped moving, looking at Alex with a careful expression. ‘Did they realize you were living in your truck?’

‘That’s not fair.’

‘Isn’t it?’ Alex asked. ‘They’re supposed to be your family, right?’ Alex knew he was probably pushing it, but it was something that had been bothering him. In the months Michael had now been living with him, and the months before that he’d spend living in his truck, it seemed like neither Isobel, nor Max had a clue.

‘They have their own lives.’

‘So they should just keep living them and not check in on how you’re doing?’

‘Is let me stay with her without question when I asked. Max got me a job.’ Michael argued. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, a defensive posture if Alex had ever seen one. But he wasn’t done yet, now that they were getting everything out there, this was something that had been bothering him.

‘A job as a glorified laundry man. We both know you’re much too smart to be doing this work for the rest of your life.’ Alex said, standing up himself. The ice had just about melted and it was getting uncomfortable.

‘What else am I supposed to do?’ Michael asked, frowning at Alex.

‘Go to college, get a degree.’ Alex said waving his arm around vaguely. ‘Go study rocket science or astronomy or something. Go discover alien life.’

‘With what money?’ Michael asked, even though he was smiling a little now.

‘Max makes like three million dollars a year. I’m sure you could borrow the money for tuition from him.’ Alex said as he moved around Michael to ditch the ice bag (that was now more of a water bag) into the sink. Michael stayed silent for a few seconds.

‘Isobel knows about us.’ Alex froze. What the fuck was up with Michael throwing confessions in his face like this today. 

‘Are you trying to give me a heart attack?’ Alex asked, but all he really wanted to do was panic, panic, panic. If Isobel knew, would she tell Noah, would she tell Max, would the team find out, would everyone else find out, how long was it going to take. He needed to start packing his bags, when his dad found out he was going to come back to finish the job.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped, yet again jostling his injuries. Fuck he needed to stop doing that.

‘Sorry. I figured now that we were getting all secrets out of the way…’ Michael said, he almost looked more worried about this then he had about telling him about the other things. ‘Isobel would never tell anyone anything that could hurt me.’ Alex was just going to have to take Michael’s word for it.

‘How did she find out?’ Alex asked, trying to tamper down on the panic still bubbling under his skin. Michael trusted her, and Alex trusted Michael.

‘She asked if I had a crush, I told her no, but she didn’t believe me. So I gave in and I just told her some things about you.’ Michael looked at his feet, finally uncrossing his arms. ‘I told her you’re smart and funny and that your favourite Game of Thrones character is Arya…’

‘Ah, that night at the airport.’ Alex realized. Now he understood what had been going on that night. ‘I already thought you two were being super weird that night.’ He smiled at Michael.

‘Is it okay though? I made her swear that she wouldn’t tell anyone, not Noah, not Max, no one.’ Michael looked nervous, wringing his hands together. Alex moved closer to him, he set a hand on Michael’s arm.

‘Yeah, it’s alright. Technically I told her myself, so I can’t really be mad about that, can I?’ Michael let out a short laugh and brought his hand up to brush it past Alex’s cheek.

‘Good, because she really wants to meet you. Properly.’ His hand settled at the curve where Alex’s shoulder met his neck.

‘We could invite her here? But then she would have to know you’re living here.’ Alex suggested. He didn’t mind telling her, if she already knew about them, one more secret shouldn’t matter much.

‘Maybe it’s time I’m honest with all the people I love anyways.’ Michael said. Something about the word _love_ coming from Michael’s mouth made his heart skip a beat. Michael grinned at him. ‘I can feel your pulse, you know.’ Alex laughed and pushed Michael’s hand away from where it was resting against his neck.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Alex said, starting to head towards the bathroom. ‘Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted and since there’s no way I’ll be able to put on a sweater without passing out, it would be nice to have a certain human furnace in bed with me.’ Alex hinted. Michael laughed and followed him into the bathroom.

Curled up against Michael, weary of his injuries, but enjoying the warmth he radiated, Alex realized he’d just told Michael all of his secrets. There were none left. That was it. There was someone in his life that knew everything, and they were still here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! No more secrets, at least not between the boys. Now it's time to slooooowly clue the rest of the people around them in. Isobel is next, and maybe Kyle or Liz? The bros really need to get back on better terms.... We'll see what inspiration strikes :D
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight.


	10. Forever going with the flow, but you're friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael meets a tiny child on a quest for potatoes and an immovable object meets a unstoppable force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow! This silly little story has officially reached over 200 kudos and 150 comments! Thank you all so much for your continued support! All the love for this has really made me double as motivated to continue this!
> 
> I am already working on absolutely destroying Jesse Manes, but we're going to have to wait for that a bit longer, more stuff has to happen before we can throw him off a cliff, or let him get eaten by coyotes, or murder him with a hockey stick.

The next morning, Michael woke up to a text from Sanders telling him not to come into work. Initially Michael panicked. He thought he was being fired or something, Alex’s sentiment about going to college the night before had been a nice idea, but he didn’t exactly want to lose his job. So he’d texted Sanders back, asking why. The man had answered that Michael had more important things to take care of. Michael had looked over at Alex, who was still sleeping, curled against Michael’s side, taking the pressure off his bruised ribs, and agreed. He wasn’t sure how the man knew, but he did.

So, here they were, still in bed at nearly eleven. Michael had his head resting on the pillow, he was watching Alex as he was messing around on the guitar, feet up on the bed, languid and lazy, exactly like the morning of a day off was supposed to be. Michael still found himself stunned by how beautiful Alex was, even with bruises colouring his torso. The softness of his skin, the elegant curve of his mouth, the warmth in his eyes.

‘You’re staring at me.’ Alex said, smiling but not looking up from the guitar.

‘I know.’ Michael said. ‘Sing me something?’ Michael had fallen in love with Alex’s voice the moment he’d first sang Wonderwall. Alex looked at him for a second. He turned his attention back to the guitar, trying out a few notes to see if they would work. Alex started a soft, simple, mellow bunch of chords.

‘ _In the middle of the night when the wolves come out. They head straight for your heart._ _Like a bullet in the dark. One by one, I try to take them down. You can run and hide, ain't goin' down without a fight. I hear them calling for you. I hear them calling for you_.’ Alex trailed off, and smiled at Michael. ‘I don’t remember the rest.’ Michael felt like he’d chosen these words specifically, like Alex was trying to tell him something.

‘Nice lyrics.’ Michael commented, as Alex set the guitar down next to the bed.

‘Thanks, I stole them.’ Alex said and Michael laughed, he carefully traced his hand along Alex’s bruised right side.

‘How are your ribs?’ He asked.

‘Meh.’ Alex said. ‘Kiss and make it better?’ Michael looked up at Alex’s grinning face. Michael allowed a slow smirk to spread over his face.

‘Alex Manes I thought you were protecting your virtue?’ He turned until his mouth was inches away from Alex’s stomach. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the way Alex’s muscles tensed. He softly kissed the bruised skin of Alex’s side, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him.

‘I merely suggested you kissed my poor ribs with your magical mouth to make them better, how could that possibly mean anything scandalous?’ Alex asked with a faux-innocent expression on his face. If Alex hadn’t been flinching every time he moved, Michael may have done something to wipe that look off his face, but he wasn’t about to risk anything. Especially when Alex had expressed his desire to be back on the ice in two weeks, despite the minimum for bruised ribs healing being three weeks. He had no doubt Alex was going to make it happen, he was nothing if not stubborn.

‘Should I ask if Is wants to come have dinner tonight?’ Michael asked, rolling onto his back. He wasn’t necessarily in a hurry to explain the whole “hey I was homeless for a bit but my now-boyfriend then-crush helped me out” thing to Isobel. He could already imagine the hurt on her face, but at the same time, now that he’d started confessing secrets he just wanted to keep it going. It was surprisingly liberating, telling someone the truth.

‘Sure, we have time to get our shit together today.’ Alex said, reaching over to casually run his fingers through Michael’s hair. He’d noticed Alex liked doing that.

‘Alright I’ll text her.’ Michael rolled over to grab his phone off the bedside table.

_Hey Is, dinner at Alex’s place tonight? So you can officially meet him? Seven okay?_

‘That’s vague enough right?’ Michael showed his phone to Alex. ‘Like I want to tell her I live here and stuff, but not through text.’

‘Yeah, seems good.’ Alex said, nodding at Michael. He send the text. It took approximately twenty seconds for Isobel to reply.

_Isobel Evans-Bracken: Yes. I’ll bring pie. Make sure to dress nice. Text me the address._

Michael snorted.

‘Isobel is bringing pie. And she’s telling me to dress nicely, when do I ever dress nicely?’ Alex looked at him thoughtfully.

‘I quite like what you’re wearing now.’ He said. Michael looked down at himself. He was wearing his brand new Bruins jersey, number 88 on the back. He’d ordered it online the week before, he could have just asked for it at work, but that had felt uncomfortable.

'I bet you do.’ Michael grinned. Michael had started digging into Alex’s t-shirt collection more and more since their first kiss. He’d been delighted to find some old band t-shirts. As it turned out, Alex had had somewhat of an emo-phase in high school. ‘Should I wear that old Panic! At the disco shirt of yours?’ Alex snorted.

‘Yeah, wear it with those pale jeans with the holes at the knees, I’m sure she’ll love that.’ Alex said with a grin. Alex’s phone buzzed in his hand, and his smile dimmed a little.

‘What is it?’ Michael asked.

‘It’s Liz. She’s worried about me. She wants me to come have coffee with her.’ Michael nodded slowly.

‘Have you talked to her since the thing.’

‘Not really.’

‘Maybe you should go.’ Michael said. ‘She was really scared for you. She clearly cares about you. I always thought I was her favourite after Max and Maria, but I think you’ve taken my spot.’ Michael melted at Alex’s soft smile. Alex typed a quick response, probably agreeing.

‘If I told her about us, would you be mad?’ Alex asked, looking at Michael like he genuinely wanted to know the answer. Like if Michael said yes he wouldn’t do it.

‘No. I told Is, you should be able to tell someone.’ Michael traced his fingers over Alex’s hand. ‘I would never tell you to keep this a secret. You could tell the whole world for all I care. I’ll punch anyone who even looks at you wrong.’

‘Violence isn’t always the answer Michael.’ Alex said, but he didn’t sound as severe as when he’d said it before.

‘Says the guy who’s been in at least three fights in three months.’ Michael made a face at him.

‘I was defending my teammates.’ Alex said, putting the hand Michael wasn’t playing with to his chest. Good, they could still joke about these things. Probably because they both understood the weight behind it, and the real underlying story.

‘Yeah, I’d be defending _you_.’ Michael smiled but he made sure to show Alex he was serious for the next part. ‘No unprovoked violence.’ Alex took a second to let that sink in.

‘No unprovoked violence.’ He agreed, Alex took a deep breath, letting the seriousness fall off him again. ‘Okay, so I’ll go have coffee with Liz and you will go get groceries?’ He said with a pleading smile. Michael rolled his eyes.

‘Fine.’ He drew the word out nice and long. ‘But only because you’re hurt.’

‘Thank you babe.’ Alex blinked at his own words. ‘Babe? Is that a thing we’re doing?’ He asked Michael with a frown. Michael shrugged.

‘I don’t really care.’ Alex just shrugged and got out of bed. ‘No.’ Michael whined. ‘Where are you going?’ He crawled to the edge of the bed, reaching out and making grabby hands at Alex.

‘I have to get dressed, Guerin. It’s going to take me a while, because unlike you, I only own t-shirts, no button-up’s.’ Alex said, waving vaguely at his banged up chest. Michael still felt a tiny spark of rage whenever he looked at the dark purple bruises marking Alex’s skin.

‘Well then wear one of my button-ups.’ Michael shrugged before rolling out of bed.

‘You mean one of the ones that has been washed so much you can barely tell what colour they are? Are you trying to dress me up like a cowboy?’ Alex asked, tilting his head.

‘Hey, there is nothing wrong with dressing like a cowboy. You are from New Mexico after-all.’ Michael said, he suddenly realized something. ‘Oh, you know what. I used to own an actual cowboy hat.’ Michael grinned. Alex looked at him like wasn’t sure if he should be intrigued or horrified. ‘A black one. I looked good in that hat.’ Michael pointed at himself as if to prove a point. Alex just blinked at him for a few seconds and then left the room.

‘I don’t even know what to say.’

 

So, Michael went to get groceries, and Alex left the apartment (sadly dressed in one of his own shirts under his thick coat) and went to meet Liz. When he was standing in the grocery store, staring at the vegetables trying to decide what the hell he could even cook, a small child approached him. She couldn’t have been older then eleven and had adorable big brown eyes, behind her was a older girl, who looked about sixteen. She was clearly the older sister.

‘Hello sir.’ The little one said, Michael blinked at her.

‘Hi.’ He said, turning to face her.

‘I like your jersey.’ She said seriously. Michael looked down at it again. He’d put a hoodie on under it before leaving the house.

‘Thanks. You’re a Bruins fan?’ He asked her, and she nodded vehemently, making her ponytail fly around wildly.

‘She especially likes Alex Manes.’ The older sister said. ‘Right Katie?’

‘Yes, he’s the best, and he looks like a puppy.’ Michael blinked at the little one, apparently named Katie.

‘Yeah, he absolutely is the best.’ Michael confirmed. ‘He is as nice as a puppy too.’

‘Have you met him?’ Katie’s eyes widened to the point where Michael was concerned for her health.

‘I’m gonna tell you a secret.’ Michael said, lowering his voice. ‘I work for the Bruins.’

‘That’s so cool!’ Katie whisper-yelled.

‘Is he doing okay?’ The older sister asked.

‘He’s doing alright. He plans to be back in a few weeks.’ Michael assured them and Katie tugged her sisters sleeve enthusiastically.

‘You should tell him that I’m gonna ask Santa for his jersey!’ Katie grinned, showing him the gap in her teeth, the older sister’s smile dimmed a little.

‘Yeah, just remember that Santa can’t always give you everything you want.’ She said, patting Katie on the head softly.

‘Yeah, yeah. Can you tell him that?’ She was still beaming, and seemed completely undeterred by her sister’s comment.

‘I will tell him that.’ Michael told her.

‘Awesome. Now we have to go, we have to go buy potatoes!’ Katie said with an unreasonable amount of enthusiasm.

‘Okay, have fun with that.’ Michael waved after the two girls. ‘Bye.’

‘Bye!’

_Just met a tiny child that wanted me to tell you she’s asking Santa for your jersey for Christmas. Oh and she seemed very concerned for your well-being._

Michael texted Alex as he drifted through the aisles.

_Alex Manes: Well that sounds fucking adorable. Can I get her the jersey?_

Sometimes, Michael swore Alex could read his mind, or at least read so deeply between the lines it _felt_ like he could read his mind.

_The older sister didn’t seem convinced they’d be able to get it, soooo yes?_

Michael decided to just grab whatever he needed to make lasagne and screw everything else.

_Alex Manes: I do kind of need a name and an address and such…._

‘Fuck.’ Michael hadn’t thought that far ahead. He quickly tried to scan the store to see if the girls were still there. Potatoes. They were buying potatoes. Michael quickly made his way to the corner he knew those were. Sure enough, there they were, Katie attempting to carry a giant sack of potatoes by herself. Michael pulled his wallet from his back pocket and picked out one of the business cards Maria had given him when he’d first come to work for the team. He hadn’t ever used one before, but this seemed like a good chance.

‘Hey! Manes Man!’ Katie exclaimed.

‘Michael Guerin, actually.’ He introduced. He held out the card to the older sister. ‘I texted Alex and he’d like to help Santa out a little. If you can send an e-mail with your name and address to the Bruins, we can make that happen.’ Katie looked like the whole conversation was going straight over her head, which was good. The older sister looked at him with a sort of wide-eyed wonder.

‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’ Michael smiled at her.

‘Thank you. And thank him too.’ She said.

‘I will.’ Michael said as the two sisters headed off to the check out.

 

Michael forgot half the ingredients. Alex ended up going to his neighbour, a lovely, mostly deaf, elderly woman named Marge to ask to borrow some milk. He came back with milk, and cookies and a wool hat in Bruins colours. He looked a little shell-shocked and Michael laughed way harder then was technically necessary. Apparently Liz had been awesome, as she always was. She had apparently offered to kill Alex’s dad with her bare hands, but he’d declined. She'd also told him that if he ever wanted to go to the police and press charges she'd be right there with him. Alex also said she hadn’t seemed that surprised that they were together, apparently they’d had a _vibe_ that first night when they’d gone to dinner at Ortecho’s.

Somehow they managed to get everything in order before Isobel arrived, but it was pretty clear that neither of them had ever done this before.

‘God I hope Isobel has lowered her standards.’ Alex whispered, squinting at the lasagne through the tiny window of the oven.

‘Um excuse you, this lasagne is going to be amazing.’ Michael said it with confidence, but he was a little worried too. Isobel lived in a giant house and always had fancy dinners with Noah.

‘Right, think positive.’ Alex said, groaning as he straightened up. Michael stepped up to him, sliding his hand under Alex’s soft green sweater carefully.

‘Are you alright? Maybe you should take some painkillers?’ He suggested. Alex shook his head.

‘No, it’s okay, I should just stop moving.’ Alex said, he leaned back into Michael with a sigh that made Michael feel like maybe today wasn’t the best day to do the dinner thing.

‘We could reschedule.’

‘Michael, I’m fine. We didn’t go through all this trouble just to cancel now.’ Alex said, somewhat firmly.

Before Michael could come up with another argument, the buzzer went, Alex waved Michael over to it, to open the door. He watched Isobel on the tiny camera as she waved enthusiastically before heading in the door. Michael didn’t have to wait long for the knock on the front door. Michael opened it to find Isobel, holding something that looked more like a cake then a pie, but whatever.

‘Hey Is.’ Michael grinned and she reached out to hug him with one arm, carefully balancing her pie/cake on the other hand.

‘Hello brother.’ Michael could see the exact moment where she spotted Alex, because her face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree and she made a very high pitched excited noise. She shoved the pie/cake into Michael’s hands and just left him there as she headed for Alex.

‘Hi Isobel.’ Alex said, smiling kindly at her.

‘Hi Alex. Now, I know you have broken ribs or whatever, but I really want to hug you.’

‘Careful.’ Michael said strictly as he closed and locked the door and set the pie/cake in the fridge.

‘Yes sir.’ Isobel mocked him before carefully hugging Alex. ‘So did you _actually_ manage to get him to colour-coordinate with you? Or is that a coincidence?’ Isobel asked as she pulled back. Michael sighed as he looked down at his green/blue plaid shirt. The battle over Michael’s shirt had almost turned into a full blown argument.

‘He wanted to wear red. I told him that was not happening.’ Alex said with a smug smile.

‘You two would have looked like a Christmas tree!’ Isobel exclaimed.

‘That’s what I said!’ Alex’s eyes lit up and he grinned like he’d just found his new best friend.

‘Oh god. I’ve created a monster.’ Michael said dramatically. It earned him identical eyerolls. It was a little scary.

‘Let me put away your coat.’ Alex said to Isobel, and he proceeded to help her out of the garment that no doubt cost more then Michael made in a month.

‘Oh, manners.’ Isobel said, pressing her hand to her chest. ‘Michael. I like him. You should keep him.’

‘I’m planning on it.’ Michael said and Isobel grinned so widely, Michael was sure it had to hurt. The oven beeped just as Alex came back from hanging Isobel’s coat. ‘Go sit down, I’ll get it.’ Michael told Alex.

As they had been preparing the dinner, they’d realized Alex’s dinner table was tiny and they didn’t even have three matching chairs. Isobel didn’t seem to mind, she seemed completely enchanted by Alex. Michael couldn’t blame her. Michael went to take the lasagne from the oven, quickly asking whatever was up there for it to be edible. He made sure to keep his ears on the two of them as he divided the food over three plates. It _looked_ edible, it _smelt_ edible. Michael shrugged as he brought the first two plates to the table. Isobel clapped her hands.

‘Lasagne! Oh, I love lasagne.’

‘Just a little head’s up. We forgot to buy half the ingredients, so we had to improvise.’ Alex said, accepting the second plate from Michael.

‘Technically, _I_ forgot to buy half the ingredients, let’s be honest.’ Michael shrugged.

‘Well you were distracted by an adorable little girl, right?’ Alex said as Michael quickly grabbed his own plate from the kitchen and sat down. He took his first bite, and it wasn’t horrible. Michael was going to count that as a victory.

‘That is true.’ Michael turned to Isobel. ‘You should have seen her, Is. So cute. She came up to me in the grocery store to tell me she liked my Manes jersey-‘

‘You were wearing Alex’s jersey?’ Isobel said, grin still impossibly wide. ‘That’s adorable.’

‘I should support my favourite player, right?’ Michael said, meeting her eye with a small smile.

‘I thought Max was your favourite player?’ Isobel grinned at him.

‘Max doesn’t make me blueberry pancakes.’

‘Ah, so I’m just buying your love and attention huh?’ Alex said, trying to hide a smile as he kept his eyes firmly on his plate.

‘How many mornings have you been spending here exactly?’ Isobel asked. Michael knew this was his moment. This was the perfect lead into the conversation she was here to have, even if she didn’t know it. He could feel the nerves creep up into his throat, he needed to start talking, or he wouldn’t be able to anymore.

‘All of them.’ It wasn’t quite a proper answer, but it got Isobel out of her joking headspace and into something more serious. ‘I have been living here for about three months.’ Michael said into the silence. Alex calmly kept eating. There was something reassuring about that.

‘How long have you two been together exactly?’ Isobel asked, with a half-smile. She still seemed to be hoping that this was just some weird way for Michael to tell her they’d been dating for months.

‘About two weeks. I lived here before we got together.’ Michael said, watching the confusion on Isobel’s face.

‘Why?’ She asked carefully. She seemed to have realized there was something major behind all this. Michael swallowed, he looked over at Alex. He gave him an encouraging smile.

‘Because before that I’d been living in my truck for three months.’ The silence stretched on, the only sound being Alex’s fork scraping against his plate. Isobel went through a whole range of emotions. Confusion, realization, horror, anger, until it finally settled on sadness.

‘What happened?’ She asked quietly.

‘I got into an argument with my landlord and he kicked me out.’ Michael said, he didn’t want to go into too much detail.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ She asked, frowning at him. ‘You could have stayed with me until you found a new place.’

‘I was scared.’ Michael said simply.

‘Of me?’

‘Of what you would say. How you would look at me.’ Michael said, he had already made almost the exact face Michael had been scared of. The pity was something he couldn’t handle.

‘But you weren’t scared of Alex?’ Michael was pretty sure he didn’t imagine the slightly accusing tone in her voice.

‘He didn’t give me much of a choice.’ Isobel looked at Alex with a frown.

‘I found out by accident. I just sort of informed him he was staying with me.’ Alex said, he’d cleared his plate while Michael had been spilling his secrets to Isobel.

‘And you didn’t think to tell his family?’ Yeah, she was definitely angry now, her anger currently directed towards Alex. He would have said something about that, but Alex seemed to have it covered.

‘It wasn’t my secret to tell.’ He said simply, deadly calm.

‘He was _living in his truck_.’ Isobel snapped. She looked like she wanted to say something else but Alex beat her to it.

‘I know that, I’m the only one who found out.’

‘Aren’t you supposed to be trying to make a good impression on me?’ Isobel asked, tilting her head with a clenched jaw.

‘Am I not?’ Alex met her eyes without flinching. She thought on that for a few seconds. Her face softened slowly and she deflated.

‘Thank you for looking after my brother.’ Alex didn’t seem phased by Isobel’s sudden turnaround. She looked a little guilty now. ‘I guess I was too wrapped up in my own life to realize something was wrong in his.’

‘It happens.’ Alex said, finally breaking his stoic façade and smiling at her. ‘Just don’t be angry with him for being scared to tell you things. Telling our secrets to the people closest to us can be terrifying.’

‘Especially if they react like I just did.’ Isobel said, guilt written all over her face as she flinched.

‘Do you like the lasagne?’ Alex asked, glancing at Isobel’s almost full plate. She blinked down at her plate, and then smiled at him gratefully.

‘Yes, it’s nice. I should probably eat it.’ Isobel didn’t mention the slightly peculiar taste, nor that fact that it had to be almost cold by now.

‘So, I saw this documentary about tree frogs yesterday, I love tree frogs-‘ Alex started and Michael couldn’t help but grin as Alex just casually moved on and launched into a detailed description of how these tree frogs were able to stick to trees so well. When Isobel, and Michael, had also cleared their plates, Michael suggested pie. Alex flinched.

‘I really shouldn’t.’

‘Why not?’ Isobel asked.

‘I’m already going to miss workouts because of my ribs.’ Alex said, scrunching up his nose.

‘Afraid you’ll lose your six-pack?’ Isobel said with a teasing smile. She’d slowly loosened back up towards Alex. He had insistently kept involving her in the conversation and in his friendly teasing.

‘Eight, actually.’ Michael said as he collected their plates. Isobel looked up at him.

‘Really now? Hm, maybe I should have married a forward, instead of a goalie.’ She mused.

‘Kyle is still single.’ Alex smirked at her. Isobel let out a delighted burst of laughter.

‘He is delicious, isn’t he.’ Alex hummed in agreement.

‘Um excuse me?’ Michael said. ‘I’m right here?’ Alex looked at him innocently.

‘I’m allowed to _look_ , right?’ Alex grinned. ‘I knew you were jealous of Kyle.’

‘Valenti is an idiot.’

‘No he isn’t.’

‘He is a little bit.’

‘His heart is in the right place.’

Isobel and Michael had some pie/cake, it was surprisingly good for how sketchy it looked. Alex refused, he and Isobel were both stubborn as hell, but Alex won out in the end. By suggesting she’d upset Michael if Alex lost his abs. It was embarrassing.

‘Alright boys. I should head home.’ Isobel said, clapping her hands once. She stood up and motioned for Alex to come to her. ‘It was lovely meeting you Alex.’

‘Was it?’ Alex asked, trying to contain his smirk as he hugged her carefully.

‘Yes.’ Isobel said, holding him at arm’s length. ‘I’m glad Michael has you to look out for him, sometimes even family needs to be put in their place.’

‘I’m glad you see it that way.’ Alex said and Michael felt a little emotional.

‘Well, I’m glad that the two most stubborn people I’ve ever met, actually agree on that.’ Michael said, giving Isobel a hug of his own.

‘You should tell Max soon.’ Michael could feel himself tense at the thought.

‘Why?’ He whined.

‘Because he’s your brother and he loves you.’ Isobel said, giving him a stern look. ‘I’m serious Michael. I promised I wouldn’t tell him anything, and I won’t but you need to talk to him. Actually _talk_ to him.’ Alex had casually removed himself from the conversation by ducking into the kitchen, leaving Michael alone to deal with his sister.

‘Fine, I’ll talk to him soon.’ Michael said. Isobel smiled brightly at him.

‘Good.’ She said. ‘Oh and, I really like Alex. I’m glad you’ve found someone that makes you happy.’ She said for Michael’s ears only, but then she raised her voice a little. ‘Just make sure Alex knows that if he hurts you I will murder him and they’ll never find the body.’

‘Copy that.’ Alex’s voice drifted from the kitchen. Michael smiled and started to herd Isobel to the door.

‘Alright, time for you to go home.’ He made sure she had her coat and opened the door for her. ‘Tonight was really nice, Is. I’ll talk to you soon.’

‘Don’t be a stranger Michael.’ She said with a final wave as she headed down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isobel was actually so much fun to write! I really feel like she and Alex would either be best friends, or worst enemies and I really don't think there's an inbetween. Liz is now also in the know about most things, but we'll see her more next chapter. 
> 
> Maybe good to clarify, Sanders doesn't actually know that Alex and Michael are a thing, but he has figured out they are good friends. Kind of like that athletic trainer in the previous chapter. 
> 
> Also, Alex is going to be a terrible patient, in case that wasn't clear yet. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	11. Two headlights shine, through the sleepless night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liz and Alex don't deal with tension well, Max acts like Max does and Alex let's himself be angry and curses a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Back again!  
> For this chapter I should probably say that I have complicated feelings towards Max. As you may have noticed in previous chapters, I'm not his biggest fan. I love Max around Liz, but other then that, he's kind of a dick sometimes. Now, I personally don't think his... behaviour in this chapter is out of character (due to some of the shit he's canonically said/done), but yeah, I'm not particularly nice to him. 
> 
> Also, I have absolutely no idea if I like this chapter. I think the further I get into it the more I like it. But I've been rewriting and editing and grumbling at this for three hours now, and I'm kind of done with it. It's just going to have to be like this.

Alex was terrible at being injured, he knew this. He’d always been restless, he’d always had the need to keep moving. To stay moving. Maybe it had something to do with his first instinct being to run. Alex was a runner. He loved running, it had been his favourite way to work out since he was a thirteen and he’d started. He also hated running, running away from things that overwhelmed him. But running also let him clear his head. He obviously had a complicated relationship with running.

With his ribs being as shitty as they were, he couldn’t really do much of anything. Running hurt, weights hurt, core exercises hurt. It was a fucking shitshow and Alex got more and more antsy as the week went on.

He wanted to get back on the ice. He wanted to not be so useless. Especially since the Bruins lost 3 of the 4 games they played that week, Alex found himself fuming at the television more then once.

At this point it was their Sunday afternoon game, he was on the couch, watching his teammates struggle to stay afloat. He knew he looked grumpy as hell, as the score was already 2-0 and it was only the first period. It wasn’t that the team was bad, they weren’t bad at all, they just seemed to be missing something. Alex wasn’t vain enough to think it was just him. Their top line was banged up, their first line centre had a concussion and so they’d moved Max up, but that left all the other lines jumbled as well. Kyle was playing with some 22 year old kid who didn’t seem to know how to skate without falling over every two minutes and a third liner who seemed to have zero motivation left for life.

The second period wasn’t much better, they managed to get a goal, a weak, bouncing shot that fooled the goalie, but they also completely collapsed on defence. Noah tried, but he couldn’t stop everything. So heading into the third they were losing 4-1. Alex could see Kyle’s frustration was ramping up by the minute.

The third period gave Kyle some sort of relief, he scored twice in a minute and suddenly the Bruins were within one. Kyle literally leapt into the boarding, slamming his shoulder into the glass. The crowd lost their minds, obviously and Alex could feel the adrenaline rush through his own system. He couldn’t even imagine what Kyle felt like. Shit, he missed hockey. Shit, his chest hurt.

He needed to get out of the house before he drove himself mad or made this stupid injury worse.

_Are you working?_

He texted Liz, he knew Maria would be busy, and Michael was obviously at work, so Liz seemed like his only hope. It had been incredibly nice, sharing some of what had been going on with Liz. Her righteous anger and made him feel warm, even though he’d made her promise not to do anything. His father still had something on him that he didn’t want out there. At least not yet.

_Liz Ortecho: Nope, I could go for some coffee. This game is too much for me._

Alex sighed in relief.

_Thank god. At DeLuca’s?_

He glanced at the TV, four minutes to go, still down by one.

_Liz Ortecho: Yes, I’ll meet you there in ten._

He hit the off button of the TV. Alex wrangled some sneakers on his feet, grabbed his good coat, his phone and his keys and headed out of the door. The afternoon was chilly, but the sun was out and the warmth of it felt great on his skin. That was one thing, probably the _only_ thing he missed from New Mexico. The sun.

Alex made it to DeLuca’s just as he saw Liz approach from the other side. She waved at him.

‘Alex.’ She called, and she stepped up to give him a hug. She was mindful of his ribs and he appreciated it.

‘Hey Liz.’

‘Needed to get out of the house huh?’ She asked, pushing the door to the coffee shop open.

‘Yeah, you were watching the game to right?’ He asked Liz. She laughed.

‘Through my fingers. What a mess.’ She said. ‘I think they’re really missing you. Even the commentators said that.’

‘Pff, commentators aren’t always right. They’re just struggling right now, and with the scrambled lines, things just aren’t clicking.’ Alex waved the idea away.

‘Yeah, but why did they scramble the lines? Because you and Mattenson are injured.’ Liz said, waving her finger at him. She had a point.

‘Liz.’ Mimi came from the backroom and smiled kindly at her. She came up and hugged her. ‘And Alex.’ Maria’s mother had started recognizing him some days, and today seemed to be one of them. She hugged him carefully, not because she knew about his ribs, but because that was just the way she hugged.

‘Hi Mimi.’ Alex said, and she patted his cheek.

‘You look bothered today.’ She said.

‘It hasn’t been the best week.’ Alex admitted and she nodded solemnly.

‘But your love is still strong, yes?’ She asked and Alex knew he blushed at that. He cleared his throat.

‘Yeah, Michael and I are good, although I think I’m starting to drive him a little mad.’ Alex admitted.

‘Ah yes, Michael.’ She nodded. ‘You should bring him here sometime.’

‘I will do that.’ Alex said with a smile.

‘Good.’ Mimi then wondered off to the back, probably making them coffee. Liz and Alex made their way over to the little rusty red table that had kind of become theirs.

‘So, you and Michael are good huh?’ Liz asked, leaning back in her seat.

‘Yeah.’ Alex said with a sigh. ‘I mean, I am sure he’s getting sick of me being home all the time, _I’m_ getting sick of me being at home all the time. But he apparently has the patience of a saint.’

‘Or he just loves you.’ Liz said and Alex knocked his knee against the table, hard.

‘Ow, fuck. Liz, you can’t just say shit like that.’ He whined. She just laughed.

‘O come on Alex. He knows everything about you at this point, he has spend the last week around you being a restless, grumpy mess and he’s still there. That guy loves you.’ She said and Alex took the time to think about that for a second.

Love was a scary word for him. He only ever associated love with his mom, who left, and his dad who clearly didn’t love him enough to accept him for who he was. His dad only loved the idea of him. His brothers never loved him enough to stand up for him, and he’d never really had anyone else come close enough to even consider telling them everything. So for Michael to stick around, after Alex told him everything, he met Alex’s dad, he’d learned Alex lied to him and Alex had almost run away from them, twice, he was still sticking around. He would still look at Alex with that expression on his face that made Alex feel weak in the knees.

‘There you go kids.’ Mimi came over and dropped off their coffee’s, Alex actually got the right order this time.

‘Thank you Mimi.’ They chorused and she disappeared again.

‘Have you two talked more about telling Max?’ Liz asked, sitting back, wrapping her hands around her mug.

‘Yeah, actually after the game today, Michael is supposed to go have a drink with Max and tell him.’ Alex said. Michael had been a ball of nervous energy when he left for work that day. He seemed much more nervous about telling Max then he had about telling Isobel.

‘Ah, I was hoping that’s what that meet-up was about. Max told me yesterday that he’d head over to mine after he went and had a drink with Michael.’ Liz said. ‘Anyone else you’re thinking of telling?’

‘Well, I’ve been considering maybe telling Kyle. I think of him as a friend, and I know he knows there’s something going on with me that I’m not telling him. He’s been super supportive of me since I joined the team and I guess it just feels wrong lying to him?’ Alex said. That was something else he’d been learning, that the closer you got to people, the harder it became to lie to them. Alex hadn’t really had close friends before, so he’d never felt the need to be honest with anyone. But then again, he’d also never had a relationship to be honest about.

‘I think that’s a good idea. Kyle is a good guy.’ Liz nodded. Alex took a sip of his coffee, and just savoured the taste of it on his tongue for a second.

‘Yeah, I know. I guess I’m also just tired of never being able to _go_ anywhere with Michael?’ He shrugged. ‘Like, when Michael tells Max we could actually go have dinner with you guys, or maybe if we told Noah we could go out with him and Isobel.’

‘You could also tell Maria.’ Alex blinked at the thought of that.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Because she works for the Bruins?’ Liz asked, she had a talent for reading between the lines, that would probably come in handy in law school and everything. ‘You know you can trust her, right?’

‘It might be good actually.’ Alex thought out-loud. ‘She’s in charge of PR and everything. If this whole thing was to come out for some reason, it’d be good if she was in the know already, right?’

‘Yes, and she’s your friend.’ Liz added with a raised eyebrow. Her phone buzzed on the table. She checked it. ‘Bruins lose in OT.’ She said with a sigh.

‘Dammit.’ Alex groaned.

‘You just want to play, don’t you?’ Liz asked with a sympathetic smile.

‘Yes, I hate sitting on the side-lines.’

‘You hate sitting still in general. I bet if you could, you’d spend the entire sixty minutes on the ice.’ Liz grinned.

‘Yeah, I would if I could. I guess I’m a control freak, like my dad.’ And wow, did Alex have the ability to bring down a conversation with a few simple words? He flinched.

‘You’re nothing like your dad.’ Liz said firmly. ‘How are things with him by the way?’

‘Haven’t talked to him. Radio silence, pretty much.’ Alex shrugged, he was glad he could do that again without needing five minutes to catch his breath after.

‘Is that good or bad?’

‘I’m never sure.’ Alex said. ‘Sometimes it’s good, it means he’s focussed on other things. Sometimes it’s bad, it means he’s gearing up for a bigger confrontation.’

‘What could he possibly have to “confront” you about?’ Liz asked angrily.

‘I don’t know, maybe he thinks my ribs aren’t healing fast enough.’

‘The ribs that he fucked up?’ Liz asked, with a disbelieving look on her face.

‘Who knows.’

‘ _My God_.’ Liz said in Spanish. ‘My offer still stands by the way. Just give me the word.’

‘Which one, the murder one, or the “I’m gonna make sure he rots in prison” one?’ Alex asked with a mild smile.

‘Both.’ Liz decided. ‘How _are_ your ribs?’ Alex was getting a little tired of literally _everyone_ asking him that, but for Liz he’d answer. The other day, the cashier in the grocery store had asked about his ribs.

‘Better, not great, but better. I’m going to try and start working out soon.’

‘Just take your time okay? It’s better to take a few extra days now, then to rush and be out again in a few months because you didn’t give your body enough time to heal.’ Liz said, reaching out and putting her hand on his, making sure he listened to her carefully.

‘Stop being so wise.’ Alex groaned. Liz just laughed.

‘Just take my advise Manes.’

‘Fine. I’ll consult with my doctors and I will listen to them.’ He assured her.

‘Good boy.’

They talk about nonsense for a little bit longer after that, but it became pretty clear, pretty quickly that they both wanted to head home to their men.

‘We should do this more often.’ Liz said as they stood outside of DeLuca’s.

‘Yes we should.’ Alex agreed.

‘We’ll text, okay?’

‘Yes.’ Alex confirmed. ‘See you soon Liz.’

They went their separate ways. When Alex made it back to the apartment, Michael wasn’t back yet. Alex figured that was a good thing. He’d harped on both Max and Isobel for not noticing there was something up with their brother, but he had faith that Max would have a similar reaction to Isobel’s. He’d admit he hadn’t paid enough attention to Michael, he’d tell him he’d do better, they’d share a bro-hug and they’d be good.

However, when Michael came into the apartment about an hour later, he didn’t look relieved, or happy. He looked sad, tired and disappointed.

‘What happened?’ Alex demanded as he got up from the couch and made his way over to Michael. Michael barely even reacted to Alex’s sharp tone and that made him feel even more cold.

‘I told Max.’ Michael said blankly. That was a very broad statement though, there were lots of things he could have told Max.

‘What exactly did you tell him?’ Alex asked, fighting to get his tone back in the direction of gentle.

‘I told him about us, that I was living with you, and why.’ Michael said, still, not much emotion in his voice.

‘How did he react?’ Alex asked, dread was starting to overtake him.

‘Not great.’

‘What does that mean?’ Alex asked, he reached out and took Michael’s hand.

‘He was angry that I didn’t tell him. He asked if I was serious about this thing with you, and when I told him I was, he went all “Oh I didn’t know you were gay” and I was like, for fuck’s sake Max it’s 2019, sexuality isn’t as black and white as that. And then he went all “Why do you have to be so snappy Michael? Why can’t you be nicer Michael?”.’ Alex felt like someone had injected fire into his veins. ‘And I told him he was being an asshole and that I didn’t need him to give me any shit about this. And then he starts about the whole homeless situation and he asked why I hadn’t told him about that, and I said it was because I was afraid of his reaction, which he was proving me right in.’ Michael said, his impassive mask finally cracking as he started to show how hurt and confused he was. ‘And then he suddenly goes all mushy and is like “everything that hurts you, hurts me just as much Michael”, and I just couldn’t deal with that.’

‘He said _what_?’ Alex’s tone was about as cold as it got. ‘First of all. What the hell is wrong with him? And second of all. _Everything that hurts you hurts him just as much?_ That’s fucking bullshit.’ Alex realized his hands were shaking when he lifted them to put his hands around Michael’s face. ‘Please tell me you told him that comment is absolutely not okay in any universe?’ Michael just looked at him like he was exhausted.

‘No, I just didn’t want to be there anymore. I kind of just, left.’

‘And he didn’t try to stop you?’ Alex was getting more angry by the second. He felt like his breath was hitching in his chest at every inhale.

‘No, and he got mad at you too, that you’d been lying to him. That you hadn’t come to him before offering me a place to stay.’

‘Like I need his fucking permission for that.’ Alex snapped. ‘I’m going to go break his _fucking_ nose.’ Alex released Michael and headed straight for his shoes. _Fuck_ Max Evans and his stupid _fucking_ stubborn, entitled attitude. Who the _fuck_ did he think he was?

‘Alex.’ Michael tried. ‘Alex?’ Alex almost had his coat on. ‘ _Alex._ ’ Michael finally said with force. He stuttered to a halt.

‘ _What?_ ’

‘No unprovoked violence.’ Michael said, and he really did look like he needed about fifteen hours of sleep. Alex felt torn between his anger towards Max and his concern over Michael.

‘Fine. I won’t touch him, but he needs to know he can’t _say_ stuff like this, he can’t _treat_ you like this. He doesn’t own you, he’s not your father, he doesn’t have any right to demand anything from you or me. We don’t owe him shit and he needs to realize that what he says has effect on people. You look like you’re about to pass out, Michael.’ Alex felt desperate all of the sudden. ‘He needs to know he can’t treat you like this. He hurt you and I can’t watch that happen and do nothing.’

‘Just- Tomorrow, he was going to see Liz-‘

‘I know that.’ Alex said, anger bursting back into him like someone struck a match near gasoline. ‘I can’t go to sleep knowing he’s in bed with Liz all nice and cosy and you look like this. I could never stand up to my dad, Michael, but I _can_ stand up to Max.’ Michael looked at him for a long few seconds. He sighed.

‘I’ll come with you.’ Michael said, and it was as close to permission as he was going to get.

They walked to Liz’ apartment, because neither of them was in a state where they should be driving. Alex’s anger kept burning hot and furious in his chest, the whole way there. He _couldn’t believe_ Max had actually said that. Out loud. Like, it had gone through his brain, all his filters and he’d still decided that was something he needed to say out loud. He’d promised he wouldn’t hit Max, but fucking hell did he want to. He wouldn’t though, he’d control his rage. If only to prove to Michael, and himself, that he wasn’t like his dad. No matter how far you pushed him.

He knocked on Liz’ door with a little more force then necessary. There was muffled sounds behind the door and then a rumpled looking Liz opened the door, bright eyed and frazzled.

‘Alex? When you said “see you soon” I wasn’t really expecting this soon?’ Liz said confused, but still smiling. He’d just made his brother look almost catatonic and now he was making out with his girlfriend? Another wave of _punch_ rushed through Alex.

‘I need to talk to Max.’ He said before letting himself in.

‘Liz, what is it?’ Max came swaggering from the bedroom, looking equally messy and Alex hated him, just a little bit, in that moment. ‘Alex?’ He looked at something over Alex’s shoulder and his face sobered. ‘Michael.’

‘What the _fuck_ is wrong with you Evans?’ Alex exploded.

‘Excuse me?’ Max blinked at him.

‘Michael just came home from what was supposed to be a good talk with his brother, looking like he’d been to war.’ Alex snapped. ‘Mind explaining to me what the fuck you were thinking?’ Liz and Michael were quiet behind him, he could almost feel Liz’ confusion.

‘I’m sorry-‘

‘Good.’ Alex interrupted. Max narrowed his eyes at Alex.

‘I’m sorry, but what the hell are you going on about? Why are _you_ even here? If Michael has a problem, he can talk to me himself.’ Max said, crossing his arms over his chest, and that pissed Alex off even more.

‘Michael already tried to talk to you today. Now it’s my turn.’ Alex stepped closer. ‘Have you even _looked_ at him? At how _wrecked_ he looks? You can’t tell someone “everything that hurts you, hurts me just as much”.’ Alex wanted to shake him. Max opened and closed his mouth twice, looking at Michael over Alex’s shoulder.

‘He is _my_ brother, how long have you even known him?’ Max threw at him, and if he thought that was going to make Alex back off he had some news for him.

‘That doesn’t fucking matter.’ Alex yelled. ‘I don’t care how long you’ve known someone. You can’t say that to someone who’s been abused Max!’

‘Well how the hell would _you_ know that?’

‘Max.’ Liz said behind him, horrified. Alex just looked at him in disbelieve. He let the silence stretch just a bit before answering:

‘My dad has been beating the hell out of me since I was twelve.’ Alex said. ‘You grew up in your apple pie neighbourhood, with your white picket fence and two parents that loved you and gave you access to every opportunity you could possibly have wanted. He might be _your brother_ , but _you_ don’t understand anything about what it’s like not to have that.’ Max looked like he couldn’t decide between being horrified and angry.

‘I didn’t know.’

‘Of course you didn’t. I never told you. Wasn’t planning on it either, because I knew you weren’t going to understand.’ Alex sighed, finally releasing some of the tension in his body. ‘You’re privileged as hell Max. You’re a straight, white, man. Okay, you were adopted, I’m sure that can’t always have been easy, I wouldn’t know, but don’t judge people on things you can’t know anything about. It’s like you telling Liz racism isn’t a thing.’

Max stayed silent for a good thirty seconds, seeming to really let Alex’s words sink in. He seemed to go through several different emotions, but the main one was guilt.

‘I’m sorry, Michael.’ Alex looked at him over his shoulder. Michael looked younger then Alex ever remembered him looking. ‘I shouldn’t have been such an asshole. I don’t know what you’ve been through, hell I doubt you’ve told me everything that happened to you while you were in the system. That’s probably because of me. I never made you feel safe enough, so you felt like you could share these things with me.’

‘It’s okay-‘ Michael started.

‘No, it’s not. I have been a terrible brother. Too wrapped up in my own life and my own issues to look after you like I’m supposed to. I’m going to do better.’ Max said firmly. He kept eye contact with Michael until he nodded.

‘Okay.’ Max smiled tentatively and then turned to Alex. Alex just looked at him and waited.

‘I’m sorry Alex, you were right. I’m going to do better.’

‘That’s all I want.’ Alex said. Max took a deep breath.

‘I’m glad you’re looking out for Michael.’ Alex knew he was being genuine, that didn’t mean he wasn’t still a little mad.

‘Well, I guess I’m two for two on arguing with the Evans siblings.’ Alex shrugged, trying to relieve the rest of the tension in the air.

‘Wait, you argued with Isobel and _survived_?’ Liz seemed to jump at the opportunity, to help him out.

‘Well it wasn’t as… loud as this one, but yeah, she definitely tried to murder me with her mind, but I’m still alive.’ Alex said, before turning to Michael, he looked just about dead on his feet.

‘Home?’ Michael asked. Alex nodded.

‘Home.’ Leaving the apartment was awkward, but once they were back outside in the fresh air, that fell away. ‘I hope I didn’t go too far.’ Alex said quietly, walking next to Michael. He didn’t look at him, suddenly afraid of what he would see.

‘With what?’

‘I don’t know.’ Alex admitted.

‘Me neither.’ Michael sighed. ‘Look, Alex, I would never have said any of the things you just said to Max, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t true. It’s hard for me to, I guess, stand up to Isobel and Max. For such a long time, they were all I had, and I guess I was scared to lose them.’

‘If someone is not willing to make an effort to treat you better, they shouldn’t be in your life.’ Alex said. If only he could follow his own advice.

‘What Shakespeare play did you steal that from?’

‘Self-help book, actually.’

‘Really?’

‘No.’

Michael held him just a little tighter that night. Alex wasn’t sure why. He’d truly been afraid that Michael would be angry with him. That he’d be mad that Alex was trying to fight his battles for him, even though that’s not what he’d been trying to do. He just wanted Michael to be supported, be loved, by the people that _should_ love him. Alex knew all too well how devastating it could feel to have your brother turn their back on you. He’d been through it. He’d never fought his brother’s like he’d fought Max that day, but maybe he should have. Somewhere along the way.

 

Alex went to see the team doctor the next day. He gave Alex permission to start _slow and easy_ workouts again. Basically that meant he was allowed to do some stuff in the gym, and he was allowed on the ice, as long as he wore a red no-contact jersey. The doctor had made sure to stress that he was absolutely not going to be allowed to take that off for at least another week. No matter how stubborn Alex was about the whole “I’m fine” thing. It seemed like the man had experience with persistently whining athletes.

The Bruins had him on the ice with Mattenson. The Swedish, first line centre that was out with concussion-like symptoms. He was a bit of an oddball. Alex liked him a lot. He was loud and would mix his English with Swedish, most of the time Alex had no clue what the man was talking about, but he was enthusiastic and loved hockey.

After two days of slowly getting back into training, Alex had come home, feeling tired, but much lighter then he’d felt since his injury. He was getting better. Making progress. He wasn’t the only one. Max had invited both Michael and Alex over for dinner with him and Liz. They (meaning Liz) would cook and host. Alex was actually a little excited about the whole thing. It was almost like their first real date.

After he and Michael had dinner and settled on the couch to watch reruns of Friends, they really weren’t expecting anyone. That’s probably why Michael almost fell of the couch when there was a knock at the door. Alex looked at Michael questioningly and he just shrugged, so Alex got up to open the door. Maybe it was just Marge from next door. When Alex opened the door however, he came face to face with-

‘Kyle? What are you doing here? How did you get in here?’ Alex blinked at him, confused and nervous.

‘Hi Alex. Your neighbour let me in, lovely old lady, she said she recognized me from the TV, apparently she’s a Bruins fan. I came to check up on you, I wanted to know how you were doing.’ Kyle said, Alex was trying to find an excuse to send him off. He didn’t feel prepared for confessions tonight and Michael laying shirtless on his couch at eight thirty seemed like a hard one to explain. ‘Of course I would like to come in, thanks for asking.’ Kyle said, before gently moving Alex out of the way and letting himself into the apartment.

‘Um, just hold-‘ Alex tried.

‘Hey Guerin.’ Kyle said casually. ‘Was I interrupting something? Sorry, but I don’t think you’re cleared for strenuous physical activity yet Alex.’

‘Excuse me?’ Alex was aware of how squeaky his voice sounded, but he couldn’t exactly help it.

‘What?’ Kyle asked, confused. ‘You thought I didn’t know about you two? Oh come on Alex, it’s pretty clear your type is snarky cowboy.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have this headcanon, that Alex has a really tight control of his anger/ agression, until you come after/ hurt someone he feels close to/loves. It's why he fought the O'Hare guy after he tried to hurt Kyle, that's why he snapped at Isobel and it's also why he loses his shit at Max.  
> Max, btw, will get a chance to redeem himself. I'm all for letting him realize his mistake and doing better, same with Isobel. Progress.
> 
> I have a much clearer idea of where I'm going with the next chapter, so that should be easier. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight


	12. Your name has echoed through my mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle is the best, Alex and Liz get on like wildfire and Michael is in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter. I still can't believe I'm keeping this up.  
> My Word document has officially reached over 100 pages. This is, without a doubt, the longest thing I've ever written. I have never even written something this long for school.  
> I also realized this chapter that the names Michael, Max and Alex are hard to handle for my dyslexic brain. Too many similar letters.

The last thing Michael expected to hear out of Kyle Valenti’s mouth, was that he already knew about him and Alex. It kind of stunned both of them into silence, and Kyle just sort of, made himself at home as they stared at him. Michael’s first coherent thought was “I’m not wearing a shirt”. It wasn’t his brightest moment ever, but he felt exposed.

As Kyle let himself into their fridge and muttered something annoyed about how there was nothing in there, Michael got up and went to grab a shirt. Well, one of Alex’s shirts. They were way more comfortable then his own. Soft and well-worn and loved and they smelt like that stupid cherry blossom-scented laundry stuff Alex used.

‘Would you like something to drink Kyle? Why yes Alex I’d love that. Do you have coffee? No because we’re freaky like that. Do you have tea? No because we’re insane-‘

‘Valenti, why the fuck are you having a conversation with yourself?’ Michael asked, feeling a little more brave now that he wasn’t so bare. Kyle closed the fridge with a sigh.

‘Because you both looked like you were having a minor mental breakdown, I had to entertain myself somehow.’ To his credit, Alex did look a little shell-shocked. He’d opened and closed his mouth several times and no sound had come out yet.

‘Well you should find some manners man, you’re the one bursting into our apartment unannounced.’ Michael said, leaning back against the back of the couch and crossing his arms. Kyle raised his eyebrows with a devilish grin.

‘ _Our_ apartment?’ Michael stilled.

‘How the fuck did you know?’ Alex’s first words saved Michael from having to come up with an answer for the question. Kyle’s face softened into something warm and kind.

‘I had an idea you two liked each other, but I didn’t figure out there was actually something there until Michael came to tell me to basically back the fuck off of you.’ Kyle explained, waving his hand vaguely at Michael.

‘We weren’t actually together when we had that conversation.’ Michael said. He remembered that specifically, because he’d felt a little awkward going over to Kyle to talk to him about Alex when he wasn’t even sure what he and Alex were to each other. But he also couldn’t deal with the way Alex’s shoulders would go tense whenever Kyle was around, and that was a lot.

‘Wait, really?’ Kyle said, genuine confusion on his face. ‘Huh, I didn’t see that coming.’

‘We really only have water.’ Alex said, finally unfreezing and joining Kyle in the kitchen.

‘That’s bullshit Manes, who doesn’t have coffee?’ Kyle grumbled.

‘Not all of us are as caffeine dependent as you are, Valenti.’ Alex rolled his eyes. ‘And we do actually have teabags here somewhere.’ Alex started pulling open some of the cabinets in the kitchen. As Alex rummaged around in the cabinets, Kyle made eye contact with Michael. There was something steady and warm in his face. It was like he was saying “I see what you mean to each other, and it makes me happy”. Maybe he’d been underestimating Kyle.  ‘I knew it!’ Alex exclaimed happily, holding up a box of teabags in triumph. He looked between Michael and Kyle with a confused expression. ‘Why are you two smiling at each other like that?’

‘Nothing.’ Michael said, and Alex narrowed his eyes.

‘Right. So, tea?’ Alex asked, Kyle nodded happily. Alex set to making tea as Michael decided to go and grab three mugs. Neither of them really drank tea much, but this seemed like a tea kind of moment. When the kettle signalled it was done and Alex had carefully put the hot water into the mugs, Michael handed one to Kyle.

‘There, go sit down.’ He said to him and Kyle smiled happily before moving over to the couch. It gave Michael and Alex a second. ‘You good?’ Michael set his hand on Alex’s lower back. Alex looked over at him, looking surprisingly calm for how freaked out he’d seemed at first.

‘Yeah, I’d been considering telling Kyle anyways.’

‘Everything?’ Alex shrugged noncommittally. That seemed like a maybe. ‘Alright, I guess I’ll follow your lead.’ Alex turned his head to look at him. The look on his face was one that Michael would have stuck in his head for weeks. A quiet sort of wonder, something soft and fond and comfortable. A warm smile spread over Alex’s face and he leant in to peck Michael on the lips.

‘Thank you.’

‘You two are adorable.’ Kyle commented, and Michael looked over to find him leaning back on the couch, watching them like a proud grandmother.

‘Stop staring at us, that’s creepy Valenti.’ Michael said, before taking both the mugs from the counter and heading to the couch.

‘You are creepy, Guerin.’

‘Oh wow, the middle school comeback? Nice.’ Michael grinned at him, and Kyle sighed.

‘Yeah it wasn’t my best work.’ He admitted and it made Michael unreasonably happy.

‘How’s the team?’ Alex asked as he sat down on the other side of the couch Kyle was on. Michael settled on the tiny second couch angled off it.

‘Meh, not great. We’re all getting a little frustrated.’ Kyle shrugged.

‘Yeah, that kid, Marchaux is not helping, I’m sure.’ Alex said, wrapping his hands tightly around the dark blue mug with constellations on it.

‘Kid? Alex he’s three years older then you.’ Kyle laughed. Alex mumbled something unflattering under his breath. ‘But no, Marchaux is not really helping. He’s trying, but he’s just kind of a mess. That’s not why I’m here though.’

‘Why _are_ you here, Valenti. Just to complain about our lack of coffee?’ Michael asked, he had a pretty good idea why Kyle was here, didn’t mean he had to make it easy for him.

‘I’m here to check up on your boyfriend’s ribs, Guerin.’ Boyfriend. He hadn’t heard that out loud before. It made something flutter in Michael’s stomach. ‘Oh that’s sweet, did you two just realize you’re boyfriends?’ Michael rolled his eyes.

‘Jesus Valenti, you are much too invested in our love life.’ Michael took his first sip of tea, it was some sort of wintery type tea with cinnamon.

‘Hey, I’m still painfully single over here, I have to live vicariously through you.’

‘Poor Kyle.’ Alex said without a shred of sympathy. ‘But thanks, my ribs are getting better, I’ve been on the ice with Mattenson for the last two days, I’m planning to be back for the game in Pittsburgh.’

‘Good, I _do not_ want to lose to the Penguins.’ Kyle said with an appropriate amount of disgust.

‘Of course not, the Pens suck.’ Alex huffed. ‘But let’s not expect that I’m just going to magically solve all of our problems, please. I don’t need the added pressure.’ Kyle seemed to hesitate. Michael could see the conflict in his eyes, he clearly wanted to ask something he knew wouldn’t be received well.

‘I heard you had a talk with Evans.’ Kyle settled on saying and Alex did shift on the couch.

‘Heard from who?’ He asked, voice level in that very careful, deliberate way.

‘Max.’

‘What did he say?’ Michael swore, if Max had said anything about what Alex had told (yelled) at him to anyone at the Bruins, Michael was going to lose his shit. 

‘I said I was thinking about going to check on you, and that I was hoping you’d be back soon. And he just said that he’d seen you, and that you’d felt good enough to be pissed at him.’ Kyle said. ‘I asked why you were pissed at him, and he said he deserved it.’ He shrugged. ‘Not sure what he meant by that.’ Now it was Alex’s turn to hesitate. He glanced at Michael who just shrugged.

He honestly didn’t think Kyle would judge him for the whole homeless thing. And after Alex’s righteous fury directed towards Max and his icy calm judgement towards Isobel, he felt fairly certain Alex would run Kyle over with a truck if he said anything shitty.

‘I told Max I was homeless for a bit, and had been living with Alex for three months. He was a dick about it. Alex yelled at him for it.’ Michael summarized. ‘And then he apologized. Max did, not Alex.’ Michael clarified.

‘What do you mean you were homeless for a bit?’ Kyle asked, frowning.

‘I lived in my truck for three months.’

‘Hold the fuck up. Why?’ Kyle sounded horrified. ‘Please tell me it’s not because you couldn’t afford your place anymore or something? Because I will absolutely tell my father he needs to pay you guys more. Do you even get health insurance? I should get him to give you guys a pay raise anyways, you work hard as fuck-‘

‘Valenti-‘

‘Like why do we even get paid millions when we couldn’t do any of this shit without you guys and-‘

‘Valenti-‘

‘It’s all bullshit anyways, what the fuck do I need millions for anyways-‘

‘Kyle!’ Michael finally exclaimed.

‘ _What_?’ Kyle snapped.

‘It wasn’t because of that. My landlord was a dick and instead of just going to find a new apartment I panicked and stuck my head in the sand until Alex forced me to face up to my stupid behaviour.’ Michael said, and Kyle was still frowning at him, but at least he’d stopped ranting.

‘I’m still going to tell my dad he should give you guys a pay raise.’ Michael rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.

‘You do that.’ Michael shrugged. ‘I don’t really need it though.’

‘Do you not pay rent or something?’ Kyle said with a laugh.

‘Nope.’ Now it was Alex’s turn to receive one of Kyle’s concerned frowny looks.

‘Alex, you shouldn’t pay for this place all by yourself.’

‘I’m not.’ Alex said. ‘My dad does.’ It was a bit like someone put an ice cube down the back of Michael’s shirt. Somehow, with everything being as good as it was, he had forgotten about that. Well, he hadn’t really, Jesse Manes was a constant looming presence in the back of his mind, but still, he’d allowed himself to fall into this false sense of security. The thought of waking up with Jesse Manes looming over him made a chill run down his spine. Alex seemed to have sobered a little as well.

‘Maybe you should find a new place?’ Kyle suggested. And that didn’t seem like a bad idea at all. ‘It can’t be nice to have him looming over you all the time.’

‘I don’t think getting a different apartment is going to help with that.’ Alex said and Kyle stayed quiet. Michael wasn’t sure if he should say something. This seemed like a thought Alex needed to think about for himself a little bit. ‘I can’t just move.’

‘Why not?’ Kyle asked, he’d calmed down and was now asking the question like he was genuinely curious.

‘He’s going to find out right away, right? I mean, I would need to cancel the lease on this place and since he’s paying for it, he would be notified of that right? He’d know immediately something was up. There’s been radio silence since I got hurt, I probably shouldn’t put his attention back on me now.’

‘Since _he_ hurt you, you mean?’ Kyle asked, he’d clearly figured that out on his own as well. Michael _really_ hadn’t been giving Valenti enough credit. ‘He’s going to find an excuse to do that anyways.’

Alex sighed, bone deep, it made Michael want to wrap him up in a blanket.

‘Probably.’

‘Get healed up first, then think about it.’ Kyle said. ‘I’m sure someone on the team knows a realtor that could help you out.’ He downed what seemed to be the last of his tea.

‘Thanks Kyle.’ Alex said, and Kyle quirked the corner of his mouth up in a half-smile.

‘No problem.’ Kyle put his mug down on the table and stretched his arms over his head. ‘I should head home. You boys be good, I will see you soon.’ Alex went to get up, but Michael waved him off.

‘I’ll make sure he actually leaves and doesn’t just hole up in the guestroom.’ Alex rolled his eyes but gave him a grateful smile.

‘Thanks. See you soon Kyle.’ Kyle went around the back of the couch and patted Alex on the head, he swiped at him but missed. Michael grabbed Kyle’s mug and took it to the kitchen with him where he left it. Kyle waited for him next to the door.

‘It’s good that you let him look out for you Michael.’ Kyle said. ‘You two need to have each other’s backs.’ He glanced over Michael’s shoulder. ‘Men like his father don’t just give up control.’

‘He’s going to make us fight for it.’ Michael agreed. The thought of it made his stomach clench, but he knew Kyle was right.

‘We’ll be ready.’ Kyle assured him. ‘You have people in your corner. Don’t forget that.’ Michael opened the door for him.

‘Thank you Kyle.’ It was probably the most meaningful exchange he’d ever had with Kyle. He realized Kyle was right. Jesse Manes was going to start a war. Him and Alex were going to need back-up. Kyle gave him a firm nod before heading down the hallway. He closed the door, locked it and set his head against the cool surface for a second.

He wanted to just ignore the looming thought of Jesse Manes, he wanted to just keep living in his nice little happy bubble with Alex, but this wasn’t just about him. It mostly wasn’t about him. It was about Alex and his safety. He joined Alex on the couch.

‘That went well.’ Michael said, letting himself sink into the cushions, watching Alex.

‘Yeah.’ Alex sighed, he looked fairly calm and content for the fact that someone had just mentioned his father. Most of the time that tension lingered for a while.

‘I think we should tell Maria.’ Michael said, now that he’d started thinking about the idea of forming a little army, the Alex Manes Defence League, he was starting to consider who to add. He didn’t know Maria all that well, but he knew Alex liked her.

‘Yeah.’

‘You just want to go to bed, don’t you?’ Michael asked with a smile.

‘Yeah.’

 

Alex was allowed to go back to training with the team (still in his red no contact jersey) two days later. His mood increased significantly and it made Michael feel lighter as well. Kyle did actually tell his father he should give the staff a pay raise and his dad told him he'd think about it. They’d planned their “it’s not an apology, but it’s absolutely an apology” dinner for that night and Michael wasn’t as apprehensive about hanging out with Max as he’d been for about as long as he remembered. Alex’s words had absolutely had an effect on Max. He’d been more involved, asking how Michael was (and asking him about Alex), he’d been less critical, attempting to just smile when Michael pushed his (and other people’s) buttons. They’d actually laughed together, and that had been a long time.

When Alex came off the ice, practically glowing with happiness, all Michael wanted to do was kiss him, and by the look on Kyle’s face, it showed. He grinned at Michael and Kyle bumped his shoulder against his. Michael rolled his eyes and Max dragged him away. The two of them had figured out that both of them knew about Michael and Alex and they’d apparently decided to make it their personal mission to grin and smirk at them as much as possible.

‘Liz.’ Alex grinned as the three of them met up with her in the lobby. She made a happy little noise and they hugged, Michael grinned at Max.

‘Your girlfriend likes Alex better then she likes you.’ He teased.

‘Of course she does.’ Max shrugged. ‘He actually understands her when she uses her big words.’

‘Hello babe.’ Liz stepped up to Max, and kissed him hello. Michael made a gagging noise and Liz rolled her eyes before coming to hug him too. They headed over to Max’s house, which was more towards the outer edges of Boston, where the houses were so big the bedrooms usually fit their entire apartment twice.

Michael liked to call Max’s house a castle. It had more space then anyone could possibly ever need, unless they had twelve children, which he didn’t. Michael didn’t really get it. All that space just meant more stuff to clean. But that’s why Max had someone do that for him, obviously.

‘So, what’s for dinner?’ Michael asked as they stepped into the entrance hall. Alex was looking around the place with a sort of horrified wonder.

‘Enchiladas.’ Liz said, leading them towards the kitchen, it was all marble and dark wood.

‘Awesome.’ Michael grinned.

‘Max is cooking them.’

‘Not awesome.’ Michael pouted. ‘Liz, my wonderful genius best of all best friends, you can’t let Maxwell murder your poor enchiladas.’

‘I have literally given him a step by step list of what to do. He can’t possibly mess this up.’ Liz said, dragging Michael and Alex from the kitchen, leaving Max behind on his own.

As it turned out, Max could _absolutely_ mess it up. Michael waited for Liz to take the first bite and Alex seemed to follow his example. They both watched as Liz chewed, made a face, tried to turn it into a smile and then gave up.

‘Why do I taste cinnamon?’ She asked with a frown. Max shrugged helplessly.

‘We could order Chinese?’ Alex offered, looking at his plate with an appropriate amount of apprehension.

‘Please.’ Max said, he looked scared of what he’d created.

They did exactly that. So instead of eating homemade enchiladas around Max’s fancy dinner table, they ended up eating Chinese on Max’s soft, dark grey couch, watching a basketball game none of them cared about.

‘This is nice.’ Michael said. ‘Makes me feel at home.’

‘Dinner on the couch while we pretend to pay attention to what’s going on, on the TV?’ Alex nodded. ‘Yeah, that seems about right.’

‘Well I’m glad you’re enjoying this.’ Max said, still pouting over his failed attempt at cooking. ‘At least someone is.’

‘I don’t know, this seems pretty appropriate for the whole general idea of an apology dinner. If you don’t suffer at least a little bit, then what’s the point?’ Alex asked before shovelling another bite of sweet and sour chicken into his mouth. Liz laughed.

‘Yeah, he’s right.’ It was incredibly nice to have Alex and Liz here. The two of them got along like a house on fire and they had no qualms about ganging up against Max, who seemed to take anything that Liz was involved with, with much more grace.

‘Alex.’ Michael said mildly. ‘I thought we agreed this wasn’t an apology dinner.’

‘We agreed this was a “it’s not an apology, but it’s totally an apology” dinner.’

‘What?’ Max asked, titling his head.

‘To be honest, I have no clue.’ Alex shrugged and Max actually laughed. Alex threw a self-satisfied little smile at Michael. He’d been doing that every time Max laughed at a joke he made. It’s like he was saying “see, even after I yelled at him, your brother still likes me”. Michael had tried arguing that was just because Max liked winning and he knew that Alex would be coming back from his injury soon, but Alex wouldn’t have any of it.

‘So, Michael, have you been thinking more about the whole college idea?’ Alex asked when a small silence fell. Max looked up, surprised.

‘You want to go to college?’ He sounded confused and it made Michael feel like clenching his jaw immediately.

‘Why is that such a weird thought?’ He asked defensively. Alex turned his eyes to Max, watching him carefully. Max opened his mouth, closed it, took a deep breath and answered.

‘That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t know you had been considering it.’ And if that, right there, wasn’t Alex’s influence, Michael didn’t know what it was. ‘What are you thinking about studying?’ Max asked, the look on his face was almost hopeful. It made Michael feel just a little bit emotional.

‘Not sure. Maybe astronomy, or mechanical engineering, or chemistry. There’s a lot out there that I like.’ Michael shrugged, he had been thinking about it. Mostly late at night, when Alex was already asleep next to him. The thought of going back to school, getting a degree, filled him with a nervous excitement.

‘But here in Boston, or somewhere else?’ Max asked, Michael glanced at Alex.

‘Probably here in Boston.’ Michael decided and he didn’t miss Alex’s smile.

‘Well there’s plenty of good schools here.’ Max said. ‘I’m sure all of them would love to have you.’

‘Yeah, with a brain like yours they should be paying you to come study at their school.’ Liz grinned over the edge of her wineglass.

‘Now _that_ would be nice.’ Michael grinned, pointing his fork at her. ‘I love the way you think Ortecho.’ Alex laughed softly, a low, pleased sound that send a shiver down Michael’s spine. He sounded so… at home. He must have been staring at Alex because he turned to look at him, he raised his eyebrows.

‘What?’ He asked, before looking away to set his plate on the coffee table. ‘You’re staring at me, Guerin.’

‘I know.’ Michael simply said, because, what else was he supposed to say. When Alex looked like this, all cosy in his sweater, smiling and soft and warm, Michael could barely make himself look away. The only reason he ever succeeded was because it wasn’t polite to have a conversation with someone while staring at Alex.

‘You two are so sappy.’ Max said.

‘Says the guy who told me his girlfriend was his hurricane.’ Michael said with a pointed look at Max.

‘You called me your _what_?’ Liz didn’t sound like she took that as a compliment. Max gave Michael a betrayed look.

‘It’s a compliment. You came into my life like a hurricane and you completely changed my life, for the better, obviously.’ Max said with a pleading smile.

‘Nice save.’ Alex said, making a face and giving Max a thumbs up from his side of the table. Max sighed, rolled his eyes and kicked half-heartedly at Alex.

‘I’m trying to make a heartfelt declaration here, shush.’ Max said and Liz sighed, trying to hide a smile and failing.

‘Alright, fine. I’m sure it’s meant as a compliment. Maybe just try not to compare me to a natural disaster next time.’ Liz said to Max. ‘And you, don’t throw your brother under the bus like that.’ She firmly told Michael, he saluted.

‘Wrong hand.’ Alex said in an off-handed comment.

‘Whatever.’ Michael shrugged.

They stuck around until it became clear Max and Alex were about to fall asleep right where they sat. Max offered them one of his (because, yeah, he had more then one) guestrooms. Alex looked at him, eyes conveying a clear _it’s your call_.  He had no doubt that if Michael hadn’t quite felt comfortable staying there yet, Alex would have dragged his tired body outside and got them a cab to the apartment. Michael didn’t want to do that to him though. He didn’t feel that out of place there anymore. Not with both Alex and Liz also in the castle. It was like the addition of two people that also seemed just a little uncomfortable by all the luxury made him feel more secure. So he accepted the offer. Max lead them to a room that he called “his favourite”.

It was, admittedly, beautiful. The bed looked like a dream, more pillows then anyone could possibly ever need, thick, fluffy blankets. The space was wide and the view over the back garden, because he’d almost forgotten the house had that too, was spectacular.

‘Sleep tight.’ Max told them before closing the door, because they also had their own bathroom. Alex was standing in the middle of the room, looking overwhelmed.

‘This is-‘ Alex didn’t seem to know how to continue.

‘A lot?’ Michael offered.

‘Yeah.’ Alex breathed out. ‘I mean, it’s beautiful, but it’s so _much_. I can’t imagine ever owning something like this.’

‘Me neither.’

‘That’s good.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kyle really is the most fun to write. His OTP is Alex and happiness, and Michael makes him happy. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight.


	13. Nothing safe is worth the drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Manes family enjoys breaking and entering, Wyatt Long is a dick in every universe and Michael considers murder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'est moi! Bon Soir! I'm in a freaking good mood today!  
> This chapter is one I've been looking forward to for a while.  
> This feels a little shorter then my normal chapters, but I wanted to end it where I do, so...
> 
> Again, I want to thank you all so much for your kind comments, they make me blush.

Alex felt like he was flying. He’d never been this happy being booed by a crowd. He just scored his second goal of the game, and it was only the first period. He just felt like the game was going in slow-motion for him. Like the net was twice the size it usually was. He let his head fall back and just yelled at the roof for a second. Kyle came flying into him.

‘What a fucking move.’ He yelled, giving Alex a hard pat on the helmet.

‘Nice job guys.’ Max grinned from the other side. ‘This is more like it.’ They’d put Alex right back on his line with Max and Kyle, and it was like he’d never left. Well that wasn’t even really true. Before he got hurt, they’d been having a slow few games as well, but now? It was like the were back to reading each other’s minds. Alex felt loose, red hot and ice cold. He also felt a little dizzy.

After the fist-bump line he ended up on the bench squished between Kyle and Franklin, one half of their top defensive pair. The adrenaline surging through his system was making his hands feel shaky.

‘You good Manes?’ Coach leaned over his shoulder, Alex nodded firmly.

‘Give me thirty seconds.’ He answered, he just needed a few seconds to breathe.

‘I’ll give you thirty minutes, as long as you keep scoring like that.’ Coach said, patting him on the shoulder before moving off. Alex sat there for a second and then just smiled. He could see Kyle looking at him.

‘That looks a little creepy to be honest, Alex.’ He said, leaning over to make himself heard.

Both him and Kyle end up with four points. Both of them got two goals and two assists. Max got the secondary assist on three of their four goals and also scored unassisted off a face-off. They absolutely hammer the Penguins 6-1 and all the headlines talk about the Bruins being back in business. _The kids are alright!_ , is what the Boston Herald lead with. They talked all about what they seem to have dubbed the “Perfection Line”. With 22 year old Valenti, 24 year old Evans and 19 year old Manes. It was all a little much considering they’d only been back together for one game.

‘Hey Alex.’ Kyle grinned as they got on the plane. ‘According to the Herald, you’re going to win the Calder this year.’ There were several agreeing noises around the plane.

‘We’re like two months into the season, the Herald needs to chill.’ Alex said, touching Michael’s shoulder briefly as he passed by him on the plane. They had not seen each other enough today. He missed him.

‘Nah kid, all you have to do is stay healthy. This years class has been super disappointing.’ Franklin commented.

‘Yeah.’ Kyle agreed. ‘How you were only picked at ten is beyond me. I’m happy about it obviously, but how? You know?’

‘Okay, enough with the Alex Manes compliment hour, you’re going to make me blush.’ Alex joked and there was a chorus of laughs throughout the plane. They flew to Ottawa next to play the Sens.

‘Hey.’ Michael came up to him in the locker room. He looked _good._ Maybe it was because they hadn’t seen each other much in the previous two days, but Alex could have sworn his curls were more golden and his eyes were brighter.

‘Hey.’ Alex said, he’d been in the middle of getting his gear on, but he paused to put his full attention on Michael.

‘Ready for the game?’ Michael asked, casually picking up a discarded glove from the ground. It was Kyle’s, of course it was.

‘Yeah, I feel good.’ Alex said and it wasn’t even a lie. His ribs hadn’t bothered him at all last game.

‘You look good.’ Michael said, his eyes widened. ‘On the ice, I mean.’ Alex felt a slow smile spread over his face.

‘Right. Thanks Guerin.’ Alex said, attempting not to smile too wide. Michael seemed like he was just going to walk away, but he hesitated.

‘Do you remember that O’Hare guy?’ Michael asked, Alex tilted his head and frowned.

‘Yeah, the one that I punched in my first game, right? The one that the B’s traded to Ottawa?’

‘Yeah, that’s him.’

‘What about him?’ Alex remembered him quite well, he’d made an impression, by being an asshole.  

‘He’s been yapping about how this team is overrated, how Max’s line is overrated and especially about how _you_ are overrated.’ Alex raised an eyebrow.

‘Really?’ He asked. ‘Does he not remember how the game ended for him last time? Because I’m pretty sure it ended with him getting stitches.’ Alex had such little patience for players that would just talk and talk but never back it up. Alex liked action. He also never promised something he couldn’t follow through on. Especially not when it came to his game.

‘Yes it did.’ Michael nodded. ‘I just figured you’d want to know.’

‘Well, I didn’t _need_ the extra motivation per se, but thanks.’ Alex smiled at him and Michael moved off to return Kyle’s glove to him.

The game was a nasty one. It seemed like games between Ottawa and Boston were going to be like that for the rest of the season. Alex had never actually just punched someone for the hell of it, but O’Hare was making that seem more and more inviting. He’d been chirping at Alex from the first puck drop. Alex was usually pretty good at just throwing back some snarky remark and leaving it at that, but O’Hare was making things more and more personal. Alex responded by laying a big open ice hit on the guy. He’d had his head down and Alex had just set his skates and flattened him. The crowd had let out a outraged cry for a penalty, but when the refs reviewed it, they came to the conclusion it had been a clean hit. That was good, because Alex had just been allowed back on the ice, the last he wanted was to get suspended now. They won the game, but it was much closer then any of them were comfortable with.

They flew back to Boston and won some more games. They beat Colorado, beat Detroit, beat Vancouver, almost lost to _Buffalo_ of all teams and before Alex knew it, he’d been back on the ice for two weeks. He was officially the top scorer on the team and more and more reporters started gathering around his locker after games. That wasn’t a bad thing per se, except for one particular extremely annoying reporter called Wyatt Long. He always asked questions with just a bit of a nasty undertone, always managed to bring up the one thing that hadn’t gone well for them that day. Alex did not like him.

‘God that reporter is an asshole.’ Kyle fumed as the door fell shut behind Maria, who’d lead the media from the locker room so the guys could change in peace. They’d just barely beaten Nashville in a Saturday afternoon game.

‘Which one?’ Max asked, they’d almost broken their six game win streak today. Nashville had almost tripped them up in the final minutes.

‘Wyatt Long of ESPN.’ Kyle said mockingly, making a mildly murderous gesture with his hand.

‘Oh yes, that one.’

‘He asked me if I thought the cold was going to have an effect on my playing. I asked him why and comes out with some bullshit about how I’m from Florida and that I’m not used to the cold weather.’ Kyle made a face. ‘Like, I’ve been living here for five years, I am used to the cold by now, you’re just racist, and think just because my mom is from Mexico I must automatically be born only to live in desert temperatures or something and I wanted to say that so bad, but I didn’t because I know Maria would _kill_ me if I started an argument with someone from the media.’

‘He’s a dick, absolutely, but he’s also the kind of guy that would write an entire article about how rude you are if you _did_ say something like that to him. He’s just a piece of shit and all we can do is smile and give him the most generic answers possible.’ Alex sighed, dropping his head back against the wall. Alex had, in fact, been making it somewhat of a sport to see how generic and short he could make his answers to any question by Long.

‘Oh yes, I particularly liked the one you did this morning.’ Kyle grinned, waving his hand in Alex’s direction. ‘When he asked you: “Do you think the team can realistically keep this pace up for much longer?” and you just went: “Yes.”, it was amazing.’ Alex grinned, he’d liked that too. Especially with the sour face Long had made after.

‘Boys.’ Coach came into the locker room, face that stern mask that was never quite stern enough to be believable. ‘I thought I told you to go home and rest.’

‘Right, sorry coach.’ Max said and he started herding the players into their shoes and coats and out of the door. It was actually kind of funny.

When Michael and Alex made it into the garage, they’d taken the truck that day because of the biting, freezing cold wind, Alex was about ready for a relaxed evening on the couch with Michael, they’d been meaning to start watching Prison Break (Kyle had been shocked to find out neither of them had seen that show), and this seemed like a great time for it. However, when they arrived at the front door, and Alex stuck his key in the lock, he found out the door wasn’t locked. Alex frowned at Michael over his shoulder, he looked confused too.

‘You locked the door, right?’ Michael asked, and Alex nodded.

‘Yeah.’ Michael looked concerned, and Alex understood why. Alex took a deep breath before opening the door, he could feel Michael right behind him.

He knew his dad had been too quiet. His critical texts had become less and less frequent, but Alex wasn’t as stupid to think it was because his dad thought he was doing a good job. They should have moved, or changed the locks.

Alex stepped inside, on his guard. In the living room, on the couch with his eyes closed was-

‘Chris?’ Alex said blankly. His brother opened his eyes. He was dressed in civilian clothes, and he looked like he had not been getting enough sleep. The scar along his hairline was new.

‘Ah, hey Alex.’ He said, getting up from the couch. His eyes drifted to Michael over Alex’s shoulder. ‘And you must be Michael.’

‘What the _fuck_?’ Michael said angrily. ‘What the hell is it with your family just breaking into your house?’ Michael stepped past Alex and he looked about ready to punch Chris so Alex grabbed his sleeve before he could get closer. He had no doubt Michael could throw a punch, but Chris was a highly trained Air Force operative, Michael wasn’t going to win that fight. Alex wasn’t about to allow that.

‘I don’t know, let’s ask.’ Alex said calmly, like his brother couldn’t hear him. Chris was probably the one he’d be least worried about if he found him randomly lounging around in his apartment. ‘Chris, why the fuck did you break into my apartment?’ Chris smiled, he’d always been good at the harmless puppy act. With his blond hair and his blue eyes, but that also meant he reminded Alex of a younger version of their dad and that had always messed with Alex’s head a little. He didn’t look like their dad right now. He looked just a tiny bit unsure in a way their dad never was.

‘Because you weren’t home.’ Chris shrugged. Alex made a face at him. A face that said: _Stop being an idiot_.

‘Seriously? I was playing a hockey game, you know, with the Bruins?’ Alex said, he could feel how tense and confused Michael was. ‘Also, I do actually have a phone.’

‘I know that, nice goal by the way, but breaking in was much easier. You should really get a better lock.’ Chris said, taking a step closer, Michael tensed further. Chris stopped. ‘Sorry, I haven’t even introduced myself. Chris Manes, Alex’s brother.’ He then held out a hand for Michael. Michael looked at it like he had seven fingers.

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ Michael asked. ‘Is he kidding?’ Michael turned to Alex.

‘Probably not.’ Alex admitted. Out of all of his brothers, Chris was the only one Alex had gotten along with at some point, but that was a long time ago, and a lot had happened since.

‘Chris, why are you here?’ Alex asked, not all that surprised by the tired tone to his own voice, his family was so exhausting. ‘I haven’t heard from you in months, haven’t seen you in at least a year, what the hell is this about?’

‘I have some things I need to ask you.’ Chris finally dropped the act and sobered, finally showing his tension on his face.

‘Yet again, phone.’ Alex said, he was so tired of the eternal games that his family seemed to feel the need to play. Always with the cryptic answers and the vague comments.

‘I need to ask you some things, privately.’ Chris said with a pointed look at Michael, who bristled, furious at Chris for even _suggesting_ that he left. He went to take another step towards Chris, but Alex held him back gently.

‘If you think I’m going to leave you alone with him, you’ve got another thing coming. You can stick _privately_ up your ass.’ Michael snapped, his jaw was clenched tight and he looked like he was about to start spitting fire.

‘This is family business.’ Chris said haughtily, in that annoying tone he seemed to have learned in the Air Force. He was just asking to be punched now.

‘Up. Your. Ass.’

‘How about I put you _on your ass_.’

‘Okay, enough. Both of you.’ Alex said firmly, placing himself between them. ‘Chris, whatever you want to talk about, I’m not making Michael leave, so just deal with it.’ Alex turned to Michael and tugged on his sleeve. It took a little persuading to get him to take his eyes off Chris but he managed to coax Michael into the kitchen. They could still see Chris, who sighed and wandered over to the bookshelf, tracing his fingers along the spines of the books.

‘I don’t like him.’ Michael grumbled, still not really looking at Alex. Alex sighed.

‘I caught that.’ Alex said, and Michael finally looked at him. He looked like was trying to choose between grabbing Alex and running or throwing himself over the counter and trying to choke Chris, and like the idea of murder was winning out. ‘Look, I know, okay. But he’s like, the least bad of my brothers and this seems serious.’

‘I don’t care. He can take whatever problem he has and choke on it.’ Michael said heatedly.

‘Look, if it’s something stupid, I will kick him out myself, but I’m kind of curious as to what he has to say.’ Alex tried to negotiate. He completely understood where Michael was coming from. He would never leave Michael alone with someone he perceived as a threat either. ‘I’m not asking you to leave us alone. Whatever he has to say, you can hear it. No more secrets, right?’ Michael looked at him, softened and sighed.

‘Fine.’ Alex smiled at him and made his way from the kitchen, Michael went to sit at the tiny dinner table, arms crossed over his chest, Alex went over to the couch.

‘Come sit over here.’ He told Chris. Alex went to sit with his back to Michael, so that Chris had to face both of them. Alex liked the idea of Michael being able to watch Chris as well. A second opinion would be nice, whatever his brother had to say. Chris flopped down on the couch and looked over Alex’s shoulder at Michael.

'Are you just going to sit there and glare at me the whole time?’ Chris asked with raised eyebrows.

‘Yes.’ Michael said flatly, daring him to say something else.

‘You wanted to talk, so talk.’ Alex said, crossing his arms over his chest. Chris threw one last annoyed look at Michael, but started talking.

‘When’s the last time you heard from dad?’ He asked, and that immediately made Alex tense. He wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but this wasn’t really it.

‘A few days ago. Why?’ He asked, Chris ignored him.

‘Is that normal? Or has he been more absent?’ Chris asked, leaning forward and setting his elbows on his knees.

‘He’s been more absent. Chris, why?’ Alex pressed.

‘How long has that been going on?’ Chris asked, there was something very serious in his face now that made Alex feel cold inside.

‘Since I got hurt, so about a month.’ Alex answered, he felt like there was a storm brewing, like whatever Chris was about to reveal would shake his world.

‘Yeah that makes sense.’ Chris said and Alex was starting to get annoyed now.

‘Chris, what the fuck is this about?’ Alex snapped. He clenched his jaw and held his brother’s gaze, he was not the same twelve year old that had been intimidated by his sixteen year old brother’s glare. He wasn’t about to play this game much longer.

‘Michael is your person, right?’ Chris answered and Alex wanted to wring his neck. What the fuck was he supposed to do with that? What did that have to do with anything? Since when did he care anyways? Alex could feel Michael’s tension behind him.

‘What do you want me to say to that?’ Alex asked.

‘The truth.’ Alex huffed, well that was a fucking funny thing for him to say. A Manes telling the truth, in what universe?

‘Like you’re telling me the truth?’ Alex countered.

‘Touché.’ Chris said, he looked at Alex carefully, he took a deep breath. ‘If this is the life you want, you should fight for it.’

‘That’s easy for you to say.’ Alex said.

‘I know.’ Chris admitted. ‘Look, I know I haven’t been a good brother. I ignored what was right in front of me because it was easier and I regret that more then I can ever explain. I know we’re never going to be close, I’ve fucked up far too much for that, but I am on your side now. I want to do better, be a better person.’

‘I don’t believe you.’ Alex said, he could feel the emotions push their way through his careful blank expression.

‘I understand that.’ Chris took a deep breath. ‘You don’t remember mom, do you?’ Alex frowned.

‘I was five when she left, no I don’t remember her.’ That wasn’t entirely true, he remembered her eyes, but that was because they looked back at him every time he looked in the mirror, and he remembered a warm feeling that he had not been able to get rid of, no matter how hard he tried over the years. ‘Why?’

‘Because I _do_ remember her.’ He swallowed thickly. ‘And about a month and a half ago I started to realize the whole story dad told me, didn’t make sense.’ Alex felt cold. Like someone had reached into his chest with a cold hand and grabbed his heart. Like someone had dunked his head into a bucket of ice water. Like he’d just been flattened by a hard hit.

‘What do you mean “the whole story dad told me”, you told me back then that she’d left, that you’d seen her get in the car and leave. You told me you watched her walk away from us.’ Alex said slowly, horrified. He’d been holding onto those words for years. If it had just been his dad who told him that, he wouldn’t have believed him. If it had been Flint he wouldn’t have believed it either. But Chris? He’d believed Chris. His brother clenched his jaw.

‘I never saw her leave.’ Alex felt like he couldn’t breathe. Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. It was like the truth slapped him in the face.

‘You think dad hurt her.’ He concluded, and Chris met his eyes, anger seeping into the blue of his eyes. He clenched his jaw and nodded once. Firm and sharp.  

‘Yeah. I do.’  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnn. Plot twist.  
> News flash: Jesse Manes is a piece of shit!
> 
> Also, in my world the unidentified Manes brothers are called: James and Chris. Because they are the most generic names I could come up with and that seemed like something Jesse would call his sons. Age wise: Flint is the oldest, then Chris, then James and Alex is the youngest. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight.


	14. This hope is treacherous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris gets his ass thrown out, Alex prefers to talk in the dark and Michael listens a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I'm running out of lyrics for these chapter titles... Hmm... 
> 
> Oh hey there, hi, hello. Welcome back! Another day, another chapter. I can't believe I'm still keeping this up. I /might/ miss tomorrow, I have a busy day, but I will try to make something happen! We're really getting into the thick of things now! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments, I usually post these before I go to sleep and waking up to all of your lovely words is a great way to wake up!

Michael felt like his heart was trying to beat its way out of his chest. He couldn’t even imagine what Alex was feeling right now. He remembered Alex telling him months ago, that his mom had left when he was a kid. It seemed like something that had been a really painful point for him. He’d sounded bitter. And to now find out the whole thing was probably a lie, that his mom did not leave him willingly, that he’d spend the last fifteen years being angry with her, while she may have been as much of a victim of his father as he was? That had to feel like someone hit him in the face with a chair.

‘I’ve been looking into the whole thing for a month now and the deeper I dig, the more it all falls apart.’ Chris said.

Michael still hated him. On principle. Michael wasn’t about to forgive what seemed like a decade of being a shitty person just because that person was figuring out now that they’d been an asshole. Too little, too late asswipe. Michael couldn’t see Alex’s face, but he knew he was overwhelmed, it was written in the line of his shoulders. Michael moved and Chris seemed to suddenly realize he was still there. Michael sat himself down on the arm of the couch, within reach of Alex, if he wanted to. Chris seemed to know about them anyways and fuck it, he wasn’t about to let Alex suffer through this alone.

‘What have you found?’ Alex asked, voice stuttering from his mouth like he had to force the words out. He scooted over, clearly an invitation for Michael to come sit next to him, so Michael did. Alex didn’t touch him, but he scooted close enough that Michael could feel him shaking.

‘Well I started looking for her, because I wanted to know why she left. I wanted to ask her. But the more I started digging, searching, the more I started to realize she’d just, disappeared, dropped off the face of the earth.’ Chris said, he did look genuinely disturbed, Michael had to admit that. ‘If there’s one thing us two have always been good at it’s technology, but even with the resources of the US Air Force, I couldn’t find any trace of her after that day. And that’s when I started realizing that I’d never actually seen her leave. I had told myself the story so many times over the years, I started to believe it myself.’

‘Why did you tell me in the first place? If you knew it was a lie, back then?’ Alex asked, the fire in the undertones of his voice made Michael feel like Jesse Manes had made a big mistake.

‘Dad told me that’s what happened, and that we had to make sure you understood that. So, I told you what dad had told me to say.’ Chris let out a deep shuddering breath, his calm impassive mask was really cracking now. ‘I don’t think you ever realized it, but I was scared of him too.’ That made a wave of fury crash over Michael.

‘Excuse me?’ Michael said, by the look on Chris’ face, he figured it coloured his voice too.

‘I think you should stay out of this.’ He had the same stubborn tone to his voice Alex could have.

‘I think you should not compare your experience with your father with Alex’s. Did he ever beat you to a pulp?’ Michael spit at him.

‘No.’

‘Then you may have been scared of the man in your own way, but you have no idea what it’s like to be afraid of someone _like that_.’ Michael managed through clenched teeth.

‘Have you talked to the police?’ Alex stopped both of them from arguing further.

‘No. I went straight to the FBI.’ Chris said. ‘Roswell PD would never go after dad. I tried to figure out why they never looked further into her disappearance, but then I realized that the Sheriff and dad were best friends in high school.’

‘Why do you think _I_ never went to the police?’ Alex said coldly. Chris needed a beat to process that.

‘Right.’ He said. ‘I met an FBI agent while I was State-side a while ago and so I called her. She knew some people in their Missing Person’s department. They’re looking into it now, I think that’s why dad has been more absent. He’s been focussed on this.’

‘So he knows the FBI is looking into him? Have _you_ talked to him?’ Alex asked, he seemed to be going over every interaction he’d had with his father over the last month.

‘Yeah, I’m pretty sure he knows, the FBI obviously isn’t telling me much of anything, but I think they may have gone to talk to him-‘

‘I swear to god Chris, if this somehow leads him back to me, I am going to kill you. If he doesn’t kill me first.’

‘What? Why would this lead him back to you?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, he’s probably going to assume one of us set this in motion? We both know Flint would _never_ , James is overseas, so that leaves you and me. Now, who do you think he’s more likely to come after?’ Fuck. Michael hadn’t even thought about it that way. Alex had a point though, a good one. Jesse Manes already took every excuse he could find to hurt Alex, an investigation into the possible disappearance/ murder of his wife? If he thought Alex had something to do with that, Michael was certain he’d be capable of something horrific. He was not letting Alex out of his sight again.

‘We should move to a different apartment.’ Michael said, he’d already been nervous about the thought of Jesse Manes just knowing where Alex was going to be, ever since Kyle mentioned it, but this just took things to a whole new level.

‘That’s only going to make me look guilty.’ Alex rubbed his hands over his face.

‘He’s already going to assume you’re guilty anyways.’ Michael reasoned.

‘God- _fucking_ -dammit. Don’t I have enough shit to deal with?’ Alex asked, exhaustion seemingly overtaking him. Chris shifted on the couch.

‘The FBI is probably going to want to talk to you.’ Michael threw him a disbelieving look.

‘You’re not helping.’ Michael snapped. Chris sighed.

‘I know, but I need you to be ready.’ Chris said, looking him dead in the eye with those icy blue eyes.

‘Me?’ Michael asked. ‘Why do _I_ need to be ready?’

‘You need to decide what you want to do, stick around and get dragged into this mess, or get out while you still can.’ Chris said. Logically, it probably wasn’t meant bad. They were talking about an FBI investigation into the disappearance of Jesse Manes wife. They clearly suspected there was foul play involved and if he was capable of that, what else would he be willing to do?

Alex looked at him. His eyes were sad and he looked like he was trying to smile. He set a hand on Michael’s-

‘What? No!’ Michael interrupted before he could even say anything. ‘I am _not_ leaving you.’

‘Our dad is going to come for you.’ Chris was now talking to Alex and Michael frowned at him. ‘Do you really want to keep him around for that?’ Michael realized what he was doing and he was on his feet before he even realized it. He was trying to get Alex to make him leave.

‘Do _not_.’ He hissed at Chris, who leant back, not seeming very intimidated by the idea of Michael, and _fine_ he was a nineteen year old kid and Chris was a twenty four-ish Air Force operative, but motivation was important. ‘Stop trying to manipulate him. I already know everything. I am not afraid of your father. If he wants to come, let him come.’

‘Chris.’ Alex voice behind him sounded empty. ‘Get out.’

‘What?’

‘ _Get out._ ’ Alex said with more force this time. ‘Michael is the only person in this apartment right now that I trust, I’m exhausted and fucking pissed, I’m going to have to talk to the Bruins tomorrow and tell them everything. I do not want you around right now. If you have anything else to tell me, call. You have my number. You show up in my place unannounced again? I’m calling the police. I am so fucking tired of you assholes thinking you can just waltz into _my life and judo flip it_.’ Alex’s voice got progressively more pissed as he went on, until in the end, it was more of a growl then anything else. Michael could feel him stand up behind him, Chris followed his lead. Alex brushed past Michael, grabbed his brother’s arm and dragged him towards the door.

Michael was ready to throw himself at the brother if he even so much as looked at Alex wrong. He didn’t. He seemed to let Alex drag him along, pained look on his face.

‘Alex come on.’ He tried.

‘No. Out.’ Alex demanded. ‘If you have anything else to say, call me tomorrow before nine.’ He opened the door, pushed his brother out into the hallway and closed the door in his face. Alex locked it, not that it had stopped him earlier, but the idea was nice. Alex just stood there for a second, staring at the door. When he turned around, Michael’s heart broke.

He’d clearly been holding on until his brother was out of the apartment, but now, his eyes were brimming with tears, his lower lip wobbled even though he was trying not to let it. He wrapped his arms around himself as the last of his control seemed to crack with a heart-shattering sob. Michael unfroze and headed for him as Alex let himself slide to the ground. Michael let himself fall on his knees in front of Alex. He could feel his own emotions banging at his control. It seemed like Alex in tears was not something he could handle. He wasn’t sure if Alex wanted him to touch him right now, so he reached out had let his hand hover in the little space between them.

Alex responded by practically throwing himself at Michael, who tipped backwards and was barely able to catch himself before he ended up flat on his back. When he’d steadied himself, Alex practically sitting in his lap, his face buried in Michael’s neck, his tears dripping onto his shoulder, he just wrapped his arms around him and held him there.

He didn’t say anything. What _was_ he supposed to say? Alex already had so much going on in his life, who the hell decided that he needed this added on top of everything? Michael had always hated crying. It was a sign of weakness he’d not been able to afford for so long, and he had the idea Alex felt the same. The full-bodied sobs that were shaking him told Michael he hadn’t just… let go, in a long time.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there. On the floor of the apartment, Michael swallowing away his own tears as Alex cried against him. Slowly, but surely, Alex’s sobs became less frequent. His hands were starting to unclench where he’d grabbed onto Michael’s shirt. When it had been about a minute since Alex’s last sniffle, Michael slowly moved one of his hands from Alex’s back and ran it through his hair. Alex let out a soft, watery breath.

Michael’s legs felt like they were dying and he was sure Alex couldn’t feel much better.

‘Let’s go to bed.’ Michael said softly. The promise of blankets and a mattress sounded very nice. He could feel Alex nod against his skin. Unwrapping themselves from each other turned out to be a challenge. Alex flinched as he pushed himself up off the floor, his body clearly protesting against being removed from the position it had been in for so long.

It wasn’t until they were safely under the blankets in the dark, Alex plastered against Michael’s side, cold toes tucked under Michael’s calves, that he spoke.

‘I can’t believe I never saw it.’ Alex said into the darkness, his voice was still soft and croaky. ‘I can’t believe I believed them for all those years and never even thought to question it. After everything they did, I still just believed them.’ He was angry at himself, Michael realized. His brother had just told him there was a possibility his father had something to do with his mother’s disappearance and Alex was blaming himself.

‘You can’t blame yourself for your mind not going there Alex.’ Michael let his fingers trail over Alex’s arm, up and down, up and down.

‘I know what my dad is capable of.’ Alex’s hand was settled against Michael’s stomach, he could feel Alex forcing himself to take slow breaths.

‘You were so young, Alex. You said you don’t even remember her, how were you supposed to know?’ Michael asked. He was trying to make him see that he couldn’t have known.

‘I know I can’t trust my dad, or my brothers, should that not have been enough?’

‘No.’ Michael said simply. ‘You’ve spend the last decade _surviving_ , Alex.’ Alex was quiet for a while. So long, in fact, that the only way Michael knew he hadn’t fallen asleep was because his breaths were too measured.

‘I have her eyes.’ He could hear Alex swallow. ‘That’s the only part of her I remember, because I see them whenever I look in the mirror.’ Michael felt the emotion of that statement crawl up his own throat.

‘And her skin right? There’s no way your pasty ass white dad is responsible for _this_.’ Michael slid his hand under Alex’s sweater, tracing a circle over the soft skin of his back. He was trying to at least make him smile. The low, watery laugh was a gift.

‘Yeah, and her skin.’ Another silence stretched between them. Michael didn’t think he’d be able to sleep at all that night. Alex’s sobs seemed burned into his soul. He wanted to _destroy_ everyone responsible for them. ‘I’m going to ask if mister Valenti has time tomorrow morning.’

‘Just getting it out of the way.’

‘Yeah.’ Alex sounded like he would much rather turn and run. ‘I think I’d like to just get it all out of the way, right away. Tell them about this whole FBI mess, my dad and us, if you’re okay with that.’ It was probably good that neither of them could see the other’s face in the dark. Michael knew he would have looked nervous at the thought.

‘Yeah, that’s okay.’ He hesitated. ‘I could come with you.’ He didn’t _want_ to, but the idea of Alex having to do this alone made him feel a little sick. Alex shifted, he turned and planted his elbows on the bed so he could stare at Michael through the darkness. He couldn’t really see Alex very well, just sort of the outline of him.

‘Really?’ The hope in Alex’s voice was so pure and grateful it made Michael glad he’d offered.

‘Yeah, we could go together, maybe tell mister Valenti, coach and Maria? They seem like the most important people to be in the know, right? Plus you would only have to tell the story once.’ Michael reached out to trace his hand along Alex’s cheek in the dark. He could feel Alex smile and that was a bigger relief then he ever could have imagined.

‘Yeah. Together sounds nice.’ Alex said. He leant towards Michael. ‘Thank you.’ He whispered. Alex kissed him, his mouth was soft as ever.

‘No problem. We’re in this together.’ Michael said as Alex pulled back.

Michael was not sure when or how he fell asleep, just that he did and that he woke up with Alex tucked under his arm. That morning at eight a.m. sharp, Alex called the GM of the Bruins to ask if he could talk to him, coach and Maria that morning at nine. Mister Valenti agreed, he seemed to realize that whatever Alex wanted to talk about, it was serious. Michael texted Sanders he’d be late, because he needed to talk to Mister Valenti.

Alex was in the kitchen, his phone on the counter playing some song by what sounded like Adele. He was making what smelt like French toast. They were a good match as far as food went. Alex was good at making breakfast, Michael was good at making dinner.

‘ _Daydreamer. With eyes that make you melt. He lends his coat for shelter. Plus he's there for you, when he shouldn't be. But he stays all the same, waits for you, then sees you through_.’ Alex sang along softly, Michael stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist.

‘That smells good.’ Michael mumbled into Alex’s skin. ‘What’s that song called?’ He wanted to burn it into his skin.

‘Daydreamer.’ Alex answered, twisting so he could kiss Michael’s temple. Michael hummed.

‘Adele, right?’ Alex nodded before settling their breakfast on one plate. They’d realized pretty soon that they both hated doing dishes, so sharing a plate whenever possible was their new trick. ‘I’m starting to think you’re trying to tell me something with your song choices.’ Michael mused as he grabbed the plate and brought it to the table.

‘Hm, what exactly would I be trying to say?’ Alex asked, taking a piece of the toast after he dropped off two glasses of orange juice.

‘That you love me?’ It was supposed to be a joke. Well, a sort of half “eh am I really kidding” joke, but Alex just sort of tilted his head.

‘I thought that was obvious.’ Alex just took a bite of his toast and looked at Michael with a calm expression. Michael blinked at him. Alex pushed the plate towards him. ‘Come on Guerin, eat. We’ve got to go soon.’

Michael did as he was told. As good as Alex was at acting like he was fine, Michael could see he was nervous. When they walked into Warrior and headed towards the offices, Alex started to get progressively more tense. When they stopped at the desk of mister Valenti’s secretary, Alex took a deep breath.

‘Hey Ryan, I have a meeting with mister Valenti.’ Ryan looked up at him.

‘Yes, hi Alex… and Michael. I wasn’t aware you’d be joining them?’ Ryan smiled, confused. ‘Miss DeLuca and Coach Cassidy are already there.’

‘I asked him to join me.’ Alex smiled back, outwardly calm, but Michael could see his fingers drumming against his thigh.

‘Alright,’ Ryan adapted easily. ‘Go ahead.’ He gestured for the door. Alex rolled his shoulders, set his face to “let’s fucking go” and made his way into the office, Michael followed his lead. He closed the door behind them and turned to find three slightly confused, but smiling faces.

‘Alex, good to see you.’ Mister Valenti said with a smile, reaching out to shake Alex’s hand. Michael hadn’t had much experience with Kyle’s dad, but the stories he heard were good. Coach clapped Alex on the shoulder in greeting and Maria hugged him with some low words Michael couldn’t catch, Alex nodded.

‘Michael.’ Maria said with a smile that did not look as questioning as he’d expected it to be. She pulled him in for a hug as well.

‘Hi Maria.’ He said, annoyed by the nerves reflecting in his voice.

‘Michael, I wasn’t aware you’d be joining us.’ Mister Valenti said looking at Alex before shaking Michael’s hand as well. Alex looked at him steadily.

‘I asked him to come along.’ Mister Valenti looked confused, but not like he minded. Coach patted Michael on the shoulder just like he’d done with Alex.

‘Alright, have a seat.’ Mister Valenti said. ‘Let me get you a chair as well.’ He went and grabbed a fifth chair from the corner and set it next to Alex’s. When Michael had settled, mister Valenti looked at Alex.

‘Thank you for doing this on such short notice.’ Alex started off. ‘I appreciate it. There has been a lot going on in my personal life recently, and I didn’t want to tell you at all, to be honest. But it’s come to a point where I have to. Now, it’s quite a long story, but it all connects to each other, so I’m just going to tell it to you from the start.’ Alex started to talk.

Michael had never been this impressed by anyone before. Despite the difficult, terrifying and horrible things he was telling them, Alex remained steady. His voice level and his back straight. He wasn’t ashamed of what he was telling them. He delivered it like facts, almost like he was telling someone else’s story. Calm and cool and collected, but with just the right amount of detail here and there to make the three people hearing the story for the first time horrified. Maria’s face reflected much of what Michael had felt when he’d first heard the story of Alex’s childhood.

She glanced at Michael more then once. Checking his reaction, it seemed. She seemed to realize fairly soon he already knew the story. Alex also told the story without mentioning Michael’s living situation before he moved in with Alex.

‘I realized fairly soon that he hated me so much because I was gay.’ Alex just did it. He just put it out there. He threw it out, in fact. Like he wanted to be sure that was understood.

‘Is that where Michael comes in?’ Mister Valenti asked, he didn’t sound disgusted, or angry, he just sounded curious. Alex glanced at him.

‘Yeah.’ Alex said, unsteady for the first time. ‘We, um-‘

‘You don’t have to elaborate if you don’t want to.’ Mister Valenti said kindly. ‘You’re already sharing a lot with us, and we appreciate that.’ Alex nodded.

‘He means a lot to me.’ Was what he seemed to decide on. Maria’s eyes fixed on Michael and he could feel himself blush.

‘That’s adorable. I’m so glad you two have each other.’ She said with a grin. Alex blushed too.

‘Thanks, but I wasn’t done yet.’

‘No, I figured that.’ Mister Valenti said, back to the serious look that had been on his face. ‘Go ahead.’

‘I didn’t really injure my ribs during the game against St. Louis, well, the hit didn’t help, but I was hurt before that.’ Alex continued to explain how his dad had come to see him and motivate him to do better. Mister Valenti looked angry then, but Alex barrelled on, right into the story of how his brother had shown up the day before. He explained the whole thing, holding nothing back except for how he broke down after his brother left. They didn’t need to know that anyways.

‘So I’m probably going to be questioned by the FBI at some point.’ Alex concluded. Coach looked ready to put someone through a table, mister Valenti had his jaw clenched so tight he was going to crack a tooth and Maria looked like she was debating between poison or a knife.

‘You have had all this going on, and you’ve still played the way you have?’

‘Compartmentalizing.’ Alex shrugged. ‘I’m quite good at that.’

‘I know you told us why you never went to the police, but can we at least, I don’t know, invite him for a boxing lesson or something? I can’t believe I shook that monster’s hand.’ Coach didn’t sound like it’d be a boxing _lesson_ as much as a straight up street fight.

‘He would kick your ass, coach.’ Alex said, matter-of-factly.

‘Now that we know, would you consider going to the police?’ Mister Valenti asked.

‘With the FBI getting involved in this, I have a feeling it’s going to come out soon enough.’ Alex sighed. ‘My whole carefully build house of cards is going to come crashing down on me and there’s nothing I can do about it.’

‘Would you like to write a statement?’ Maria asked, leaning over to set her hand on Alex’s arm. ‘That way when it comes out, we can release that, and you won’t have to immediately deal with media and such.’

‘I can’t really avoid them, can I?’ Alex asked her. She huffed.

‘You can do whatever you want. Even if you never wanted to talk to them about any of this, ever, I would make that happen.’ She looked at him with a fierce, protective look that made Michael feel warm inside. ‘You don’t owe anyone anything. I’m there for you, not for them.’

‘Plus, you will have the full support of the Bruins organisation, right?’ Coach asked mister Valenti.

‘Absolutely. You are one of ours Alex, no matter what has happened to you or who you love.’ Mister Valenti said with a solemn expression. ‘And that goes for you too Michael.’ He was a little startled at being addressed, no one had really done that yet, he really was just here for support, this wasn’t his story. ‘Gay or not, you are a member of this family.’

‘I’m bi, actually.’ Michael wasn’t even sure why he opened his mouth? He could have just nodded and said thank you. ‘I mean, thank you, but I’m bisexual.’ Mister Valenti took a second but then nodded.

‘Alright, gay, straight, something in between or outside of that, you are a valuable part of this team.’ Michael looked over at Alex who looked about ready to go to bed, already. It was barely ten and he already looked exhausted.

‘Thank you, sir.’ Alex said, taking a deep breath.

‘I’m very happy that you felt comfortable enough to share this with us, both of you. That was very brave and if there’s anything we can do at any point, or if there’s ever anyone that doesn’t treat you with respect because of this, let us know and we will take action. We say hockey is for everyone. We mean it.’ Mister Valenti said and Michael wondered at which “how to deal with not straight employees” course he’d learned that. It was nice.

‘Yes sir.’ Alex said, started to get up. Michael followed his lead. Maria hugged them both tightly.

‘Dinner soon.’ She told Alex and he nodded with a small smile.

‘Yes ma’am.’ He said and Maria rolled her eyes. Coach hugged Alex too, he looked a little surprised at that, but he just patted the man on the back softly. Coach shook Michael’s hand. Mister Valenti did the same with both of them.

‘Maybe you’ll think about telling the team.’ He said to Alex. ‘You told me Max and my son already know, which I am pleased about, but it might be good to tell the rest of them too. You could tell them some of it, or all of it, or none. Just think about it.’ Alex didn’t look like he was quite ready for that thought yet, but he nodded with a smile regardless.

‘We will think about it.’ And Michael appreciated that Alex included him in that statement. He knew Alex was baby hockey-Jesus and everything, but he was actually also a part of this relationship.

‘For today, go home. Come back tomorrow.’ Coach told them before they left the office. ‘Both of you. I’ll talk to Sanders.’

Michael would have argued, but the need to be with Alex, just be near him was too strong. Maybe they could go look for a new apartment. One he _would_ be paying for. One that would actually be theirs. It was a little insane. They hadn’t been together all that long, but with everything they’d shared, the way they understood each other, this didn’t feel like something temporary. _Cosmic_ did really seem like the right word.

When they stepped outside, Alex let out a delighted laugh. A sound that settled behind Michael’s breastbone and made him feel warm all over.

‘It’s snowing!’ Alex called out, clearly delighted. He turned to Michael and he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. His eyes were wide and he looked enchanted, holding his hands out in front of him to catch the snowflakes, titling his head back to catch them in his mouth. Shit, he was _in love_. Michael laughed.

‘I can see that.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Alex already had so much going on in his life, who the hell decided that he needed this added on top of everything?" It's me, I decided that, sorry. 
> 
> Alex really is getting more and more fed up with everyone telling him how to live his life and now that they actually have something on Jesse, that should make their next interaction very interesting. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	15. This daydream is dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex plan a date, Kyle stops Alex from committing murder and FBI agents have terrible timing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Pffff, sooo I went to war with this chapter, I just couldn't get it to cooperate with me. 
> 
> You guys remember O'Hare? Yeah, he's back and he's basically the biggest asshole on the planet, so be prepared. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments, as always, they make my fingers start moving!

As it turned out, snow was great and it looked super pretty, but it was also real fucking cold. Alex was a smart guy, and theoretically he’d known this, but he’d been super distracted by the beauty off it, and that this stuff was actually _falling from the sky_. Now, though, as he sat on the couch even colder then he normally felt, he regretted his decision to walk home instead of taking a cab like Michael suggested. His hands felt more like ice cubes and Michael refused to let him come near him, which was unfortunate.

‘Michael.’ Alex whined. ‘I wanna cuddle.’

‘No. You are a literal ice cube, I already have to deal with your feet every night, I have to draw the line somewhere, Alex.’ Michael said, he was bent over the laptop, scrolling through apartments.

‘But I’m not that cold anymore.’ Alex insisted, Michael looked at him over his shoulder with narrowed eyes.

‘Lies.’ Alex pouted, but he stayed in his corner, snuggled under a blanket.

‘Anything good?’ Alex asked, Michael seemed to be scrolling through the listings at a very fast pace. They’d made the decision to just start looking for a new place. Their place. One that didn’t have Alex’s dad looming over them all the time. One with a proper lock that his dad didn’t have the key to. They didn’t have many demands, they didn’t want anything too big, neither of them was very comfortable with the idea of getting a huge place just for the two of them. They didn’t need the space, so why would they bother paying for it? Or cleaning it?

‘There’s just so many _options_.’ Michael said with a sigh. ‘Maybe the idea of a realtor isn’t that crazy after all.’

‘You want to buy something?’ Alex asked, that seemed a little more scary then just renting another place.

‘Can’t a realtor also help you find a place to rent?’ Michael asked, frowning.

‘I have no clue.’ Alex admitted.

‘I’ll ask Is, she seems like the kind of person that would know that.’ Michael said, plucking his phone from the table. Alex nodded, it did seem like something Isobel would know, she was a fully functioning adult.

‘Do you wanna go out?’ Alex asked suddenly. He’d been toying around with the idea for a while now, and the more people he told about him and Michael, the more people didn’t react like his father, the more he felt like maybe the could do this. Maybe he could be out _and_ be in the NHL. Maybe he could take Michael out for dinner. He didn’t want to hide him away.

‘Go where?’ Michael asked, confused look on his face.

‘I don’t know, go for dinner or something?’ Alex shrugged. Michael seemed to be searching for something in his face.

‘I was kind of looking forward to making that Mediterranean chicken.’ Michael said. ‘But if you want, we could go somewhere.’

‘Well, I really want to _eat_ that Mediterranean chicken, I just figured maybe at some point we should go on an actual date?’ Alex knew that him and Michael hadn’t exactly followed the normal path of how people got together. They hadn’t really had a first date, unless you counted that dinner at Ortecho’s the day they first met, but at that point neither of them knew what they were getting themselves into. Michael smiled at him, those big, soulful eyes open and warm. Shit he was _in love_.

‘Alright, we probably should. Maybe next week, let’s just take it easy today.’ It felt very nice that Michael didn’t seem in a hurry. He really made it seem like they had all the time in the world. ‘There’s no rush, I’m not going anywhere.’ Michael added like he could read his mind.

Alex couldn’t help himself. He leant over to kiss Michael, sliding his hand along Michael’s neck-

‘Argh!’ Michael jumped. ‘I can’t _believe_ I fell for that. You _are not_ warmed up yet.’ Alex laughed as Michael pouted at him.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.’ Alex tucked his hands under his legs, trying to warm them up.

‘I’m just too pretty right? You just can’t help yourself.’ Michael said jokingly.

‘Yeah, exactly.’ Alex answered, dead serious. Michael blushed.

‘Stop it.’

‘Nope.’

 

It took three days for shit to hit the fan. Alex got a visit from the FBI, at Warrior Ice Arena, during their morning skate, on a game day. These guys had shitty timing. There were several Bruins writers there, staff and other players that heard them introduce themselves.

‘I’m special agent Thomas, this is special agent Morgan.’

‘Alex!’ Coach had actually called him over, only focussing more attention on him and the two men dressed in generic black suits. He was still on skates and in full gear, so he tucked his glove under his arm so he could shake their hands.

‘We’d like to talk to you.’ The tall one, Morgan said. He looked in his early twenties, clearly the junior of the pair.

‘Yeah, I figured as much.’ Alex replied. ‘Can I get changed? I do have a game tonight and I really don’t want to fuck over my muscles completely.’

‘Can we meet you in the locker room?’ The frowny one, Thomas asked. Middle aged white dude. What did they think he was going to do? Run?

‘Sure.’ Alex agreed before heading off the ice. He really wasn’t as nervous about this whole thing as he’d expected he’d be. There was a strange sort of calmness that he’d found the day before. When he’d come to the conclusion that this was it. This was his chance to finally get the upper hand on his dad. All he needed to do, was make sure the FBI believed him, took him seriously and recognized the danger his dad presented. It was an opportunity to find out the truth, for once, from an independent party. It was an opportunity to get some control of his own life.

Control the narrative.

‘Ask away.’ Alex said as he stripped off his jersey. Morgan coughed awkwardly.

‘We could wait until you’ve changed.’ Alex sighed, straight people.

‘No it’s fine.’ He made sure to face them, because it seemed rude to turn his back on them.

‘Alright. Do you know why we’re here?’ Thomas asked.

‘Yeah, I think so. I spoke to my brother three days ago.’ Alex started to undo his pads. Morgan was avoiding looking at him for longer than a second and Alex forced himself not to roll his eyes.

‘Which one?’ Thomas asked, looking at Alex steadily. At least one of them had some chill.

‘Chris.’

‘Ah, okay. Well, can you tell us about your relationship with your father?’ Thomas asked, Alex stripped off his pads and undershirt and put on a Bruins hoodie. He started unlacing his skates as he started talking. He told them the whole thing. The more he was saying the words out loud, the more he told the story, the less it started to feel like he had to physically drag it out of himself.

When he finished, Thomas looked a little taken aback. Like he’d know the general idea of the story, but not the details Alex was able to give.

‘So, what would you say is the worst thing your dad ever did?’ Morgan asked, now that Alex was fully dressed, he seemed to have found his equilibrium again.

‘To me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, there was that one time he came after me with a baseball bat when I was sixteen.’ Alex said. That was a story he hadn’t actually told before.

‘A baseball bat?’

‘Yes, I tried to stand up to him, so he struck back harder than he ever had before.’ Alex took a deep breath. ‘I don’t remember much of what happened, just that I woke up in the hospital with broken ribs, a fractured jaw and a skull fracture.’ The beat of silence after that lasted just a bit too long.

‘Do you think he’s capable of murder?’

‘Yes.’ Alex had had time to think about his answer to that question.

‘Do you remember anything about the day your mother disappeared?’ Thomas asked.

‘I was five. No, I don’t.’ Alex set his elbows on his knees and dropped his head in his hands, suddenly overwhelmed by that desperate feeling of regret, guilt. ‘Everything I thought I knew, were lies. I’ve spend the last fifteen years hating my mom for leaving me with dad, and it was all bullshit.’

‘Well, that’s what we’re investigating.’ Thomas said. ‘We’ll contact you if we have any more questions. Meanwhile is there anything you want to ask us?’

‘Yes. I meant what I said about my father. If he thinks I set this in motion, he’s going to try to kill me. Is there any way you can tell me where he is right now? Warn me if he comes to Boston?’ Alex asked. He didn’t necessarily _want_ to ask them for help, but they had resources he didn’t, valuable ones.

‘We can’t tell you where he is right now, but we can mark him as a threat to a witness’ safety, which means we can alert you to his presence in Massachusetts.’ Morgan said, Alex nodded, that would do.

‘That would make me feel better. Thank you.’

‘Now, you can’t share any details of the investigation, especially not with the media.’ Thomas said strictly. That was a very broad statement though.

‘Am I allowed to say there _is_ an investigation into the disappearance of my mother? Otherwise it’s going to be very hard to explain why there were two FBI agents visiting me.’ Alex said, he didn’t exactly want people to start making up their own reasons.

‘Yes, you can say that, but that’s it.’ Thomas said. ‘We have to protect the integrity of the investigation as much as we can.’ Alex wasn’t sure what that meant, but he understood what he could and couldn’t say and that was the most important.

‘Okay.’

‘He’s my card,’ Morgan stepped forward handing Alex a little rectangular card. ‘my private number is on the back, if you think of anything or have any questions, you can, um, call me.’ He was… blushing? Huh, maybe he’d misjudged the whole “straight” thing.

‘Thank you.’ Alex said, he should probably have gotten up and shaken their hands or something adulty and mature, but he didn’t. The feds didn’t seem insulted, so he figured they didn’t mind. They left him there, alone in the locker room. As they left, Maria entered.

 _This war you’re fighting, you’re going to win, I can feel it_.

He’d replayed the words she whispered to him over and over in his mind for the last three days. 

‘Hey Alex. All good?’ Maria asked, sitting down next to him on the bench.

‘Yeah. I’m alright.’

‘Good.’ She said and she took his hand. ‘I think we should put out a statement, just a simple: The FBI is currently investigating the disappearance of- what was your mother’s name?’

‘Citlali.’

‘-Citlali Manes, the family currently declines to answer any questions as this is an active investigation.’ Maria squeezed his hand. ‘There, done. No one will be allowed to ask you about it, that way you won’t have to avoid the questions either, anyone who does ask will be kicked out.’

‘Thank you Maria, that sounds good.’ Alex said, he gave in to the urge and dropped his head on Maria’s shoulder. Her dark red blazer was soft as hell against his skin. She ran her free hand through his hair.

‘Everything is going to be okay, believe me.’ Alex was kind of surprised to find out he did.

‘I do.’

‘Good.’ He could hear the smile in her voice. ‘Now, I’m going to go send that out. Maybe you should go find your boy.’ Maria patted him on the head and he lifted his head off her shoulder. That did sound like a good idea.

He didn’t really get the chance to, coach had decided to end the morning skate and so the locker room filled with his curious looking teammates.

‘So, Manes, are you going to prison?’ Their fourth line centre, Wagner, asked.

‘Nah, not me.’ Alex said. He wasn’t really sure how to say this. He needed the team not to be distracted by him, that was the last thing he wanted. ‘They’re looking into my mom’s disappearance.’

‘Dude, your mom is _missing?_ ’ Mattenson asked with wide eyes. ‘When did that happen?’ Alex realized he probably seemed weirdly calm about the whole thing.

‘Oh, um, fifteen years ago.’ He clarified.

‘Oh, okay, that makes more sense.’ Mattenson breathed out. No one else really seemed to know what to say, and neither did Alex. Luckily, there was Kyle.

‘I’m sure they’re going to figure it out.’ He said, coming over to pat Alex on the shoulder. ‘Meanwhile we should go and crush some Leafs.’ That brought the locker room conversation back to hockey and it allowed Alex a second to breathe.

 

‘So? All good?’ Michael came up to him as they were getting dressed for the game. ‘Sorry I couldn’t check up on you earlier, Martin had me running in circles.’ He looked annoyed about that, Michael always looked annoyed about Martin.

‘Yeah, I’m good.’ Alex confirmed, he felt anxious and like he was being watched, but good enough. Michael smiled at him and nodded.

‘Good, I saw the thing the B’s released about it. Nice and vague. Did they tell you anything new?’ Michael asked.

‘No, not really.’ Alex shrugged, he was going for casual, but by the look on Michael’s face, he didn’t quite succeed. Michael looked like he wanted to reach out to him, but he looked around at the other players around them and didn’t. That did not feel nice. Alex swallowed.

‘Go kick some ass tonight.’ Michael said, he was going to walk away, but Alex reached out and grabbed his wrist. Michael looked surprised, but he stayed put.

‘That ice-skating rink downtown? Let’s go there next week. You and me.’ Basically asking Michael out on their first real date in the middle of the locker room fifteen minutes before a game, wasn’t the most well thought out thing Alex had ever done, but it came from the heart.

‘Okay.’ Michael agreed easily, but his smile was brighter than it had been before. ‘The day after the Florida game?’

‘Yeah.’ Alex agreed. ‘It’s a date.’

‘It’s a date.’ Michael confirmed, pressing his lips together, trying not to smile. The look settled any nerves Alex may have had.

The game was _good_ , for the crowd at least. It was tense, high energy, aggressive and the B’s pulled off the win in OT. The players? Well, if they felt anything like Alex felt after, were not as happy. They’d missed multiple goal opportunities, struggled on defence and had taken way more penalties then they usually did. Even Max had ended up in the penalty box. He looked very annoyed about it. Mattenson had scored the overtime winner and he was singing a weird song in Swedish that no one else seemed to understand, but he was happy so no one really cared.

 

No one asked about the FBI thing. There were several opponents and refs that came up to him to tell him that he had their “thoughts and prayers” Alex just thanked them. He didn’t really believe in any of that stuff, but they did, so the idea was nice. The thought behind it was nice.

Alex was proud of his on his control on the ice. Sure, he could chirp with the best of them and he would sometimes get in a fight to protect a teammate, but he never _really_ lost his cool. He was always aware that there was a crowd and camera’s and that there were probably kids watching at home. That’s why he was so grateful Kyle was near him during their game in Ottawa three days after the game against Toronto.

Ian O’Hare was a dick. Alex knew that. He’d known that since he’d first met the guy during Bruins training camp, it had been reaffirmed during the games they’d played against them so far this season. But this game, he seemed intent on winning the Asshole of the Year award, or getting his ass kicked. He’d already taken a slashing penalty by slapping Alex on the hands with his stick, and now he was about to go back into the box for tripping Alex. All in all he just seemed hellbent on making Alex’s night miserable.

They ended up in a scrum around the net, pretty much all players except the goalies seemed involved and it was going to be tricky figuring out who was going to get penalized for what. Alex ended up in a separated little cluster with Kyle and of course, O’Hare who slapped at Alex’s hands, like a toddler.

‘Are you seriously going to start this again?’ Alex asked O’Hare with a sigh. ‘Do I really need to remind you how things ended for you last time?’ It had been with his ass on the ice and a bunch of stitches in his eyebrow.

‘Why don’t we just burry the battle axe.’ O’Hare said, faux placating. ‘After all, that’s how your people do it right?’ Alex stilled.

‘My _people_?’ He asked, next to him Kyle had sort of frozen in place. ‘What the _fuck_ is that supposed to mean?’

‘Indians. _Native American’s_.’ O’Hare said, the disdain in his voice was making Alex’s blood boil. ‘I did some Googling, I knew you weren’t just tan.’

‘Oh, so that’s the problem? I’m not white enough for you?’ Alex wanted to wring his neck. He wasn’t proud of a lot of things about his family, but his skin? He was fucking proud of that, especially with all the revelations about his mom recently. ‘How about you come over here, and I’ll make sure you’re not white anymore either? It’s cause I’m going to beat you black and fucking blue.’ Alex sneered, trying to launch himself at O’Hare. The only thing that stopped him, was Kyle’s arm wrapping itself around Alex’s middle with a death grip. They wobbled on their skates. The arm wrapped tightly around him was going to bruise, but in the moment he couldn’t have cared less of a flying fuck.

‘I think that’s racist.’ O’Hare had the balls to say. Alex made a noise he barely recognized as coming out of his own mouth, a sort of growl that sounded like pure fury. He made another attempt at getting his hands around O’Hare’s throat.

‘Okay, you need to shut your fucking mouth.’ Kyle snapped, tone colder than Alex had ever heard it. There was none of the usual mirth left in it. Alex was still struggling to get at him, two refs had now joined them, one was attempting to help Kyle and Max (when did he get there?) keep control of Alex while the second ref had a firm grip on O’Hare.

‘I heard that.’ Ref Tim said. Alex had stopped struggling but he was still leant forward, eyes fixed on O’Hare. He felt hot, like his blood was boiling. He could barely think straight.

‘Heard what?’ O’Hare said innocently.

‘Kid, you better drop the act.’ Ref Tim said sternly. ‘We all know what’s going on with Manes’ mother and you have the balls to throw around these racist comments? There’s no place for that in the NHL and I will be reporting you to the league. The only reason I’m not kicking you out is because I can’t, but I hope you have a comfortable couch, because you’re going to be spending some time on it.’ Suspension. Ref Tim wanted to get him suspended. Alex wanted to kill him.

A different face than O’Hare’s sour one appeared in his vision. The kind face of Ref Green.

‘Kid, I need you to breathe.’

‘I want to rip him to shreds.’ Alex barely recognized his own voice, Kyle’s arm tightened around him. ‘Let go of me.’

‘I can’t do that Alex. Green is right, you need to breathe.’ The stuttering sound Alex heard was his own breathing, he realized.

‘Well then, let go of me, because you’re going to break my ribs.’ Kyle’s grip loosened and he changed his hold on Alex to a firm grip on his jersey sleeve.

‘Breathe.’

Alex tried. He really did. Slow breaths, in and out, in and out. He registered vaguely that O’Hare was arguing with Ref Tim, and that he was being dragged away towards the Ottawa bench.

‘Tell me about the ice rink you and Michael are going to Tuesday.’ Kyle said, drawing Alex’s attention away from O’Hare.

‘It’s downtown, I want to get him on the ice. I know he misses it, hockey, and I figured this was maybe a nice thing to do. He seems excited about it.’ Alex said, he knew Kyle was trying to distract him, he also knew his sentence was a bit of a random mess of words, but he couldn’t be bothered to think it through.

‘Good, that’s good.’ Kyle said, tugging at Alex’s sleeve until he looked at him. Kyle looked concerned, angry and like he was trying not to show either of those emotions.  

‘Yeah, that’s good.’ Alex affirmed, he knew his breathing had calmed down. He still felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin, like he was a spark away from blowing up, but at least he was breathing again.

‘Alright, you good?’ Ref Green asked, Alex nodded. ‘Okay, let’s get back to the game.’ He had no idea how long this whole incident had taken, but the crowd seemed restless and the other refs seemed to still be trying to figure out the penalties.

‘One problem. I’ve lost my gloves.’ Kyle said with a face that screamed _oops_. Any other time, Alex would have laughed, but not this time.

‘Well then go find them Valenti.’ Alex said blankly.

He wasn’t sure how, but he didn’t actually punch someone, or strangle anyone, or dislodge the goal to throw it at someone’s head. He spend the rest of the game playing with a clenched jaw and tension in his shoulders he just couldn’t seem to get rid of. Kyle hovered around him with that pinched expression on his face, Max kept glancing in his direction and Alex hated it. He hated it all. In that moment he hated hockey. He hated being there with eyes and camera’s on him. He hated being in the wrong country, he wanted to be in Boston. He wanted to find a punching bag and just scream. He wanted to curl up in a blanket and cry. He wanted Michael.

He wanted Michael and his soft eyes and his golden hair and his warm smile and his big hands and his kind nature. He wanted Michael and his protective fury. He wanted to wrap himself around him and not let go. He wanted to run with him. Just go. Fuck it all. Fuck his family, fuck the NHL, fuck North America. They should just go to Madrid, or Paris, or Amsterdam.

They lost the game, because it was that kind of night. When the team was changing, a league representative called the Bruins to tell them Alex needed to give a statement about what happened with O’Hare. Maria took one look at Alex’ face and asked if Kyle was allowed to give it instead, since he’d been right there. The league person tried to tell Maria no, it was futile. She refused to let any press speak to Alex. Instead she directed them all to Kyle and shuffled Alex into an empty office.

He didn’t get it, but Maria never did things without a good reason so he sat on the desk (because he could) and waited, staring at the wall. When the door opened, and a familiar head of curls ducked into the room, Alex could have cried. He reached out to him.

‘Hey, you okay?’ Michael asked, walking right into Alex’s arms, Michael wrapped his arms around Alex’s shoulders resting one hand on his head. Alex buried his head in Michael’s neck.

‘No.’

‘Alright.’ Alex held on to Michael’s middle tightly. His black vest with Bruins logo was soft against Alex’s skin. They stood there for a while, not saying anything, just breathing. Alex relished in being able to just have Michael close to him.

‘Should we just go?’ Alex asked softly, speaking more into Michael’s skin than anything else.

‘Go where?’ Michael asked.

‘Away.’

‘That’s very vague.’

‘I’m so tired of all of this.’ Alex said. ‘My family, this whole FBI mess, why can’t I just be a normal hockey player who’s biggest issue is deciding whether or not I should get the next awfully generic tattoo?’ Michael laughed softly.

‘That is not nice Alex. I’m sure they put a lot of thought into their tattoo’s.’ Alex seriously doubted it. Michael smiled sadly at him. ‘And I know things feel like shit right now, but don’t forget you actually have people behind you now. You’re not alone.’ Alex knew that, logically, but it didn’t seem to matter much if shit like that game was going to happen. On the ice, he’d felt pretty alone. ‘The Bruins have your back, my family has your back, Liz and Maria are ready to jump unto the barricade’s for you, Kyle would absolutely murder someone for you-‘

‘You called him Kyle.’

‘Well, that’s his name isn’t it?’ Alex rolled his eyes, even though Michael couldn’t see that.

‘I knew you secretly liked him.’ Alex said, pulling back just enough that he could look Michael in the eyes. He rested his hands on Michael’s hips, Michael’s hands slid down to rest on his thighs. Michael rolled his eyes.

‘He’s an idiot, but he’s not as bad as I thought he was.’ Michael admitted. That made Alex smile, for the first fucking time since that stupid game had started.

He felt like his body was finally returning to it’s normal temperature. Like his heart was settling in its proper place in his chest.

‘He looks after you when I can’t, that makes him a good guy in my book.’ Michael said, brushing his fingers through Alex’s hair, he had no doubt it was a mess.

‘Yeah, sometimes he’s a little much, but he’s a good guy.’ Alex agreed.

‘Are we still going to the rink Tuesday?’ Michael asked, hopeful look on his face.

‘Of course, we made that deal, didn’t we?’

‘Yeah we did, but if it’s too much right now, we can put it off.’ Alex tilted his head.

‘Nope. We’ve waited for this first date for too long already.’ Alex patted Michael on his chest, right over his heart. ‘We’re going on that date.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are, Michael and Alex are finally going on their first real date! It only took them months!  
> Also I really wanted to let Alex sucker punch O'Hare, but I also didn't want to let him sucker punch him, ya know. Next time. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	16. The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Alex finally go on their first date, and they reunite with a tiny Bruins fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll told me to give Alex a break, so Alex gets a break. This is probably the most fluffy thing I have ever written, so there you go. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your continued support!

Watching Alex lose his mind on the ice, and not being able to help him fucking sucked. When he heard what O’Hare had actually said, Michael wanted to get back on the ice and get a spot on an NHL team, just so he could break the guy’s face. The comment alone was enough to make him want to do that, but the comment in combination with what was happening around Alex’s mother… it still made Michael’s hands shake. It had made him furious to the point where he couldn’t think straight. The one game suspension seemed barely adequate, but at least the NHL had done _something._

When he’d seen Alex, sitting on that desk in a random office in Ottawa, and he’d asked if they couldn’t just leave, Michael’s brain had screamed _yes_. He didn’t say it out loud though, because he also knew there were people here in Boston they didn’t want to leave behind, he knew Alex wanted this, wanted to play, it was just a really shit period for him. And of course, he’d met the biggest piece of absolute human garbage in the universe.

None of that mattered right now though, because they were heading out on their first date. Their first real date, even though they were already looking into a new apartment for the two of them, and they’d been living together for months now. Well, they never claimed to be traditional.

‘Ready?’ Alex asked, he was all wrapped up. Thick coat, scarf, gloves and Marge’s knitted Bruins hat. His eyes were wide and sparkling. He looked adorable.

‘Yeah.’ Michael said, he knew he looked similar to Alex, it had been snowing for the last few days and today wasn’t any different. It was fucking freezing outside. They probably should have just stayed in, cuddled up under a blanket, but they’d made the deal to go on this date, and neither of them wanted to put it off and wait for another day they could both get off work.

‘Let’s go.’ Alex looked so damn excited and when he smiled like he was smiling now, he really was like sunshine personified. Michael didn’t feel any of the cold, Alex being near him made him feel warm.

They headed in the direction of the ice rink, they decided to walk and enjoy the beauty of Boston in the snow. They were dressed for the weather this time, so why wouldn’t they? The urge to hold Alex’s hand was very strong, but with all the goals he’d been scoring since he’d been called up, more and more people were starting to recognize him and also, with all the layers and the gloves, it just wasn’t very practical. Didn’t mean that Michael’s heart didn’t speed up whenever their hands brushed.

‘So, did the realtor lady message with anything yet?’ Michael asked as they headed down a new street. It was still daylight out, even though the sun was almost disappearing, and the watery sun reflected beautifully off the snow.  

‘No, not yet.’ Alex said, they’d contacted the realtor that had lead Max to his house. She had found properties for many Boston athletes apparently and she was now looking at one for Alex (and Michael, but she didn’t know that part). ‘She told me I’d have her list by the end of the day, so I expect it’ll be there when we get back.’

‘Awesome, I love the apartment, but I really like the idea of a new one that is _ours_.’ Michael said, smiling at Alex widely.

‘You like the idea of _anything_ ours.’ Alex laughed. ‘The other day you got excited over mugs, Michael, _mugs_ , because we bought them together and they were ours.’ Michael shrugged, they’d been damn cute mugs.

‘You almost cried when I made you that chicken parm the other day.’ Michael said with a smirk.

‘It was damn good.’ Alex pointed at him, nodding his head vigorously.

‘Yeah it was.’

‘Okay so maybe we’re both sappy idiots, I like us that way.’ Alex smiled at him as they walked into the park.

When they arrived at the rink, the sun was starting to disappear behind the buildings, the rink was in a wonderful spot. It was surrounded by trees decked out with Christmas lights, the lanterns of the park cast the ice in a beautiful blue hue. It looked like a scene straight from a cheesy Christmas movie. Michael loved cheesy Christmas movies.

‘Let’s go.’ Alex grinned, heading for the skate rental place. They could have brought their own skates, Michael could have borrowed a proper pair from the Bruins, but they’d decided they wanted the full experience, however horrible it was going to be. It was absolutely a decision they’d regret.

‘You do realize I haven’t skated in about three years, right?’ He’d been sixteen the last time he’d been on the ice. After his hand, he’d never found the courage to get back out there. He was afraid it would hurt too much, but with Alex there like this, he was willing to take the risk. It was weird how Alex made him want to do that.

‘You don’t unlearn how to skate.’ Alex waved him off as he reached the guy behind the counter.

‘Let’s hope so, because breaking an arm would fucking suck.’ Michael said, scrunching up his nose. Alex just laughed.

‘Hi, we’d like two pairs please.’ The guy turned around from where he’d been digging through a massive pile of helmets.

‘Nice hat.’ The guy commented, nodding at the hat Marge had knitted for him. ‘Size?’ He then just sort of paused, tilted his head and frowned at Alex. ‘Wait, hold on, are you?’ Alex raised his eyebrows in question.

‘He’s Alex Manes, yeah.’ Michael filled in. Alex gave him a _look_. ‘What?’

‘Dude, it’s so nice to meet you. You’ve been so awesome for the B’s.’ The guy said, reaching over the counter to shake Alex’s hand enthusiastically. Alex absolutely blushed, but he was doing a good job of hiding it under his scarf.

‘Thanks.’ Alex said. They both got handed a pair of skates, Michael paid the man and when they put them on, sitting down on one of the benches Alex groaned.

‘Regretting your decision not to bring your own skates yet?’ Michael grinned.

‘Yep. Regretting that very much.’ Alex said, Michael had to admit, the skates were particularly horrible. Still, when they’d wrangled the monstrosities onto their feet and they headed out onto the pond, it didn’t matter that much anymore.

He’d missed this.

Alex was right, his feet didn’t miss a beat as he stepped onto the ice for the first time in three years. After a few unsteady pushes forward, he re-found the movement and started a lap down the ice with an ease he hadn’t quite seen coming. Alex, of course, kept up with him easily. There were some unsteady moments, the ice on the pond was absolutely not as smooth and flawless as the ice at the Garden. It was bumpy and skated to hell, it even caused Alex to have a teeny tiny little wobble at one point. It made Michael unreasonably happy. They spend at least fifteen minutes like that, skating around, Alex switching effortlessly between forwards and backwards, just grinning at each other. Alex was a show-off. He did literal pirouettes around Michael, who rolled his eyes and pretended to be annoyed. He would brush closely past Michael, trying to get him off balance.

‘Manes Man!’ A tiny sounding voice interrupted their tenth lap. Michael searched around and found-

‘Katie.’ He said, recognizing the little girl. She was wearing two braids in her hair today, carrying a child sized hockey stick that seemed to be held together by duct tape and pure willpower and over a thick sweater, a Bruins jersey that came down to her bony knees. She was on skates, and so was her sister, who smiled at him carefully.

‘Manes man?’ Alex asked with a confused frown, coming to an elegant stop next to him. Katie’s eyes widened.

‘Oh my god, Kim!’ She yanked on her sister’s sleeve so hard she nearly fell over. ‘It’s Alex Manes.’ She whisper-yelled.

‘Yes I can see that.’ Kim agreed. Michael watched as Alex put the pieces together, realizing the jersey she was wearing was his, and he signed it.

‘You must be Katie.’ He said with a smile and Katie’s eyes widened even further. She nodded so hard she nearly fell over.

‘Yes, hi!’ She scribbled forward on her skates to shake Alex’s hand with a very awestruck expression.

‘And you must be her sister.’ Alex turned to the older one.

‘Yes, Kim, hi.’ She seemed almost as impressed as her sister. ‘We gave her the Christmas present early.’ She waved her hand at her sister. ‘Thank you for your help with that.’

‘No problem.’ Alex went down on one knee to put himself at eyelevel with Katie. ‘Are you any good with that stick?’ She glanced down at it, as if she only just remembered she was holding it. She scrunched up her nose.

‘Not really, it keeps breaking.’ She said.

‘Hm.’ Alex said thoughtfully. ‘Well then it’s the material that’s the problem, not your play.’ Katie seemed to consider that for a second and then beamed at Alex.

‘You’re right! Thanks!’ She grinned. ‘Can I give you a hug?’

‘Of course! I love hugs.’ Michael may or may not have swooned a little when Katie threw her arms around Alex. She looked up at Michael while she still had her arms around Alex. She pulled a very serious face when they let go of each other.

‘Can I ask you something?’ She asked Alex.

‘Sure.’ Alex said, smiling gently at her. Katie leant forward, lowering her voice.

‘Is Manes Man your boyfriend?’ If Alex was shocked at her question, he hid it well. Michael felt a little off-kilter, were they that obvious? Alex glanced over his shoulder at Michael.

‘Who? That guy?’ He asked her and she nodded. ‘Yeah, he is.’

‘Good, I like him.’ Katie nodded in approval. Michael let out a short laugh. Kim was looking at them with an expression filled with happiness for her sister.

‘So do I.’ Alex said. ‘So, do you want to go skate a lap?’ He asked her. She answered before he could even fully finish his sentence.

‘Yes.’

‘Alright let’s go.’ Alex pushed himself back onto his feet. ‘We’ll be right back.’ He smiled at Michael who nodded.

‘Yeah, go make her month.’

‘More like “go make her _life_ ”.’ Kim said as the two of them headed off for a lap of the pond. Kim looked at him. ‘So, boyfriend?’

‘Yeah.’ Michael said, staring out over the rink where Alex was skating backwards, Katie’s hands in his. Her stick had been abandoned with Michael and Kim.

‘You two seem good together.’ Kim said and Michael wondered when she’d drawn that conclusion.

‘You think?’

‘Yeah, you look at him like he’s hung the stars in the sky or something equally ridiculous.’ She rolled her eyes in the way teenagers were so good at. Michael laughed.

‘A bit like Katie looks at him?’ He teased, the little girl had absolutely looked at Alex like he’d invented the universe.

‘Nah, the way you look at him isn’t quite as innocent.’ She said with a raised eyebrow. Michael bit his lip not to smile.

‘Alright, I’ll give you that.’ He agreed. Kim laughed.

‘He’s very good with kids.’ She was looking at him knowingly.

‘Yeah he is.’ She kept giving him that look. ‘What?’

‘You’ve totally thought about getting married and adopting a bunch of kids, haven’t you?’ She grinned at him. Well, that was a dangerous thought. A bunch of little brats, their own little brats, growing up with sticks in their hands and skates on their feet. Growing up with snowball fights and birthday parties and warm blankets.

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Michael said quickly as Alex came zooming back towards them, holding Katie so that she could fly across the ice with him.

‘O my god Kim! Kim! Kim!’ Katie went barrelling into her sister, almost knocking both of them over. ‘Did you see how _fast_ we were going?’ Kim laughed.

‘Yeah I saw.’

‘That was so _cool_!’ Michael was surprised she hadn’t vibrated out of her skates yet. ‘I’m going to be just as fast when I get bigger!’ She decided and Alex nodded.

‘Obviously.’

‘Alright, I’m glad you had fun, but we need to get home. Let’s let these two enjoy their date.’ She winked at Michael as she tugged at Katie’s jersey. Katie made a noise like she was dying.

‘But I don’t wanna.’ She whined. Michael pressed his lips together in an attempt not to smile, he was failing terribly.

‘Well we gotta.’ Kim imitated Katie’s tone perfectly, she’d clearly had practice. Katie attempted to stomp her foot, but she forgot she was on ice, so she nearly tumbled over. Three pairs of hands immediately shot towards her, trying to steady her.

‘Fine.’ She frowned as she was steady on her feet again. ‘But I’m only going under protest.’ Alex laughed.

‘Wow.’ Michael agreed, what a little smartass. He loved her. Kim rolled her eyes.

‘Whatever, brat.’ She looked at the two of them. ‘Thanks, both of you.’

‘No problem, see you around.’ Alex said with a smile and a wave at Katie, who interrupted her pouting to beam at Alex and Michael and wave.

‘Bye!’ She went straight back to scowling after that, it was kind of impressive. Michael was watching them leave, Katie swinging her stick around like a weapon, when he felt a cold hand wrap around his own. Somewhere along the line, they’d both ditched their gloves and Alex’s hands were cold as ever. He looked down at their intertwined fingers.

‘Is that okay?’ Alex asked, when Michael looked up he was biting his lip and looked nervous. Michael’s heart did that stupid stutter thing it seemed to do a lot around Alex.

‘Yeah.’ Michael said, trying to give off reassuring vibes. ‘Of course.’

‘I’m tired of hiding.’ Alex said, his grip on Michael’s hand tightened.

‘I’ve said it before, I wouldn’t care if you told the whole world.’ Michael stressed. He didn’t, he wanted to be with Alex in any way he’d let him. Kim had probably been joking, but marriage? Kids? It all didn’t seem that scary anymore, not as long as he could do those things with Alex.

Alex’s face did something that was almost impossible to describe. He blinked at Michael, eyes flickered down to his mouth, he took a deep breath, tugging Michael a little closer. He was looking at him in a way that made Michael’s mouth feel dry and his heart flutter in his chest. Like this was it. Some sort of monumental shift in what they understood of the universe, of what they understood of life, or something equally dramatic. Like their nineteen years on this stupid planet had lead to this one specific moment. On an ice rink in Boston, surrounded by snow and with freezing hands.

‘You mean that?’ Alex asked, he was whispering now. They were close enough that Michael could hear him just fine. Michael could barely form a coherent thought when Alex was this close to him, but he managed to nod.

‘Yeah. I’ll take whatever you give me.’ That was about the moment Alex kissed him. In public.

It wasn’t even that long of a kiss, it wasn’t even heated or hungry. But it was there. They’d done that. Michael was pretty sure he could have sprouted wings in that moment. Alex pressed his lips together and did a wonderfully awkward nod.

‘So, that’s a thing we’ve done now.’ Michael just hummed. There were a few more beats of silence in which they both tried not to grin like lunatics. ‘The world didn’t implode.’

‘That’s good.’ Michael nodded.

‘Neither of us burst into flames.’

‘Also good.’

‘Home?’ Alex asked, and it was the best idea Michael had ever heard. He nodded.

They brought back their skates to the guy, found their gloves, and headed home. Alex took his hand as they left the park, and didn’t let go. Not when people passed by them on the street. Not when one man in particular looked at them just a little too long. Not when they made their way into the building. Alex shivered as they stepped into the warm apartment.

‘I’m telling the team tomorrow.’ Alex said firmly, finally letting go of Michael’s hand to take off his coat, scarf and hat.

‘Okay.’ Michael agreed easily as he took off his layers as well. He wasn’t particularly worried about Alex’s teammates. He knew Kyle would help him hide the body of anyone who _looked_ at Alex wrong. But for Alex this was obviously a big deal. This was the deciding moment. The Bruins could say they would support him all they wanted, but if the team decided to exclude him, if they decided they didn’t want him around, it could make his life a living hell.

‘I could just tell them I’m gay, I don’t need to mention you if you don’t want me to.’ Alex said, rubbing his hands together, Michael went to make tea, he already knew where those cold hands were going to end up, so he’d do his absolute best to warm them up.

‘How many times do I have to tell you?’ Michael said as he set the kettle to boil them water. ‘I don’t care who you tell. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.’

‘Unless we get a new apartment right?’ Alex asked, as he hung their stuff away.

‘Well obviously.’ Michael rolled his eyes and Alex laughed.

‘Good, otherwise I’d get lonely.’

‘Oh so that’s it, I’m kind of like a cat to you.’ Michael made a hurt face and turned away from Alex.

‘You can be as big of a brat as a cat.’  Michael gasped, he could feel Alex coming up behind him. Michael danced out of Alex’s reach.

‘Nah, nah, nah. You and those cold, wriggly fingers of yours aren’t getting anywhere near me, not until you’ve held a warm mug of tea for, like, fifteen minutes.’ Michael waved his fingers at Alex in warning. Alex pouted.

‘But honey, babe, light of my life, _please_.’ Alex crept closer. ‘You’re just so _warm_ and cuddly.’ His grin wasn’t fooling anyone and Michael moved backwards as Alex kept coming at him.

‘No.’ Michael warned.

‘Yes.’ Alex nodded and kept coming closer as Michael moved from the kitchen into the living room, he was debating whether running was a good idea.  Alex grinned before sprinting at Michael with a short burst of speed. Michael yelped and bolted, he vaulted over the couch, but Alex was too quick. He caught Michael’s arm and they ended up on the couch in a tangle of (cold) limbs. Michael let out a burst of laughter as Alex’s fingers dug into his side.

‘Stop, please.’ Michael hiccupped.

‘Are you ticklish?’ Alex grinned as he hovered over Michael, the look on his face was devilish to say the least. Michael needed to distract him. So he did the best he could come up with, without any ulterior motives obviously, and he pulled Alex’ head down towards him and kissed him. He could feel Alex smile against his mouth as he let himself be distracted.

‘I know what you’re doing, you know.’ Alex mumbled against Michael’s mouth, softly biting at Michael’s bottom lip.

‘I would hope so.’ Michael answered breathlessly. He shivered as Alex leant down and brushed his lips past Michael’s throat. He could feel Alex’s smile as he kissed his way down Michael’s neck, softly scraping his teeth past his skin here and there. ‘Alex.’ Michael knew he sounded kind of wrecked, as he dug his hands into Alex’s hair, he didn’t really care. ‘The tea.’

‘Fuck the tea.’ Alex murmured against his skin as he pulled aside Michael’s vest so that he could reach his collarbone.

‘Yep, okay yes, absolutely, fuck the tea. Screw the tea. Screw the English while we’re at it-‘

‘Michael?’ Alex said, why did he not sound like he was dying? It was unfair.

‘Yep?’ He said breathlessly as Alex looked up at him through his lashes. That was unfair too.

‘Stop talking.’

‘Okay. Yes. No more talking. Bed. A bed is good, right?’ Alex didn’t answer, he just grabbed Michael’s hand and dragged him off the couch and towards their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katie is my favourite okay. She is the purest of all the little beans.  
> We're actually heading towards the point where I'm going to start wrapping things up, which means shit has to go down. So this fluffy chapter was probably exactly what we needed before we get into that...
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight.


	17. You are the opera, always on time and in tune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex meant what he said last time, Michael just loves breakfast and Maria wants to commit vehicular manslaughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I've actually planned out the rest of the story and there's three chapters left including this one? I am just...shocked? That this is a thing I'm doing. I know where I'm going, I have a plan. Like what?
> 
> Anyways, this chapter, once it started flowing, I couldn't stop writing.  
> I love Kyle.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the love and thank you specifically to Bella818 for commenting that Pinterest link to the pic of Tyler on skates, it made me so damn happy!

When he woke up that day, he felt calm. Their day off had been awesome, they had laughed, had fun, he’d gotten Michael back on the ice and he’d basically decided to say fuck it. This thing with Michael wasn’t going anywhere, and he didn’t want it to. It had been so wonderful to be able to walk down the street holding Michael’s hand, because he wanted to. And that feeling of power, of _freedom_ was both intoxicating and scary as fuck.

When he’d told Michael the day before that he was going to tell the team, he had every intention to go through with it. He was done hiding, done lying. The biggest reason he’d ever kept it a secret in the first place, was because he was scared of what his father would do if he found out Alex told anyone about his “sickness”. But his dad was being watched by the FBI, they would warn him if his dad tried to come for him. He also had friends now, people that cared about him. People that knew his secrets and still wanted to be around him, that wanted to protect him.

‘Morning.’ Michael wondered into the living room, looking rumpled and still half asleep.

‘Morning.’ Alex made a face at him. Alex was already completely ready for the day, he was showered, dressed and he’d even made some sort of effort with his hair, even though it would all be ruined by his helmet anyways. He was in the kitchen, making Michael’s favourite, blueberry pancakes.

‘Why can’t players take care of their own gear again?’ Michael asked as he flopped himself down on a chair at their tiny table. He set his elbows on the surface and ran his hands through his curls. It did nothing to tame them whatsoever.  

‘Because we are basically helpless children.’ Alex shrugged. ‘We can barely get our gear _on,_ on our own and now you want us to take care of it too? Kyle already loses his gloves at least twice before and during a game. Can you imagine the disaster if we tried to get him to bring his own gear on a gameday?’ Michael flinched.

‘Okay, that’s a good point. It would be a disaster.’

‘Exactly.’ Alex said, pointing at Michael with the spatula. Suddenly, Michael perked up.

‘Wait. Are those pancakes?’ He asked, scrambling off the chair. Alex laughed.

‘Yeah, blueberry.’

‘O my god.’ He hooked his chin over Alex’s shoulder. ‘I love you.’

‘You know, you only seem to tell me that when I cook you food.’ Alex teased, using the spatula to turn the pancake over. He could do the throwing flip thing, but that seemed like a hazard with Michael so close. Michael spluttered.

‘What? No, put that thing down.’ He softly removed Alex’s hands from the pan and spatula and he turned him around. They ended up face to face. ‘I tell you I love you all the time.’ He said seriously. Alex looked at him like he didn’t quite understand. ‘I may not use the exact words.’ Alex thought about that for a second.

Maybe Michael was right. Maybe they both had been saying it for a while. Maybe they hadn’t said it with those exact words, but they _had_ been saying it. Maybe they had been since their conversation about their childhoods. It was in the “I’m not going anywhere” in “I’m tired of hiding” and “I’ll take whatever you’ll give me”. Maybe they hadn’t needed the exact words to _show_ that they loved each other. Alex hadn’t walked away.

‘I think you’re right.’ He finally agreed. He turned away more out of necessity than anything else. He didn’t want that pancake to burn. He turned off the heat and put it on the pile with the others. ‘Still, I’m gonna say it back.’ He turned back to Michael after ditching the pan in the sink. He made sure to look him dead in the eye. ‘I love you, Michael.’ Saying it out loud like that, with intent, made him feel all warm, and Alex was never warm. Michael took two deep breaths, it almost sounded like he was letting something settle into his bones.

Their moment was broken by Michael’s stomach growling loudly. Alex laughed, letting his head fall back.

‘That was peak comedic timing.’ He said as he grabbed the plate and headed to the couch. ‘Can you grab some cutlery?’

‘Goddammit belly, we were having a moment.’ Michael grumbled at his stomach as he grabbed some knifes and forks.

Michael hummed and grinned his way through breakfast. It was almost ridiculous how much Michael could enjoy some simple pancakes.

‘Have you thought more about the college thing?’ Alex asked as they were getting ready to head to the Garden. Michael had finally gotten dressed, but he still looked a little more rumpled then he normally did. They were headed down to the truck (at this point it really was too cold to walk, the biting wind was not fun).

‘Yeah, I actually think it might be a good idea.’ Michael said as he unlocked the truck. ‘The only problem is that I don’t really know how I’m supposed to pay for it.’ Alex looked at him as Michael started the truck.

‘You’re fucking smart Guerin, I’m sure there’s some kind of scholarship you can get.’ Alex said. Michael was quiet for a bit as he started the drive to TD Garden.

‘Maybe.’ Alex wanted to roll his eyes, but didn’t. Michael never seemed to believe in himself as much as Alex believed he should.

‘What were you thinking of studying?’ Alex asked.

‘Well, I’ve been thinking about sports science. I’m pretty sure I can do that at BU.’ Michael kept his eyes firmly on the road, but Alex could see a spark of enthusiasm in him.

‘Well, if you want to do that, maybe the Bruins will help you out.’ Alex said, Michael frowned.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, the analyst guys, that do our training schedules and stuff, the ones that decide when we should get a day off, how intense a training should be and such? I’m pretty sure they have some sort of sports science degree. They know about what movements stress what muscles and how that influences the acid build up and all that mumbo jumbo.’ Alex shrugged. ‘Maybe if you talk to mister Valenti, they’ll do that thing where they help you pay for your education, as long as you come to work for them after.’

‘Hm.’ Michael spend the rest of the way to the Garden mulling over that, it seemed.

Alex wasn’t nervous as they parked the truck and headed towards the locker room. Their morning skate was at the Garden that day, they didn’t want to have them all move back and forth so much through the shitty weather. Alex appreciated it.

‘Hey Alex, Michael.’ Kyle greeted them as they walked in. He was sitting on the bench, phone in hand, no one else was there yet.

‘Hey Kyle.’ Alex headed over to him, Michael just waved and went to go check in with Sanders. Alex plopped down next to him. ‘So, I’m planning on telling the team about me and Michael today.’ He decided to just put it out there. He wanted his friend to be aware of it.

‘Awesome.’ Kyle’s immediate response was a little surprising. He looked at Kyle with a confused frown. ‘What? I’m not that good at keeping secrets and this has been a big one. Do you know how many jokes about you two I’ve had to swallow? It has been such a waste of great material.’

‘Of course.’ Alex laughed softly. ‘It will make things easier _for you_.’ Kyle grinned at him.

‘No but seriously, I’ve got your back, you know that. Same goes for Evans. No one is going to react badly, but if they do, I’ll punch them.’

‘Okay let’s go easy on the violence.’ Alex tried, but Kyle didn’t seem like he was all that enthused by that idea.

‘I’ll think about it.’ Kyle said. ‘Any idea on when?’ Alex hadn’t really thought that far ahead.

‘Well, I think maybe just when everyone’s here? I don’t want to do this too close to the game?’ A tiny seed of dread sparked in Alex’s chest. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have chosen a game day. Maybe I should just put it off. Maybe this is a bad idea.’

‘No, no, no, hold on. Easy there.’ Kyle said, setting a firm hand on Alex’s shoulder. ‘This isn’t about the team. This is about you. This shouldn’t be a big deal to them. They love you when they don’t know, and this shouldn’t change anything. If they _can’t_ deal with it like grown ass men, fuck them.’ Alex forced himself to take a deep breath.

‘Right.’ He said. ‘Just keep breathing.’

‘Exactly. Breathing is important.’ Kyle said with a pat on his shoulder.

‘Who knew?’

Alex started world war three with his nerves as teammates started coming into the locker room. Kyle stuck to his side, even though his locker wasn’t technically next to Alex’s. Michael moved around the room as he usually did, but he kept glancing at Alex, like he was checking in on him. He fought the nerves until he could barely think of anything else than: Breathe, if they can’t deal with it, fuck them. It didn’t take all that long for one of them to notice.

‘You good Manes?’ Mattenson asked. ‘You look like you’ve barely slept.’ Most of his teammates didn’t look over at him, but he knew they were listening.

‘I went on a date yesterday.’ Alex stated. It seemed like a good place to start.

‘Oh really? It went well, I assume?’ Harvey asked with a grin, he’d been back for a few weeks now and despite the fact that Alex had taken his spot on the second line, they actually got along pretty well.

‘Yeah, we had fun.’ Alex said, fighting not to blush at the insinuation of _why_ he looked so tired.

‘Where did you take her?’ Noah asked, and there it was. The point where he was supposed to correct him.

‘I took _him_ to that ice rink in the park, the one on the pond.’

That settled a silence over the locker room. A silence that felt like it was wrapping it’s hands around Alex’s neck.

‘That place looks awesome after dark, right?’ Mattenson asked, Alex looked at him and the Swede was watching him with a level expression.

‘Yeah, they have Christmas lights in the trees all around.’ He said, ignoring how choked his voice sounded.

‘Good call for a first date.’ Harvey said, giving him the exact same grin he had before. ‘Maybe a bit of a dick move to take your date skating when you’re a professional hockey player, but hey, at least you could show off.’ The knot in his chest didn’t seem to be loosening yet, but he felt a little bit less like dying. No one had made any disgusted noises at him yet, no one had told him to get the fuck out yet.

‘To be fair, he only showed off a little.’ The guys that had started moving again, stopped as Michael spoke up. He was picking up a helmet from the floor, and didn’t acknowledge the second thick silence in less than a minute. He straightened up and handed the helmet to Jones who accepted it.

‘You were there? That’s a little stalkerish Guerin.’ Alex rolled his eyes.

‘He _was_ my date idiot.’ He made sure to smile just a little as he said it. Several players seemed to look back and forth between him and Alex a few times.

‘Ah, well that explains why he’s been in such a good mood recently, I wondered what happened to make him Mister Sunshine all of the sudden.’ Harvey shrugged, motioning at Michael, who flipped him off.

‘Fuck you, I was always happy.’

‘Uh, I don’t think you should say that in front of your boyfriend, I don’t think he’ll appreciate that.’ Mattenson said, like the smartass he was.

‘Yeah Guerin, I’m flattered, but I’m married.’ Harvey said with an apologetic face. Michael now raised both his middle fingers.

‘You two are like a bad comedy act.’ Michael said. Mattenson and Harvey laughed, and the tension in the room just sort of… evaporated. The others joined in the laughter, and just like that, it was done. The knot in Alex’s chest wasn’t quite gone yet, but it had significantly loosened and he didn’t feel like he was choking anymore. Next to him, Kyle relaxed and squeezed Alex’s shoulder.

‘I told you it would be fine.’

‘I don’t remember you saying that at all.’

‘Eh, I’m sure I did.’

As the day progressed, Alex felt better and better. The team really just took the whole thing in stride. There were a few small slip ups, where guys didn’t quite know what they could and couldn’t say, but Kyle took the lead in that and he was the first to really embrace the whole thing and start making jokes about it, because of course he was. Coach figured out pretty quickly that Alex had told the team and he made a point of squeezing Alex’s shoulder and telling him he was proud of him. That made Alex blush, so he focussed on the assignment.

As they hung around, waiting for game time, there were a few questions teammates had. Which Alex answered with as much patience as he could muster. It could have been annoying, but it was also kind of nice. They were showing interest, not just ignoring it pretending it wasn’t there. By the time puck-drop rolled around, Alex felt stronger then he had in a long time.

The game was a good one for them. Everything seemed to click. They scored a total of six goals, three of which were Kyle’s, Alex had the primary assist on two of them. He felt more at ease on the ice and with his team. He really did feel free. Like there was nothing weighing him down anymore. That wasn’t entirely true of course. Especially when after the game he found a message from Chris on his phone.

_Chris Manes: James is coming to the US, I’m meeting him in Boston, want to join us?_

His immediate thought was _no,_ but that didn’t seem like the right answer. As much as he had no desire to talk to his brothers, he also knew the situation was different now. Their dad was being investigated by the FBI now. The last time he’d seen Chris, he’d actually been apologetic, still very much Chris, but apologetic. The last time he’d seen James, man, he could barely remember when that was.

_Sure, tell me when._

He answered with a sigh. It was just another effort to get people in his corner.

‘Alex?’ Maria pulled him from his family induced trace.

‘Yes?’ She had a little gaggle of reporters behind her. ‘Oh, that.’ She smiled at him and nodded.

‘Yeah, that.’ She stepped aside and let the reporters circle him, like they always did. She stuck close though, she had been doing that since they released that statement about his father. Maybe that was why no one had asked, the treat of Maria looming in the shadows was enough. Alex threw his phone in his bag. He straightened up and looked at the little group of reporters expectantly. He was a little annoyed to find that Wyatt Long of ESPN was in his group.

‘Alex, a great game for the team and a great game for your line, what is it that has allowed you guys to be so effective?’ A guy on his left asked.

‘Well, we’ve had good chemistry as a team since the first week, I think. But recently we’ve really been clicking and we’re trusting each other more and more, and the more we trust each other off the ice, the more we’ll start to trust each other _on_ the ice.’ Alex hated these kinds of questions. If there was some secret ingredient or handshake or something that allowed them to telepathically communicate with each other, he wasn’t going to tell them. And seeing as there was no explanation for it other than chemistry, it just made him give the same generic, boring answer.

‘What about Kyle Valenti and his performance tonight?’

‘Kyle was amazing tonight. Sometimes you just have those games where everything you do seems to just go right, and Kyle had one of those.’ Alex said. ‘He’s been really good all season, and if he keeps going like this he’s going to break 100 points for the first time.’

‘You made some good plays on defence today, is that something you’ve focussed on a lot?’

‘Not specifically, I guess I’ve always been trained to play a two-way game. That started when I was a kid, I don’t pay any specific attention to it, I just always try to help out wherever I can. Whether that is on offence or defence.’ Alex shrugged.

‘But you are offensively minded first, right?’

‘Yeah, probably.’ Alex admitted.

‘So, your birthday is coming up in ten days, any plans? Dinner with the girlfriend?’ It was Wyatt fucking Long, because of-fucking-course. But that wasn’t really the part that pissed Alex off, Long said it like he knew something. Like the thought of Alex having a girlfriend was ridiculous and he knew he was right about that.

He could have backed out, made some vague comment about how he didn’t have plans yet, but he had felt so _good_ when everything with the team had settled and just fallen into place. When he didn’t have to lie anymore when he could just be him. But this was a giant step further then Alex had thought through.

‘No, me and my boyfriend don’t really have plans yet.’ For the third fucking time that day, the people around Alex just sort of stopped moving, breathing, talking. They all kind of just stared at him. Alex fought to keep his face casual, don’t show weakness. Never show weakness to predators.

‘Any other questions?’ Maria followed his lead it seemed, she simply moved on. Like it was no big deal.

‘You’re _gay_?’ Long asked, just a hint of malicious glee in his voice. Alex had no intent of playing his games. So he looked the guy dead in the eyes and said:

‘Yes, did you not get that from the whole “boyfriend” thing?’

‘Well you could be bisexual, right?’ Another reporter asked, he looked genuinely mildly confused. ‘That is when you like both, right?’ Alex tilted his head.

‘Hm, yeah, you’re right.’ He said, nodding at the other man. ‘I’m not bi though, I’m gay.’ And oh fuck, he’d just said that out loud.

‘Cool, does your boyfriend like hockey?’ Another reporter asked, and maybe it was Maria hovering near his shoulder looking ready to murder, or maybe they were genuinely not that bothered by the whole thing. He guessed he would see when the articles came out.

‘Yeah, he used to play himself actually.’ He could have used this as a bridge to mention he currently worked for the Bruins, but despite Michaels’s words of “I don’t care who you tell” he didn’t want to throw him to the wolves like this. He glanced at Maria, who took it as a signal.  

‘Alright, that’s it for today, thank you for coming.’ She didn’t sound particularly grateful at all, more like she’d dismember anyone who tried to argue with her, but those were just semantics. As the gaggle of reporters was moved away from him, Alex dropped himself on the bench with wide eyes.

He’d just done that. Everyone was going to know now. Not just his teammates, but also his opponents, refs, fans. Oh god.

‘Guerin!’ Maria snapped. ‘Drop whatever you’re doing and come make sure your boyfriend doesn’t start hyperventilating.’ He heard confused murmurs from Michael, apparently the rest of the locker room hadn’t caught his giant fucking life changing revelation. ‘He just came out, like, officially.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah “oh”. Now go.’ He was sure Maria shooed him towards Alex, but all Alex was seeing was out of focus. ‘I need to go release another statement.’

He knew Michael came to sit next to him. He could feel his presence, smell his weirdly spicy cologne, sense the warmth of his skin. Alex gravitated towards him automatically. He could feel an arm wrap around his shoulder.  

‘Are you okay?’ Michael asked softly. Alex appreciated that his team seemed to understand he needed a moment and weren’t crowding around him.

‘I don’t know.’ Alex admitted. ‘I feel kind of numb.’ He could feel Michael nod. He still wasn’t really seeing anything, he wasn’t crying (didn’t feel like it either), he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t relieved, he wasn’t even angry. He was just sort of… there.

They sat there for a while as Alex’s vision cleared and slowly the locker room got quieter and quieter. His team mates didn’t leave, but as they were done getting changed and packing up, all of them had started to sit down and wait in front of their lockers. They weren’t watching him, they weren’t talking to him, some were on their phone, others had their eyes closed, they were just _there_.

When Alex actually started to feel something again, he decided he should say something.

‘Thank you.’ He said into the silence. ‘I appreciate you guys sticking around.’ A heartfelt speech didn’t feel quite like the right thing to do, and it seemed like he was right.

‘No problem kid. We’ve got your back.’ Mattenson started, he got up, walked past Alex to squeeze his shoulder and then headed out of the door.

‘Yeah, anyone gives you issues, just give us the word.’ Harvey agreed, doing the same thing Mattenson did. All his other teammates followed suit, until it was just him, Michael, Kyle and Max.

‘This is probably going to suck for a bit. You’re going to be the new posterchild for diversity in the NHL and everyone is going to want something from you.’ Max said and Alex could see Michael frown from the corner of his eye. ‘Make sure you stick to who you are, and you’ll be just fine.’ Max said, squeezing both his and Michael’s shoulders before heading out of the door.

‘I’m not sure if that was nice or not.’ Michael stated.

‘It was.’ Michael looked at him, then his face softened.

‘Okay.’

‘Well, I would add something, but basically, all of the above, plus I’m really fucking proud of you.’ Kyle said with a sharp smile. ‘No one wants to be the first, but you just gave so many kids out there hope, and you don’t even realize it. You’re a fucking hero Alex Manes.’ Kyle said before heading out of the door.

Well, _now_ Alex felt like crying. Thanks Kyle.

‘Home?’ Michael suggested and Alex nodded so quickly it hurt his neck a little.

 

Over the next week, Alex learned that the internet was not his friend. Luckily, he’d never been one for social media, or reading articles about himself anyways. He wasn’t sure where he’d heard the quote “The truth will set you free, but first, it will piss you off.”, but it was his new mantra. He found himself seesawing between elated and furious for almost seven days straight. He’d get these wonderful messages of kids telling him that they thought they couldn’t be in the NHL because they weren’t white and straight and that he was the reason they weren’t giving up on their dreams. But then the next moment some piece of shit would take a run at him on the ice and whisper something degrading and nasty to him. Alex had gotten in three fights in four games. It wasn’t ideal, per se, but he refused to let others fight his fights for him. If he wanted these assholes to learn their lesson, _he_ had to be the one to teach it to them. Luckily he’d learned how to take a punch a long time ago.

Media was hell. Especially Long, who seemed to have made it his personal mission to piss Alex off to the point where he would actually try to choke him. Alex hadn’t cracked yet, remaining frustratingly polite. Maria on the other hand… she was ready to run him over with her car. She swore she could make it look like an accident. Alex had thanked her, but passed, he didn’t want her to go to prison, and he didn’t want to give in to the fucker’s games. He _wanted_ Alex to get angry, so he wouldn’t. He _wanted_ Alex to lash out, so he wouldn’t. He _wanted_ to get banned from the Bruins locker room, so they wouldn’t. It was all a giant game of chess and Alex was hell-bent on not losing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I love Kyle. 
> 
> So, I know I've said this before, but from here on out, shit's gonna get real. Get ready for some angst :D  
> I don't know why I put a smiley after that... Sorry. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	18. Can't slow down, I'm a rolling freight train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the birthday of hockey Jesus, we meet James Manes and the team are the loving and supporting brothers Alex never had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I'm doing this. After this one, there's just one more chapter and an epilogue :O
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support!

Alex Manes was a fucking hurricane. He was ruthless, not bowing to anything or anyone. He stood proud and tall and Michael was in awe. Max had been right, everyone suddenly wanted something from Alex. A quote, an appearance on their late night show, an interview, but they also wanted to call him everything horrible under the sun from the safety of the anonymity of the internet. It was a good thing Alex didn’t read any of it. Kyle, Michael, Liz and Maria had been acting like somewhat of a filter for Alex. They would send him the nice messages, the supportive ones, the inspiring ones. Alex wasn’t stupid, obviously, he knew what they were doing, he knew that there were plenty of people out there that weren’t as kind and warm towards him, hell he met a few of them on the ice. He’d _punched_ a few of them on the ice. Yeah, if the NHL had learned one thing over the last seven days, it was that Alex Manes would and could kick your ass if you weren’t capable of acting like a decent human being.

But there was also another side to Alex having to literally fight his opponents to get their respect back, because somehow him being gay meant he’d lost that? Michael thought it was bullshit. But when Alex had gotten in his third fight in four games and he was sitting in the locker room on his own, with a bag of ice on his hand, that attitude was not the one Alex needed.

‘You okay?’ Michael asked.

‘I just said that they needed to be taught a lesson.’ Alex said with a sort of horrified disgust in his voice. It took Michael a second to register what he was talking about.

‘Your dad would say that right?’ Michael asked, fuck that was awful.

‘Yeah. I just fought a guy because he needed to be taught a lesson.’ Alex looked like he was panicking. ‘I’m just like him.’ Michael rushed towards him, kneeling in front of him to make sure they were eye to eye.

‘No you’re not.’ Alex made a scoffing noise. ‘You’re _not_.’

‘How am I not like him? He’s in my DNA Michael.’ Michael grabbed Alex’s hand firmly.

‘Alex, you are not like him.’ Michael pressed. ‘He used “teaching you a lesson” as an excuse to try and change something about you that can’t be changed. On the ice, you don’t exactly have time or space to sit them down and have an adult conversation. Another point, they are grown ass men, you were a _kid_. Nothing about this situation says you’re like your father. You are brave as hell, you’re facing your demons.’

‘What if I do end up like him?’

‘I won’t let that happen.’ Michael promised.

 

It was a whirlwind. But the best part about it all, was that Alex just kept scoring. He kept getting points and he kept being a generally awesome hockey player. Alex moved across the ice like he was born to do so (he wasn’t, he’d been born in the desert for fuck’s sake). Michael would have sworn the game had to have been played at half speed for Alex, because he moved around the other players with a vision and an ease that he couldn’t explain. It was like a giant choreographed dance, with Alex at the centre of it. He’d looked radiant and _free_ in a way Michael had never seen him before, not even at training camp. He was a vision of grace and poise. So any argument anyone wanted to make about him not being fit for the NHL or not being good enough or tough enough, Alex threw them all out of the window, goal after goal, hit after hit.

Michael tried to protect him from the nasty stuff as much as he could. Him, Maria, Liz and Kyle had made it their life’s mission to be Alex’ internet filters. They ignored the nasty and the homophobic and made sure Alex saw the nice comments, the proud comments, the people telling him they felt inspired. Alex had dealt with enough negativity in his life, he didn’t need the internet’s bullshit on top of that.

Now, Michael’s biggest problem was coming up in three days, December 2nd. Alex’s 20th birthday. With everything going on, he hadn’t really been prepared for a birthday. Maria had approached him the day before with an idea Michael absolutely loved. She wanted, as the Bruins gift to him, make a video with as many kind and supportive messages as she could find. She’d been collecting video’s of teammates, opponents, coaches and most importantly, fans. Michael had made sure to tell her it was an awesome idea and to nudge her in the direction of contacting Kim and Katie, they still had their info from the jersey they send her and Michael was sure that Alex’s biggest fan wanted to be in his birthday video.

So that was great, but that didn’t solve Michael’s problem. The problem that he had no clue what to get Alex for his birthday. He’d asked him, but his reply had just been “nothing, I just want us to be happy” and the sentiment was nice and everything, but it didn’t help. So he’d gone to his siblings, and that had been a bad call. Isobel’s idea was to buy Alex a ring, because “let’s be real Michael you two are going to get married at some point”, and Max’s idea was “I don’t know, buy him a new stick” which was such a typically Max thing to say, Michael wasn’t even sure why he was surprised. So siblings: Useless. Next up were their friends Maria went all mushy and suggested roses, Liz grinned and suggested _handcuffs_ and Kyle? Well, he was the only one that wasn’t entirely useless.

‘I’m pretty sure he loves nature documentaries and such right? Can’t you do something with that?’ The idea came barrelling into Michael’s head like a freight train. Not overtly expensive (Alex wouldn’t appreciate that anyways), but something personal and _them_.

‘You’re a genius Valenti.’  

So, Michael asked if he could leave an hour or two early, and spend them searching for the thing he was looking for. It took some scouring, a lot of Googling and time, but he found it. He left the tiny store with three small packages tucked in his pocket and he finally felt ready for Alex’s birthday.

Of course, it couldn’t stay like that. The day before Alex’s birthday, he came home from their morning practice (Michael had the day off, still apartment hunting) looking a little annoyed.

‘What’s up?’ Michael asked, looking up from the laptop.

‘My brothers are coming into town for my birthday.’ Michael could immediately feel the annoyance flare up in his chest.

‘Which ones?’ He asked with a frown.

‘Chris and James.’ He had not liked Chris the first time they met, and he highly doubted it was going to change now. At least it wasn’t Flint.

‘How long have you not seen James?’ Michael asked, he had barely heard the name before.

‘He’s been overseas for a while, I haven’t seen him in at least a year.’ Alex said as he took off his coat and right, another Air Force brother. Fun.

‘Are they coming to the game?’ Michael asked. The B’s had a game on Alex’s birthday, and it was supposed to be a good one. A match up with Edmonton, who had a really strong team this year.

‘Yeah, unfortunately.’ Alex said as he dropped onto the couch.

‘You could tell them to fuck off, you know that right? You don’t owe them shit.’

‘I know, but with the whole mess with my dad, I want to…warm up the relations with my brothers.’ Alex sighed, running his hands through his hair. ‘Well, two of them, I’m not even going to try with Flint, he’s a lost cause.’

‘Hm, yeah, I think they’re all assholes, but you knew that already.’ Michael shrugged, turning back to the laptop.

‘Yeah and Kyle agrees with you.’ He could hear Alex roll his eyes. ‘Anything good in the apartment hunt?’

‘Yeah actually, there’s this place between both Warrior and the Garden, two bedrooms, nice bathroom, an actual normal sized table.’ Michael had been staring at this apartment for a while now and it really seemed to check all of their boxes. ‘It’s not giant, but a little bigger than this one. It seems nice.’ Alex got up and leant in to look over Michael’s shoulder. He hummed.

‘Looks nice, maybe we should tell the realtor lady we’d like to have a look at it?’ Alex asked. ‘I’m about ready to get out of here.’ Alex had been getting more and more restless in their apartment, he hadn’t been sleeping all that good and Michael understood why. As steady as he had been about his coming out, the treat of his dad still loomed over him, especially since the FBI hadn’t arrested him or anything.

‘Sounds good to me, we’ll have to see how we plan it with games and such. You want me to call today?’ Michael offered.

‘Yeah, if you would?’

‘Sure.’ Alex kissed his cheek.

‘Thanks.’

So Michael called the realtor lady, and they ended up setting up a visitation for two days after Alex’s birthday, they had a late game that day and they could visit the apartment in the morning. Michael checked out a few more apartments, but the first one that had drawn his attention really seemed like the one that fit what they wanted the most.

Alex seemed fairly calm about his brothers coming up. Michael knew Chris wasn’t the worst of his brothers, Alex had barely talked about James, but it seemed like they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. It did also feel like Alex had come to a point where he wasn’t going to let himself be stopped by his family anymore, at least, not his brothers.

The next day, they were going to Ortecho’s after the game for Alex’s birthday, so Michael made him his favourite chicken parm that day. Alex spend the whole dinner smiling and humming and Michael loved him so much it was a little ridiculous.

That night, Alex was restless again. He spend the night asleep, but turning (and elbowing Michael) and tossing (and kicking Michael). It sure as hell wasn’t their best night of sleep ever. It didn’t really matter, because the next day, Alex was officially a 20 year old hockey genius. A 20 year old hockey genius that looked like he’d stuck his fingers in a power outlet. Michael fought not to laugh and Alex pointed at him sternly.

‘Not a word, Guerin.’ Michael couldn’t help it, he laughed anyways. ‘It’s my birthday, you’re supposed to be nice to me.’ Alex whined.

Michael made it up to him by giving him lots of kisses and actually helping him with breakfast.

‘Do you want your present now? Or tonight?’ Michael asked as they settled at the table.

‘Maybe after dinner?’ Alex asked and Michael nodded.

‘Sure, your call.’

Alex went to get ready, and by that he meant attempting to tame his hair. Michael knew some of what was in store for Alex at the Garden so he made sure to drag Alex there extra early, despite his protests. When they arrived, the nearly full parking lot gave some of it away.

‘Is everyone here already?’ Alex frowned. ‘Did I forget a morning skate or something?’ Michael shrugged vaguely. Alex narrowed his eyes at him.

‘I don’t know.’ Michael said as they headed into the building. The security guards at the front desk all came around to hug Alex and congratulate him. All through the building, as they made their way to the locker room, people stopped them to congratulate Alex. By the time they made it to the locker room, Alex was blushing and he looked tired of human beings already. Luckily, he could spend the next few hours with people he actually liked.

‘ _Happy birthday!_ ’ The whole team yelled at once as they entered the locker room. Alex laughed in delight and was immediately surrounded by a herd of hockey players, all congratulating him at once. It was kind of adorable. Most of the guys were older then Alex by at least a few years and they really did treat him like a little brother, or you know, like you were _supposed_ to treat a little brother. With friendly teasing and an “if you hurt him I hurt you” attitude. Maria shooed all of them away so she could congratulate Alex himself.

‘Happy birthday Alex.’ She said warmly.

‘Thanks Maria.’ Alex’s cheeks were still a little red, but he looked more comfortable now then before. As everyone gave him a little more space, he noticed the video screen that had been placed in the locker room. He looked at it questioningly.

‘Sit down.’ Kyle said while dragging Alex to a bench right across from it. Alex rolled his eyes but went easily and let Kyle plant him on the bench.

‘Alright, quiet down everyone.’ Maria said in her Kindergarten Teacher Voice. ‘Alex, for your birthday, the Bruins really wanted to show you how much you mean to us, and the city.’ Without any further introduction, Max hit the lights and Maria hit play.

It was wonderfully done. They had a nice artful, aesthetically pleasing, opening with shots of the city and the Garden. Which lead into several clips of staff at the Bruins and his teammates saying nice things about him, which was concluded with a clip of Kyle.

‘ _I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Alex Manes, you’re a hero. Happy birthday!_ ’ It then seamlessly switched over into several clips of opponents (the ones that were not assholes) giving Alex more compliments and birthday wishes. But the best part had to be the clips of the fans. They seemed to have been filmed on several different locations in Boston, some were wearing Bruins gear, others seemed to simply be dressed in regular street clothes.

Alex had been okay up until that point, Michael had been watching him, but now he was starting to look emotional.

 _‘I am so proud to be rooting for a team that has you on it._ ’

‘ _You really are hockey Jesus man, just keep doing what you’re doing.’_

_‘I love watching you play every time you get on the ice. You’re a real joy to watch.’_

_‘My son recently told me he was gay and I wasn’t really sure how to feel about it because he wants to be in the NHL, but seeing you do what you do has given both me and him hope for the future.’_

_‘Hey Alex!’_ Alex laughed as little Katie appeared on screen, waving at the camera enthusiastically. ‘ _You’re the best ever and I think you’re awesome. You and Manes man are the best couple ever and if you wanted to adopt me I’d be super happy-‘_

 _‘Katie!’_ Kim cut in, horrified. There was laughter all throughout the locker room. ‘ _What she means to say is thank you. Thank you for helping Santa out getting her a Christmas present, thank you for skating with her even though you were on a date and thank you for being an all-around great guy._ ’

‘ _That’s not what you said to the man yesterday.’_ Katie cut in, making a face at her sister.

‘ _What did you say to the man yesterday?_ ’ A voice behind the camera asked.

‘ _I told him Alex could have an unhealthy love for a frying pan and I still wouldn’t care, because he’s a great man and-‘_

 _‘A fantastic hockey player.’_ Katie finished her sister’s sentence happily. The video ended on Katie’s gap-toothed smile. Players in the room actually started clapping and Alex looked torn between being mortified at all the attention being focussed on him and getting so many compliments in the span of a few minutes, and happy.

‘That was so nice, thank you all.’ Alex managed. ‘Now can everyone please stop looking at me and just get on with our day normally. I can’t handle this.’

The players did as he asked, and Michael started his regular work. His day was going great, until Kyle ducked his head into the equipment room, where Michael was looking for a back-up stick for Harvey.

‘Dude, Alex’s brothers are here, want to come meet them?’ Kyle didn’t really say it like he meant “meet” them, more like guard Alex from whatever assholey thing they were going to end up doing.

‘Five seconds.’ Michael said as he grabbed the right stick from the rack and made sure to put it in the proper spot. After that he quickly followed Kyle.

Michael recognized Chris easily, he still had the face that made Michael’s initial reaction be _punch_. He’d figured out why that was the case, he looked like Alex’s dad. The other one looked the most like Alex, he was built, but not as wanna-be bodybuilder fit as Flint, more like “hey I need these muscles to be good at my job” fit. Tanned skin and brown hair, but he had nothing on the pure beauty of Alex, obviously.

‘Ah, look who’s here.’ Chris said with a sigh as he noticed Michael’s approach. Michael flipped him off.

‘Shut up Chris.’ Alex sounded tired already, these assholes had only been here for a minute or two and Alex already sounded tired. ‘James, these are Michael Guerin and Kyle Valenti. Guys this is my other brother James Manes.’

‘Hi.’ James said with an annoying amount of attitude for one word. Michael did not like him either.

‘Hi.’ Michael said as bitchy as he could manage. Alex sighed.

‘So, has either of you ever been to a hockey game before?’ It seemed like Kyle was at least willing to make an effort.

‘Nah, it’s never really been my thing.’ James said.

‘Not even for your little brother?’ Kyle said in a tone that made it clear he found that ridiculous.

‘Nah.’ Oh man, Michael _really_ disliked James.

‘Why the fuck are they here again?’ Michael asked Alex, he looked stoic, like he was unwilling to buy into his brother’s games. He supposed Alex had had a lot of practice with people trying to piss him off.

‘Because it’s our little brother’s birthday, we couldn’t miss that, now could we.’ James said with the most infuriating condescending tone.

‘Like you cared before.’ Kyle said with a glare. ‘He may be your brother by blood but you sure as hell have never treated him like a brother.’

‘Alex invited us, so how about you keep your judgements to yourself.’ James said, still that same stupid tone to his voice.

‘How about I let you pick the hand I beat the fuck out of you with?’ Kyle said with a cold smile.

‘Okay.’ Alex set his hand against Kyle’s chest to make him take a step back. ‘Can you two stop trying to fight my highly trained US Air Force operative brothers? No sense of self preservation. Either of you.’ Alex said, pointing sternly at Michael and Kyle. ‘And you two,’ he pointed at his brothers. ‘go, eat a hot dog or something. I have a game to get ready for.’

‘Alright, King Midas, we’ll go.’ James said, raising his hands in mock-surrender. When the brothers had removed themselves from the locker room, Michael looked at Alex with a frown.

‘King Midas? What is that all about?’ Alex sighed.

‘It’s a Greek myth, there was this King who got to make a wish and his wish was to have everything he touched turn to gold. But he figured out pretty quickly that it was more of a curse than a gift. His food and drink all turned to gold, in some versions he even turned his daughter into gold. It’s supposed to symbolize how you shouldn’t always want more if you already have a good life. Dad used to tell that story to us when we were young.’ Alex explained.

‘What a fucking manipulative thing for him to do.’ Kyle said with a frown.

‘Wait, is that what Flint meant with the whole “who can you trust when everything you touch turns to gold”?’ Michael asked. That particular comment by Alex’s brother had been stuck in his head for a while. Something about it had bothered him, but this was just fucked up.

‘Probably.’ Alex shrugged, he didn’t seem all that bothered by his family’s mind games, hell he was probably used to it.

‘Your family is fucked up.’ Kyle said.

‘Tell me about it.’

The crowd sang Alex happy birthday as the line-ups were introduced. As much as Alex’s family being around had influenced his play before, tonight that didn’t seem to be the case. Alex was an absolute terror on the ice. Michael was interested in the stat-sheet after the game, because Alex seemed to be everywhere. He scored the game winner in double OT, on his birthday, because he was Alex Manes and that was just what he did.

Their team dinner, which was already supposed to be a celebration of Alex’s birthday, also became kind of a celebration of Alex being awesome at hockey. Alex’s brothers were pointedly _not invited_. The Bruins had basically rented the entire restaurant so they were the only people there, which was good because there ended up being about thirty something people. Including Isobel and Liz.

‘Alex.’ Isobel smiled brightly as she managed to find them in the throng of people. ‘Happy birthday!’ She pulled Alex in for a hug.

‘Thank you Isobel.’ Alex said kindly.

‘So, do I get to start planning another party?’ She asked, wiggling her eyebrows as she held Alex’s hand, looking down at his fingers. Alex looked confused.

‘Is.’ Michael said with a clear warning. Alex was still frowning.

‘What’s going on?’

‘Nothing, my sister is being a menace.’ Michael said with a stern look at Isobel, she just rolled her eyes.

‘You’ll get there eventually Michael.’ She waved and moved off to go find Noah, probably.

The dinner was very nice, but also loud and tiring. The food was great, of course, but Michael was about ready to take Alex home. Alex seemed to agree. At around eleven, he got up and announced that they were going home. It was met with some disappointed noises, but Alex held firm.

As they started their drive home, Alex was looking out of the window.

‘I’ve been thinking about changing my last name.’ He said into the silence. Michael glanced over at him, he looked calm.

‘Because of what it’s associated with?’

‘Yeah.’ Alex said.

‘Well, I’m sure everyone would understand if you did.’ Michael said. The rest of the car ride back to the apartment was quiet in that wonderfully sated, comfortable way. Where you were comfortable with someone to the point where you didn’t need to say anything. They arrived back at the apartment at a quarter past eleven, Alex looked tired, but happy.

‘Okay, I know we’re both exhausted, but I do still have to give you your present.’ Michael said, chucking his coat onto a chair, he’d put that away tomorrow.

‘First, let’s get ready for bed.’ Alex said with a yawn and it was Alex’s birthday so who was Michael to argue? When they were both changed, teeth brushed and ready, they sat across from each other on the bed, cross-legged.

‘There you go.’ Michael said, setting the three little presents in front of Alex. Despite his fatigue, Alex smiled warmly and started with the first gift.

He slowly unwrapped the three small, glass tree frogs. They were made of beautiful shades of green and brown and red and Michael thought they were awesome. Alex looked up at him with wide, misty eyes.

‘To remind you that I love you, no matter what.’ They were a reference to the first time they really _talked_ , a reference to the point where they decided to stop lying to each other. Alex placed the three little frogs on his nightstand with reverence. Then he launched himself into Michael’s arms.

‘Thank you. That is the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever gotten.’ Michael realized in that moment, that with a shitty dad like his, Alex probably never had a real _fun_ birthday. They fell asleep tangled up together.

 

Michael woke up with a strange sort of dread in his chest. He wasn’t sure why. Since Alex had been there with him, Michael hadn’t really woken up with fear. Just soft, warm mornings. Maybe it was because Alex already seemed to be up. The bed was empty and felt cold to the touch, Michael frowned, maybe he’d had trouble sleeping? He realized what had really woken him up when his phone started buzzing on the bedside table. His phone didn’t recognize the number, but it had already called him twice. Michael frowned and answered.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello, is this Michael Guerin?’ He didn’t recognize the voice.

‘Yes, who is this?’

‘Special agent Thomas, FBI.’ Michael suddenly felt cold. ‘Alex Manes left your number as his emergency contact.’

‘Okay, why are you calling me?’

‘Because we can’t reach him.’ Michael looked over at the bedside table and Alex’s phone was gone. Maybe he’d gone for a run?

‘I’ll check the apartment.’ Michael said, pushing himself from the bed. ‘Alex?’ He asked the silence. No answer. He checked the table, no note. Kitchen counter, no note. He was starting to feel more and more terrified. ‘I can’t find him in the apartment. Why are you trying to contact him?’ Michael asked. Thomas took a deep breath before answering. It was like someone made the floor disappear from under Michael’s feet.

‘Our agents called late last night, they lost track of Jesse Manes. We don’t know where he is.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo. I'm sorry? I know, I know, cliffhanger. Where is Alex? Better question, where is Jesse?  
> This last chapter (before the epilogue) /might/ take me two days. It's going to be a long one, I think. Lot's to bring to a close and such. 
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight.


	19. I'm a midnight talker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse Manes is a piece of shit. That's it. That's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okaaay, so I know I said this might take me two days... I was wrong. I actually started writing today and didn't stop. I also have the epilogue pretty much finished. Holy crap. 
> 
> So, about this chapter. Jesse Manes is in it. That's my warning. He is a piece of trash, but he will get what's coming to him.

Waking up at five in the morning with his dad standing over him with a gun, was about as terrifying as he’d imagined it would be. Especially because the gun was pointed at Michael, not at him. His father held his finger against his lips to signal Alex had to be quiet. That was the only reason he didn’t yell or scream. If the gun had been pointed at him, he may have tried something, but it wasn’t, it was pointed at Michael.

 _Up._ His father mouthed at him. Alex made sure to move slowly but surely. As he stood up, he could feel the shape of his phone move in his sweater’s pouch. That was good. Alex made sure to keep his hands where his dad could see them as he moved from the room. Turning his back on his dad with a gun, made every hair on his body stand up, it made every instinct in him scream. But all Alex could really think of, was leading his dad away from Michael. He just needed to keep him away from Michael.

‘You know,’ his dad said softly as he came up behind Alex, the cold steel of the gun brushed past Alex’s neck and he knew his breath stuttered. ‘initially I was going to make this look like a murder suicide.’ Alex felt so cold. ‘But I decided I’d rather leave him alive, so he has to live with this. So that he has to live, knowing he’s the reason you died. Happy birthday Alex.’

Alex didn’t move, he wasn’t even sure he remembered how. He’d told himself, that if it came down to a confrontation with his dad, he was going to be brave, fight back. But right there and then, none of that happened. He didn’t fight, he didn’t run, he froze.

‘Let’s go.’ His dad said softly, poking the gun between Alex’s shoulder blades to get him to move.

‘Where are we going?’ Alex asked, he didn’t sound as choked or as panicked as he felt. Alex started moving towards the door. Just get him away from Michael.

‘Somewhere they won’t easily find your body.’ Alex nodded slowly. Okay. He was going to die. His dad was going to kill him. Unless he did something. Anything. ‘Car keys?’ His dad asked.

‘It’s not my car.’ Alex said, nodding at the keys in the bowl near the door.

‘Good.’ He waved the gun in the direction of the door, and the keys. Alex guessed that meant _move._ ‘I’m going to put the gun away, but you try to run or scream or do anything to give this away, I will kill you and then go back and kill _him.’_ His dad said _him_ with so much venom, Alex felt a little sick. That may also have just been his imminent death. ‘Nod if you understand me.’ Alex nodded.

If Alex had had _any_ doubt that his dad would go through with his threat, maybe he would have tried something, but he didn’t. His dad put the gun in the back of his pants and threw Alex the keys. Alex almost dropped them because of his shaking hands. His dad sneered at him.

‘Sorry dad.’ The response was so ingrained in him he didn’t even think about it. He felt as if he was in a dream, no, a nightmare. Like this wasn’t real, couldn’t be real. His dad had been MIA for months, and here the bastard was, barrelling back into Alex’s life.

They arrived at Michael’s truck and Alex unlocked the door. He thought about trying to bail with the truck, but that would leave his dad in the building with Michael. He couldn’t do that. So he settled in the driver’s seat and started the car.

‘Where am I going?’ Alex asked, trying not to fumble while he put the truck in drive.

‘I’ll tell you.’ With anyone else, Alex would have rolled his eyes. What a fucking useless answer. At least wherever they were going, it was away from Michael.

Alex kept both of his hands firmly on the wheel and his eyes on the road. He thought about speeding, just to see if a cop would spot them, but that just seemed like speeding towards his impending doom, and he wasn’t quite ready to do that. He thought about crashing the truck, but where? And the odds of his dad being too injured to shoot him seemed too low.

‘Left here.’ Alex had no idea where they were going, they’d been driving for at least fifteen minutes taking seemingly random lefts and rights. There was no way his father had been in the city for long enough that he knew where he was going, right? How long _had_ he been in the city? Why the fuck hadn’t the FBI warned him?

His phone was on silent. The realization hit him like a truck going at full speed. He’d turned off the sound for his birthday dinner last night, and he hadn’t turned it back on. Maybe they had tried to warn him. Fuck. No use in dwelling on that now. The phone being on silent was also the only reason his dad probably didn’t know he had it on him. He just needed to be smart. Use it to his advantage.

‘Down there.’ His father pointed down a small street. They’d been on the road at least thirty minutes now.

‘Where are we going?’

‘Shut up! Do as I tell you!’ His dad lashed out in a sudden burst of fury. His fist connected with the side of Alex’s head and his whole vision went blurry for a second. He nearly crashed the truck. ‘Did you really think I was just going to let you get away with ruining my name?’ He sneered as Alex pulled the car to a stop in the small street, he could see the river now. ‘ _I_ tell you what to do. This idea you got in your stupid head that this is _your_ life, and that I can’t control you is what is going to get you killed.’

‘The only reason you’re going to kill me is _because_ you can’t control me.’ Alex said and his father went dead silent. Deadly silent.

‘ _Out_.’ As Alex slipped from the car he saw his chance. He could have, _should_ _have_ probably called 911, but what good was that going to do him? He couldn’t say where he was, or what was happening. Instead, he slipped his phone from his pouch and hit record on the phone’s voice recorder. He slipped his phone back in his pouch with shaking hands. When he stepped out from behind the front of the truck, his dad was right there, and for a second, Alex thought that was going to be it.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said automatically. His father shoved him against the brick wall behind him. The back of his head bounced off the stone and for the second time in two minutes, his vision went blurry. That wasn’t good.

‘You think you can get all smart with me? I can still go back to get your _boy_. If you want him to live, do what I tell you to.’ The gun was back now, Alex flinched away from it as his dad pointed it at his face. The voice in the back of his head screamed _Talk!_

‘I saw James and Chris yesterday.’ Alex managed. He felt dizzy and nauseous. ‘Did you know Jay was back in the county? Did he come see you?’ He swallowed and made eye-contact with his dad. ‘Or were you too busy running from the FBI?’

‘I am _not_ running from the FBI. They have nothing on me, they know _nothing_.’ His dad spat, the gun clicked and Alex may never have held a gun in his life, but he knew that was bad. So he pressed himself against the wall and stayed still.

‘They know some things.’ Alex said. Keep him talking, as long as he’s focussed on what you’re saying, he’s not going to shoot you. His dad looked at him with something almost close to interest.

‘What do you know?’

That was it. His opening. Talk, Alex, talk.

‘I know they know mom was never seen or heard from again after the day she left. I know Chris never actually saw her leave.’ Alex swallowed thickly. ‘People are going to miss me, dad. I’m not the same scared little kid I was six months ago. I have friends now, family, the Bruins know everything and so does the FBI. If I disappear, they’re going to _know_ it was you dad.’

‘Your mom had friends too, and a family, and a job. No one looked for her.’ Alex could feel his heart beat in his throat. ‘I made her disappear too.’

‘What did you do to her?’ Alex asked, his voice cracked half way through. The fear had been replaced by anger now. He really was that cocky. He really thought people weren’t going to look for Alex, people weren’t going to care? He was wrong. He really thought they weren’t going to prove he hurt his mom? He was wrong.

‘She tried to leave me.’ His dad said, he had the gun pointed in the direction of Alex’s stomach. ‘She told me she would leave and take _my_ sons with her.’ _His_ sons. The sons he turned against each other. The sons that could barely look each other in the eye now. The sons _he_ tried to destroy. Alex was furious.

‘What did you do?’ Alex asked again, he could barely contain the rage threatening to overtake his face.

‘I killed her.’ Even though he’d known that was the answer, it still felt like a slap in the face. ‘I drove her into the desert and I buried her near the outcrops.’ Alex felt himself sway.

‘You’re a monster.’

‘I am the monster? No Alex, _you_ are. You’re the one giving in to your disgusting desires.’ His father spat before advancing on him. ‘You also just signed your own death certificate. I can’t let you live now.’ He said in a low voice.

‘Don’t pretend you weren’t going to kill me anyways.’ Alex spat at him. He was so fucking angry. His mom had loved him. She had loved _them_. He took her away. He took her away because she wanted a better life for all of them. He’d taken their mom, poisoned the memory of her and poisoned their relationships with each other. He hated him.

‘Walk towards the river.’ His dad commanded, stepping back and motioning towards the water. He knew what the plan was. Shoot him and ditch his body in the water.

‘No.’ Alex said, his voice sounded like a gunshot. ‘No.’ He repeated. His father raised his eyebrows at him.

‘Excuse me?’ A snarl overtook his father’s face as he raised the gun and stepped towards Alex.

That was his mistake. Alex may never have held a gun before, but he’d watched plenty of action movies, and he understood that the effectiveness of a gun decreased the closer you got to someone. The gun was in reach. Alex shocked into motion. He ducked. A shot rang out next to his ear and immediately there was a blinding pain and a ringing in his right ear. He wobbled. He couldn’t stop moving. He brought his hands up, wrapped them around the gun. With his left foot he kicked at his father’s knee. If gave way with a satisfying crunch. His dad screamed, but didn’t let go of the gun yet. Alex kept the gun away from himself with one hand and used his other elbow to strike at his dad’s face. The elbow is the strongest part of the body. Now his dad’s grip on the gun loosened.

Suddenly Alex was standing across from his dad, with a gun in his hands. He held it with two hands, just like he’d seen in the movies and pointed it at his father’s heart. He was down on one knee.

‘Not bad.’ His dad hissed, the sound distorted by Alex’s fucked up ear, he was breathing heavy. He looked like he was trying to murder Alex with his eyes. ‘Too bad you’re too weak to pull the trigger.’

‘I really thought you’d be done underestimating me now.’ Alex said, his heart was hammering in his chest. His brain felt like it was trying to push it’s way out of his skull. ‘The only reason I haven’t shot you yet, is because I want you to go to prison.’

‘For what?’ His dad mocked.

‘Murder, and maybe attempted murder.’ Alex said, he did _really_ want to shoot, but he also really wanted to see the look on his dad’s face when the jury read his guilty verdict.

‘No one is going to believe you. You have no proof.’ His dad sneered, trying to push himself to his feet.

‘Actually,’ Alex said, finally letting a vicious grin overtake his face. ‘I do.’ He took one hand off the gun and slipped his phone from his pouch, it was still recording. ‘You confessed, dad.’

It was beautiful. Watching the smug sneer slide off his father’s face. Watching as it was replaced by a glimpse of fear, or horror, that he’d let Alex fool him. It settled into the impassive mask his dad had perfected. He pushed himself back onto two feet. Alex put the phone back in his pouch and steadied the gun with two hands.

‘Don’t come any closer.’ Alex warned.

‘You’re not going to shoot me, Alex.’ His dad took a step forward.

‘If you come any closer, I _will_ shoot.’ Alex warned a second time. His dad didn’t listen. He took another step and Alex squeezed the trigger. Firing a gun was, apparently, not rocket science. His dad went down with a scream. Alex had shot him in the leg. ‘I warned you.’

‘You son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you!’ His dad screamed. Growling loudly as he jostled his injured legs. Alex ignored him and took his phone from his pocket, he kept the gun pointed at the ground with his other hand. He ended the recording and dialled 911, holding the phone against his good ear. His hand was shaking.

‘911 what is your emergency?’ The lady on the other end of the line asked.

‘My name is Alex Manes, and my father just confessed to my mother’s murder and then he tried to kill me.’ Saying it out loud was a fucking reality check.

‘Are you safe right now?’ The lady asked, he could hear typing in the background.

‘Yes, I took the gun from him, and shot him in the leg. He’s probably going to need an ambulance.’ Alex was hit with another wave of nausea. ‘Oh and I think I need an ambulance too?’ It came out much more questioning then he’d meant it.

‘Are you hurt?’ She asked, concern lacing her voice now.

‘Don’t you need to know where I am?’

‘I am triangulating your phone. Are you hurt?’ She pressed.

‘A little.’ Alex wasn’t sure to be honest. He didn’t feel very good and the ringing in his ear was _loud_.

‘Police and ambulance should be there within five minutes. Make sure you stay away from your father, but keep an eye on him if you can.’

‘I hurt both his legs, I don’t think he’s going to get very far crawling.’ That actually startled a small laugh out of the lady.

‘Good. Still, keep an eye on him.’ She said and Alex made sure to listen to her. ‘Keep talking to me Alex.’

‘About what?’

‘You’re Alex Manes, from the Bruins?’ She asked and Alex frowned.

‘Yeah, that’s me.’ He was vaguely aware he sounded confused.

‘Then I think you’ve met my daughters.’ She said. ‘Kim and Katie? They speak very highly of you.’

‘Oh, Kim and Katie are your daughters? They’re wonderful.’

‘Thank you very much.’ He could hear she was smiling. ‘Can you hear sirens yet?’ Alex took the phone away from his good ear and listened. His dad was still groaning and moaning on the floor. He was laying back now and he looked like he wasn’t feeling too good either. Alex didn’t care much. The pool of blood under his dad’s leg was fairly big now. He heard sirens, very vaguely. The sun was starting to peak over the horizon now.

‘Yeah but they don’t sound super close yet.’ Alex told Katie and Kim’s mom.

‘Okay, is your father still there?’

‘Yes, he’s laying down now.’

‘Is he still breathing?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay. Do you still have the gun?’

‘Yes it’s in my hand.’

‘Okay, the police are going to need you to put that down, do you understand?’

‘Yes.’

‘Okay good. Can you put it down somewhere away from your father and yourself, where it’s safe so the police can take it as evidence?’

‘I’ll put it on the ground.’

‘Okay, good.’ She said. ‘Are they closer yet?’ Alex listened again.

‘Yes they sound closer now.’ He took a few steps to his left and put the gun on the floor carefully, he wasn’t sure how to put it on the safety, so he just left it there. He swayed again as he stood up straight. His hand was shaking pretty bad at this point.

‘Good. I will stay on the line with you until they are actually there.’ She said. ‘Are you still doing okay?’

‘I’m dizzy.’

‘That’s probably shock. You’re going to be okay.’ He wasn’t sure why, but he believed her.

‘I recorded the whole thing.’

‘What do you mean Alex?’

‘I turned on the voice recorder on my phone. I can prove what happened.’

‘That was very smart of you.’

‘I saw it in a TV show.’ He could finally see the blue lights of a police car bouncing off the walls of the alley. ‘They’re here.’ The car couldn’t get all the way to them, the truck was in the way.

‘Okay my boy. You did good.’

‘Thank you.’ Alex said. ‘Tell Katie and Kim I said hi. No, maybe they shouldn’t know about this, maybe don’t tell them I shot my dad. O fuck. I _shot_ my _dad_.’

‘Alex. Calm down.’ She said in a stern but kind voice. ‘You are going to be okay.’

‘Boston Police Department.’ A man coming from the car called out and Alex’s initial response was: well duh.

‘I have to go now.’

‘Okay kid, good luck.’ He hung up the phone.

It was all a whirlwind after that. The police handcuffed both him and his dad. They put the gun in a plastic bag and put Alex’s phone in another. The first ambulance took his dad, the paramedics deemed him the more critical one, and with the bullet hole in his leg they were probably right. A cop joined them in the ambulance. Alex flinched at the noise of the sirens. The officer that stayed with him as they waited for the second ambulance was a kind looking black woman, who’s uniform said Williams.

‘Like Serena Williams.’ Alex wasn’t even really aware he said that out loud until she reacted with a short laugh.

‘Oh, I wish.’ She said. ‘You still doing alright there kid?’

‘I’m twenty years old.’

‘So, you’re at least ten years younger then me, that makes you a kid.’ She argued. ‘How’s the ear?’ She had sat down on his good side, so he could hear her.

‘Still ringing.’

‘The head?’

‘Feels like exploding.’

‘So, the same?’

‘Yeah, the same.’

‘As long as it’s not getting worse, I see that as a good sign.’ She said. ‘Is there anyone we should call for you?’

Alex suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of longing, of want. He wanted curls and warmth and hazel eyes. He wanted-

‘Michael.’ It sounded like a prayer.

‘Alright. Do you have a number for Michael?’

‘It’s in my phone.’ Alex said. ‘But that’s in an evidence bag.’ He didn’t know his number by heart, did anyone know numbers by heart these days?

‘Is his number anywhere else?’

‘Yes, the FBI has him as my emergency contact.’

‘Alright, we can work with that.’ She smiled at him. ‘You are going to remain handcuffed while we go to the hospital, until we can verify your story.’

‘I understand.’

Alex hated hospitals. They smelt weird and they were too bright and all they did was poke and prod at you and ask difficult questions. All Alex wanted was Michael, and to sleep for at least a day. But mostly Michael. The police cleared him very quickly. Apparently recording a whole ass murder confession and recording how your dad told you he was going to kill you meant you did nothing wrong. Self-defence.

Luckily, that also meant he got to see his visitors. Yeah. More than one of them. He didn’t really care much beyond the curly haired one that came through the door first. There was an awful sort of noise. It took Alex a second to realize it was his own sob. His cheeks were wet. When did he start crying?

It didn’t matter because Michael was _right there_ and Alex pulled him close without a second thought. Michael was crying too, he realized as he felt tears fall onto his shoulder. Alex kept his eyes closed. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed there. It was long enough that he ran out of tears. When they finally sort of untangled from each other, Alex realized there were more people in the room. Isobel was there, looking suspiciously red under her eyes. Kyle was in the corner, looking wrung out. Max entered the room with a little tray of steaming cups. Michael took his hand.

‘Oh hey Alex. How are you?’ Max asked as he handed the first cup to Isobel. That was a good question. How _was_ he? He felt like he’d been in a street-fight, which he technically had. He felt exhausted. Sad. Angry. Loved. Strong.

‘Better now.’ He settled on. Max handed another cup to Kyle, who practically inhaled the content.

‘Good. What’s the verdict on your head?’ Max asked. He seemed the only one capable of normal human interaction. He tried to hand the third cup to Michael, but he didn’t seem to realize Max existed. His eyes were fixed on Alex.

‘Um, blown eardrum on the right. Concussion.’ Alex summarized. Max nodded and frowned.

‘That sucks.’

‘Yeah, I know.’

‘Did you really get your dad to confess to murder?’

‘ _Max_!’ Isobel said, outraged. Alex flinched at her sharp tone, it made his head feel like there was at least seventeen horses going on a rampage in it.

‘ _Isobel_.’ Kyle said, low and urgent, frowning at her.

‘Sorry.’ She said. ‘But dear god Max, the kid is traumatized, leave him be.’

‘The “kid” can speak for himself.’ They were the first words Michael said since he got into the room and he sounds wrecked, like he’d spend way too much time screaming recently. Alex appreciated the words.

‘I did. And I shot him.’ Alex said. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it out loud, but it was the first time he didn’t immediately feel overtaken by panic.

‘And you recorded the whole thing?’ Kyle spoke up from his corner. He sounded like he was trying very hard not to show what he was feeling.

‘Yeah.’

‘You’re a fucking genius, Alex.’ Kyle said and in a burst of movement and emotion, Kyle walked over to him and pressed a kiss to Alex’s hair. Luckily he chose the good side of Alex’s head.

‘I agree.’ Michael added, he smiled at Kyle. A genuine, warm smile. Hm. That was new.

Michael refused to leave his side after that, and Alex refused to let him. There was a lot of people that came to see him over the next three days that they kept him in the hospital. They should have released him after day one (at least Alex thought so) but they were “monitoring” his ear and his head.

It did give Michael the chance to tell him what happened on his end. The FBI had called him, but Alex had been gone by then. In fact, the moment the FBI started tracking his phone (because Michael noticed it was gone), was about ten minutes before Alex called 911. Michael had called Kyle, who had dropped everything and came to him. They had apparently bonded over their shared desire to go find Alex’s father and finish what Alex started. They hadn’t, but Michael had gotten in a giant argument with some hospital people that didn’t want to let him see Alex because he “wasn’t family”. Michael had apparently yelled that Alex’s “family” tried to kill him so that that wasn’t an indicator. After a very firm conversation with Kyle and Max, the hospital staff had finally agreed to let the gaggle of Bruins and affiliates see Alex.

Besides that, his other visitors kept it interesting. Mattenson and Harvey showed up the second day, with a gigantic card with messages from all the players and pretty much all of the staff at the Bruins. Liz and Maria came that same day, but in the afternoon. They were both wonderful and turned out to be the absolute best at distracting him. His brother even showed up, Chris that was, on his own. It was stilted and awkward, but he was there. He came. And that meant something to Alex. They were still far from okay, and Michael’s tension around Chris was a pretty good indicator of that, but it was a tiny step in the right direction. Kyle’s dad showed up and he was super kind and supportive. Alex was going to be out for a while, it was going to take at least six to eight weeks for his ear to heal. And then there was the mess of his brain, his “mental state”.

This time, Alex swore to take his time. Make sure he was actually okay. Once he was released from the hospital, he made an appointment with a therapist. It was about time he dealt with all of this properly. Especially since the whole attempted murder thing. Apparently that fucked with your head. It wasn’t all that easy for him, admitting he wasn’t okay, but his therapist was very good at seeing through his bullshit.

They found the remains of his mother the day Alex was released from the hospital. Alex had expected he would feel _something_. But it seemed he’d used up all of his emotions for the next seventeen years. He wanted to fly to New Mexico to bury her properly, but with his ear, that was not an option. Chris offered to drive him there. He declined. They were getting better, but he wasn’t ready to go on a 32 hour, 2000 mile drive with him. He decided he would visit her grave when his ear was better. It hurt a little not to be able to be there, but he’d found her truth, proven that she never left her boys, not willingly. That would have to be enough, for now.

Michael refused to go to work for the first week after the incident. He stuck to Alex’s side like he was glued there, and Alex would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel better. After the first week, Alex managed to convince him to work half days, depending on the time of training or the Bruins game.

The FBI charged Jesse Manes with first degree murder and attempted murder. Alex’s recording was their star witness. They asked him to testify anyways. To give background. A character witness. One to tell the jury how much of a monster his dad really was. Alex didn’t necessarily _want_ to get up in front of a whole room of people and tell his story, but if it helped put his dad away for the rest of his life? He was willing to do it.  

The only days Alex went to the trial was when he had to testify and the day they announced the verdict. He had no desire to spend day after day, looking at his father’s face. Testifying was not fun. After he came down from the stand he felt like a bunch of hungry coyotes had tried to pull him apart. But, he’d told his story. He’d watched the horrified looks on the juror’s faces as he described some of the things his dad did to him.

He was there for the verdict with Michael on one side, and Chris on the other. After all, Chris was the one to start pushing for his dad to be investigated for their mom’s murder. Flint was absent throughout the whole thing. James showed up for the verdict, but he didn’t come to sit with Alex and Chris. Alex decided he didn’t care. If they weren’t willing to see what was right in front of them, screw them.

‘On the count of first degree murder, we, the jury, find the defendant: Guilty.’ The pure relief, the feeling of cement blocks falling off Alex’s shoulders and his chest, was amazing. They found him guilty of a whole lot more things, but the big one was the only one Alex really registered.

Chris pulled Alex to his feet and hugged him tight. Michael didn’t let go of Alex’s hand, so it was a little awkward, but Alex set his free hand against his brother’s back.

‘Thank you.’ Chris said in his (good) ear. ‘You’re braver than I could ever dream to be.’

 

Alex didn’t play for the Bruins for three months. By the time he got back into playing shape, physically and mentally, there was only a few weeks left in the regular season. He’d been away for a while, and it was noticeable. He was still good, the team was still good, but it took them a few games to really start clicking again. Alex felt calmer about it though. He felt less pressure to be amazing.

Of course, it still sucked that they lost in the first round of the play-offs, but their sights quickly set on _next year_. The one thing that bothered Alex the most, was the stutter in his step every time the announcer called out “ _Number 88, Alex Manes!”_ He was so tired of being associated with that man. That name. The name his father had ruined. He hadn’t loved his last name before, but now it was not just associated with his abuser, but also with a murderer. He was going to do something about that.

Michael was…everything. He was a warm, steady presence in Alex’s turbulent few months. The eye of the hurricane going on around Alex. He was whatever Alex needed him to be, and he’d never be able to thank him enough for that. He seemed to know exactly what to say, never making Alex feel small. He made Alex feel like the hero of his own story. Maybe he was. Eventually. It took him some time to get there, but he was learning that was okay. Michael also decided to go to Boston University to study Sport Science. The Bruins did, in fact, help Michael pay for it. They would help him get his degree and then he would put that degree to use for the Bruins. It was a win-win.

They moved to a different place as soon as they could, one that didn’t have the bad memories attached to it. The little glass tree frogs never left Alex’s nightstand. He’d made a habit of patting all three of them on their tiny heads every night. Just as a reminder.

Kyle met Alex’s doctor, and pretty much fell head over heels in love. She was smart as hell, didn’t take anyone’s bullshit and she had the softest looking, chocolate coloured skin. Alex was pretty sure Kyle would have proposed on the spot, had Alex not elbowed him in the side.

After the season ended, they left to New Mexico for a few weeks. Alex got to visit his mom’s grave. They went and stayed with Chris, who’d moved back to their home town and was now setting up a program for troubled kids.

Michael and Alex were sitting on the tailgate of their borrowed truck, watching the sun set over the New Mexico desert. They were pressed together, Michael’s hand tangled with Alex’s. The sky turned all sorts of shades of yellow, orange and pink. It was breath-taking. Alex was just considering taking a picture of it when Michael spoke up.

‘So, I know how much you’ve been thinking about changing your last name, maybe going by your mother’s maiden name, because of how many bad memories _Manes_ has tied to it.’ Michael said, he sounded hesitant, he swallowed before continuing. ‘But I was thinking, there’s another way you could change your name.’

‘Really?’ Alex asked, tilting his head. He wasn’t sure why this was making Michael nervous. Michael turned his head a little so he could really look at Alex.

‘Yeah. We could, you know, get married, adopt a bunch of kids and teach them how to dream.’ Michael said, and something about those words rang a bell, way back in the deep dark depths of Alex’s brain. Back in the deep dark depths of his early teens pop/country phase.

‘Did you just quote Taylor Swift at me?’ He wasn’t sure why that was the part he focussed on. Not the whole _Michael just fucking proposed_ part.

‘Paraphrased.’ Michael corrected him.

‘Did you just propose to me by paraphrasing Taylor Swift?’ Alex knew he was grinning way too widely to really pull of the serious tone he was going for. ‘Do you even have a ring?’

‘No?’ Michael said. ‘I told you before, you’re going to make the big bucks, _you_ should get _me_ a ring.’

‘You’re lucky I love you.’ Alex sighed.

‘I know.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. I've done it. The official story is done. All there's left is the epilogue. I can't believe it. I'll save the sappy end note for the actual last chapter. 
> 
> It was really important to me that because of the support of his chosen family, Alex was able to "be the hero of his own story" (thanks Liz). Also, fuck Jesse Manes, he's going to rot in prison now! *cheers*
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years later....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap. Here it is. The actual last chapter of this fic. It's sappy and mushy, but I had to.

‘Maddie!’ Michael yelled. ‘Let’s go, we’re gonna be late!’

‘She’s _always_ the last one ready.’ Matt rolled his eyes next to him. That looked like a move he’d learned from Alex. The thundering of little feet on the stairs signalled the arrival of Maddie.

‘I’m here!’ She called. She had, somehow, managed to braid black and gold ribbons into her hair. She was eleven. How the hell?

‘How did you-? Nope, doesn’t matter.’ Michael stopped himself. ‘I like your braids.’

‘Thank you! I learned how to do them from YouTube.’ Of course she did.

‘Of course you did.’ Matt said, he set his hand on Maddie’s shoulder. ‘Now come on brat, time to go.’

‘Oooooh. Matt called Maddie a brat.’ Michael gave Riley a look that said “stop”. Riley, who was getting seriously tall at this point, just grinned at him. Matt stuck out his tongue.

‘Oh great to see that the fourteen and fifteen year old are the most mature ones in this house.’ Michael deadpanned. ‘Now, _out._ ’

They all hurried from the front door. Michael watched as the kids formed a little gaggle of black and gold as they headed for the car. Michael made sure to lock the front door to the house. Their house. The _big_ house. The one they bought after Alex signed his 64 _million_ dollar contract. The whole thing was still surreal to Michael, and they’d lived there for three years now. The drive to TD Garden was one filled with songs made for eleven year olds. Michael could see the pain on Matt and Riley’s faces, but neither of them commented. It was nice though, that the season for Providence had ended already, it meant that Michael could focus on the kids and Alex, and didn’t have to attempt to teach a bunch of teenagers in the Bruins minor league team how to take care of themselves. Michael loved his job, but sometimes it made him feel a lot like a baby sitter. 

They had said goodbye to Alex that morning, but it still felt like ages since he’d seen him. They were ridiculously attached like that.

‘This is so exciting!’ Maddie squealed as she jumped from the car. Even though the game was going to last until way after her regular bedtime, there was no way Maddie would have agreed to stay home for this. Out of the three kids, she was actually the biggest hockey fan. Alex had been teaching her how to skate fast like he could and she was  _living._

They made their way into the building. Maddie ended up swinging between Riley and Matt, holding their hands, as Michael followed behind them. He needed to take a picture of this. So he did. Three kids wearing Boston #88 jerseys, walking down the halls of TD Garden like they belonged there. It was almost enough to make him emotional. He didn’t have time for that though.

They met Maria in the family box and she looked about as terrified as Michael had ever seen her.

‘Oh thank god you’re here.’ She said, rushing towards him, only to completely ignore him and head for Maddie. ‘Our good luck charm is here.’ Maria knelt down to hug Maddie.

‘Good to see you too Maria, I’m fine thanks for asking.’ Michael said, steering the boys towards the window.

‘Guerin.’ Maria said it like a warning. ‘Come on little one.’ Maria took Maddie’s hand and lead her to the window.

‘Have you guys spotted Alex yet?’ Michael asked as he joined Riley and Matt at the window.

‘Yeah, he’s over there.’ Matt pointed at a small figure down on the ice. #88 was visible even from up in the box. He was skating next to Kyle, warming up for game seven. The Garden was _packed_ and _loud_. It seemed like everyone was determined to blow the roof off the place.

It had been a surreal season. After the first two months, they’d been at the bottom of the standings, nothing seemed to be working for them. But they had fought back, kept fighting, kept winning, and they’d finished the regular season with the third best over-all record. And now, now they were in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

‘Michael.’ He turned to find Aisha, Kyle’s wife, resting her hands on her round belly.

‘Doctor Valenti.’ Michael greeted her, he liked reminding everyone, especially Kyle, that his wife was a doctor, and that she was smarter than them. ‘How are you?’

‘Good, nervous, but good.’ She said with a smile as Matt turned to wave at her. She waved back with a grin. ‘I saw Maria already kidnapped Maddie.’

‘Yeah, she barely even acknowledged I was there.’ Michael pouted.

‘Well it’s your fault, your daughter is just too adorable.’ Aisha shrugged.

‘That is true.’ Michael shrugged.

He was nervous as all hell, these playoffs Michael had actually been more nervous for games than Alex had. It was like Michael realized that this was it, this was their chance. The NHL was incredibly competitive and they’d finally made it to the finals. Now, with game 7, it truly was do or die. Losing this now, after everything, at home, would be a giant blow to this team.

When the game started, Michael was very glad there were other family members near him, he could not have done this alone. The thing that kept him the most calm was the kids unwavering faith in Alex, and the team, but mostly Alex.

‘They’re going to be fine.’ Matt stressed after their opponent scored first. He looked so certain, Michael couldn’t not believe him.

‘See, we told you.’ Riley grinned when Kyle tied the game.

‘Look at him go!’ Maddie exclaimed when they took the lead.

‘That piece of _sh_ -poop.’ Matt corrected himself, as their opponent scored on a powerplay they didn’t deserve.

Alex was amazing, as usual. Michael could not take his eyes off him. Ever since he’d broken free from his father, he’d been getting better and better, year after year. Alex’s biggest fear had always been that he’d never be able to get out of the shadow of the story of what happened to him. That he’d always be the gay hockey player with the dad that tried to kill him. Five years later, no one talked about his father anymore. He was rotting away in prison where he belonged. Life without the possibility of parole in a maximum security prison. Forgotten.

Alex wasn’t known for being the gay hockey player. He wasn’t known as the hockey player who’s dad killed his mom. He wasn’t known as the hockey player who’s dad tried to kill him.

He was known as one of the biggest draft steals in recent memory. He was known as the best hockey player of his generation. And he would be known as the one who won the Bruins the Stanley Cup.

Because with the game tied at two, and one minute remaining, Alex did exactly what Michael had seen him do more than five years ago, during that first training camp. Off an assist from Kyle, he pirouetted around a defender, somehow keeping the puck with him and shot on goal. It went in. Michael wasn’t sure what his face did in that moment. He was pretty sure he yelled. He was one hundred percent sure he caught Maddie as she launched herself at him. He was also pretty sure the Garden was actually _shaking_ , _Michael_ was shaking. Matt and Riley were hugging and jumping up and down, Maria was crying, Liz looked ready to sprout wings and fly and Aisha was also looking a little teary-eyed.

‘Goal scorer: _Alex Guerin_!’ The announcer called, and the Garden, which really hadn’t quieted down at all, roared even louder. Alex Guerin. It had been four years, but that still didn’t get old. Michael couldn’t see any details on Alex, the tiny figure down on the ice, but he could _feel_ his joy, he radiated it. It wasn’t technically over yet. There were still 56 seconds on the clock, and in hockey that could be a _long_ time, but they weren’t giving it away now. There was no way.

‘I want to be a Guerin too.’ Maddie said in his ear as the clock hit thirty seconds. He looked at her with wide eyes. She’d lived with them for three years as their foster kid, but they hadn’t really talked about actually adopting her. He knew Alex wanted to, she was their daughter more then anything, but this was a huge thing.

‘Let’s talk about that after Alex gets to hold the Stanley Cup, okay Mads?’ Michael managed, but he felt emotional as hell. Matt appeared on his side.

‘Come here Maddie.’ He said and she clambered onto Matt’s shoulders, kicking Michael in the liver in the process.

‘Thanks.’ He told Matt, he rolled his eyes.

‘You’re going to have a breakdown in ten seconds, I’m just looking out for her.’ Matt said as the clock hit ten seconds. The entire Garden was counting down with it. Michael didn’t know what to do with himself. This was it.

5

He thought about the struggle they’d had to find each other.

4

He thought about their desperation to find someone who understood.

3

He thought about their first kiss and how unreal it had all felt.

2

He thought about seeing Alex in that hospital bed, looking exhausted but _proud_ in a way Michael had never seen him before.

1

He thought about the three kids right there next to him.

The horn signalling the end of the game sounded better then Michael remembered the horn ever sounding. Maddie let out a screech that would have been terrifying had she not looked so adorable. On the ice the players threw sticks, gloves and helmets into the air and crowded around each other, forming a giant group hug over the spoked B at centre ice. Michael didn’t know what to do with himself. It was like his heart was trying to beat out of his chest.

It was all a giant whirlwind after that. Alex got to raise the Cup and Michael watched him on one of the screens in the box. He looked elated, overjoyed and every other word to describe pure happiness. They got lead down to ice level. Riley hesitated before joining them. Michael looked at him questioningly.

‘This is like, family only, right?’ He said, clenching his jaw in the way he only did when he was unsure. It made Michael’s heart clench. Riley had been with them the shortest, about six months. Before he’d been to six foster families in three years. They all called him “difficult” and “uncommunicative”, he wasn’t difficult, he was just scared. Scared of getting attached and then being made to leave. Scared of saying or doing the wrong thing.

‘You _are_ family. Get over here.’

‘Yeah asshole, get over here.’ Matt said before grabbing Riley’s sleeve and pulling him into their little Guerin cluster. Matt had really helped settle Riley, another kid his age that had already experienced that Michael and Alex _got it_. In his year and a half with them, they’d had plenty of times where he would freak out, try to drive them away, or where he would panic if he felt cornered. But Michael and Alex had simply responded in a way that would’ve worked with them. And where he’d run away from every previous foster home, he had yet to run away from them.

‘Ooooooh. Matt called Riley an asshole.’ Maddie patted Matt on his head, she was still on his shoulders. Michael reminded himself to make her come down before they went out on the ice. That was a broken arm waiting to happen.

‘Please don’t copy that.’ Michael pleaded with Maddie who grinned widely at him.

They watched as Alex received the Conn Smythe trophy for playoff MVP. Michael was so distracted by the radiance of Alex’s smile that he almost missed the Zamboni doors opening and the families being allowed on the ice. Luckily, Michael didn’t have to tell Matt to put Maddie down on her own feet. He even made sure to hold her hand so she wouldn’t get lost in the group. His control over Maddie, however, didn’t last long.

‘Alex!’ She full on screeched as she spotted him. She proceeded to _bolt_ down the ice, no regard for the change in surface whatsoever. Alex’s face went from thrilled to horrified, when he realized she was on collision course with his legs. Somehow he managed to grab her and pick her off her ice before she could slip, fall, break her arm, or both of their arms. Michael and the boys followed at a slower pace. Alex had found his ginormous grin again and he pulled Matt towards him for a hug immediately, not giving the teenager a chance to make things awkward. Matt proceeded to save Riley by dragging him along in their little group hug. These were literally the only three people in the world Michael was willing to wait to get to Alex for. Luckily Riley seemed to know they could only have him wait so long. He carefully took Maddie from Alex and set her on her feet, distracting her by having her dance with him to the song playing over the speakers. Matt joined them, leaving Michael to finally get to Alex.

‘Hey.’ Alex grinned.

‘Hey.’ Michael grinned back.

‘Ugh, just kiss already.’ Riley groaned as he helped Maddie do a pirouette on the ice. She was apparently already trying to imitate Alex. Alex rolled his eyes at him and, yeah, Matt had totally learned that from Alex. Carbon copy.

Michael first just pulled Alex into a hug. It was always weird, hugging Alex on skates, because he was a few inches taller then normal. It threw off their balance.

‘That was epic.’ He said in Alex’s ear. He could feel him smile.

‘Thanks.’

‘Maddie wants us to adopt her.’ Alex jerked so hard he nearly send both of them to the ice. Alex looked at him with a shocked expression.

‘What?’ He kept his voice down, because the kids were _right there_.

‘She said she wants to be a “Guerin” too.’ Michael said after he pulled Alex back towards him. ‘I told her we were going to have to celebrate this Cup win first.’ Alex nodded against his shoulder.

‘Okay.’ He sounded a little shell-shocked. Michael knew why. The thought that this wonderful, smart little girl wanted to be part of their family, officially, was hard to believe. Sometimes he still felt, and he was sure Alex felt the same, like the two lost, lonely kids that had stumbled into each other and found something true and real. Sometimes they forgot that they were older now, that they were _not_ the same kids they were back then.

Michael did pull back to kiss Alex. He kept it short and sweet, but the emotion behind it was pretty clear.

‘You fucking did it.’ Michael said, nodding at the Stanley Cup Kyle was now dancing around Aisha with. She was laughing, delighted and warm.

‘I’m going to go get it.’ Alex grinned and he was off towards Kyle. Michael smiled after him. Twenty five and still able to look like an excited seven year old, it was almost impressive. Kyle handed the Cup to Alex without protest and Alex came back to them. Maddie’s eyes went impossibly wide.

‘Woah.’ She said, reaching out to it. Alex made sure to help her as she grabbed onto it and raised it over her head. She laughed with delight. After Maddie it was Matt’s turn. His cheeks got a little red, but he did accept the Cup from Alex and held it over his head. Riley, with his pale skin went pink all over, but he followed Matt’s lead and Alex grinned at both of them, clearly delighted they did the thing. And literally no one in their household was able to say no to Alex when he smiled like that.

Getting home proved to be a challenge. Every single news outlet wanted to talk to Alex and once they made it from the building, Maddie was asleep in Alex’s arms. Alex showed him the text he’d received from Chris. A congratulations with a picture attached of him and his brand new baby girl wearing Bruins gear. It was cute. Michael’s relationship with Chris was still a little strained, he was not as forgiving as Alex, but he had to admit, Chris hadn’t really missed a step since they’d gotten their dad locked up. Riley was carrying the Conn Smythe to the car. Michael was fairly certain they weren’t technically supposed to take it home, but no one had stopped them yet. They ended up putting it in the trunk. It was all a little hilarious. Especially when they came home and Alex told Riley to put it on the coffee table. Because that’s what you do with the NHL Playoff MVP trophy.  

When the kids were all in bed, and Michael and Alex were too, that was when it really seemed to settle in what had just happened.

‘Did I really score the game winner in game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals?’ Alex asked in the dark.

‘Yeah, you did.’

‘Damn.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Are we really going to adopt Maddie?’

‘If she really wants us to.’

‘Okay.’ Alex paused. ‘I love you.’

‘Good, because I love you too.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't write a hockey fic without a Stanley Cup win with a dramatic last minute goal, now could I?
> 
> Welp. That's it I guess. Done.  
> 170 pages in Word, almost 90.000 words. This is, without a doubt, the longest thing I have ever written. I could not have done it without your support, I regularly copied and pasted some of your comments into my document so that I could see them while I was writing. Thank you so much for coming on this journey with these two boys and their found family. 
> 
> It's my headcanon that Michael and Alex would totally foster/adopt the kids that are considered "difficult" and "hard to place", the older kids, the ones that were treated badly before, because they get it. Michael would absolutely want to take in the kids that no one else wanted because he knows what that's like, and Alex would just want these kids to feel loved, because he knows what it's like to grow up in an environment where the people that are supposed to love you, don't. So yeah, in my brain they look after all their foster kids, whether they end up adopting them or not. They totally put both Matt and Riley through college, because what else are they supposed to do with all that money?
> 
> As for what I'm doing next? I have a few idea's I'm playing around with. The one I'm most into rn is the Musketeers AU...
> 
> Come yell at me about this or whatever I should write next in the comments or on my Tumblr: Daffietjuh. 
> 
> As always, comments make me squeal with delight, and thank you.


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